Chapter 40
JED
Pam rang on Wednesday morning following a telephone conversation with Ingrid.
‘She was surprisingly honest – admitted that things weren’t going as well as she’d hoped with Declan and she’s scared she stayed here too long and lost him.
She doesn’t know what to do for the best. I told her to come home, of course, but she said she couldn’t – not yet anyway.
She loves him and has to fight for him.’
‘It sounds like that’s a battle already lost,’ I said.
‘I challenged her as to whether he loved her and wanted her to fight for him and she admitted she wasn’t sure.
She’s usually so strong, decisive and opinionated but she sounded lost, Jed.
The upshot is that she wants more time – didn’t say how much – but I think she’ll be home soon, nursing a broken heart. ’
‘Did she ask after the kids?’
‘Yes. She said she was missing the twins.’
‘But not Aaron?’
‘Ingrid and Aaron haven’t seen eye to eye for a long time. I’m not saying it’s right that she mentioned missing the twins and not him but I’m not going to lie and make out she is when she isn’t.’
It should have been shocking to hear but Aaron had said as much to me already. Their relationship had broken down a long time ago and her confession and flit had been the final nail in the coffin.
‘Did she acknowledge the mess she left behind?’
‘Actually, yes. She said she regrets her rash exit but she panicked about turning forty and losing control of her life. This was what she felt she had to do to get control back and it looks like it hasn’t worked.
She knows she’s caused no end of stress and worry for us all and that she’s got a huge job ahead of her trying to repair the damage. ’
After the call ended, I wasn’t sure how I felt.
Was there a little part of me hoping Ingrid would work it out with Declan and stay in Aus without the kids?
I could hardly be blamed if there was because that meant I could continue being a dad to Aaron and even consider doing what Ingrid had asked me and raising the twins.
If we had to say goodbye to Aaron and those little girls, there’d be a lot of broken hearts in Whitsborough Bay.
That evening saw the reconvening of The Friendship Pod for the third time and a crafting session run by Tara to create needle-felted sheep.
I headed over to The Chocolate Pot an hour before to move some tables around and it was great to see Zoe downstairs and helping out.
Her bruises were fading and she looked a lot brighter.
Tara had messaged me to say that her gut feeling had been right about Zoe opening up and they’d had a heart-to-heart.
She couldn’t tell me any details as she hadn’t asked Zoe if that was all right but she could tell me that Zoe wanted to start working in the café next week and was interested in the gallery too so Tara and I needed to have a chat about the logistics.
She hadn’t mentioned anything to Zoe about the flat yet and would play that one by ear.
Carly had plans with Liam but her sister, Bethany, had offered to help. I hadn’t seen her for ages and had forgotten she was pregnant until Tara mentioned something about her not lifting heavy tables in her condition.
Anastasia and Colin arrived together but peeled off to talk to other people.
Drinks last week had turned into dinner, they’d seen each other most evenings since then, and were officially an item which had delighted Tara.
Anastasia had really wanted to do the craft but hadn’t been sure whether it was okay to keep coming seeing as she’d already found more than friendship from the group.
Tara and I had been insistent that finding a friend, romantic or otherwise, did not get anyone booted out.
Hopefully they’d still form other friendships by attending.
Bethany and Zoe seemed to be getting on well.
Tara told me that Bethany was nearly seven years older than Zoe but that she had one of those natural abilities to connect to people of any age.
I saw that in action during the break when Bethany moved around the attendees, easily opening up conversations then leaving them to continue chatting without her.
Zoe clearly wasn’t as confident but she didn’t look out of her depth either so, with some training and experience, I could imagine her being good with customers.
‘Fifteen tonight,’ I said, settling down at a table in the café with Tara after everyone had left and we’d cleared away. We’d normally have headed upstairs but we didn’t want to make Zoe feel like she was a gooseberry. There wasn’t anywhere to be alone in an open-plan flat.
‘Yeah, and some of them newbies. It’s a good number. I’d maybe like a few more but it’s going to take a while for word to get around and, of course, creating a needle-felted sheep isn’t for everyone.’
‘They all enjoyed it, though. Bethany looked well. I can’t believe I’d forgotten she was expecting.’
Tara sighed. ‘You know what struck me when I saw Bethany’s baby bump? She’s at a similar stage to Leanne – due a fortnight later. Bethany’s going to be an amazing mum but I just don’t see Leanne as one.’
‘Have you made a start on that email?’
‘I managed a first draft of the opening paragraph during my lunch break, but that’s it so far. I’ll hopefully find some time by the end of the week.’
‘Time?’ I said, raising my eyebrows at her. ‘Good luck with that!’
Time was in short supply for both of us at the moment.
It felt like we were seeing a lot of each other but very little of it was spent alone.
With us getting together so close to Christmas, we’d agreed not to give each other gifts as we wouldn’t have the time to go shopping for them.
Admittedly I’d deviated from that by giving Tara a couple of gifts that I knew would carry great meaning, one of which was a piece of artwork showing Hercules in a field of daisies – her birth mother’s favourite flowers – on a moonlit clifftop overlooking the lighthouse to pair with the one I’d given her the night we first kissed.
Both canvases were up on the wall in her flat either side of the log burner.
In lieu of gifts, we’d agreed to a weekend away in February or March.
‘How is it that we’re ten days from the end of March and we’ve got nothing booked?’ Tara said, shaking her head. ‘I have to admit, I’d forgotten about it thanks to everything that’s been going on.’
‘Me too. It’s not a good time now but we will do it at some point. I wish we could pencil in a date but I daren’t commit to anything while it’s all still in the air with Ingrid.’
‘From what Pam told you this morning, she surely has to come back soon. If it hasn’t worked out with Declan by now, she has to know it isn’t going to.’
I shrugged. ‘It goes back to that obsession thing we were talking about. I don’t think she’ll ever be ready or willing to let him go so I can’t shake the feeling that, if she does come back, it’ll only be because Declan’s rejected her and not because she’s choosing to be with her kids.
What sort of relationship is she going to have with any of them if that’s the case?
She’s already screwed things up with Aaron and it’s easy to say the twins are only three and they won’t understand but they’ll be four soon and starting school and, before you know it, they’ll be teenagers.
What sort of life will they have being with a mother who’s only with them cos she has nowhere else to be? ’
‘It’s not ideal but it’s better than her taking them to live in Aus. She told you herself that there’s nothing for her there without Declan so if they’re through, it follows that she’ll settle here.’
I thought about Ingrid’s exact words in the pub – I can’t imagine living in Aus but not being with Declan.
He was the only reason I went there in the first place.
Tara was right. There’d only ever been two outcomes – it worked with Declan and Ingrid abandoned her children to be with him in Australia or it didn’t work and she returned to the UK.
She’d battled with Declan and she was going to have to return to a fight with me because there was no way I’d stand by and let her treat those three incredible kids as though they were the consolation prize in her life.
They deserved to be her top priority and be lavished with love and, if she wasn’t willing to do that, there were plenty of people who were and I was right at the top of the list.