Chapter Ten
S pence was in a mood by the time he got back to the ranch. He would have gone to town and drunk off some of his frustrations, but he had no place to stay, no friend with a couch, so instead, he headed home.
He’d suspected going in that Hayley would have issues with him declaring his feelings, but he hadn’t expected to be so flattened by her insistence that a relationship was out of the question while she raised her child. The woman meant what she said, which pretty much extinguished any glimmers of hope he had.
And the frustrating part was that he understood. She’d been happy on the ranch with her partnerless dad, while her mom demonstrated how not to have a healthy relationship time and again. Of course she equated single life with good parenting. She said she couldn’t speak to the future, but when she went ahead with her baby plan, Spence was certain that pregnancy and child rearing were going to be the center of her existence.
No room for a guy who truly felt that he’d be more of an asset than a hinderance when it came to stability.
He parked the Chevy next to Reed’s Dodge and sat for a moment, watching his mom move past the kitchen window, remembering the times he’d successfully snuck back into the house via his bedroom window. A good trick, that, since it had involved a tree outside his parents’ bedroom window, and the branches creaked, so he had to be extra stealthy.
Well, he was past sneaking in, but he had to admit that he wouldn’t mind entering his room via the tree because he didn’t feel like pretending everything was normal when it wasn’t.
Somewhere along the line, he’d fallen in love with stubborn Hayley Parker, who did not share his feelings, even if she admitted to being tempted to ask him to her bed. He understood her logic—but he did not agree with it. Just because she’d never experienced a healthy relationship didn’t mean it wasn’t possible.
A knock on the truck window scared the bejeezus out of him. He gave his brother a dark eye through the window and then opened the door. Reed stepped back and slid his thumbs into his pockets.
“Early night.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Things didn’t go well with Hayley?”
Spence answered with another dark look.
Reed gestured toward his house with his chin. “I’ll open the Whistle Pig.”
Spence studied his brother. Opening the Whistle Pig was huge. Reed guarded his good bourbon, and sharing meant that he suspected that Spence had issues.
He did. Why pretend he didn’t?
Lex popped her head out of her bedroom door when Reed and Spence entered the living room, headphones on, phone in one hand. She pointed to indicate where she would be—closed up in her room—then shut the door, leaving Spence and Reed with relative privacy.
“I’m fine,” Spence said after Reed handed him a glass with two fingers of bourbon.
“I know.” Reed took a seat and, after standing awkwardly with his drink in one hand, Spence did the same.
“I’m not fine.” He twisted his mouth sideways for a moment. “But I will be. Just waiting for the sting to end.” Reed asked no questions and Spence, after studying his untouched drink, met his brother’s gaze. “Did Lex say something?”
“Did she have to?” Reed asked, telling Spence that it had been obvious to everyone that he’d developed a thing for Hayley, and he hated the thought of looking like some lovesick kid in front of his family.
“Shit.”
Reed smiled a little. “If it makes you feel better, when Mom brought it up over marshmallows, Cade was surprised. So maybe we’ve been seeing clues for a while.”
“Oh yeah. Good to know.” Spence dropped his head against the sofa cushion, loosely holding his glass on his thigh. “With Cade back, I’m thinking of taking off as soon as I finish Hayley’s corrals.” Which was only going to take a couple of days. “I’ll come back for the surgery, but with Henry hanging on until the end of June, we have enough hands to handle the work here.”
“One, Cade doesn’t know how long he’ll be here. Two, you may as well stick around for the surgery, which is in what? Less than two weeks. Three... doesn’t Hayley need your help?”
Spence regarded his drink. “I need some time, and I don’t think Hayley wants to see me for a while.” But she did need his help. He’d have to think on that.
“Let’s go fishing.”
Spence looked up.
“Yeah. We can go to Minnow Lake. Spend a night like we used to. Fry up our catch.” Reed grinned. “Maybe Cade can sneak up there and make scary sounds at night like he and Em used to do.”
Spence laughed. The twins had scared the crap out of them during one such trip, to which they had not been invited. They’d gotten their revenge and then some, since Spence had broken his favorite fishing pole scrambling out of the tent.
“Sounds tempting.”
“The alfalfa won’t bloom for another week. Carter Hunt hasn’t tried any shit. The cattle are on new pasture. We could do an overnighter while Cade is here to help the folks.”
“We don’t want Cade to feel left out,” Spence said wryly. “He doesn’t take it well.”
