Chapter Thirty-Nine
Lyndsey
I decide not to wake him up, I can’t bring myself to disturb him.
Instead, I get ready in silence and order a taxi to Bloom and Blossom.
By the time I make it to work I’m filled with determination.
I have never been the type of woman to tiptoe around things.
Yes, I like to be independent, but I know that I want Aiden and I know deep down that he wants me too.
No matter what those anxious thoughts try to tell me.
If he wanted a divorce, we would be divorced by now.
I have to trust my own intuition and look at all of the things he has done for me.
He has protected me and let me into his house – hell, into his bed.
He has shown me grace but most of all he has let me in.
He has let me see the real him. Not the captain of the Spears, but the man.
Aiden Anders, brother and protector, with a huge heart that I own a part of.
Peter scared me, I’m not too weak to admit that he had me on edge, made me feel like I was still a teenager and he still had power over me.
I felt myself regressing back to that scared girl who couldn’t believe that anyone would love me for me.
But I have friends who care about me, people to lean on and a husband who will go to war for me.
I won’t let him win by breaking me and Aiden.
I’m stronger than what he threw at me. I won’t sit around and wait for things to happen to me.
I want my husband despite how unconventional our beginning was and I’m going to show him that I’m all in.
“Ellis… can I ask a huge favour?” I yell to where she is in the back office ordering some gerberas. We don’t have any consultations today so I know I won’t be leaving her in the lurch.
“Sure thing, what’s up?” She comes to join me behind the front desk, slapping the order forms down and putting her weight on her hands so she is almost down to my height.
I have known her for long enough to know that her hips must be aching.
Her fibromyalgia is a struggle for her but she never complains.
Always just chipping away at the day, doing what she needs to do so she can make money and go home healthy to her kids.
“Can I leave?” I ask, biting my lip. A part of me wishes she had stayed in the back room so I wouldn’t have to see the way her eyes widen when they snap to me. Her mouth opens slightly.
“What?” She laughs, shocked. I never say no to working extra hours. I know what it is like to not know when you are going to be able to pay the bills, I never just give up a shift.
“I want to surprise Aiden.” I can hear the hesitance in my words but she doesn’t comment on it. I don’t want to share the whole plan that is forming. I want to keep that close to my chest.
“Aw, Lyndsey, yes of course you can go. I like seeing you happy.” She puts her hand on my shoulder, her eyes glistening with tears. A few years ago she would never have been this open with her emotions, but since she has fallen in love with Liam again her emotional walls are a lot thinner.
“Don’t be sappy,” I say with a roll of my eyes, but I can’t smother the wide grin splitting my face.
“Oh, get out.” She pushes me, still laughing. I have her to thank for my happiness. If it wasn’t for her and Liam then I never would have met Aiden, never mind married him. He was just a celebrity athlete I had a crush on and now I share his bed.
“I’m going, I’m going. Thank you!” I know she won’t change her mind but still I grab my bag and hustle out of the shop without looking back.
My mind runs with ideas of how I can show Aiden exactly how much he means to me.
We have never even been on a date. I have met his family and, unfortunately, he has met some of mine, but we have never got dressed to the nines and hit the town for a real date.
I’m going to change that. But I want more than just a nice meal, especially because I know he will pay even if I demand that it is my treat.
Plus it feels too easy, not “us” enough.
Aiden deserves to feel cared for and seen, the way he has made me feel. That is why I’m going to do more.
My plan forms. Clues around the city. Places that remind me of him.
Clues for him to solve with the prize at the end being me in a pretty dress ready for a romantic meal with my husband.
Now I just need to figure out how the hell to do all of that in the few hours before he comes home from the gym and watching game clips with Coach Mitch.
Hours later I sit in Il Moroso, a restaurant I could never get a reservation at, especially on such short notice – but I had a trump card.
Cassie. She was more than happy to throw the Spears name around to get me a table and it worked a treat.
The lights in the restaurant are low and sultry and quiet orchestral music flows around the room.
It is the type of restaurant that somehow is quiet no matter how many people are inside.
Hushed voices, the sound of forks on plates, but that is it.
There are no arguments or rambunctious kids running around.
Definitely not my usual scene but it felt the most romantic place I could find.
The Italian food is apparently super authentic and tasty.
Now I just need to wait for Aiden. Every second that I sit here alone I think he isn’t going to make it.
What if I made the clues too complicated?
What if he doesn’t want to come on a date with me in case we get hounded by fans?
My anxiety climbs by the second and I wish I had a stiff drink to take the edge off.
But no. I want to seem classy so I sip at my glass of red wine, picking my fingernails.
I know that he will come. He always shows up for me and I need to remember that.
I’m his wife and he is my husband, we chose each other and I know in my heart he will be on his way.
I push down the niggling anxieties that feel almost built into my DNA as I picture how his eyes will light up when they see me.
My dress is a lush velvet in a dark blue shade, so dark that in certain lights it appears black.
My hair is twisted in a messy updo and my make-up is layered to perfection.
When I was getting ready, I imagined Aiden’s eyes when he saw me, the heat that would flash there, but as I sit here alone I wish I blended in with the wall.
I know that I’m here early, Aiden isn’t due to be here for another few minutes, but with every glance around the room it feels smaller.
As if every other person here pities me, looking like I have been stood up at the most romantic restaurant in all of Seattle.
They know I’m not supposed to be here. I feel so judged but the more I look around the more I see that nobody is paying me a lick of attention.
All too wrapped up in their own date nights.
It’s my own doubt scaring me. All of my internalised homophobia and my low confidence.
I deserve to be here just as much as anyone else.
My parents made me feel so small that sometimes I still find it hard to take up space.
Instead of my parents’ voices, it’s Aiden’s that pulls me out of my head.
Every time he has called me beautiful. Every time he has caressed my skin.
I don’t need to be worried about him not showing because he loves me.
I know that I’m worthy of his love even if we haven’t actually said the words.
The bell above the entrance chimes; my eyes dart to the door. Aiden stands in the entrance in a crisp suit with a huge bouquet of flowers filling his arms. Once he spots me across the room his eyes sparkle, darting all over my face as though I’m a sunrise, filled with beauty.
Not wasting a second, his long legs cross the room and I find myself standing to greet him.
Every moment of anxiety I have felt melts away when he drops the flowers on the table and pulls me into his arms. My hands grip at the lapel of his suit jacket as he kisses me.
It is an appropriate kiss, nothing super long or steamy, but it is everything.
I can feel the curve of his lips smiling against mine.
His hands settle on my hips when I pull away from the kiss, not letting me go too far.
He looks down at me smiling and I know mine matches his. I feel almost giddy in his arms as we stare in silence, just enjoying each other’s space. Blinking rapidly as though coming out of a trance, Aiden shakes his head.
“You’re incredible,” he tells me, his voice low. Dropping another light kiss on my lips, he pulls out my chair.
Based on the heated look in his eyes and the way he refuses to drop my hand, I think I have been successful. I’m on a date with my husband and I’m the luckiest girl in Seattle.