Chapter 12
Chapter
Twelve
Sawyer worried he was really out of practice and would make a mess of things, but the moment his lips touched Paisley’s, his fears vanished.
It felt right ...
He slowly grazed his lips against hers, giving her the chance to pull away—or accept the kiss. She didn’t reject him. Instead, she put a hand on his shoulder to steady herself. He took that as a good sign.
As much as he wanted to devour her, he kept things tame. Sweet. He hadn’t kissed a woman since Elizabeth. He couldn’t even recall what that had been like. All he knew was this woman interested him. Drew him to her in some inexplicable way. He would take his time.
Because he hoped something lasting might form between them.
His hands moved to frame her face, needing to touch her. His thumbs caressed her smooth cheeks, and for the first time in years, he had hope. Hope that he might move forward in his life and not be a hamster on a wheel, constantly in the same spot.
He brushed his lips against hers, breaking contact, and then kissing her again. He was desperate for a taste of her but hesitant to move to a more intimate kind of kiss.
His kisses became a little harder, demanding more from both of them. For a moment, it seemed as if Paisley hesitated, but by now, both her hands were on his shoulders. Her fingers tightened, and he felt encouraged to keep moving forward.
He couldn’t wait any longer. Need drove him.
Breaking the kiss, he allowed his tongue to sweep slowly along her full, bottom lip.
He felt her stiffen with this contact, but she didn’t pull away.
Instead, she leaned into him a little more, encouraging him.
He wondered what kind of relationships she had been in.
The depth of her feelings toward others who came before him.
But he pushed aside those thoughts now. If she didn’t want to keep kissing him, she would break the contact between them.
He outlined the shape of her mouth with the tip of his tongue, sensing the shivers running through her. Then ever so slowly, he ran the tip of his tongue along the seam of her mouth, urging her to open to him.
She didn’t.
Disappointment flooded him, but he understood that she wasn’t ready for what he offered. He kissed her lightly and as he started to pull away, surprise filled him.
Paisley ran her tongue along his lower lip, setting him afire. If this was what she wanted, he would let her be in charge. Set the pace. He opened to her—but nothing happened. She wasn’t denying his invitation, but she certainly wasn’t accepting it.
A thought struck him, one which was unbelievable and yet possibly very true.
Her hesitancy wasn’t due to wanting to cool things between them.
He suspected she had never kissed someone in such an intimate manner—and it was up to him to unlock the door to that new experience and show her the way.
Taking charge again, he pulled her toward him, his palms still cradling her cheeks, his tongue moving again, swiping along her bottom lip.
When she parted hers, he eased his tongue inside.
Her startled reaction let him know he had guessed correctly.
She stilled, much as an animal being stalked, thinking if it didn’t move, it wouldn’t become the prey.
But he saw her, this wonderful, beautiful, intriguing woman.
Sawyer swept his tongue along hers, caressing it. Desire exploded within him. She remained stock-still, as if she were assessing the situation. Then her tongue responded, moving against his, and the sensations running through him were like a flame racing at lightning speed.
They explored one another leisurely, taking turns.
She tasted unlike anyone else. Eventually, the slow exploration heated up, and they fought for control of the kiss.
By now, her arms were entwined about his neck, while his encircled her.
The heat of their touching bodies felt like two fires which had met and danced with one another, their kisses hot and passionate.
He wanted more. Much more. But small steps were obviously what Paisley needed. He gentled the kiss, giving her a series of soft, lingering ones before finally breaking contact.
Sawyer rested his forehead against hers.
They both breathed unevenly, worn out from their kissing and the intense feelings it had brought about.
Her body was still against his. Warm. Welcoming.
He was determined to give her as much time as she needed before he asked her to become more physical with him, but he knew what he wanted.
And Sawyer was a man who always saw his mission through until the end.
He raised his head, and she opened her warm, brown eyes. Instantly, he was drawn into them and the unique circle of amber which ringed them.
“That was some kiss,” she said softly, a hint of amusement in her voice.
“Yeah. It really was. Paisley, I need to tell you something.”