“Let him do his best,” Reed said with a grin. “What do you say?”
“Fishing doesn’t solve everything.” Spence smiled a little. “But it doesn’t hurt either.”
“Great.”
“But we aren’t talking about anything. Got it? We just fish and maybe discuss old times. Or your life. We can discuss that.”
“We’ll stay away from what you don’t want to discuss.”
Spence gave a solemn nod. “Deal. When do we leave?”
*
Hayley had reached for her phone half a dozen times the previous evening to call Bella and discuss what had transpired between her and Spence, but she never made the call and that worried her because, until now, she could tell Bella anything and everything.
Technically, she could still tell Bella everything. She could call her right now, but... she didn’t want to.
Why?
She couldn’t say and, more than that, she didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want to analyze or characterize or theorize. She wanted to bury herself in hard work. Alone.
That wasn’t going to happen because Ash and Connor would be there shortly, and Spence had been adamant about finishing the pipe corrals.
Things were fine after your baby daddy request; they’ll be fine now. You’re even.
But being even didn’t keep her from being jumpy as hell as she waited for the man to show up. And he would. Spence was that kind of guy, so when a truck she didn’t recognize appeared at the end of her driveway, Hayley was a touch mystified. Had Spence’s truck broken down? It had seemed fine the night before when he drove away after turning her world upside down.
This truck was older. A sturdy-looking Ford from the mid-aughts and, as it got closer, Hayley saw that the man driving was definitely not Spence.
Had he sent a pinch hitter?
When Henry Still Smoking parked next to her truck, she had her answer. Yes. He had.
“Hi,” the old man said softly after getting out of his truck. Remy nosed along behind Hayley as she left the yard and crossed to where Henry was getting out of his truck.
He was showing his age in some ways—his face was lined, and his once black hair was now more salt than pepper—but he carried himself like a much younger man. Hayley didn’t know him well, but he seemed to exude honesty. What you saw was what you got, and Hayley was certain that if Henry promised something, it would be done—except when it came to retirement. Or course, that was why Spence had had the time to help her.
Was that a good thing or bad?
Well, she could say that her life was now more complicated than it had once been, and she’d spent the night assuring herself that she’d chosen the right path when she’d made it clear she was focusing on baby and ranch.
“What a fine-looking sow,” Henry said as Remy sniffed at his pant leg. He scratched the pig’s head, unaware that she was falling in love with him due to the attention, then said, “Spence couldn’t come today, so he asked me to.”
“Why couldn’t he come?” A question she wished she hadn’t asked.
“He’s going fishing.”
Hayley blinked at him. Fishing?
“I see.” Spence had every right to go fishing, but the lack of notice, combined with his insistence that he’d finish the corrals, made the timing seem suspect. It also made her gut twist. She didn’t want Spence to fall for her, but she didn’t want a life without him either. How unfair was that?
“He’s leaving this morning. Staying out a day or two. He said he’d finish the pipe corrals after he got back. He didn’t think you were in a big hurry.” Henry folded his hands over his chest and regarded her, as if trying to determine what Spence saw in her.
That was her imagination. Or guilty conscience.
“Is he going alone?”
“I guess so, because Reed is taking Lex back to Bozeman today and they said something about Spence hiking in.” His face brightened. “Yes. He’s probably alone. Cade didn’t go, and I saw Audrey and Daniel before I left.”
Everyone accounted for.
“I appreciate him sending you to take his place.”
“He said there was some fencing to be done? Posts to be replaced along a boundary fence?”
“Yes. Connor and Ash should be here shortly. My alfalfa is ahead of yours. They’re going to start swathing.”
“Don’t,” Henry said before leaning down to scratch Remy’s back. The pig lifted her snout and swayed with pleasure.
“Why?”
“We’re going to get squalls tonight or tomorrow.”
“But the weather—”
“Trust me,” he said softly before standing straight and patting the side of his hip. “Rheumatism doesn’t lie. I’ve lived with it long enough to read the signs.”
“I believe you.”
“A couple of days won’t hurt.”
Haley nodded. The hollow feeling that had started when Henry got out of his truck seemed to intensify with each passing second, even though this was how things probably needed to be.
So why was she having problems accepting it?
“I know I’m a poor second to Spence when it comes to manhandling stuff,” Henry said, “but I’m still pretty strong. I can do whatever needs done.”
“I have no doubt,” Hayley said.
