Chapter Twenty-Two
Roan
I love watching him sleep. It feels creepy and stalkerish, but I don’t give a fuck. He’s mine. If I want to stare, I’ll stare, goddammit. Before he wakes, his pale face is so serene. Like an angel. I feel like the devil who’s somehow managed to capture something he’s not supposed to have. Hollis is too good for me. I know this, but I don’t care. I’m greedy and selfish enough to keep him anyway.
His pink lips are parted and plump. It makes me want to kiss him. Morning breath and all. I drag my gaze from his pouty lips down his chest to his stomach. A shudder ripples through me. Last night was scary as fuck.
Blood.
He was puking up blood.
What does it mean?
A million horrible things flit through my mind, every single one of them resulting in them taking him away from me.
I can’t lose him.
I’ve never been so fully obsessed with another person like I am with Hollis. I want him to consume me. It’s the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I’m considering waking him with my mouth on his dick when someone bangs on the front door.
What the fuck?
“Stay here,” I grit out when Hollis’s blue eyes pop open.
I climb out of bed and walk into the living room. After I throw my sweats on, I answer the door, ready to kick Jordy’s ass if he’s busting down my door before noon on a Sunday.
It’s not Jordy.
Jesus fuck.
“Mom?”
She looks better than I saw her last, which means she’s trying. Sometimes she tries. Her long, dark brown hair has been straightened and glimmers with some glitter shit she’s sprayed in. Amber eyes that match mine and Roux’s have been done up with smoky eye shadow, black cat eyeliner, and thick black mascara. Her lips are painted a glossy pink. She’s obviously headed to work because she’s dressed like a typical stripper in tight-ass spandex shit. No kid wants to see his mom dressed like this.
“Hey, Roany,” she purrs, eyeing my living room with interest. “Did I interrupt you with your girl?”
It’s obvious with clothes littered in the living room, the two glasses on the table, and all the half-eaten snacks that I’m not alone.
Crossing my arms over my bare chest, I block the doorway. “You interrupted my morning. Yes. Now what do you want?”
She purses her lips and waves a manicured hand in the air. “I’m here for Roux, sugar.”
“No.”
Her eyes flash with fury. “You don’t get to ‘no’ me. You’re my son, and while you may be eighteen now, Roux is not. It’s time for her to come home.”
“Fuck no,” I growl. “How did you find us?”
She rolls her eyes. “Please. I know you two have been playing daddy with Mike for years. It’s the first place I came to be honest.”
“Leave.”
“Not until I have my daughter.” She narrows her eyes at me.
“She’s not here, Mom. Spending the night with a friend.”
Mom laughs. “Roux doesn’t have friends. Is she here?”
“She has friends,” I snap. “You’d know this if you weren’t fucking high all the time.”
“Look at me,” she bites back. “I’m fine. I’d fallen off the wagon, sure, but I’m fine now. I want my baby girl back home. You’re welcome to come back too, you know.”
“No, Mom. She’s not safe there.”
“Oh, please. She’s fine.”
“Alexander—”
“Just looks after you two like you’re his. Better than your worthless daddy who left me high and dry. Better than fireman Mike who thought he was too good taking on a woman with baggage. Joke’s on Mikey, though. Look where you two ended up anyway.”
I start to shut the door in her face, but she sticks her heeled foot inside before I can close it. “I want you to call her and get her here. I’ll wait.”
“No. She’s not going with you.”
Her face turns red with fury. “She is not your child, dammit. She’s mine. You’ve always acted like you were better than me. You’re not, you piece of shit. I’m the one who kept food in your ungrateful mouths. I’ve had to shake my naked ass for years to keep a roof over your damn heads. And this is the thanks I get? Screw you, Roan. You’re just like your fucking father. I want my little girl right now. Find her.”
“No, Mom,” I spit out at her.
“I’ll call the police.”
I stiffen, watching her features for any tell she’s bluffing. Fire blazes in her eyes. She’s not. Fuck.
“They’ll know you’re a fucking tweaker,” I threaten. “I’ll tell them.”
“They’ve known for years,” she says in a sickly sweet voice. “But they always let me keep you two. They know children belong with their mother.”
“Leave.”
“I will because I’ll be late for work if I don’t, but this isn’t over, Roan. Tell Roux to pack her shit because I’ll be back. I’ll bring the cops if I have to. You’ve been warned. Don’t make a fucking scene.”
She stomps down the stairs and over to Alexander’s beat to shit Maxima where he waits in the driver’s seat. How dare she bring that trash to my home? He watches me through the windshield, as he blows out a billow of smoke that clouds the car. Mom bitches to herself the whole way to his car. Thankfully, they drive away.
This isn’t the end, though.
I feel it in my gut.
Fuck.
“Are you okay?”
I swivel around to find Hollis dressed and sitting on the arm of the couch. A worried expression twists up his handsome features.
“No,” I rasp out. “I…she’s going to…I don’t know what the fuck to do.” I run my fingers through my hair and tug at the strands. “Fuck, Hollis. What do I do?”
“You can’t do this alone,” he says, standing and pulling me to him for a hug.
“What can you do?”
“Not just me. We’ll talk to my mom and Aunt Karen and Mike. We’ll figure something out together.”
My chest warms knowing I have other sane adults on my side.
