Chapter Twenty-One
Hollis
Saturdays are officially date nights. For the past three weeks, Roux stays the night with Charlotte while Roan and I run off together. Mom knows. I know she knows based on the sly smiles she gives me. But since we haven’t come out to anyone, she doesn’t say a word about it. It makes me love her even more.
“You’re not listening to me,” Roan says, jerking me from my thoughts.
“I’m just tired.” Not a lie. I feel off. I blame it on my dad’s incessant calling.
He studies me from his position on his couch. All sprawled out and relaxed. Looking hot as ever. On his bare stomach is a plate of cheeses and crackers and grapes. Ever since I told him heavy foods make me sick, he keeps stuff I can eat on hand. I’ve probably eaten more in the last three weeks than I did the three months prior combined.
“Want to go to bed?” he asks, frowning.
“And miss this amazing movie,” I joke. “Not a chance.”
He picks up a cracker and a slice of cheese, assembling it before handing it to me. “I’m being serious. You’re pale as fuck and spaced out.”
Irritation prickles at me. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, and add grumpy to that list too.”
I chomp on my snack, rolling my eyes at him. My phone buzzes and it’s my dad. Again. I throw it across the room. It hits the wall with a loud thump before falling to the carpet.
“Definitely grumpy,” Roan mutters.
I flip him off. “I have nothing to say to him.”
He sets the plate on the coffee table and sits up. His coppery orbs assess me. I can never escape his scrutiny. The man sees right inside me. Most days, I love it. Other days, it’s annoying.
“I know how to cheer you up,” he says, a wolfish grin turning his lips up. His eyebrow lifts, drawing my attention to his piercing.
“You’re going to fuck me?” My body warms at his words. I can’t get enough of him, especially when he’s inside me, which is as often as we can manage the past three weeks.
He grabs the back of my neck to pull me to him for a kiss. “I was thinking you could fuck me.”
My dick wakes right the fuck up, straining in my jeans. “You’re not ready.”
“Bullshit,” he argues. “I’ve let you finger my ass nearly every time we’re alone. We’re ready for this.”
Not me.
Not him.
We are. Us. I love that there’s an us. Might be a secret us, but it’s better than no us.
“It’s going to hurt,” I taunt. “I’ll make you cry, little Roan.”
“I’m not little and you fucking know it, rat.”
“All I hear is ‘wha-wha-wha,’ rat lover.”
“Fucking asshole.”
“That’s where I’ll be in ten minutes,” I bite back at him. “Deep inside your ass.”
His lips turn up on one side. “Make sure you go bare. If you’re going to be inside me, you can come inside me, babe. I want you to.”
Babe.
All I heard was babe.
This guy owns my heart and I don’t want it back. He can keep it. It belongs to him.
“I thought you were worried, babe ,” I say, teasing him with the endearment.
“I’m negative. Finally got word back.”
“Holy shit. We’re really going to do this.”
“We really are. Now take off your clothes and suck my dick, pretty boy. I want to come at least once before you fuck me up with that big dick of yours.”
His words are tough because he likes being a hardass, but I don’t mistake the fear laced in them. Not letting him overthink, I start tugging down his sweatpants. He lifts his ass, to help in my efforts to undress him. His hard dick springs free, slapping against his stomach as I pull the pants off his body. I shed my shirt, loving how he devours me with his hot stare.
“You once called me high-maintenance, but you’re the needy boyfriend. Always needing your big dick sucked on,” I tease, kissing his lips before trailing my tongue down his chest. “I bet you want my fingers in your ass when I suck you off too. Greedy boy.”
He grunts, hunger flashing in his gaze. “Stop talking and start sucking.”
“Suck on these first,” I tell him, pushing my fingers into his mouth. “Get them nice and wet so I can stretch your asshole. My dick is big, man. You’re probably going to scream like a little girl.”
He bites on my fingers, a warning sparking in his eyes.
Not heeding his threatening looks, I grip his dick with one hand and then lick the tip. His hips buck up, desperate for more. I rub at his asshole with my wet fingertip and then push into him. He hisses at the intrusion.
“More,” he rasps out.
I suck on his dick as I offer him another finger. And then another. His body is putty in my hands as I fuck him with three fingers. It only takes a couple of rubs against his prostate before he’s crying out with his release. Hot, salty cum jets into my mouth and I swallow it down. I ease my fingers from his ass and then stand abruptly, eager for round two.
The room spins and I lose my footing. If it weren’t for Roan’s hands suddenly gripping my hips to keep me steady, I would’ve toppled over.
“You okay?”
“I’ll be better when I’m inside you.”
He stands and slings his arm over my shoulders, pulling me to his side as he guides me to his bedroom. Once we’re fully naked, he kneels on the bed.
“I want you to fuck me like this,” he says as he drops to his hands, offering his ass to me. “Claim me like I always claim you.”
