Chapter Twenty-Five
The next time Letty saw Bonnie at the library she did a double take. Bonnie was generally a happy person but this time she was glowing. “Bonnie, what happened? You’re—you’re glowing!”
“I’m in love,” Bonnie announced.
“In love?” Letty repeated. “With who?”
“Norm, of course.” She pointed to a table where Norm sat. “Isn’t he lovely?” She sighed dreamily.
Lovely? He wasn’t bad-looking for an eighty-something-year-old man, but she didn’t think lovely described him. “When did that happen? I thought he annoyed you because of the books.”
Bonnie waved a hand. “Oh, he did at first. Even so, the day after our first argument I woke up and I’m telling you, Letty, I’ve never felt more alive.
The more we got to know each other, the more fun we had.
We talked and talked about books and well, everything.
And we fell in love. I never thought I would.
In eighty years, I never have. Until now. ”
“That’s wonderful, Bonnie. I’m very happy for you.” It seemed odd to Letty that an eighty-year-old woman would fall in love after all this time. But she was obviously happy. Delirious even.
“Thank you. Norm is a widower. He lost his wife a long time ago. He said he never expected to find another woman he wanted to be with for longer than a date or two. Until me.”
“That’s so sweet.”
Bonnie nodded enthusiastically. “And guess what else? We’re getting married.”
Letty’s eyes almost bugged out. “M-married?”
“Yes, isn’t it marvelous? You’ll come to the wedding, won’t you?”
“But you—you—” She couldn’t continue. Bonnie had always been so happy in her independence.
“You’re thinking about what I said about being happy alone. I was. Then I met Norm, and we had that argument over Jane Eyre.”
“I remember. Aren’t you worried about losing your independence?”
“No. We’ll work it out. Now that I’ve met Norm and we fell in love, being alone doesn’t seem so great. I’ve missed out on so much that I never even knew I was missing.”
“Aren’t you scared something will happen to him?”
“You mean because of our age? Well, of course something will happen at some point. But every minute we have together, even if it’s only a day, will be worth it. To experience love…there’s nothing else like it.”
She was right about that. Even though Letty had tried her best not to fall in love, she’d failed.
She couldn’t admit it to Riley, but she was head over ears in love with him.
And she was very much afraid she always would be.
She missed him so badly, it was an empty hole in her heart.
She’d never felt so alone as she had since she and Riley broke up.
When Riley left without a word the last morning after they made love, she’d known what they had was well and truly over. And she was miserable.
True, he’d brought her Babette. And while it was thoughtful, it was just like Riley to do something so sweet and expect nothing in return. He hadn’t done it to try and get back with her. He’d done it because he was worried she’d be lonely.
So why did she think living without him was going to work?
Would it really be better to lose him now rather than be with him and trust she wouldn’t lose him like she had her parents?
And even if something did happen to him, wouldn’t it be better to celebrate the time they had together? However long or short it was?
Bonnie certainly thought so. Who was to say she wasn’t right?
*
Letty dreaded seeing Val again. She hadn’t really talked to her since Val had told her she’d ‘broken’ Riley.
She knew her best friend didn’t understand why she and Riley broke up.
She wouldn’t, no matter what Letty told her.
Val knew how hard it had been for Letty to lose her parents.
Of course she did, since Letty came to live with the Fletchers shortly after that.
But even Val didn’t understand the crippling fear she had about losing the person most important to you in the world.
It didn’t matter that Letty had warned Riley before they even got together that she wasn’t interested in more than a fun fling. Val had only seen that her brother was hurt and her best friend had been the one to break his heart.
But his heart wasn’t broken. He’d get over her. She refused to believe he wouldn’t. Of course, thinking about Riley with another woman was horrible. She’d really screwed up.
She hadn’t seen Val in days and hoped she could put it off for longer.
Luck wasn’t with her though. That afternoon Val came into the library and demanded Letty take a break and go get coffee with her.
When Letty claimed to be too busy, Val said, “I’ll wait.
” Val took a seat at a table near the front desk and glared at Letty until she gave in and asked someone to cover for her.
Letty bundled up. It was cold today, so she put on her coat, hat, gloves, and wound a muffler around her neck.
“We won’t be outside that long,” Val said, looking at her disapprovingly. “The Java Café isn’t that far.” She wasn’t even wearing a hat, but then Val had always been more impervious to the weather than she was.
They got their coffees and found a table in an out-of-the-way corner. “You might as well take off your coat. We’re going to be a while.”