“Okay,” I croak. “Let’s go.”
I’ve buried my face in my palms, overwhelmed as fuck. If it weren’t for Hollis’s gentle pats on my back, I’d go into a full-on panic attack. His touches are soothing. It’s enough to have me pulling my hands away to regard everyone allowed in this “family meeting” as Kelsey called it. She sits on the sofa, Roux cuddled up next to her. Mike sits on the other side of Kelsey, trembling with rage. Penny and Charlotte were sent to their rooms. Ms. Frazier sits in her chair while Hollis and I share the loveseat.
“I say we call her bluff and let the cops get involved,” Mike grumbles. “I don’t think they’ll side with her.”
Ms. Frazier leans forward in her recliner. “As long as there aren’t drugs in the house or visible signs of her using, they’ll make Roux go back.”
Kelsey’s lips thin out and she hugs my sister tighter. “Maybe we could talk some sense into her. Let her know Roux is safe and happy right now. Surely, as a mother, she knows she isn’t providing a safe environment for her children.”
I scoff and Roux shoots me a sour look. Our mother is selfish and doesn’t give a shit about our environment or well-being.
“You can’t talk sense into Miranda,” Mike says, voicing what both Roux and I are thinking. “I dated the woman in one of her rare ‘good’ moments and it was evident I couldn’t do a thing to help her or those kids because she was stubborn and wouldn’t allow it.”
“Me and Roan will run away,” Roux threatens. “If she tries.”
Ms. Frazier shakes her head. “Bad idea, honey. They’ll just find you and put you back. God only knows how unsafe that would be for the two of you. Always on the run. No food or money. Terrible idea.”
Roux pouts. I’m irritated that it’s no longer a viable option for us. When it was just Roux and me, I never thought twice about taking her. But Ms. Frazier is right. Not to mention, we’d be forced to leave everyone we care about.
I can’t leave Hollis.
Not now.
There has to be a better solution.
“We could just wait for her to get fucked up again,” I offer with a shrug. “It’s only a matter of time. Then, maybe she’ll back off.”
Ms. Frazier doesn’t chide me for my language. “And if she doesn’t?”
“I don’t know,” I admit grumpily. “We can’t leave, though. She’s right about that, Roux.”
Roux scowls at me. “Since when did that plan change?”
“Since we started connecting with people.” I wave around the room. “Do you really want to leave them?”
“No,” she admits sadly. “Kelsey and I were just planning my birthday party.”
I hate my mom so fucking much right now.
If only she’d leave us the hell alone, Roux could continue on with planning her fourteenth birthday party and I could continue on with my relationship with Hollis.
Secret relationship.
As though he senses my thoughts, he draws his hand away from my back. He’s respecting my wishes. I hate that we have to hide.
Do we, though?
Aren’t these people we can trust?
“I have a boyfriend and I don’t want to leave him,” I tell Roux, ignoring the burning stares. I’m worried that Hollis will be pissed at me for blurting that shit out. Instead, he takes my hand and threads our fingers together.
“No one is going to make you leave your boyfriend,” Kelsey assures me in her sweet, motherly voice. I believe her.
“Oh, my,” Ms. Frazier says. “I didn’t realize…I thought you two were friends…”
“Boyfriend?” Mike’s voice comes out gritty and confused. “What?”
I turn and meet his eyes. “Hollis is my boyfriend. We didn’t want to say anything, because I was worried about how that might impact my getting to keep Roux with me.”
Hollis’s thumb swipes over mine, comforting me with such a simple touch. “Everything he does is for Roux. I respect that.”
“But it shouldn’t be held against me,” I bite out. “So, fuck it, that’s the truth. No more hiding.”
Ms. Frazier nails me this time. “Language.”
“Sorry,” I grumble.
“Your relationship with my son has nothing to do with Roux’s well-being,” Kelsey assures me, squashing any self-doubt I have. “You’re allowed to be happy, Roan. And so is Roux. All we can do is strive to make that happen and pray for the best.”
Mike nods and pats Kelsey’s thigh. “She’s right. Just keep being kids and stay away. If she comes to the door, don’t answer. I don’t know that she’ll go to the cops, but there’s no way we can stop her. Our best bet is to hope she doesn’t.”
Kelsey invites Mike to stay for an early supper and Roux runs off to go see Charlotte. Ms. Frazier heads to the kitchen to start dinner. It’s freeing to hug Hollis to me and no one look at us funny. I was sure Mike would, but he didn’t seem to be bothered, just surprised.
“You okay?” Hollis asks, his hand squeezing mine.
“Not really.” I notice he’s trembling. “Are you okay?”
“Feeling dizzy.”
“Come on. You need to go lie down until dinner. I’ll walk you up.”
He doesn’t argue and clings to me as we go up the stairs. It’s another thing to worry about. Not only is my mom being a bitch, but my boyfriend is sick. As soon as he flops onto the bed, he passes out. I curl up next to him and pull out my phone to text Jordy.
Me: Mom came by trying to get Roux. Everything is fucked up right now.
He responds immediately.
Jordy: She can’t go back there!
Me: I know this, asshole.
Jordy: It won’t happen.
Me: I hope not.
Jordy: It. Won’t. Happen.
I wish I believed his words.