Chapter Twenty-Five
Lyndsey
I feel really at peace here. Settled on the old sofa next to Celia with a big bowl of popcorn between us.
On the other sofa Alice and Eden match us with their own overflowing bowl of snacks.
We took so long to pick what we were going to watch for our girls’ night that by the time we pressed play on the Nineties romcom the popcorn was already half eaten.
Aiden has been sent up to his room on a no-boys-allowed basis, he acted offended but I know he has been desperate for some time to himself.
Going from living alone to being in a house with four women, most of whom are grieving, is a lot.
I have no idea what he is doing up there but I’m enjoying my time enough not to care.
We will still get time together when we slip under the covers.
That is our time to be uninterrupted and I spend most hours thinking about when I get to feel his warm skin against mine, the way his arms wrap around me.
“This is so unrealistic!” Alice exclaims after a while. Her sisters groan and Eden goes as far as to throw a handful of popcorn at her.
“Here we go again…” Eden rolls her eyes and Cece laughs but when Eden sees the confusion on my face she explains, “She thinks every romance is unrealistic, she can never just enjoy something.”
“Well, it is! Fake dating to make your ex jealous just to end up falling in love with the fake boyfriend, I mean, come on! In what world?” She throws her head against the cushion in exasperation, making us all laugh.
Though my laughter is a little more forced.
She just hit the nail on the head with my and Aiden’s relationship and she doesn’t even know.
I’m falling for Aiden. Before I knew him, I had a crush on him.
When I met him, I was falling for him, just to be put back on the shelf when he got bored, and now I’m married to him, living in his childhood home, laughing with his sisters, and I know my feelings for him are growing deeper day by day.
Still, I can’t drown out the sound of the voice in my head reminding me that he is a sweet-talker.
He knows the right things to say but I can’t believe him because who knows how many women he has said them to in the past?
We are supposed to be getting divorced and I have to remember that when we are back in Seattle, he will drop the whole falling-in-love act and go back to the way things were.
As the credits start to roll on the film, I realise I have been in my own head for so long that I missed the ending.
What brings me back to the present is my phone vibrating on my lap.
Instantly I’m on edge. My heart thunders in my chest, dreading what is coming next.
I thought whoever sent the damn texts was giving me time.
They said two weeks and it has only been one, I shouldn’t have expected them to play fair.
That’s my fault, getting comfortable here.
With these people. Thinking I would get to enjoy some time as Aiden’s wife in the Texas sunshine without the threats looming over me.
My hands start to shake and sweat so badly that I can barely pick the phone up.
I don’t want to look at this in front of the girls, I haven’t even thought about how I’m going to get the money. I thought I had time.
Jumping up from the couch I stumble over to the stairs, leaving the girls calling after me asking if I’m okay.
I yell back that I’m fine before running to the bedroom.
Aiden went out on to the porch earlier on so luckily the room is empty for my impending breakdown.
Trying to control my breathing, I click open my phone, preparing for the worst.
Hey Lynds how are the Anders doing? Any ETA on your homecoming.
Thinking about you, Cas.
My knees nearly buckle in relief. It was Cassie, just Cassie.
Asking after us all. I’m still so keyed up that my hands still shake as I type out a reply letting her know our flight is next week.
My knees still knocking, I stumble into the bathroom, resting my weight on the sink.
The woman looking back at me in the mirror looks tired.
My red hair looks dull and even with the tan I’m developing here I still seem white as a sheet.
Between the sweat still damp on my back and the sick feeling lingering around the edges of my mind I feel dirty all over.
Turning away from my reflection I switch on the shower and strip off my clothes.
Once the water has warmed, I slip under the stream trying to calm my mind.
Even though I know the text was from a friend and not a foe I still can’t shake off the feelings of guilt.
The guilt from not telling Aiden what is happening, guilt from running from the girls.
Running from my problems. I just can’t put more on their plates, especially not now.
They are still grieving their loss and I won’t make this all about me.
I just need to wait out the clock and then I can get a loan to pay off whoever this is.
Or maybe once news of our divorce hits the papers they will leave me alone.
They are only doing this because of my marriage and that will be over soon.
Plus there isn’t exactly anything Aiden can do.
He can’t fight some troll on the other end of my phone.
