Chapter Fourteen
Roan
I t’s cold as fuck tonight, but I love it. Something about the way it numbs me to my soul, I can’t get enough of. Lately, everything hurts inside, and the bone-chilling is a preferable ache. People are everywhere. Each Friday night, probably half—the cool half—of the seniors show up. Everyone piles around one of the main cabins sleeping in tents and vehicles. Cal usually builds a big-ass bonfire that somehow reaches higher than the cabin and still manages not to burn the forest down.
Tonight feels different.
Rather than relaxed and happy in one of my few retreats in my world, I’m anxious. Unnerved. Jumpy. It has everything to do with the fact Hollis is planted on a log beside Sidney and Gio. While Sidney is a Campfire Chaos regular, Gio and Hollis are not. It’s as though the freaks have infiltrated our fun.
I could have said no.
I could have looked Kelsey in the eye and told her he wasn’t invited.
But she was so happy he was included. She wanted to keep Roux for the night. I just couldn’t do that to her. I may be an asshole to a lot of people, but unfortunately it seems as though Kelsey isn’t one of them.
Jordy bumps my shoulder with his and hands me a beer. I sip it, my stare never leaving Hollis. Snow flutters down but melts as it nears the heat of the fire. Even wearing my coat, heavy jeans, and boots, I’m still not warm.
“He needs to go,” Jordy mutters under his breath that reeks of someone hitting the bottle a little too hard tonight. “After everything he did…” He trails off, an angry silence finishing his statement.
After everything he did to me and Roux.
Problem is, he didn’t really do anything. Not directly. If anyone is to blame, it’s his mother. And I’ve already established how I feel about getting pissy with her. Hollis is just an easier target for blame. He practically begs for it. Like he’s a goddamn martyr.
“How is Roux?” Jordy asks before chugging his beer. “Is she sad?”
His question pokes a hole right in my heart. Jordy may be a lot of things—unhinged, psycho, mean—but he’s nothing but loving when it comes to me and my sister.
“She likes Mike’s place. Has a good view of some ducks.”
We both laugh.
Our laughter earns Hollis’s stare. I hold his eyes with mine as I continue to talk to Jordy. The heat of the gaze from the porcelain boy is hotter than the bonfire flames.
“It’s safe. One full night there and I could tell a difference, man. She’s not so tense. The haunted look in her eyes isn’t fully there.” I break Hollis’s heated stare to look at my best friend. “If a day away from that fuckface Alexander and my mom makes her feel that good, imagine what a lifetime will do.”
His eyes darken into demonic orbs that would scare the fuck out of anyone but me. I understand Jordy’s intensity. He loves violently. “You think they’ll ever pull some shit and try to get her back?”
I shrug. “She’s her mom. Right now, no. Mom is a skanky addict. So, legally, no. Now I wouldn’t put it past them to do some shady shit, especially Alexander.”
Jordy grips the back of my neck and pulls me to him, our foreheads pressed together. “He can fucking try,” Jordy growls. “But I promise you he’d die trying.”
Someone whistles, pulling us from our deep conversation.
“Carson got some roman candles,” Cal calls out. “Who wants to shoot shit off the bridge?”
He’s drunk as shit already.
Trey nods at me, understanding my concerned look. He’ll watch over him. That’s always been the deal. I look out for Jordy and he looks out for Cal. Someone has to keep those two assholes in line.
“Come on. Let’s go watch these dickheads blow their hands off.”
By the time we reach the pedestrian bridge that crosses the Horn River from the campground to a park area, the wind is howling and spitting hard pellets of snow and ice at us. The alcohol is no longer keeping me warm. I’ll need to somehow convince Sidney to get out of her Gio and Hollis sandwich so she can warm my sleeping bag up tonight.
Thoughts of Sidney riding my dick with her pert tits bouncing normally sends a spike of fire burning through me. Tonight, I feel nothing. I glance at her friend Wendy. The girl isn’t as giving sexually as Sid, but I know she’s given head to a few guys on the team. I bet I could get her in bed.
