Chapter 13
TARA
After my team left on Saturday, I was surprised to see Jed crossing the cobbles. I’d been invited to a family meal at his parents’ house to celebrate Erin and Zack’s final night before returning to university tomorrow and I was meant to be seeing everyone there at seven.
‘Everything all right?’ I asked as I unlocked the door, concerned by Jed’s downcast expression.
‘It’s been a dramatic day.’ He stepped inside the café and gave me a soft kiss which sent my heart fluttering. ‘Aaron turned up this morning asking for his wombat.’
Jed had told me about his conversation with Aaron yesterday and I’d spotted the soft toy tucked under his arm when he’d arrived for work this morning.
‘That was quick.’
‘I think Wally was an excuse. He’s really interested in art but apparently Declan hates him drawing – presumably because of me – so he has to keep it hidden. He showed me some of his work and there’s talent there but he needs some guidance and he asked if I’d teach him.’
‘Oh, Jed, that’s fantastic.’ My heart filled with joy for him, but the downcast expression on his face told another story.
‘Ingrid stormed into the gallery just now, threw Wally at me and had a right go at me – usual stuff about him not being my son and me staying away from him. I’ll give you the full details later but one thing I discovered is that they’re not going back to Australia yet.
Aaron’s enrolled at a local school for the spring term. ’
‘You’re kidding! When was Ingrid going to tell you all?’
‘No idea. Lucy’s really upset.’
He glanced across the street and I followed his gaze to where his youngest daughter was locking the door to the gallery.
‘I’ll have to go but I wanted to give you the heads up in case there’s an atmosphere when you arrive later.’
‘If you’d rather I didn’t come, I can—’
‘I want you to come. You’re family now so this involves you. The girls adore you so, if you dipped out, it’d be another thing Lucy would blame Ingrid for and we could do without the added ammunition.’
Lucy crossed the street and I opened the door.
‘Has Dad told you?’ she asked, her voice cracking. The redness in her eyes didn’t go unnoticed.
I nodded. ‘I’m so sorry.’ I wanted to add I’m sure she was planning to tell you but, from everything Jed had told me about his ex-wife, I wasn’t convinced that was the truth. ‘If you can spare five minutes, there’s a rabbit upstairs who’d love a hug.’
It warmed my heart to see her smile. I handed her the keys to the flat and she left us to seek out cuddles from Hercules.
‘That was a genius suggestion,’ Jed said.
‘It’s awful seeing her hurt. I bet she’ll be a while upstairs so do you want to fill me in on the details now?’
We sat down at the nearest table and Jed told me more about the visit from Aaron this morning and the subsequent confrontation with Ingrid.
‘I’m careful not to say anything negative about Ingrid in front of the girls and I try to see her point of view and defend her when I can, but she doesn’t make that easy.
What can I say to defend her in this case?
She hasn’t seen Erin and Lucy since the start of the summer, she’s only arranged to see them once since she got here and she hasn’t told them she’s here till Easter. How do I defend that?’
‘You can’t and you shouldn’t have to. From what I’ve seen, they’ve got the measure of her already so, even if you did somehow find a positive spin to put on it, I don’t think they’d buy it.’
He sighed heavily. ‘Yeah, I think you’re right there.’
‘What are you going to do about Aaron?’
‘Exactly what I told Ingrid – give him lessons if he shows up at the gallery. If he wants me in his life, even if that’s just as an art teacher, I’m grabbing the opportunity with both hands.’
I knew how much it would mean to Jed to have regular contact with Aaron while he was here so I hoped Aaron would return.
Jed deserved the chance to get to know the boy he’d raised for six years and Aaron had a right to know that Jed had never turned his back on him.
The goodbye at Easter would be devastating but the time together would be worth it and I’d do whatever I could to support Jed during it and afterwards.
As Jed had anticipated, being kept in the dark about the length of Ingrid’s stay had caused unrest in his family.
Lucy had evidently recovered from her initial hurt – the hugs from Hercules helping immensely – and was now angry, clattering her cutlery, putting her drink down with unnecessary force and taking every opportunity to list all the ways in which their mother had let them down.
