Chapter 12 #2
“I did,” he confirmed. He swallowed, memories of that awful day flooding him again. But they didn’t hurt quite as much as they usually did.
And he had Paisley to thank for that.
He reached for her hand and laced their fingers together.
“Elizabeth was killed in a hit-and-run when she was out jogging early one morning. They never found who was responsible. That was a bitter pill to swallow.”
She squeezed his fingers. “It had to be. You loved one another. You’d planned a life together, and it was cut short.”
His gaze met hers. “I answered all my hurt by burying myself in work. For years. Then I finally hit my breaking point. I totally burned out. I didn’t care about anything. I knew to save myself, I had to make some changes.”
Sawyer paused. “That’s why I decided to return to Hawthorne.
I wanted a fresh start, but in a familiar place, a place where I had a support system.
I had family here. I didn’t associate Hawthorne with Elizabeth or my career as an ADA.
I was tired of living as a shadow of myself.
Elizabeth may have died seven years ago, but I acted as if I had died with her. ”
He looked at Paisley intently. “I’ve been healing in the time I’ve lived in Hawthorne. I enjoy my practice, but I know when to walk away from work. I’ve been able to cultivate friendships again. I finally started feeling like myself.”
Smiling, he added, “And then I met you, Paisley. You’ve given me hope that I can have a future.
I know it’s way too early to declare anything to you, but from the moment we met—on the phone—I came alive.
You interest me. You intrigue me. That’s why I’m hoping you want to explore a relationship together. ”
“I’m pretty broken myself, Sawyer,” she told him. “An injury undid the career I’d worked so long and hard for. I’ll admit that I floundered after it, trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’d never be paid to play basketball again, but I’ve found steady footing here in Hawthorne.”
She met his gaze. “Are you sure you want to get involved with someone like me? I feel I’m emotionally immature, especially compared to you.
In you, I see someone who has a lot of life experience.
A man who was deeply in love and had that love yanked away from him for no good reason.
I’m just a super-tall virgin who doesn’t know much about anything outside of basketball. ”
“Tell me if you’re not interested in seeing if there can be more between us, Paisley. If you do, I’ll back off right now. We can be friends. I enjoy being around you. I think it would be fun to watch games together.”
He watched her worry her bottom lip, fighting the urge to take her in his arms and kiss the life out of her.
“I don’t want to do that,” she finally said. “I don’t think I’m that interesting, but I’m way interested in finding out more about you. I don’t know if I could ever replace Elizabeth in your heart, but—”
“No,” he insisted. “I’m not looking for a replacement.
Yes, a part of me will always love Elizabeth.
Love what we had together. Mourn the fact that our time together was cut short.
But I’ve lived in the past too long, as well as ignoring the present.
I want to enjoy the present—and look to my future.
I want what my family and friends have, Paisley.
Love. Happiness. I want to build a home and life with someone.
The question is, are you willing to take a chance and see if that’s something we might do together? ”
Sawyer held his breath, waiting for her to answer.
“I would like to try,” she said softly, determination in her eyes.
Happiness washed over him. “That’s great to hear, Paisley. I expect total honestly between us, though. If it’s not working, speak up. Don’t keep me around because you feel sorry for me.”
A smile lit her face. “I could never feel sorry for you, Sawyer. I think you’re going to be teaching me a lot.”
He settled against the couch again, draping an arm about her as she did the same. For the first time, he heard the TV playing.
“I’m sorry I made you miss Team USA march out.”
She chuckled low, causing desire to pool in his belly. “You think I would trade my first kiss for seeing a bunch of strangers walk into a stadium thousands of miles from here? Maybe you’re not as smart as I thought you were, Montgomery.”
He laughed and reached for the remote on the coffee table in front of him. “Let’s back it up. I don’t want you to miss your friends and former teammates.”
Sawyer rewound to the moment Team USA entered the stadium. Paisley had him pause a few times, pointing out various athletes to him. He didn’t know the names she spoke of since he hadn’t watched basketball for a long time. What he didn’t hear was any sign of sadness or depression coming from her.
They finished watching the end of Team USA’s entrance, and she turned to him.
“I’m okay not being there, Sawyer. Because I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
Paisley’s hand went to his nape, and she pulled him down for a long, lingering kiss.