Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
All good things must come to an end.
Van was content to snuggle on the couch with Benji sandwiched between him and Joshua, all of them relaxed and sated, to binge a few episodes of Glee. Benji had an adorable habit of singing along to all of the songs, while Joshua tried to hide his boredom with the show.
Eventually, though, Van had to go to work. Every fiber of his body rebelled at them leaving, but it was inevitable. They said goodbye inside, Van taking turns kissing them soundly. A firm, claiming kiss from Joshua; a soft, passionate kiss from Benji. Both of them perfect.
He watched the car until it had disappeared from sight, and then went inside to change, a little sad, but positive he’d see them again soon.
And he did, around eight o’clock that night at Off Beat. Sundays were often quieter nights, so they planted themselves at the bar, and he spent his entire shift flirting with them whenever possible. Sasha gave him a funny look at one point, but didn’t comment.
Beatrice had no such boundaries. When he slipped into the back to use the employee bathroom, she was waiting as he came out, still drying his hands on a paper towel. “I thought you avoided complicated?”
Van shrugged. “They’re worth it.”
“They? I thought the threesome was a one-off? You’re fucking both of them? Still?”
“Technically, no, but I am seeing them both.”
She pulled a face. “Do I want to know what that means?”
“I have no idea, but it’s my private business, and I don’t need approval from anyone else to date a couple.”
“You’re right, it’s your business.” She studied him a moment, not judging because that wasn’t Beatrice. She was concerned, sure, but he was a grown man and he knew what he wanted. “Don’t let it affect your job, okay?”
“I won’t, I promise. Benji’s only in town for the week, and we all want to spend as much time together as possible.”
“Ah, yes, the honeymoon phase. Be careful, okay? A relationship with one person is tricky enough, never mind with two.”
“I know, and I will. Thanks, Bea.”
“Whatever. Go make drinks.”
With a grin and a laugh, he did exactly that, returning to his station and two smiling faces.
Monday and Tuesday passed in a similar way, with the trio spending the day at Van’s apartment and the evenings at Off Beat.
Wednesday was Van’s night off from tending bar, so instead of staying indoors, he planned a road trip across haunted Delmarva.
Using one of his books as a guide, he drove Joshua and Benji out to Reliance, Maryland, where the Patty Cannon house had once stood.
Benji took a selfie with the historical marker and uploaded it to the Fading Daze site.
They went to Burnt Swamp, where Van read the legend straight from the book.
After a late lunch in a small town diner somewhere in Delaware, they headed south again to check out the supposedly haunted Snow Hill Inn.
The trip took them past Whitehaven Ferry, a six-car river crossing that Benji begged to try, so they detoured again.
By the time dinner rolled around, everyone was tired; Joshua complained of a headache, so Van aimed them toward home.
Joshua was stretched out on the backseat to nap, with Benji riding shotgun.
“Thank you for today,” Benji said. “I had so much fun.”
“You’re welcome.” Van wanted to lean over and smother him with kisses for the adorable look on his face, but that was bad for safe driving.
“I really do love spending time with you guys. You’re both so funny and easy to talk to.
Plus sexy.” Naturally, his brain whipped back to the last four straight days of sex, which was always a fun, explosive repeat of Van fucking Joshua, while Benji jerked off at a distance, then helped Joshua come.
“What’s that look on your face?” Benji asked.
He ought to brush it off and change the subject, but Van never used to be afraid to speak his mind.
No sense in starting now. “I guess I’m wondering if you’ll ever feel comfortable enough with me to join in when Joshua and I have sex?
Or let me watch you and Joshua have sex? Or you and me do more than kiss?”
Not that watching Joshua faux-fuck Benji to reach his own orgasm wasn’t fucking hot to watch, but it also wasn’t quite the same as the intimate groping that eventually led to said faux-fucking.
“I will,” Benji replied after a moment’s thought. “I do want to share some of those things with you, Van.”
“You need trust and intimacy first.”
“I do. And I have those with you. They’re there, and they’re getting stronger every day.”
Van’s heart lurched. “But it’ll never be as strong as with Joshua.”
Benji angled toward him in the seat. “I don’t think that’s a fair statement.
I’ve known Joshua for three years and change.
It took a long time to let my guards down around him, and him with me.