Aiden would probably offer to pay them off but even when I think about getting a loan something feels wrong about it.
I don’t want them to get away with this, never mind get away with a bunch of money on top.
Eventually, I turn off the water and wrap a big fluffy towel around my body.
I peek through the crack in the bathroom door to see that the room is still empty, Aiden nowhere in sight.
I throw on a pair of leggings and an oversized T-shirt, squeezing the water out of my hair.
Only then do I notice the note on my pillow. Aiden’s handwriting stares back at me.
Snatching the letter up I unfurl it to find the most beautiful letter I could ever imagine.
The words wrap around my heart, warming me from the inside out.
The vulnerability in his words, the way he is using his mom’s letter as his own to tell me how thankful he is for me, makes my heart thunder for a completely new reason.
He might be a playboy but I doubt he has ever done something like this before. It feels too raw.
I can see so much of him in the words, he sees me in a way nobody else ever has. Not even Kayla or Mel saw me in the way he does. Like I’m worth something to him, more than just a fake wife and a way to fool his family.
Without taking a second to ponder what I should do, I take off out of the room and towards the front porch.
Not bothering to slip on any shoes I swing open the front door.
Aiden spins on his heels, looking at me with wide, expectant eyes.
I fly towards him, jumping into his arms, curling my legs around his waist before I kiss him.
I kiss him with all of my gratitude.
I kiss him with all of my anxiety.
I kiss him with all of the feelings I have for him that have been bubbling under the surface.
We don’t talk, there is no time because every time either of us tries to pull away the other chases their lips again. I kiss him until my lips are numb and, even then, I groan at the loss of contact.
Finally giving in to the need to breathe, I slide down his body, putting my feet back on solid ground, even though I still feel like I’m in the clouds.
Words just seem unworthy of what is happening between us so we keep the silence.
I wrap my hand around his, pulling us back through the house and upstairs to our bedroom.
We come together slower than before. I want to enjoy this, every inch of my skin is his tonight.
My hands slip under his T-shirt and I try to whip it off for him, feeling like if I don’t feel his skin against mine soon, I’ll lose my nerve.
Sensing my need, Aiden answers my prayers, lifting his own top off, revealing his bare tattooed skin to me.
He picks me up then, holding me close as he bends us over to lie on the bed. I pull back slightly, just enough to bring my hands between us to pull down his jeans.
Before he has spent time warming me up, but when he goes to fall to his knees at the foot of the bed, I pull him up instead. “I need you now, Aid, please.”
“I’m here,” he whispers against the skin of my neck as he settles his hips over mine. He brings fingers to my centre to see how wet I am. Even if I rushed him there is no way he would hurt me.
When he finds that I’m soaked and ready for him he groans, and my breath shutters in my chest. He takes my hips in his hands, flipping me over onto my knees.
I gasp but still I don’t hesitate to drop my weight down onto my forearms on the mattress.
I sway my ass in front of him. Pulling my hips back, he uses one hand to notch himself at my centre before pushing in to the hilt.
“Aiden. Fuck,” I moan, and when I meet his eyes over my shoulder again, I know he is mine.
Even if just for now. There is no way that I’ll be able to let him go when we go home, I need to be his wife because I feel like he could really be my husband. If he feels the way I do right now and he isn’t clouded by lingering grief then there could be something real here.
I’m a master at hiding behind walls. Walls he is trying everything he can to break through.
As I moan louder his fingers sink into my red hair, I can feel myself tightening around him, bringing me closer to the edge with each thrust. Together we snap, our voices reaching a crescendo of moans that almost echo around the old house.
Pulling out of me with a hiss he doesn’t bother getting up; instead, he rolls us over so he is on his back and my head is resting on his chest.
I wonder what it would be like to have this every night.
The man I’m falling for in my arms with nothing to worry about except what we will do tomorrow.
I push away all my fears and anxieties about my texting terror and push my face further into Aiden’s chest. I want to open up to him, the way he did to me in that letter, but there is still so much he doesn’t know about me.
It feels wrong to tell him I might love him when he only knows the parts of me I have wanted him to see.
It might be selfish to hope he keeps trying to get through my walls. I want him to know every part of me, I just need to find the courage to face him. The same courage he showed me.