Chapter Thirty-Two
Aiden
I love driving my wife to work. Hell, I would drive around the block one hundred times if it meant I got more time with her.
We might not be talking the whole time but, in a way, I like that more.
The comfort and ease we feel together. Being in her aura is calming, it really sets me up for success every day.
Knowing that there is someone willing to support me takes away anxiety I had pushed down, trying so hard to be dependable that I couldn’t even support myself.
Now, because of Lyndsey giving me the room to express emotion openly, I feel stronger both mentally and physically.
After dropping her at work each morning I have to get into focus mode on my way to the stadium.
I have to take off my husband cap and put on my captain cap.
I love my job. The feeling of knowing every man on my team respects me and sees me as a guiding light is proof to me that this is where my life was supposed to go.
For a while I doubted that. When Pops asked me to come home after my parents died and step up for my sisters I wavered.
Alice gave me the strength to fight for what I needed and she was right.
I needed this more than I think I ever would have guessed.
When I step out onto the ice, I feel the weight of expectation, but it just makes me want to push harder.
Now I also have Lyndsey’s strength behind me.
It’s why I won’t let her go. I’m giving her time to come around to it, I would hate to push her when she isn’t ready but I know in time she will find what I have.
That we are better together. I want her to come to me, it’s why I offered her the guest room.
Now that we are no longer pretending for my family, I wanted to give her space to work through her emotions, but that doesn’t mean that I’m giving up on us.
Plus, there is the problem of our divorce papers hidden in my nightstand.
When Cassie brought her PI over, she also had the papers in her bag from the lawyer.
I haven’t signed them yet, and frankly I still don’t feel ready to give them to Lyndsey.
What if she wants to file them right away?
I don’t think she would really want to, but there is always that tiny bit of doubt that she might truly want rid of me.
She is my wife and I want it to stay that way. It might not have been our life plan but I’m so much happier with her by my side than I ever thought was possible. I understand why my dad wanted me to get married so badly. Having the support of a good woman makes life greener.
I think my darlin’ might be willing to stay married.
She hasn’t brought up getting divorced once in the time we have been back.
She stopped mentioning it in Texas and I refuse to utter the words.
I won’t put the idea in her head that I want her gone.
That could never be the case. I sense her anxiety around her blackmailer and I know she thinks I’m going to abandon her.
Why wouldn’t she?
The people who were supposed to love her unconditionally gave up on her; of course she expects the same from me.
Her parents scared her in a way she tries to hide but when you brush just below the surface, she has so many bruises still to this day.
Just because things aren’t easy that doesn’t mean I’m going to leave.
If anything it makes me want to stay even more.
To show her that I will always be by her side no matter what fate throws at us.
I hope that with time she will see that I’m not going anywhere.
I’ll make her breakfast and drive her to work, I’ll take on any weight that is on her shoulders, all until she realises that I’m right here.
Not planning on going anywhere without her with me.
I’m on autopilot as I make my way through the training rooms at the stadium.
By the time I make it to the locker room I can’t drop my small smile as I think about Lyndsey.
Based on the sound leaking from under the door it is clear I’m one of the last few guys here but it has been like this for days.
I refuse to stop dropping Lyndsey off at work, even if that means they have to wait for me.
It’s only a few minutes, I deserve that grace.
For years I was the first guy here and the last one to leave so I have done my time, they can give me ten minutes every day to spend with my wife.
“Mornin’, boys!” I holler as I enter. They all call back their hellos, patting my shoulders as I walk through them to my locker.
“Anders! How is domesticated life?” Rook yells. He isn’t even the rookie on the team any more and yet I can’t imagine calling him anything else.
“Life is sweet,” I tell him honestly and the dramatic sound of him gagging fills the room.
“God, everyone is getting tied down. First Ruin and now you. Hell, even Felix is married.” He might say he hates it but I see the truth.
He wants what we have. Seeing Ruin find love with Ellis and have a family with her affected us all.
I always thought I loved the single life but I think I was just complacent in my loneliness.
I just laugh at him and Felix the goalie throws a pair of socks at his head, making us all laugh harder. Edge is quiet but that isn’t strange. Jay Brink is a brooding observer. He will wait until he has something substantial to say before he interjects, but he eyes me from across the room.
“So Anders… you going to be a dad next?” Felix asks, clearly teasing, nudging me with his shoulder. Images pop into my mind of Lyndsey carrying a baby but I push them away as quickly as they came.
“Slow down, she might not even stay married to me.” I don’t know what else to say. I don’t want to think far into the future with Lyndsey when everything is still so uncertain. Still Felix just rolls his eyes at me, clearly unimpressed.
“You aren’t getting divorced. She’s always been into you. It’s the reason she never tried to flirt with me,” Rook says from the bench where he is lacing his skates. His voice is confident but he very rarely sounds unsure.
“Oh, is that the only reason a woman wouldn’t want you?
” Edge shoots back, voice dripping in sarcasm.
The relationship between those two is strange.
They do nothing but bicker but they also care deeply about each other.
It is a true sibling relationship, with Rook being the cocky younger brother always needling Edge.
“Obviously, I’m a perfect human specimen, eh,” he replies, flexing his arms like a bodybuilder, but Edge looks unimpressed. I can see him trying to smother a smile though. If I didn’t know him as well as I do I would probably miss it. Rook does, too busy flaunting his biceps.