“Fencing is kind of my thing,” Henry admitted with a half smile. “If I lined up the fences I’ve made or repaired over the years, well, they’d probably cross the country.”
“I’m glad you came,” Hayley said, as she made an effort to see things without shades of emotion. The problem that had kept her up for most of the night—how to work with a guy who’d confessed developing feelings for her—had been solved, thanks to Spence’s sudden yen for a fishing trip. He was either giving them the breathing room they needed, or he was upset enough at being shut down to not show up, despite saying he would.
Hailey went with the former, because she’d believed Spence when he’d said once he made a commitment, he kept it.
So why not believe that in the relationship sphere?
Because he’s starting to mean way too much to you.
Her stomach knotted. She knew how these things went—everything felt possible in the starry-eyed beginning, and then reality began to set it. Good intentions went by the wayside. She’d seen it, what... twice herself? Five times with her mom. Seven, if she counted the two guys that Reba hadn’t managed to marry before they broke up. And her dad had chosen to remain single rather than risk heartache again.
Yeah. Not going there.
She put her hand over her abdomen, then abruptly took it away when Henry followed the movement with his gaze.
Surely, he didn’t know.
Of course not. Hayley worked up a smile. “I’m really glad you’re here, Henry. Should we discuss pay now?”
Henry waved a hand. “Just let me help for a few days.”
Hayley gave a slow nod. “All right, Henry. I will.”
*
Minnow Lake was smaller than Spence remembered, but just as beautiful, looking very much like a blue gem set in a small granite basin. He and his siblings had spent a lot of time camping and fishing at the lake which, although situated on federal land, wasn’t stocked with farmed fish and barely showed up on the map. Few people bothered to visit—but some did, so Spence surveyed the banks from where he’d stopped hiking at the top of the hill leading down to the basin. No sign of life. Just the reflection of the stands of trees that surrounded the lake on three sides, and a few ducks swimming along the periphery.
Cool.
He shifted his backpack and continued down the hill. Reed had dropped him at the end of the road leading to the lake before continuing on to Bozeman with Lex. He’d offered to drive him in, but Spence had preferred to walk, as they’d done when they were kids. Reed would join him later that afternoon with food and beer. In the meantime, Spence would set up the small tent, then fish until his brother showed. He desperately needed to calm his brainwaves after his talk with Hayley the previous evening.
A classic case of wanting what you can’t have.
He wasn’t certain that was one hundred percent true, but he was going with it. Somehow it stung less than admitting that he’d fallen for a woman who didn’t reciprocate. Sending Henry to the Lone Tree in his place had been a stroke of genius. As he’d discussed with Reed the night before, they had a few slack days on the ranch, and Henry had jumped at the chance to make himself useful when Spence approached him with the idea.
It wasn’t like he was going to avoid Hayley. He’d stop by, say goodbye, then as soon as Cade guaranteed him that he’d be the guy staying on the ranch, Spence planned to spend the remainder of the summer on the road. He’d already sent Millie a text, and he fully expected a call when he returned to the ranch, having warned her that he’d have no cellular service for a day or two.
When he arrived at the campsite where Cade and Em had terrorized him and Reed during the night, he pulled in a deep breath of alpine air, smiling at the memory. Was this where Hayley and Bella’s tent had blown away?
Being the largest and nicest place to camp, he imagined it was.
And he also imagined that he was going to have to come up with a way to keep thoughts of Hayley from bombarding his tired brain. Things weren’t going to work out because she wasn’t going to let them. She had a different agenda—a life on her own with a kid. A life where that kid wasn’t threatened by the trauma of a broken relationship, something Hayley had firsthand experience with.
He admired her intentions, but he wished that those intentions weren’t ruining him like they were.
He wasn’t even going to get a shot.
*
“So you see, I can’t live with Thalia.”
Hayley leaned on the posthole digger while Henry loosened the soil at the bottom of the shallow hole with a heavy bar, giving a small grunt every time the heavy bar struck home. This was going to take time, but they couldn’t get the tractor and auger to this part of the hill, and that meant digging the holes in the rocky ground by hand.
Hayley and Henry were close to the same size and, while he was in remarkable shape, she was beginning to think that she should have handled weed control with Connor and sent muscular Ash with Henry. But she hadn’t, and the plus side of the marathon hole-digging process was that she was getting to know Henry.