Sidney giggles, earning my attention. Gio is fucking with her. Flirting maybe. Whatever it is, she’s into it, grinning in a silly way I’ve never seen. Hollis watches with satisfaction. He’s dressed in his substitute teacher coat, but he’s wearing jeans and Docs. A scarf is wrapped around his neck and a beanie is pulled down over his head.
He looks warm.
I shudder against the wind, forcing my feet to remain glued on the bridge over the river rather than carrying me over to him, seeking his warmth. Despite the freezing temperatures, the river rushes by beneath us. Cal, the fucking idiot, shoots off several roman candles, not mindful of everyone around him.
One of the drunk guys named Tim, who almost took a firework to the face, pushes Cal. He and Cal get into a shoving match until Trey tackles him against the railing. The wood snaps off with the weight of their bodies. Both Cal and Tim land on the snowy wooden floor of the bridge, but don’t fall off. I start toward Trey as he grips the handle tight, but more parts of the bridge railing snap. He nearly goes over into the icy waters when Hollis flies out of nowhere, grabbing his coat before it’s too late. I freeze, shocked that he got him in time.
No way.
My heart hammers in my chest as Trey shakes Hollis off him and storms away from the edge. Tim stumbles away as Cal rises to his feet. Jordy and I approach Hollis.
Hollis’s gaze finds mine, seeking approval. Fuck if I don’t want to give it to him. He just saved my friend. He deserves something. A smile of thanks tugs at my lips. One his eyes drop down to admire. I lick my cold lips, loving the heat that races straight to my dick when his eyes widen.
I start forward, unsure what I want to do. Maybe I’ll tell him thank you. Maybe I’ll just hug him. My mind drifts to the fire station. How he ran his fingers through my hair. What if I pressed my cold lips to his? My dick is halfway to hard.
We’re so focused on each other that we don’t notice Jordy.
Swift. Angry. A storm.
“This is for Roux,” Jordy snarls.
I watch, horrified, as my best friend shoves Hollis off the bridge. The collective gasp from the group nearly rumbles the earth. I catch Hollis’s eyes before he falls over.
Not afraid.
Fucking terrified.
It haunts me to my goddamn soul.
I charge over to the edge seconds too late. I heard the splash but didn’t see it.
“What did you do?” I yell to Jordy. “What the fuck did you do?”
“Holy shit,” Cal gasp.
“I, uh,” Jordy stammers.
We all stare at the icy, churning waters, waiting for Hollis to come back up.
A hand.
One desperate grab for the surface, but an utter failure. It reminds me of when Roux fell in the public pool one summer when we were younger. Thrashed wildly before she sunk to the bottom and had to be fished out by a lifeguard.
Oh my fucking God.
“He can’t swim.”
My words barely leave my mouth before I dive off the bridge, dreading every second before my body hits the cold-ass water.
Icy hell.
That’s the only way to describe the way it feels the moment I become fully submerged in the river. My muscles all scream in agony at once, my bones stiffen in protest. It’s my lungs, though, that feel as though they’ll collapse in on themselves. I burst to the surface, searching for where he might have gone.
“There!” Cal bellows, pointing to something splashing nearby.
I swim blindly toward it, my body seizing from the cold. Fifteen feet away maybe. Swim faster, goddammit. I throw every ounce of power I have into swimming his way. The current is carrying us at a steady rate. If I don’t catch up to him soon, the waters will quicken and then dump us into the Columbia River. We may as well be dead then. The currents are much too strong in that river.
My fingers, stiff and aching, make purchase. A coat. I grab for it, but pull too hard. The coat yanks off into my arms. I sink under the water with the weight of it until I release it. Under the icy surface, I see a pale limb. Swimming hard, ignoring all my pains, I snatch the cold arm. I manage to get my arms around him and kick to the surface.
