Chapter Twenty-Two #2
There is fleeting laughter and I have never seen love like that which these siblings share.
It gives me hope that if I have kids some day they will love each other; not every sibling relationship is doomed the way mine and Peter’s was.
There have been lows, of course. Silent tears and short tempers from time to time.
Four people all grieving under one roof is bound to bring some disagreements.
Aiden wants to plan everything for the funeral but the girls are starting to push back, they want to be a part of it but he is having a hard time letting go of the reins.
Aiden is scared that if he lets them take some of the weight it would be his fault if they can’t handle it. They can though. One day I hope I’m half as strong as any one of those women.
Creaking coming from the front door opening startles me out of the quiet reprieve of the night, but as I turn to see who has caused the disturbance I find there’s no way to be disappointed at the scene that meets my eye.
Aiden, stood in the doorway, clearly shocked that he woke up in bed alone.
Pyjamas and mismatched socks bring a smile to my face that makes Aiden smile too.
His bright eyes light up the darkness and I can tell by the glint in his eye that he is no longer worried that he has interrupted me.
If it means I can see him smile like that I will be happy to let him disturb my peace any time he wants.
“Having trouble sleeping?” I ask lightly, as though if I speak any louder it would break the spell that we are enjoying together.
“Seems I’m not the only one.” He nods, slowly walking towards the porch swing.
Silently I lift one side of the spare blanket I found in the sitting room as an invitation to him to join me inside my cocoon.
Cicadas fade into the background as he takes his rightful place next to me, it is as though we are the only people left in the world, which I admit would not be the worst thing I could imagine.
Alone time with Aiden could never be a waste.
Plus if we were the only people in the world that would mean there would be no people for us to lose, or people there to try and blackmail me.
For a while we sit there in comfortable silence enjoying the darkness and the company of someone whose affection we can feel without feeling like we have to utter a word.
Even if I knew what I wanted to say, I’m not ready to admit the pain that comes with being his fake wife.
I hate that, once the funeral passes next week, he might be ready to write me out of his life.
It could be five minutes or five hours before I break the silence.
“I thought fresh air was supposed to make you sleepy but somehow I’ve never felt so awake.” The truth is that I had lain in bed beside him tossing and turning but I could not find rest as thoughts of my growing feelings for the man next to me raced through my mind.
“All this fresh air is giving me a headache,” Aiden chuckles. “I guess I’m too used to the pollution and noises that the quiet freshness feels odd after all this time.”
Speaking in hushed tones which, if I was asked about later, I would say was because I didn’t want to wake the girls inside the house, though really it’s because this moment of privacy, just the two of us, feels special and undisturbed and neither of us wants to be the one who ruins it, I tell him, “Here, lay your head down on my lap so I can help get rid of that headache.” Eyebrows raise at that.
Sensing the turmoil in his eyes I nod to him and drop my eyes to my lap in an invitation that he can’t turn down, even if he tries.
Shifting his weight so as to not rock the porch swing, Aiden lightly places his head on my thighs, clearly confused as to how I’m planning to help him.
Basking in the way his stormy eyes look at me, as though I’m the only person who can bring him comfort, I forget for a moment that I have a task at hand, until he smiles up at me as though he is being blessed by the angels.
After another beat I delicately place my hands in Aiden’s blond hair, starting at the front and pushing his hair back as I go.
A light smile settles on his lips and his eyes drift close at my continued contact.
Applying slight pressure onto his skull, I hope it will make some difference to his headache.
I hate seeing Aiden in pain and honestly I would do anything I could to ease him no matter where we stand with each other.
Bringing my hands back towards the front of his head I use my nails to scratch at his hair, making him shiver and hum in appreciation.
Knowing that I’m helping him spurs me on and gives me a confidence I was not sure I would ever have with this man.
In a split second, before I can even comprehend my own decision, I’m leaving a feather-light kiss on his lips.
Immediately I expect an adverse reaction: for Aiden to sit up and storm back inside or for him to tell me off for making advances on him when he is struggling.
Aiden doesn’t even open his eyes.
Heart thumping in my chest, I consider maybe I didn’t actually even kiss him, maybe I just imagined the whole thing.
But that can’t be the case, which I’m clued in to by the red tint that is currently rising up from Aiden’s neck, making his ears burn.
Still he doesn’t move, maybe hoping I might believe that he is really asleep and I’m praying to a God that I do not believe in that if he stays as still as he can that maybe he will let me do it again, maybe he will let me do it forever.
“I know you’re awake,” I say into the night air.
“Are you sure? Because I’m pretty sure I must be dreaming of you again, darlin’,” he replies without pause as his arms wrap around my waist and his face nudges slightly against my stomach.
Head falling back in a light laughter, I resume the ministrations on his head.
The moment has been addressed and yet I really don’t know where that leaves us as I drift off into a contented sleep surrounded by the smell of Aiden and the Texas air.