Chapter 30
Chapter
Thirty
SUGAR, PRINCE CHARMING AND SPECIAL brOWNIES
Neve
Sitting there I stare at the forms in front of me.
A 60% success rate. Affected risks include speech, balance, brain damage, paralysis, a stroke and more.
I hover the pen over the signature section.
I close my eyes, exhale and sign the forms. “Do it,” I say, sliding the forms across to the doctor.
She nods and slides another form to me. “What’s this? ” I ask.
“It’s a DNR form. Should the worst happen, we need to know if you wish for us to resuscitate her,” the doctor states softly.
“Are you insane? Of course you resuscitate her, she’s four!” I snap.
“I understand what you are saying, but if the worst does happen, it will be a decision for you to decide to switch life support off, if we are lucky enough to get her back,” she states.
“Fucking hell Doc, you are supposed to be reassuring me that my little girl’s life is safe in your hands and all you can talk about is her dying!” I snap.
“Miss Smith, please let me assure you that I just have to make you aware of every situation that may happen,” she explains.
“I get that this is a high risk surgery. It’s taken a lot for me to decide it was the best shot for Hope, so if you don’t mind I would rather keep what little bit of faith I have than think of different scenarios where I have to think of my daughter dead.
” I fume, standing and walk out of her office, slamming the door behind me.
I feel like I need air, like I can’t breathe. I hear Jack’s footsteps run after me.
“Hey, here, sit down.” He sits me down on the nearest chair, pushing my head down between my legs. “Deep breaths in and out. Slowly in, slowly out,” he repeats over and over, trying to help me get my breathing under control.
Eventually my breathing calms. “What if it’s the wrong decision? What if I have signed that and she doesn’t survive? It will be my fault. I would have killed my own daughter.”
“No,” he snaps firmly. “You do not think that way. You have made the decision because it’s what is best for Hope, because it’s what she wants.
You heard what she said. She never wants that medicine again.
You have done everything right, you don’t get to blame yourself.
Do you understand me? I believe she will come out of this operation and we will go to Disneyland and she will hug Stitch.
Just like she has dreamed. Now you have to believe in her,” Jack reminds me.
I wipe my eyes. “You’re right. Even though I will forever doubt myself. It’s what Hope wants. No matter what, I will make sure she gets to hug bloody Stitch,” I say with a smile.
Jack cups my face and kisses me, resting his head on mine. “I love you so much,” he rasps.
“I love you Jack. But I will never understand why you decided to stick around with me, with Hope, through all of this,” I state.
I see him get pissed and I press my finger to his lips to stop him.
“I know, I know, you told me why plenty of times. I know you love me and Hope. But this situation, it’s a lot for anyone to deal with and yet you still choose not to run as far away from it as you can.
” I smile. “What I’m trying to say is, you’re completely insane.
But thank you for not running, thank you for being a father figure to Hope.
I know we’ve never spoke about it, because well, this entire relationship is anything but normal.
But you have been more of a father to her over these past seven months. ”
“Eight and a half months. Actually nearly nine months.” Jack smirks.
I wave my hand in front of his face. “Whatever. I’m crap with dates.” I pause. “Shit, what’s the date? I ask panicked.
Jack looks at his phone. “July 1st. Why?”
“Oh god, it’s Hope’s birthday in three days and I haven’t bought her a single present!” I panic.
Jack smiles. “There is plenty of time. Come on, while your parents are watching Hope we can get some presents in.” He takes my hand and leads me outside to the car.
“Does this punch have alcohol in it?” Pearl asks.
“No, it’s a kids party,” I hiss.
“I can’t believe you invited Hope’s entire class, that little shit was horrible to her on her first day.” Bella pokes her tongue out to the boy that pushed Hope on her first day.
“They’re just kids and she hasn’t got to see them all for so long. She needs a little bit of normal. This is normal. A kid’s party with kids running around riot high on sugar just having fun,” I state as I lay out another platter of sandwiches.
“Erm, are they supposed to be punching the entertainers in the nuts?” Bella asks, looking to the other side of the hall. I look up and see the poor man that’s dressed as Prince Charming being whacked in the nuts with inflatable swords.
