Chapter 16 #2
I cast a glance sideways. Ames has straightened in his seat, and he’s fixing his hair in the visor mirror.
“And?” I prompt.
“ Annnnd Perky Halloran was there and said it was so sweet that you’re taking care of me and I’m lucky to have such a good friend . Especially when you’re dealing with your breakup from Lissa .” He huffs out a breath. “I should’ve known this would happen.”
“Amesie…” I shake my head. “Baby, what’s happening exactly?”
“They know ! They know you and I are… that we…” He thrusts out a hand and waves it around like he’s hoping the words will materialize by magic. When they don’t, he finally says, “Are fucking around.”
“Ya think?” I scratch my cheek. “You and I have spent nearly every waking minute together for years, so I really doubt?—”
“But we weren’t fucking around then, Rob! There’s been a disturbance in the force, and Winsome feels it . Trust me, if you’d been at Watchfire just now, you’d agree.”
I rub my lips together. Ames is the most levelheaded person I know… usually. I probably shouldn’t be so amused that he’s upside down over this, but I am.
I’m also a little… okay, a lot… turned on by his reference to us fucking around. My sexual attraction to him is like a fire hose that’s been cranked fully on.
“Which is why tonight we need rules ,” he goes on, turning in his seat to face me. He’s using the authoritative voice he gets when he’s freaking out and trying not to show it. “Very firm, unbreakable rules.”
“Rules.” I nod, trying to hide my stupid-for-him grin. “Sure. ”
“My family can’t know about… anything, Robbie. If they find out you and I are… they’ll turn it into a whole thing . They’ll think we’re together.”
“And that would be bad, why? I love them. They love me. They’d probably be really happy?—”
“Exactly! But we’re not together. We’re enjoying ourselves. We’re seeing how things go. We’re… we’re helping you figure out what you’re into. Right?”
I take a deep breath. I want so much more than that, and he knows it, but I know better than to push Ames when he’s not ready. And I promised him patience.
“Sure.”
“Okay, then. We need to act normal. Just… regular Ames and Robbie. No touching like a couple. No kissing whatsoever. Definitely nothing more than kissing.”
“Damn,” I mutter. “Kinda ruins my plan to announce my bisexuality and then eat you out on the kitchen table, but I guess I can restrain myself if you?—”
“Robert!” Ames raises a hand to clutch his nonexistent pearls. “Where did you…? When did you…?”
“Learn about eating someone out? Tossing their salad? Rimming them ?” I can’t keep the laughter out of my voice. “Oh my god. Are you serious right now?”
“There will be absolutely no salad tossing or discussion of salad tossing,” he says firmly. “I mean it.”
I merge onto the main road. “I know you do.”
“And you can’t look at me either,” he says with total seriousness.
I hold a hand up to my face to block him from my view. “Smart thinking. If I walk around like this, no one will suspect anything strange is happening.”
He laughs too, albeit reluctantly, then grabs my hand and holds it in both of his against his chest. “I meant no looking at me the way you’ve been looking at me for the past week. Remember, my family are like bloodhounds. They can smell sex from a mile away. But if we just act normal?—”
I burst out laughing and turn my hand to lace our fingers together. “Ames, chill. We’ll act like we always act. And they’ll see what they’ve always seen. I promise.”
Ames doesn’t look convinced, but he drops it.
The truth is, I’m not worried. Let them figure it out. Let them know.
I’m not hiding how I feel about him. I’m done hiding altogether.
Vivian pulls me into a hug before I’m even through the door. “Robbie, sweetheart! How was it, going back to work?”
“Tiring,” I say honestly. “But good.”
This is true.
I’d been so ready to get back to the station, it hadn’t even occurred to me that the fire at the mill would be riding with me.
But on my very first shift back, we’d caught a house fire, and for one sharp, panicked moment as black clouds had rolled out of the upstairs window, I’d remembered Ames running into the smoke ahead of me.
My training had taken over. I did my job. And the “fire” turned out to be a pleather chair smoldering under a curling iron rather than a giant blaze, but it had been a tricky few minutes.
That memory had been fresh in my mind during my disciplinary hearing for Greene the following day.
He’d been incredibly apologetic and begged for a third chance, but I’d stood firm.
His behavior had endangered my crew, and he wasn’t ready for the responsibility.
Maybe he could come back in a few years after he’d matured a little.
I love that Vivian cares enough to ask.
“I’m glad.” She cups my face and recites her usual advice. “I hope you’re careful out there and take care of my baby.”
Ames, who’s already in the front hall, shucking his jacket, snorts loudly. “Why’s he always your baby in this scenario?”