“How about you put those muscles to work? We’re running drills,” I yell, clapping my hands to grab everyone’s attention. Groans ring out around the room but I feel excited to get out there. I prefer being on the ice over being in the gym any day.
“Anders.” Edge grabs my shoulder, pulling me back into the room. Neither of us says anything until we are alone. Waiting patiently for the rest of the team to trickle out, Edge stands at my side, tension marring his face.
“You good?” I ask when the door clicks closed behind Felix.
“Look, I’m not trying to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong but, I know about the PI Cassie had to hire.
I don’t know everything but if you need support I’m here, yeah?
” He rubs a hand on the back of his neck, refusing to meet my eye.
I appreciate him not mentioning this in front of the team, but I want to know how the hell he found out about it.
“How do you know?” My voice is a dangerous growl, needing to protect my wife’s privacy.
“I overheard Cassie when Coach Mitch sent me to ask her something. She didn’t breach your trust or anything,” he rushes out, almost too quickly, but I know he isn’t coming from a bad place. Still, I find it hard to cool my blood.
“Can you keep this quiet, the less people that know the better.” My voice stays slow, someone could walk in at any minute and I want to keep this as far away from the team as I can.
If Lyndsey wants them to know she will tell them herself.
I won’t disrespect her by telling them all her business.
She has never had anyone she could depend on to keep her secrets for her.
I’ll be that even if she doesn’t know it’s happening.
“Of course, it’s just… Look, I like Lyndsey, she is a great girl, I just want you to know that I’m here to support you both.
” Both he and Lyndsey are Ellis and Ruin’s baby girl’s godparents and it’s given them a special bond.
I love seeing how my team cares about her.
Putting a hand on my shoulder, he continues, “You might be my captain but you are also my friend. And so is she.”
“It’s a shit situation but I think we are going to be okay.” I sigh. I wish I could make it all go away but I know that isn’t realistic. For now being by her side has to be enough. Keeping her safe is my priority and the only way I can do that right now is to leave her alone as rarely as I can.
“What are they blackmailing her with?” The words tumble out as though he knows he shouldn’t ask but the curiosity got the better of him.
“That’s between me and her. All you need to know is that I trust her with my life and if anything comes out in the press about her it’s not the whole truth. She is my wife and that is what matters.” My tone leaves no room for argument and he just nods, his eyebrows lifting in acknowledgment.
“I respect that. Married life looks good on you.” He laughs, walking past me and out of the room to get himself on the ice.
I take a second before I follow after him.
I do love my job but I love my life off the ice too.
The small moments just between Lyndsey and me on my sofa, the quiet moments as we eat together.
I want to make sure I have a good balance between both parts of my life.
I have worked hard enough the past few years and I think it’s time I gave myself some slack.
I don’t need to be the last man here to be a good captain.
I can support my team and my wife, neither needs to suffer.
With that thought I flick off my skate guards and step out onto the ice, taking a deep breath of the cold air.
Yelling formations at the team, we run drills together, Coach Mitch watching us from the sidelines.
Sweat drips from my hair but I smile anyway, a plan forming in my head as we start practising slap shots.
I’m going to be home when Lyndsey finishes work today.
Make her a romantic meal, buy a nice bottle of wine and maybe even a fancy chocolate dessert to share.
I can see it now: the candlelit table and the perfectly cooked steaks. I would buy her flowers but buying them from anywhere other than Bloom and Blossom feels wrong and that would ruin the surprise.
It’s a few hours later and my plan is forming in front of my eyes.
I’m almost giddy as I wait for her to arrive.
I haven’t had a serious relationship before so this is probably the most romantic thing I have ever done.
I have taken women to fancy restaurants but turning my own house into our own private dining experience with myself as the chef? That one is new to me.
There are candles on the table ready to be lit when I serve the food but, for now, I’m making a salad to go with our steaks.
I hear a car door closing outside and know it must be her, she gets a taxi home most days.
I love calling this house her home, I hope she feels like it is her home.
I want her to love it here – if she wanted to move I would follow her anywhere, but this is the house I pictured starting a family in.
The front door clicks open and I turn to pull two glasses out of the cabinet to pour her some wine, but she stops in the doorway. Turning, I see my wife reacting to the scene in front of her. Emotion flits across her face. Excitement. Lust. Happiness.
Then her eyes flick up to me, the intensity in her gaze makes me put the glasses down on the side and walk towards her.
Before I can get too close though she is flying across the room and jumping into my arms. Instinctively my hands band under her thighs, pulling her tight against me as her lips press against mine.
Not waiting a second, I kiss her back. It is not often that Lyndsey initiates affection and I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
My wife wants me to kiss her, she will be kissed.
Spinning her around I settle her on the kitchen counter, kissing her harder.
Leaving no space between us I push my chest against hers, moaning while her fingers weave in my hair.
I’m glad I bought steaks because I don’t think we will be eating any time soon.
I’m too busy enjoying the taste of my wife.
Our tongues battle against each other, almost fighting with the need for more. I want to imprint myself into her skin, my fingers dig into her soft curves. Her legs tighten around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer. We barely come up for air before I realise this will not be enough.
Finally pulling away from her I nip at her bottom lip, nudging my nose against hers lightly. Our breathing is laboured but neither of us tries to create space. Sliding my hands further under her ass I lift her from the counter and move towards the stairs. I want my wife and I want her now.
I want my dessert before my steak.