Erin was upset and confused. ‘I wanted to see her again before I returned to Newcastle but she kept fobbing me off. I thought she was going back to Aus and didn’t care about seeing me.’
‘That’s because she doesn’t care,’ Lucy quipped.
‘You know that’s not true,’ Jed said.
‘It is! You don’t need to defend her. We know what she’s like.’
‘I’m with Lucy on this,’ Erin said. ‘She doesn’t care about us because we’re not Declan’s kids and she’s always been that way – even way before we knew about him. All my happy childhood memories are about being with you, Dad. All my bad ones involve Mum.’
Lucy nodded. ‘Same here.’
‘You must have some happy memories of your mum,’ Janice said, her voice gentle. ‘You’re both hurting right now so it’s understandable you’d focus more on the negatives.’
The girls exchanged looks.
‘Mum was never around,’ Erin said. ‘Dad was the one who took us to after-school clubs and parties, took us shopping, swimming, to the park.’
Lucy nodded once more. ‘Most days out were just with Dad and, if Mum was there, she was always distracted. If I fell over, I wanted my dad, never my mum and she’s a nurse so what does that tell you?’
‘Dad read us stories at bedtime,’ Erin said. ‘He did crafts with us, played games, and never complained when we wanted to dress him up as a princess or a fairy.’
‘He let us paint his face and nails and cover him in glitter,’ Lucy said. ‘Baking, gardening, tidying our rooms – all done with Dad – and yet she had the nerve to take us away from him to live with that great galah.’
‘And sent us back when the twins came along,’ Erin added, her voice cracking. ‘Didn’t object when we told her we were moving to England, either.’
Zack put his arm round Erin and kissed the top of her head.
Jed was sitting beside me and I reached for his hand under the table.
He squeezed it tightly. Although the girls were full of compliments about him, I was fairly certain Jed would be focusing more on the criticisms about Ingrid and feeling the pain of the strained relationship the girls clearly had with their mother.
It couldn’t be easy to hear so much negativity directed towards the woman he’d once loved and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was blaming himself, thinking he could have done more to smooth things over but, from what I’d heard from them all, I don’t think there was anything more he could have done and I’d tell him so in private later.
What I saw was a man who had stepped into the role of mum and dad when Ingrid fell short, doing whatever he could to ensure his children didn’t miss out.
His approach was very like the one my dad had taken, making sure I still had a full and happy childhood even though Mum was often too ill to do things with us.
As I listened to Janice, Richie and Jed taking it in turns to remind the girls of some fun times they’d had involving Ingrid, I marvelled at the parenting skills they all had.
Even though Ingrid didn’t deserve their kindness, they recognised that she was still Erin and Lucy’s mother and that they could play a positive part in ensuring that relationship wasn’t completely destroyed, despite Ingrid seemingly doing her best to press the destruct button.
I knew that Jed had had a happy childhood and had always been really close to his parents, which had clearly influenced his approach to parenthood, but hadn’t Jed said that Ingrid’s parents were lovely people too and that she’d also had a happy childhood?
It therefore didn’t always follow that the child picked up on the skills of the parents.
I wondered what Ingrid was like around the twins because I didn’t get the sense that her relationship with Aaron was great.
Perhaps Ingrid was one of those people who shouldn’t be a parent.
I’d heard from customers how hard it could be and I suspected it was too great a challenge for some.
Would I have been a good parent? When I was a child, I’d always assumed I’d have children of my own but so many years of shutting myself off from relationships had taken that away as an option and I’d accepted going through life as a lone wolf. Except I’d now found my pack and my mate.
Jed and I hadn’t spoken about children. I knew he loved being a dad but the girls were all grown up at eighteen and sixteen.
Would he want to start all over again with babies, especially now that he was in his forties?
I was five years younger than him, turning thirty-seven in May, but was it too late for me?
Plenty of women did have children later in life but the odds of conceiving diminished with age and, of course, you needed to actually have sex to conceive a child.
I loved Jed with all my heart but I was so badly scarred by my past that I had no idea when I’d be ready to take that step.
I hoped I’d be able to because, if I couldn’t, there’d definitely be no babies in my future.