Chapter Seventeen
“How set are you on us breaking up by New Year’s?” Riley asked when he saw Letty again. It was probably a mistake to bring this up, but he felt like it needed to be said.
Letty looked puzzled. “That’s what we agreed on.”
“No, that’s what you decided. That was never what I wanted.”
“Why bring this up now? We’ve still got plenty of time—”
“Nine days isn’t plenty of time.” She looked torn and it irritated the hell out of him. “Can you at least think about it?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to lead you on.”
“I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself. Just tell me you’ll think about it.”
“All right.”
“Great.” He swung her up in his arms and started for her bedroom.
“Riley! What are you doing?”
“I thought that was obvious. I’m taking you to your bedroom so I can make love to you.”
“Don’t you have to go home?”
“This is the first time I’ve been off the ranch other than to get supplies since my mother went into the hospital. She’s better, Jasper’s with her, there’s a night nurse coming, and I’m going nuts here not being with you.”
She put her arms around his neck and kissed him. “I miss you too.”
“Thank God,” he said and tossed her on the bed.
He took it slow and steady, building her up and allowing her to come down, nothing like as frantic as it had been in the tack room.
They managed to undress, and Riley took the time to make sure she climaxed, touching her and kissing her in all the spots he knew drove her wild.
Of course, it drove him wild as well. Going slow, not talking when he wanted to claim her, to make her admit she felt more for him than just having a fun time, over almost as soon as it started.
But he was already pushing his luck, asking her to think about extending their ‘fling.’ He’d thought he had plenty of time to convince Letty that they could be together.
But then his mom got sick and he’d hardly seen her.
And when he had seen her he’d been stressed and busy, and his dad had been being an incredible pain in the ass. Not very romantic, that.
He was becoming less sure by the day that he could convince Letty to give them a chance. And if he couldn’t, damn, he didn’t even want to think about that.
*
What was she going to do about Riley? Letty had promised to think about not breaking up at New Year’s, but the problem was, she didn’t really want to break up. It would be easy to say, sure, we don’t have to break up. Yet she knew if she kept seeing Riley that she would fall for him.
Like you haven’t already.
Even so, all of her reservations were still present.
What if she fell in love with him and he didn’t feel the same?
Or what if he did and then something happened?
Something like one of them fell out of love.
Or one of them was hurt, or worse died. She didn’t want to live through that again.
Losing her parents had made her hyper aware that bad things could happen.
She’d considered a longer relationship once with Kyle, the worthless cowboy.
She should have known better. For one thing she knew she didn’t love him.
Not as her parents had loved each other.
She reasoned that maybe she could stand to lose someone she cared about but didn’t love.
Which, she admitted, had been wrong. Or maybe nothing bad would happen and she could live with that.
But then he showed his true colors and she knew he wasn’t worth it.
She knew Riley wasn’t like that. There was so much to like about Riley and damn little to dislike.
He was loyal, hard-working, smart, loved his family, his ranch, and his animals.
Lord knew he was good-looking. Not to mention, the sex was amazing.
But none of that guaranteed the relationship would last or that if it did tragedy wouldn’t strike.
And to lose him if she truly loved him, she couldn’t bear.
Look at Lorraine. She’d gotten ill when no one expected it.
They’d all thought Jasper was the one they had to worry about.
Then Lorraine had gotten pneumonia and as far as she could tell things at the ranch were a mess.
At least Jasper had relented about the nurse and even allowed a night nurse a few nights a week.
Christmas was the day after tomorrow. Riley had asked her to come to the ranch.
She knew Mercy, the Fletchers’ housekeeper, would cook a nice Christmas dinner for the Fletchers but since Lorraine was still being careful about exposure to germs, they were limiting dinner to Jasper, Lorraine, Riley, and her.
Val had told her that her family wouldn’t be there since, as she put it, kids were petri dishes for all kinds of diseases.
Tomorrow, she planned to visit Val and family and hoped Riley would be able to get away as well. While she was deciding what to do about seeing Riley, he called.
“Hey, want some company tonight?”
“Really? You can get away?”
“Planning on it. My ranch manager is going to be around until late. So even though I can’t stay overnight, I won’t have to rush home. Want to get some dinner?”
“Okay. Where?”
“I’ll see if I can get a reservation at Rocco’s. If not we’ll figure out something else.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you later.”
*
Riley didn’t eat at Rocco’s often. If he ate in town it was usually at Grey’s or the Main Street Diner.
But Rocco’s was special. Romantic, quiet, good food, dimly lit, candles on the tables, classical music playing, beautifully decorated.
It wasn’t really his type of place, but he wanted to take Letty somewhere special.
He’d already told her he didn’t want to break up after New Year’s. She hadn’t really answered.
He knew he should probably leave it alone.
But damn it, he was in love with her, and he didn’t believe she didn’t love him too.
Even if she wouldn’t admit it. Maybe he should wait until after Christmas.
He’d bought her a beautiful necklace. Her birthstone set in a circle of tiny diamonds.
She would probably freak over it but she’d have to deal with it.
He really wanted to give her an engagement ring but it was way too soon for that.
Especially since she still hadn’t said whether they were breaking up or not.
“You look beautiful,” he told Letty when he picked her up. She wore a red dress that skimmed her figure and stopped well short of her knees.
“Thanks. You clean up nice too.”
He was wearing dress slacks and a button-down shirt under a blue sweater he hardly ever wore but he’d been told before it brought out the color of his eyes so he figured it wouldn’t hurt.
The hostess led them to a small table in a corner. Letty ordered a glass of white wine, and he ordered a beer. He’d thought about having wine with her but the only alcohol he really liked was beer and he didn’t drink a lot of it.
“The library is closed for Christmas and the day after,” Letty said.
“Good. I might be able to come over the day after. My parents are happy you’re coming for Christmas dinner. Mom is depressed since she can’t see Val, Liam, and the baby. The doctors still don’t want her around a lot of other people, especially kids.”
“Your poor mom. I’m sure it kills her not to see Vivian at her first Christmas.”
“Do you ever think about it?”
“Think about what?”
“Having kids.”
The waitress chose that moment to take their order—lasagna for him and chicken Parmesan for Letty. Once they’d ordered the subject changed. Just as well, Riley thought. Judging from her startled—or was it panicked—expression, he wasn’t sure he’d have liked her answer.
He’d planned to give her the present at dinner, but he decided to wait until they were back at her apartment. For whatever reason, he was nervous about her reaction. He suspected she’d refuse it, at least at first.
“I have your Christmas present,” he told her once they were sitting on her couch.
“It’s not Christmas yet.”
“I know but I don’t want to wait.” He got up and pulled the long, slim jewelry box out of his coat pocket. “Merry Christmas.”
“Riley, you shouldn’t have done this.”
“You don’t even know what it is.”
“It’s jewelry. You don’t need to buy me jewelry.”
“Relax. It’s not a ring.”
“I can see that.” Reluctantly, she opened the box. He heard her suck in her breath and she simply stared at it. “It’s beautiful.”
“It’s your birthstone.”
“I know. This is so sweet of you.” She closed the box and handed it back to him. “But I can’t accept it.”
“Why not?”
“You know why. It’s too much. It’s not—It’s not a gift you give to a woman you’re having a fling with.”
“Is that what we’re having? Because that’s not what it feels like to me.”