The fact that we’ve both created such a strong attachment to you in a relatively short amount of time is kind of amazing.
And it should tell you something about how we both feel about you. ”
“Right now, I’m asking how you feel. I want to touch you so badly sometimes, but I’m scared of pushing you away by overstepping your boundaries.”
“Maybe I need my boundaries pushed.”
Van jerked the wheel. Traffic was light on this stretch of road, though, so he was in no imminent danger of an accident. “What do you mean?”
“I mean with Joshua, with every step of our relationship from our first date to finally trying anal sex, he was the one who initiated things. He never forced me to do anything I wasn’t totally into.
He was the one who played the first few notes, and I followed along and eased into the song as I went. ”
Mouth dry, Van glanced at him briefly. “So the next time we’re in private and I get the urge to drop to my knees and blow you, I should do it?”
“I’d suggest starting with, ‘Hey, Ben, I want to blow you.’ Jumping me might get you a black eye.” He said it all with a bright smile that lessened the weight of his words.
“I want to blow you.”
“And what? Have me steer from the passenger seat? We’ll end up in a ditch.”
Van laughed. “I don’t mean right this second, but maybe when we get home?”
“I think I’d like that.” Benji squirmed. “Are we going back to your place again?”
“Is that okay?” He’d texted Melody earlier in the day and confirmed she had a date with Adrian, so she wouldn’t be home until close to midnight—if she came home at all. Either way, she’d promised to text him her whereabouts so he didn’t worry.
“Your place is great. It’s funny, so far none of our friends have really commented on the fact that Joshua and I are off together without them all the time.
I mean, yeah, we tend to spend a lot of time alone when we’re in the same place for a few days, but we usually include them in some of our plans. ”
“Maybe because you guys came so close to breaking up for good, they’re giving you all the space they can?”
“Makes sense. Emmett and Linc are the only ones who suspect anything, and that’s just because of Off Beat. Seeing us hanging out there with you. Plus seeing you at the house on Saturday.”
Van squeezed the wheel. “Have they asked you about me?”
“No. Lincoln is as open-minded as they come, and Emmett seems all about don’t ask, don’t tell.”
This probably wasn’t a conversation for the car, but Benji was only in town for three more days before the band headed out. “How would you feel if people found out that you and your long-term boyfriend are dating a third guy?”
Benji went quiet, and a stolen glance showed him chewing on his thumbnail.
“I’d be embarrassed, but only because I hate it when my personal life hits the spotlight.
No one needs to know whom I’m sleeping with.
It has nothing to do with my ability to sing.
I mean, you probably heard about that whole thing last month where I got drunk and got felt up by a guy, and the pictures ended splashed on Instagram and a few other places.
It was so embarrassing to see that online. ”
Van turned those words over in his head.
For an indie band front man, Benji was an incredibly shy and introverted person, and he liked to keep private things private.
Made perfect sense that a public outing of their threesome would embarrass him.
And possibly have negative repercussions for Fading Daze as a group.
The world as a whole was still generally un-accepting of two men in a committed relationship. Three would make heads explode.
“Don’t do that,” Benji said.
“Do what?”
“You’re imagining worst case scenarios, aren’t you? About how a threesome might ruin my career.”
“It’s hard not to. Everything would be easier without me fucking up the works.”
“You’re an idiot.”
Van nearly slammed on the brakes. “Excuse me?”
“You’re an idiot. You are why all of this is working, damn it.
You helped fix Joshua and me in ways we didn’t realize we were broken.
You are exactly what we need in our relationship to keep us on an even keel.
Before you, maybe we had a bass beat and maybe we had the guitar notes, but we didn’t have the lyrics.
You are our lyrics, Van. You help make the song perfect. ”
His throat closed and his eyes stung, but Van would not cry. Not even tears of joy.
“We aren’t fucking around with you for fun,” Benji continued. “This is bigger than sex. It’s connection and emotion and tenderness and compassion and all of the things that make up a loving relationship.”
“He’s right.” Joshua sat up slowly, blinking tired eyes. “About all of it.”
Van pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand. “I thought you were asleep.”
“I agree with everything Benji said about this triad we’re building. Maybe a car ride isn’t the best place to have the conversation, but if you’re in, Van, then we want you.”