Chapter Nine
chapter nine
KIRA
As we drive to the water park in Houston, my head spins from everything that transpired this morning. I’m usually good at organizing my thoughts and dealing with one situation at a time, but so much has happened that I don’t even know where to start.
I glance over at Ryder, who’s driving. He changed out of his work suit and into a T-shirt and board shorts. He’s wearing a baseball cap low on his forehead, and his sunglasses are covering his eyes. His fingers are tapping to the beat of the song that’s playing, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. As if he didn’t just flirt with me not even thirty minutes ago. I watched how he raked his gaze over my bathing suit, his hazel eyes darkening like delicious, warm caramel apples, and the way he waggled his brows and smirked playfully, turning my insides to mush.
It was probably innocent fun, and I’m most likely making something out of nothing, but it was a side of Ryder I’d never seen before. He’s always been nice—I mean, the guy literally gave my daughter and me a place to live—but he’s never crossed that line, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.
On one hand, the way he looked at me and flirted made me feel good. It’s been a while since I’ve felt wanted and desired by the opposite sex. But on the other hand, the want and desire always come with a price. A price I’ve learned the hard way I can’t afford to pay. The last time a guy looked at me like that, it ended with a restraining order.
Which reminds me … Ryder knows my car is stolen. And since he made it clear we’d be discussing it later, that means I’m going to have to be honest, and once he finds out everything, there’s a chance Violet and I will be homeless again. Luckily, since I’ve worked for Ryder for a couple of weeks now, I have a good amount of money saved, so if he does decide my situation is one that he doesn’t want to deal with, I’ll be able to find a place for Violet and me.
Of course, that will mean I’m jobless again.
“Hey,” Ryder says, snapping me from my thoughts. “Whatever’s going through that head of yours, push it to the side. We’re going to have a great day at the water park, and tonight, we’ll talk.” He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out together.”
I wish I had as much faith as he does, but my experience has caused me to become more jaded than I’d like to be. The problem is, when you’ve been hurt so many times in your life, eventually, your body starts to form scar tissue over the wound so thick that nothing can penetrate it. It protects you, but in doing so, it also isolates you from letting any potential risk—or happiness—in.
When we get to the ticket booth, I keep the girls busy while Ryder pays our entrance fees. Once he’s done, he guides us toward a cabana that’s situated right in front of the main kiddie pool and near the lazy river.
“This is for us?” I ask when we step inside.
There’s a television hanging in the corner, a mini fridge, an L-shaped couch, four lounge chairs, and a fan in each corner to keep us cool.
“Yeah, I figured the shade would help if the girls got hot or tired.”
“This is perfect. Thank you.”
I rifle through my bag, trying to find the sunscreen. I pull out several baggies of snacks—which the girls snag—a first aid kit, a pacifier Addie uses when she’s super cranky, a couple of diapers, and a pack of wipes.
“Aha!” I pull out the can of sunscreen. “Got it.”
“That purse reminds me of the Mary Poppins bag,” Ryder says with a chuckle, checking it out.
“It’s probably just as old,” I joke. “I can’t even imagine what I’d find if I were ever brave enough to clean it out.”
Brian bought me a nicer purse when we were together, but I left it, along with everything else he’d bought me, at his house, not wanting anything that came from him. I found this purse at Mom’s house, tucked away in my closet. It’s the purse I used when Violet was little, and while it’s old, it reminds me of before .
“But I love it,” I add.
After a waitress comes by to take our drink order, I slather the girls with sunscreen. I’m spraying myself when Ryder comes up behind me.
“Here, let me help.” He takes the can out of my hand, and I lift my hair, tying it into a ponytail.
He sprays me down, and then his hands are on me, rubbing the liquid along my neck and back. His touch is innocent, yet my body reacts as if it were anything but.
And then he drops to his knees and rubs the back of my calves and thighs, and I have to hold back a moan that’s threatening to come out.
He stands back up and leans into me from behind. “All done,” he murmurs, his warm breath hitting my ear and sending electric currents straight to the area between my legs.