Henry’s daughter, who lived close to Browning, had a full house—grown children, grandchildren, a few assorted nieces and nephews. She wanted Henry to move in with them, but he wasn’t so sure that was a good idea.
“I mean,” Henry said, as Hayley began removing loose debris from the hole with the posthole digger, “she has a big house and all, and everyone seems really happy. They all have jobs and are pulling their weight, but... a guy can’t live like I have for forty years, then suddenly move into a... group.” He leaned on the bar. “I like my solitude in the evenings. And the mornings. I also like to keep busy.”
“No hobbies?” Hayley dumped a load of dirt on the pile next to her boots, then stabbed the diggers back into the hole.
“Why would I want a hobby? I love taking care of the ranch.”
“Then why did you say you were going to retire?” Hayley stepped back to let Henry have his turn at the hole.
“I dunno.” Henry stabbed the bar deep, brought it up, and stabbed again.
“Just... thought it was the thing to do?” she asked.
“I announced on my seventieth birthday, and yes, I thought it was the thing to do. I figured out pretty soon that it wasn’t.”
“Daniel will probably let you keep living on the ranch if you don’t want to go to Thalia’s place.”
“He will,” Henry agreed as he stepped away from the hole and tipped back his hat to allow air to hit his damp forehead. “But what will I do to fill my days?”
Hayley considered as she removed the last of the loose dirt from the hole, then stood back to let Henry attack with the bar again. “Maybe you could go to work here.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I think they might need me on the ranch after the surgery.”
Hayley met his gaze, surprised. “Reed, Spence and Cade can probably handle the workload after Daniel is out of commission.”
Henry gave his head a small shake. “Reed will be there for sure. Cade, possibly. But Spence... he won’t be there, so I should be.”
Hayley’s stomach tightened. “Spence is leaving? He didn’t say anything.” Was he doing this because she’d said it was what he did? Was he making a point, or just being Spence?
Being Spence, she decided. He’d seen the truth of what she’d said and accepted it.
“He was on the phone with his boss before he asked me to come over. I’m a shameless eavesdropper.” He smiled, but Hayley read a tinge of concern in his expression. He knew that this was not welcome news. She was going to have to up her visible-reaction game.
“Oh.” It was the only response she could come up with before stabbing the posthole diggers back into the hole.
“Sorry,” Henry said.
She dropped the diggers into the hole and wiped her sleeve across her forehead. “Why?”
The word, meant to be casually dropped, came out on a croak. So not cool.
Henry lifted an eyebrow and gave her a look that clearly said he’d explain if she insisted.
“Never mind,” she said, taking hold of the digger handles again. “The situation is complicated.”
“I can tell. Spence is... distracted.” Henry waved her away from the hole, and Hayley stepped back as he raised the bar and then hammered it down. “But he’ll figure things out.” He gave Hayley a quick look, then addressed the hole. “So will you.”
*
Reed did not show.
At seven o’clock, Spence officially gave up on his brother, figuring that if anything serious had happened, the family would have driven to the lake, which was only five miles from the ranch, and alerted him. Therefore, whatever had kept his brother from coming was annoying, but not dire.
Spence adjusted his position, leaning back against the granite boulder next to the tent, and tipped back his beer. The air was strangely calm. Heavy, almost. He’d checked the weather before leaving that morning and other than a storm coming in later that week, the skies were supposed to be clear.
He drank again, then froze as a doe poked her head out of the trees. After staring at him for a full minute, she edged her way to the lake. Obviously, she wasn’t one of the fearless ranch deer.
Whether Reed was there or not, Spence was glad his brother had sent him fishing. Yes, his head was clearer. No, he had no ideas as to next moves other than to fall out of love with Hayley.
Was it possible to do that? To tell yourself that you’re not going to care?
He could tell himself not to care, but he didn’t know if he could do that. She’d gotten under his skin but good. The frustrating thing was that he knew— knew —that he was under hers, too, but her baby plan was more important to her than taking a chance on him.
He understood—kind of—but that didn’t make it any easier to live with.
A gust of wind blew over him, seemingly coming from nowhere, rustling the edges of the tent. He’d staked that baby down, thinking about Hayley and Bella not staking theirs and not wanting to repeat their adventure. The wind passed and once again the air felt heavy. Unsettling. He didn’t like the wind, but right now he wished there was more of the stuff to stir the thick air surrounding him.
He also wished he’d asked Henry for a forecast before he’d left the ranch. Henry, unlike the local weather guys, was never wrong.