“No, I need to tell you something first.”
She wet her lips nervously, causing need to rise within him.
“I ... that was ...” She cursed, surprising him, because she had never done so before.
Her eyes misted with tears. “That was the first time I’ve ever kissed anyone, Sawyer.”
Shock reverberated through him. Yes, she had seemed inexperienced, but he had no idea he was the first to kiss her.
“Why did you wait so long to kiss someone?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I think a lot of it goes back to being a foster kid,” she explained.
“Not being loved. Not loving anyone. I learned to be very self-contained with my emotions. Keep my feelings inside, never letting them show. In high school, all I wanted to do was go to college, and I knew that athletics would be my route there. I studied like crazy and focused on my sport. Foster kids don’t go on dates, Sawyer.
They don’t have parents who buy them pretty dresses for homecoming or prom.
I kept to myself, my nose buried in a book when I wasn’t out on the court.
“College was the same. I spent most of my time around other women. Again, I focused on making myself the best point guard I could be, honing my skills. At the same time, I studied like a demon, wanting my degree, and was all-conference academic all four years. Twice, I was an all-American academic player. I was just as proud of that as any sports accolade I’d earned. ”
He wanted to interrupt and ask her questions, but she was opening up in a way he believed she never had with anyone else. Just like when they were in the car, and she had told him the story about the snake. Because of that, he kept silent, listening intently.
“I know you never played in the NBA, but the schedule for pros is brutal. Intense practices, followed by even more intense games. Then road trips where you’re gone ten days, moving from city to city.
You get home and try to get your body clock to adjust, all while you’re still attending meetings and practices and playing high-stakes games.
And that doesn’t even take into account the media coverage and what social media is spewing about you. ”
Paisley fell silent, as if she were exhausted just talking about everything. Then her gaze met his.
“After the WNBA season ended, I would go overseas and play in the European league, doing it all over again. I barely had any personal time for myself, much less an opportunity to meet guys and date anyone. I know you must think I’m a real oddball.”
He shook his head. “Don’t claim to know what I’m thinking, Paisley.
You’re way off-base. I can see you were dedicated to your sport and your studies.
You attained your goal of earning an athletic scholarship and graduated with your college degree.
Then you stepped up into the ranks of the pros.
How many women have done what you’ve done?
You focused on your priorities, which included being the best player at your position, leading your team to countless victories.
I don’t judge you because of that. In fact, I’m a little jealous of you.
Dating at any age can be confusing. I haven’t dated for years.
I threw everything I had into the law. Every waking moment was devoted to the case I was trying. ”
“But you have dated,” she insisted.
“Not as much as you would think. A little bit in high school. A little bit in college. Like you, I was more focused on basketball than anything or anyone while I was playing at UNT.”
He fell silent and made a quick decision he hoped that he wouldn’t regret.
“When I was in law school, I met a fellow student. A woman I fell in love with. We became friends and were in the same study group before we ever began dating our final year in law school. Elizabeth was amazing. Brighter than anyone in our class. Poised. Beautiful.”
Sawyer released Paisley, clasping his hands to steady himself as he spoke of the past, something he never talked about.
“We dated a few years and decided to get married. Our careers were devoted to opposite kinds of clients. I worked in the district attorney’s office, trying to bring criminals to justice.
Elizabeth was a public defender, named to represent those accused of a crime who couldn’t afford representation.
My job was to put them in prison. Hers was to keep them out. ”
“That must have been hard,” she said. “On both of you.”
“We both believed strongly in what we did. Our jobs were all-consuming, however. We decided sometime after we got married, we would open a joint practice.” He smiled wistfully. “Montgomery & Montgomery.”
“It has a nice ring to it.”
“We didn’t know exactly when we’d step away from our jobs and form our own firm, only that we would need to for our marriage to survive. Especially if we had kids. Kids need both time and attention. I had that from my folks. I wanted to be the kind of dad my own dad was.”
“What happened?” Paisley asked quietly. “It’s obviously you loved Elizabeth a great deal.”