“Because I’m her favorite,” I shoot back.
“Asshole,” Ames mutters.
“Language!” Vivian warns before pulling Ames into a gentle hug. “And it’s good to see you up and about, sweetie.”
The kitchen’s already full when we get in there. Griffin’s pushed back his place setting and has his laptop perched on the big farmhouse table, showing something to Eliza.
True’s petting Greta the dog while listening to Griffin and Eliza. Beckett’s explaining something to Eliza’s fiancé, Luis, about the correct way to lay tile flooring—a subject he seems to have very strong opinions about, though I’m pretty sure he’s never done it.
Holden’s looking at something on Wilder’s phone while cramming garlic bread into his mouth—at least until Vivian shoos him away from the bread and threatens him with her slotted pasta spoon.
Grant’s sitting at the head of the table with his crossword puzzle, mostly tuning everyone out… at least until he glances up and sees me standing by my chair.
“Robbie,” he says with a nod. It’s a single word that’s hello , and glad to see you , and thank you for saving my boy all at once.
“Grant,” I say as I take my seat, and I know he hears hey , and same , and no need to thank me, ’cause I love him too .
“Okay, five minutes to dinner,” Vivian announces. “Everyone, wash up.”
All the Axfords grumble as they march one by one to the kitchen sink or the hall bathroom, muttering about not being children, for god’s sake. But none of them disobeys because the threat of missing out on Vivian’s garlic bread is real.
Personally, I love this ritual. Vivian can mother me all she likes.
When we get back, everyone takes the same seats they’ve sat at for a dozen years, more or less.
The spots in the middle of the table shuffled around a bit while True got married, then again when his wife left, and once more now that Beckett found Griffin and fell head over heels.
My place at the far end, next to Ames, hasn’t changed…
Though it sure feels like it has.
Ames’s shoulder brushes mine when he takes his seat, and both of us freeze. When he finally leans over me to look at a picture Wilder’s showing him, all I can smell is his shampoo—which is actually my shampoo today. I’m hyperaware of every breath he takes.
I know Ames feels it, too, because he leans in and whispers, “Act normal, remember?”
Right. Normal. I can do that.
“Loved your presentation, Griffin. Really, really good work,” Eliza says. “God, the tourism committee must be thanking their lucky stars that you ended up in Winsome, huh?”
Beckett sets down a Coke at Griffin’s plate. “Lots of us are,” he says gruffly, grabbing Griffin’s neck and turning his head to press a kiss to his lips.
There’s nothing sexual or unusual about this, but Ames shifts in his seat anyway like he’s imagining he’s the one being kissed… which I understand, since I’m imagining I’m doing the kissing.
“ Normal ,” I remind him in a singsongy undertone, and he kicks my ankle.
“How’s the arm healing?” True asks Ames. “You taking it easy?”
“More or less,” Ames says. “I’ve been doing back office stuff and supervising in the kitchen at Watchfire. But I needed to get back to work. I was dying of boredom after two weeks on the couch.”
“Please,” I scoff. “That couch has barely seen you. All it wants to do is love you, Ames, and you won’t let it.”
“That’s a lie! I did nothing but sit around?—”
“This week he hung paint swatches in my mudroom one-handed,” I tell the table. “And crafted a bay wreath for the door. And alphabetized my spice cupboard.”
Ames blushes. “Pfft. It was already mostly alphabetized?—”
“From the last time you did it.” I grin. “I didn’t remember I had a spice cupboard, Amesie.”
Everyone laughs… at least until Vivian sets out a giant bowl of spaghetti and a platter of chicken parmesan. Then they shut up and attack like raptors.
When the platters get passed to me, I dish up a huge serving of pasta for myself and a much smaller one for Ames, who prefers his carbs in bread form. I put three pieces of chicken on my plate.
“Wilder, I wanna hear about your trip,” Ames says, accepting the garlic bread from True with his good hand. “Did you go through Wyoming on your way back?”
Wilder nods while he chews a huge bite of pasta. “Yep. Not all the way up to Yellowstone this time. Still too early in the year. But I spent some time in the Tetons. And oh my god, I met the funniest guy?—”
While Wilder tells us his story, I cut half the chicken into bite-sized pieces and put it on Ames’s plate without making a big thing of it since I know he hates not having full use of both hands. He gives me a smile of thanks and hands over the piece of garlic bread he snagged for me.
I notice Beckett smile at me from across the table, and I smile back automatically.
The conversation shifts to Eliza and Luis’s wedding planning.
“Robbie, when you and Lissa were engaged, where’d you look for tuxedos?” Luis asks.