“Bugger. Jack!” I yell. He looks up from his balloon modelling and I point to the poor guy now curled in the foetal position on the floor. Jack gives me the salute that he’s on it.
“Excuse me, I’m guessing your Hope’s mum?” The mum of the little shit smiles.
I smile and nod. “Yes, that’s me.”
“Oh, I hope you don’t mind me asking, is any of the food not processed?” she asks.
“There’s sandwiches, vegetable sticks, a fruit platter…” I point out.
“Yes, yes lovely I see those, but are they organic and locally sourced? And he can’t eat wheat. He’s gluten free,” she states.
“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t realise he was celiac,” I apologise.
“Oh no, no, he isn’t celiac.” She smiles. “We just don’t eat wheat. It well, it bloats,” She says, looking down at my waistline and Bella’s.
I stare blankly back at her before I look at Bella who is doing exactly the same thing. “I know something that won’t bloat you,” Pearl says, reaching into her bag. Smiling, she pulls out her tub. Bella smirks.
“Here you go sweetheart, I made these especially. Their gluten free you see, my old stomach can’t take wheat. I also use oat milk, so they’re dairy free,” Pearl offers.
“Oh, that is just so kind. Little Alfie can’t have cocoa but I am feeling a little naughty. Do you mind if I have one?” she asks.
“Not at all my darling, you just tuck right on in there.” Pearl smiles.
We watch as she practically annihilates two of Pearls special brownies.
“Sorry. I’ve been on a bit of a health kick recently.
The spinach and anything green diet totally flushes out the toxins in your body.
Maybe you should try it with Hope, it could even cure her cancer,” she states, followed by a little giggle.
“Is that so?” I question with sarcasm and clenched fists. Bella holds my arm back, knowing I will swing for her if she mentions Hope again.
“Here, take another brownie. It’s a special occasion after all so let your hair down,” Bella says while shoving another brownie in the woman’s gob. The woman smiles and wanders off.
“Oh bloody hell, she is going to be off her tits. You’re only supposed to have one!” Pearl cackles.
Bella and I swing our gazes to her. “Then why the hell did you let me give her a third one then?!” Bella snaps.
“Because that bitch deserved it,” Pearl says, turning around and picking up the bowl of sweets. “Now which one is her snotty nosed brat?” she asks.
Bella and I point to him across the hall. Pearl smiles and takes the sweets over to him.
“You know you’re going to have to change schools after this right?” Bella points out.
I nod. “Oh yeah, I know but if we are going to be living at Jack’s place we will need something closer anyway.”
Bella’s head whips around to mine. “Since when was this decided and why the fluffing hell am I only just hearing about it now?” she asks.
I laugh. “Well, Jack asked me a while ago but we sort of paused it for a while until Hope’s situation is more stable. So all being well with the op, when Hope is back on her feet we will be moving in with Jack.” I smile.
Bella hugs me. “You told Hope yet?”
I shake my head no. “I figured we will just cross that bridge when we come to it.”
Bella poured us a drink from her special flask and she nudges me pointing. “Well I don’t think you’ll have any objection from Hope.”
I look up and see Jack holding Hope in his arms, dancing her around the dance floor. Hope’s laughter rings out across the hall. “Damn that bastard,” I mutter.
“Oh yeah, complete wanker,” Bella adds.
“The lights! The lights! Hide! They are coming!” the woman who ate the brownies shouts, running past us while swinging her jeans over her head. Her husband runs after her.
“Kelly, calm down!” he yells.
“Dad! Dad! Watch me jump off of this climbing frame!” his kid then shouts. The poor guy stops in his tracks and turns to see his kid jump off a ten feet climbing frame, thankfully landing on a crash mat. The dad runs over grabs his rabid looking son and runs out after his wife.
Pearl walks back over to us smirking with the bowl of sweets. “I almost feel sorry for the poor guy,” Pearl states.
“Yeah.” Bella and I both nod in agreement.
“Shall we let it out now?” Bella asks.
Pearl and I nod before we burst out laughing.