I turn around, ready to tell him to stop messing with me, but when I do, my hands hit his chiseled chest, and our eyes lock, leaving me momentarily speechless.
“Do me?” he asks.
And because my brain is filled with some kind of sexual fog, like a dumbass, I say, “You want me to do you?”
Ryder chuckles. “As good as that sounds, I meant, can you put sunscreen on me?”
He lifts the can and shakes it while I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole.
Since I have nothing to say that will defend what I just said, wordlessly, I take the can from Ryder and spray him down. As I’m running my hands along the ridges of his abs, I realize he could’ve done the damn front himself.
“Turn around,” I choke out, trying and failing not to be turned on by his fit body.
He does as I said, and I spray his neck and back and then rub the liquid into his naturally tanned skin. He’s smooth and flawless, not a scar or tattoo in sight.
Brian was good-looking too, my subconscious reminds me.
“All done,” I breathe, taking a step back.
“Thanks.” He turns around and smiles warmly at me. “What should we do first? Pool or lazy river?”
“River!” Violet yells.
“Yay!” Addie adds, having no idea what we’re talking about but excited nonetheless.
“Lazy river it is,” Ryder says.
We spend the day swimming and playing in the water areas, and then we have lunch brought to us by the waitress who’s assigned to our cabana. It’s the most fun Violet and I have had in a long time, and when we’re leaving and she thanks us a dozen times for bringing them, I’m glad Ryder convinced us to go.
Violet has had a bad hand dealt to her, thanks to my shitty choices, and she deserves to have some fun. Which means I’m going to have to be honest with Ryder and hope he meant it when he said we’d figure it out together. I hate the thought of putting my trust in another man, but something tells me that Ryder is different. And that trusting him won’t be a mistake.
“Addie fell asleep the second I laid her down,” Ryder says when he walks into the living room and sits on the couch across from me. “Do you think she’s ready for a bigger bed? She looks like she’s outgrowing her crib.”
“Violet was about her age when I got her a toddler bed,” I tell him, thankful for the small talk. Soon, I’m going to have to pour my heart and soul out to this man, and I’m nowhere near ready to do so. Though, to be honest, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready.
“I’ll have to check them out.” He lifts his leg, placing his ankle on the top of his knee, and looks at me, his hazel eyes warm and soft. “Is Violet asleep?”
“Yeah. She had a wonderful day. Thank you.”
“I did too,” Ryder says. “The truth is, since you and Violet moved in, I find myself having quite a few wonderful days.”
I swallow nervously at his admission, unsure of what to say in response. Thankfully, he continues without expecting me to say anything.
“What I insinuated earlier, regarding the doughnuts, was inappropriate,” he says, shocking the hell out of me. “I got carried away in the moment … in you ,” he admits. “But that’s no excuse for what I said this morning. I shouldn’t have flirted with you. I’m your boss, and you deserve to feel safe in this home, and I promise it won’t happen again.”
His apology is filled with so much sincerity that a ball of emotion gets lodged in my throat. So many men would’ve made excuses, tried to blame the woman, but without me even asking, Ryder took full responsibility.
“I don’t want you to quit,” he says softly, remorse etched in his features, “but if you feel it’s best, I’ll pay you for the rest of your ninety days and help you find a place to live.”
“What? No.” I shake my head. “I don’t want to quit.”
If I’m honest, I might not have flirted with Ryder, but I’ve checked him out and fantasized about him. The only difference between the two of us was that he voiced his attraction by flirting.
“You’re right though,” I add. “I work for you, and flirting isn’t the best idea. Even if it’s innocent. Besides,” I say with a self-deprecating smile, “once you hear my baggage, you’ll realize I’m not the person you want to be flirting with. Hell, I wouldn’t blame you for letting me go.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Ryder says, his voice strong like steel. “But I do need to know everything so I know what we’re dealing with and I can help you.”
I release a harsh sigh and nod. “I guess it’s best if I start from the beginning.”