Letty did as Val suggested, then decided to confront her friend head on. “If this is about me and Riley—”
“You bet your ass it is. I can’t believe you two haven’t gotten back together. Why? I know you still care about him.”
“Technically, Riley broke up with me.” Yes, she’d told Val that but apparently Val hadn’t heard her.
“I don’t believe you. He’s madly in love with you.”
“Well, it’s true.” Feeling guilty, she added, “But it was my fault.”
“Why? What did you do?”
Damn it. She was going to have to tell her. “When we started dating we agreed we’d only date until the holidays were over. It was a fling. A holiday fling.”
Val stared at her. “But you fell in love.”
“Neither of us was supposed to. I told Riley from the first that we weren’t going to be permanent. And he agreed.” But had he? “Sort of. He said he’d still try to change my mind.”
“Did he?”
“He tried. I didn’t change my mind. I couldn’t. But I fell in love with him.”
“Then why break up? If you love each other—”
“It’s not that simple.” She drew in a breath, trying to think how to explain her feelings to Val. “Do you remember what it was like when I lost my parents?”
“Of course. That’s not something you forget.”
“I was devastated. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over it.
I never really did. I lost the two most important people in my life.
I can’t go through that again, Val. I thought I could.
I thought about it before Riley. But I just couldn’t do it.
I’m too scared of what would happen if I lost him.
So that’s why I said we could only date until the holidays were over. ”
“Why would you lose him? You’re both young and healthy.”
“Accidents happen. Besides, you’re being rational. My feelings aren’t rational. I know that.”
“Have you explained this to Riley?”
“I’ve tried. I don’t think he understands.”
“You two need to talk. It doesn’t make sense that you love each other yet don’t believe you can be together.”
“I don’t think it will help.”
“You won’t know until you try. And don’t give me flak about you’ve ‘tried.’ Try again.”
How was she supposed to do that when they were both busy avoiding each other?
“Letty? I know you think that you can call things off and eventually you’ll be fine. And you might be. But Riley won’t be. He’s never been in love before, because he never found the woman he wanted to spend his life with. Until you. So think about Riley’s feelings.”
*
Riley was working in the barn when he heard the dogs freak out. The horses sensed something as well. A few moments later he heard, “Yes, babies, I missed you too,” in his sister’s voice. No wonder. All the animals loved Val and as far as he knew she hadn’t been by recently.
“Hey,” she said and stopped to pet the nearest horse and give him a carrot.
“Hey. If you want to be useful, I have some stalls that need mucking out.”
“Thanks! I’ll pass.” She continued petting the horses and giving them food without saying anything else to him.
She had a reason, and he knew what it was. He also knew he damn well didn’t want to talk about it. But his sister was tenacious so he mentally shrugged and went back to taking inventory of the tack that was out in the barn rather than the tack room.
“Riley, can I talk to you?”
He stopped what he was doing and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’d rather you didn’t.”
Of course she ignored that. “What happened with you and Letty?”
“You know what happened. We broke up.”
She made an impatient gesture. “I know that. But why did you break up? I know you love her.”
He picked up the broom leaning against the wall and started to sweep the flagstone walkway. “Doesn’t matter. She’s convinced we can’t be together.”
“Do you know why?”
“Nothing that makes any sense to me. Something about not being able to stand the thought of losing me. Of course, I pointed out she was losing me right now but that didn’t seem to matter.”
“She’s in love with you.”
“Maybe. Not enough to change her mind, though.”
“It’s tied in with losing her parents.”
“I know. Which was a hell of a long time ago. And she’s letting it take over her life. I understand that it was bad and that she doesn’t want to go through it again, but I don’t see why it has to ruin her life. Or mine, for that matter.”
“Oh, Riley, I wish I could help.” She walked over to stand in front of him.
He looked up and saw tears welling in her eyes. “Damn, Val, don’t cry. You know I hate that.”
“I know,” she said with a sob. “But Letty’s my best friend and you’re my brother and I love you both. I want you to be together.”
Riley put his arm around her and hugged her. “Stop crying. Liam will come over here and slug me if he thinks I made you cry.”
She continued to cry so he left to get her a tissue. Which of course, he couldn’t find. He found a cloth that didn’t look too dirty or smell too bad. Someone had used it on a saddle, most likely. He went back and handed it to her.
“Thanks.” She started to wipe her eyes but stopped. “What is this?”
“All I could find.”
“It looks like a cleaning rag.”
“That’s because it probably is.”
Val wadded it up and threw it at him. “Thanks but no thanks.”
“Picky, picky.”
“Only you,” she said, laughing.
At least he’d made her stop crying.