“God,” I groan as I snatch up the bottle of lube from the bedside table. “You’re going to kill me with that ass. I won’t last long. Just so we’re clear. I’ve been dreaming about this for weeks, so I’m going to nut the second I’m inside you.”
He laughs. “Too much talk and not enough action.”
I lubricate my naked dick and then climb on the bed behind him. He shudders when I slap my length along the crack of his ass. Then, I slide the tip down the crevasse to his puckered hole. I keep my dick steady with one hand and grab onto his hip with the other.
“I’ll go slow,” I breathe. “Tell me if I need to quit.”
“Don’t quit.”
I smile as I breach the first rings of muscle with my crown. His body tries to force me out at first, but then I’m easily sucked into him thanks to the lube. Inch by inch, I bury my dick inside this beautiful, complicated man. Pleasure threatens to detonate inside me, ending this as quickly as it started, but I manage to keep hold on everything.
Don’t come.
Not yet.
Just a few more moments.
“Can I move?” My words are gruff and needy.
“Yes, please,” he rasps out.
Slowly, I ease out of him and then thrust back. We both groan. Dizziness washes over me. I thrust again, this time harder. My balls slap against his, sending chills running through me. His ass squeezes around my dick and he meets my next thrust when he pushes back against me.
Fuck.
Fuck.
God, this feels good.
I drive into him again, probably too hard, but his groans are the pleasure filled kind.
“Mine,” I murmur. “Mine.”
“Yes,” he hisses out. “Fuck, Hollis, you’re fucking me.”
I smile as I piston my hips again. Waves of delicious ecstasy crash over me. I hit him again and again with my thrusts. When he starts stroking his dick, it’s such a turn on that I lose control. I fuck him hard and quick, needing to claim him.
“Oh, fuck,” I cry out the second my nuts seize up. My dick throbs as jets of hot cum shoot inside him. No barrier. He gets every drop.
“Holy shit,” he groans. His ass milks me as the sound of him stroking himself makes juicy wet noises, indicating he’s found release again as well.
I slide out of him, staring in awe as my cum oozes from his red, battered hole. I want to run my tongue along the sore flesh and press my cum back into him, but the beautiful sight is stolen from me.
Black.
Black.
Oomph.
I blink away the heavy darkness to find Roan crouched over me. On the floor. How’d we end up here?
“What the fuck, Hollis?” he hisses. “What just happened?”
I squeeze my eyes shut as a wave of nausea strikes. “I’m going to puke.”
It takes everything in me to scramble toward the bathroom. I’ve barely made it to the toilet before I’m retching. First comes the cheese and crackers. Then, fuck, not again.
“Is that blood?”
My stomach clenches again, splattering more blood against the bowl. “Just go,” I croak out between gags. “Please.”
The sink runs and then a cold rag gets pressed to the back of my neck. Hot tears of embarrassment and self-loathing have more puke coming up. I can’t look at the blood. Not with him also seeing it. It’s one thing for it to happen when I’m alone, but with witnesses, it makes it all too real.
When I’ve emptied my stomach, Roan strokes my back with his fingertips and murmurs, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” I snap, hating the bitterness in my mouth.
“It’s not nothing.”
“It just happens sometimes. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fucking fine,” Roan snarls, rising to his feet. “Something’s wrong.”
I roll my eyes as I yank the cold rag off my neck to wipe my face off. My overnight bag is already on the counter, so I rise on shaky feet, flush the toilet, and then begin brushing my teeth. Roan starts the shower and before I can escape when I’m done with my teeth, he guides me under the hot spray.
“It’s not fine or normal,” he grits out, taking my face in his hands. “Why are you puking blood?”
“I don’t fucking know, okay? Just drop it.”
He shakes his head. “I won’t fucking drop it. You’re sick. You need a doctor.”
Rage swarms up inside me. I had a doctor. My dad. He fucked us up and now I have nothing. I don’t want a doctor. I just want to be left alone.
“Stop,” I bellow, shoving at him. “Just stop.” Tears well in my eyes before spilling down my cheeks. “Mom has enough to worry about. This will just be one more thing.”
Roan’s gaze softens and he pulls me to him, hugging me tight. His fingers run through my hair and he kisses my head as I cry under the spray of the shower. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I don’t want to know. I just want it to go away. I just want my mom to be happy. I just want to be with Roan and not have this other shit get in the way.
“Please go to a doctor,” he begs. “For me. Please.”
I nod and bury my face against his neck. He hugs me tighter. Truth is, every day feels worse on me. Whatever is wrong isn’t just going away. He’s right. I do need to get to the bottom of it.
We make it through the shower and manage to dress in our underwear before crawling back into his bed. He holds me in the dark like he has the power to fix me. I wish that were true.
“I have like two really good things in my life, Hollis, and you’re one of them. Please don’t take that away from me.”
His words hollow out my aching gut.
I’ll go to the doctor. Figure this shit out. If not for me, for Roan. He’s begging me and I won’t let him down. Too many people in his life have already done that. I’ll be damned if I’m another one on that list.