“Hollis,” I croak, my voice hoarse from the exertion and cold. “Hollis!”
No response.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Think, Roan.
I start for the shore, my mind reeling. He needs CPR. I remember the basics from what we learned in eighth grade gym class. It’ll have to do. My feet hit gravel and I drag us onto the banks. People can be heard hollering a distance back. I’m not worried about them. Just him.
Hot tears burn down my cheeks as I try to focus on reviving him. Fuck. I need to revive him. I don’t know that he’s breathing. My mind goes into autopilot, remembering Mr. Lancaster’s lessons. Pinch the nose. Tilt the head back. Breathe. Chest compressions. If he pukes, turn his head to the side.
Though my heart is frantic inside my chest, I focus on helping him. Remembering every lesson learned. I repeat my actions until he chokes.
Oh fuck.
He’s alive.
A garbled cry escapes me as I move his head to the side. River water rushes from his lips, followed by the most beautiful whine in the world. Music to my ears.
I’m so tired.
He starts shuddering, choked sobs coming from him, and all I can do is fall against him, desperate for warmth now that the chill from the air on my wet body is making me colder. Sleepiness hits fast. My eyes flutter closed until a bunch of voices surround us.
Gio.
He’s so loud.
Barking out orders left and right.
I’m lifted by Trey and Cal. Two other guys come for Hollis. I try to open my mouth to speak, but my teeth are chattering too hard. Sidney and Wendy both are sobbing hard nearby.
What the fuck just happened?
Where’s Jordy?
I grow dizzy and dazed on our journey. We’re led to someone’s Tahoe and then pushed inside. They drive like bats out of hell until we’re back at the cabin. Once more, we’re led inside.
“We should call an ambulance.”
“We can’t call this in.”
“Holy shit, we’re going to be in so much trouble.”
“What the fuck is wrong with Jordy?”
“Stop talking and get their clothes off?”
All the voices are talking at once. It’s confusing and maddening. I’m blinking hard trying to stay awake as Cal and Trey practically rip all my clothes off. Why are they getting me naked? It’s fucking cold. I glance over to see some guys from the team doing the same for Hollis.
His ribs.
I can see his ribs.
Why is he so blue?
“Don’t touch him,” I snarl, my voice but a whisper.
“We’re touching you because we have to get you warm,” Cal says, lowering me onto the cabin bed.
Not me.
Him.
Hollis.
“Get him in here too,” Cal instructs.
The guys lower Hollis into the bed beside me. It’s weird as fuck that we’re all naked. Cal’s body is warm though as he curls around my body. The other guy, Gage, is coming in behind Hollis. Trey and Gio are throwing blankets on us. It’s like some fucked up, warped wannabe orgy.
But no one is having sex.
Gage’s arm brushes against mine and I bristle. I don’t like the fact he’s in his fucking boxers, rutting against Hollis. I don’t care if it’s for warmth, I don’t like it. My arm slides around Hollis’s cold, limp body and I pull him to me.
His head turns toward mine. Blue eyes the same color as his lips now are glassy, but they assess me in a way that makes me think he’s okay. I try to get closer to him. I need to feel him—to know he’s alive. His cold hands find mine, clutching weakly. Cal is a wriggly fucker behind me but damn if I’m not enjoying every second of his warmth.
“Who ever knew we’d end up spooning and I’d be the big spoon?” Cal’s drunk ass breathes against my hair. “I know I’m taller, but you’ve always been the big spoon type. Wanna switch places?” He pinches my frozen nipple, making me growl in warning. “I’ll take that as a no, big boy.” The drunk fucker tries to bite my shoulder.
I manage to pull myself closer to Hollis. Our noses are cold as they touch, but I need to be able to feel his breath on me. To remind myself he didn’t drown. Everyone is loud around us—hell, even the two idiots in this little naked blanket fort—but it all kind of becomes muted as I focus on Hollis’s ragged breathing.
In and out.
In and out.
Alive.
So fucking alive.