*
Hayley sat straight up in bed when the branch hit the house, raking its way down the side and landing with a crash.
She ran downstairs, snapping on lights as she went, thankful that, for once, the power hadn’t been knocked out. The wind whipped the edges of her oversized T-shirt as she stepped out onto the front porch and breathed a sigh of relief that the branch had come down the side of the house and missed her fence and Remy’s little shelter.
A crack of thunder nearly lifted her off her feet and she rushed back inside, pushing the door shut against the wind. She’d hate to be out in this... like Spence was.
Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe when the wind had started, he’d packed up and headed home like a sane person, because storms in these mountains could get intense.
Or maybe he was in a tent, riding it out.
Or maybe his tent had blown away, like hers and Bella’s had.
Whatever, it wasn’t her concern.
Hayley went back into the house and smoothed a hand over her hair, which had started twisting into knots during the brief time she’d been on the porch.
The thought of Spence out in the storm was killing her. She went to the window, staring at her pale reflection. The thought of him admitting that he’d fallen for her, only for her to figuratively slap him backward, also killed her a little. She hadn’t let herself think about it, had done her best to push the thoughts aside time and again, but all day, even while working with Henry, she’d felt it. Felt the sorrow and frustration and, well, anger at the man for putting forth something that threatened her well-thought-out plans.
He was falling for her.
She’d fallen for him.
Could there be a happy ever after?
What have you learned from watching your mother?
“You’re not Reba.” She spoke the words to herself, as if saying them aloud gave the message more credence.
You don’t know that. How many successful relationships have you had?
Nothing like a small voice raining on one’s parade.
But she wasn’t like her mother in that regard. She wanted to live quietly on her ranch and she wanted a child, neither of which had been enough for Reba. She was like her father in those respects, happy staying in one place and being a responsible, loving parent.
But unlike her father, she didn’t want to live her life alone.
Hayley started back down the hall to her bedroom, then stopped as the lights flickered. They went out, then came back on again. She stayed frozen in place for a few seconds, waiting to see what the power would decide to do, then started toward her room again, her stride purposeful. She pulled her jeans off the chair where she’d laid them a few hours before, then grabbed her hoodie off the seat and shrugged into it.
Less than a minute later, she was in her truck. As she started the engine, the pole light next to the barn went out. Sometimes she wondered why she ever bothered paying the electric bill.
She let out a sigh that stopped abruptly when another branch, much smaller than the first, but a branch all the same, came down from the old cottonwood next to the house.
This was not a night to be camping alone by a lake. This was a night very much like the one when she and Bella had lost their tent, only it hadn’t rained that night. Big splats started pummeling the windshield just before a blast of lightning split the dark sky.
Hayley started the wipers and leaned over the steering wheel, squinting into the darkness that followed the lightning. All sensible deer should be nestled down for the night, but one never knew.
She turned onto the road leading to Minnow Lake, which she was almost certain Henry had said was the place where Spence was camping. Damn, but she hoped she’d heard correctly. The dirt road became slippery as the rain pounded the earth, forming rivulets that streamed over the packed dirt.
She drove slowly, jumping at each lightning bolt and the explosions of thunder, wondering if she was on a fool’s mission. So what if she was? So what if she got to the lake and discovered that Spence had gone home like any sane person would have? Except for that hiking in thing. If he’d hiked in, he’d have to hike out unless his family had rescued him.
Had they? There was no cell service, so he hadn’t sent an SOS, and Spence wasn’t the kind to do that anyway.
He was probably sheltering in his tent, riding out the storm.
No. She didn’t feel foolish checking on him. Riding to the rescue like she had in high school. Only this time, there’d be no talk of him owing her.
She shifted into a lower gear as she began descending the hill before the lake, the rain coming down so hard that the wipers couldn’t keep up. As soon as she let out the clutch, she realized her mistake. The backend of her truck started sliding sideways, then the left-rear wheel caught in the deep ditch and pulled the truck sideways. Hayley fought the wheel, but the mud was too slick, and she lost the battle with water and gravity. The truck lurched to a stop broadside in the road, the rear wheels sunk in the ditch.
She revved the engine, doing her best to blast out of the predicament she was in. Mud flew, rain pounded the windshield, the truck didn’t budge. Slowly, Hayley brought her forehead to rest against the steering wheel.
So much for Hayley to the rescue.