Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
“Yes,” she whispered. “It is.”
She’d suppressed everything about Evelyn in the drive to become Eva Gray. Evelyn didn’t get to have dreams and plans and experiences because Eva had to focus on revenge. Eva had to be born fully formed from conception to implementation. She didn’t have time for dreams.
All she’d had time for was thinking about how to punish Brandon Cox and his club.
Eva closed her eyes and breathed in the clean scent of the man holding her. He smelled like rain, fresh smoke, and leather. He smelled heavenly, and he smelled like home, a feeling she hadn’t had in so long that she could barely remember what it was like.
She’d told him about sitting on Mama’s lap and listening to books, and she missed those moments with an intensity that still felt as sharp as a knife. She missed many things about Mama and Heather.
But she was standing in Jake’s arms, and he made her feel safe. Happy.
No one had held her close in so long that she’d forgotten what this kind of contact felt like. She kept her arms wrapped around him, her cheek against his chest and her eyes closed as she listened to the comforting rhythm of his heart.
She became aware of something else as they stood together. His swelling cock pressed against her belly and made her insides liquefy.
“Sorry,” he said roughly as she tilted her head back to look up at him.
“Why?”
His gaze was both hot and troubled at the same time. “I didn’t hug you to get sex. I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable.”
“You aren’t.”
Far from being uncomfortable, her body was heated, achy. She wanted to know what would happen if they took this to the next level. How would she feel then? How would it feel to have him inside her?
She wasn’t an idiot. She knew how it worked. She was very aware of the mechanics and the theories about pleasure. She’d worried she would be awkward last night, but now?
If she let him take the lead, it would all work out.
“Yeah, well, I’m uncomfortable,” he said. “Because I’m hard for you but I have to let you go before this gets out of control.”
His hands dropped away, but she didn’t stop hugging him. She didn’t want to. Her body ached. Needed. What was the point in holding onto her virginity when she’d found a man who excited her?
They could have died last night. So many things could have gone wrong. But they were alive, and they were here, and she didn’t know if she would ever get this chance again.
“Maybe I want to see you out of control.”
His nostrils flared as he stared down at her. “Eva, you don’t owe me anything. I did my job when I got you out of there. You don’t have to pay me for it.”
She let him go and took a step back, her heart beating faster. Was she really doing this?
Yes, she was.
She dropped the quilt to the couch and reached for the bottom of her T-shirt. Then she dragged it over her head and dropped it. Jake watched, the pulse in his throat ticking faster than usual.
Seeing it emboldened her. She flicked open the button of her jeans and toed her boots off at the same time. When she pushed her jeans down her hips, his jaw grew tight. The bulge in his pants had only grown bigger.
“Eva. Jesus,” he said hoarsely.
“I want you to be my first, Jake. You won’t hurt me or leave me unsatisfied. I want you to show me how good it can be. It’s not a commitment or a declaration. It’s two people sharing their bodies for mutual pleasure.”
He closed his eyes and swallowed. “You’ve had a difficult couple of days. Don’t make a decision you might regret.”
She popped her hands on her hips. “Jake Ryan, stop being a jerk. I don’t need you to protect me from myself, okay?
Like I told Brandon, I get to decide who I share my body with.
And I’ve decided it’s you.” She dragged in a breath.
“And don’t you dare try to tell me it’s not what you want.
I can see plain as day that you do—so stop trying to be a gentleman, or some such crap.
Show me what I’ve been missing. I want you.
I want this. Don’t tell me you don’t want it too. ”
His eyes gleamed. “I can’t tell you that.”
“Then strip.”
Her pulse fluttered like a butterfly. She was putting herself out there and she didn’t know what he would do. He could continue to reject her. If he did, she would back down because she wasn’t brave enough to insist.
But then he grinned and shrugged out of the cut he’d worn for warmth because he didn’t have another jacket.
Her mouth went dry as his shirt disappeared.
He unbuttoned his jeans but didn’t take them off.
Instead, he closed the distance between them and put his hands on her hips, dragging her against his body.
She looked at the tattoo on his skin she’d been working on. It was still covered with the transparent aftercare bandage she’d put on it. His gaze followed hers.
“I can cover it with something else. I know you don’t like it.”
“Gorgeous girl,” he said. “I like the part you did. But that’s not something we’re discussing right now.”
He dipped his head and took her mouth in a possessive kiss, and her heart soared as her core grew instantly wetter and hotter than before. Every nerve ending in her body sizzled, aching for more.
She threw her arms around his neck, arched her body into his, and nearly groaned at the feel of bare skin on bare skin.
She’d never been this close to a man before.
Never known the pure pleasure of that naked touch.
Considering she was still wearing her bra and panties, she wondered how intense the pleasure would be when those tiny scraps of cloth were gone.
She didn’t have long to wait. Jake spread his hands over her back, and then her bra snapped open. He tugged it gently from her shoulders as she lifted her arms so he could remove it.
He kissed her long and deep, his tongue sweeping against hers, before he bent and swept her behind the knees so he could cradle her against his broad chest.
When he laid her on the couch and tugged her panties down her legs, she held her breath. Then he rose above her, his greedy gaze roaming her body, leaving prickles of heat and longing in its wake.
“Gorgeous,” he said. “Fucking gorgeous.”
She blushed, because she’d never been naked in front of a man before, never had one look at her like she was the most important thing in his world at that precise moment.
He palmed her breasts, his sure fingers flicking over her nipples while she bit her lip and tried to contain a moan.
“So many things I want to do to you, Eva. But I think this first time it’s important to make sure you’re as ready as you can be.”
He bent to suck her nipples in his mouth, laving them with his tongue, tugging and nipping and making her crazy with need. Had she ever been so wet? She didn’t think so.
His hand skimmed her body, and then he slipped a finger into the seam between her legs and sank into her wet heat.
“Oh my God,” she gasped.
When he skated a thumb over her clitoris, sparks burst behind her eyes.
“Think I need to put my mouth here,” he growled. “See if you taste as good as you feel.”
“Do whatever you want,” she whispered. “Just make me come.”
His chuckle was deep. “No worries about that, sweetheart. You’re going to come a lot before I’m finished with you.”
She thought he might put his mouth on her like he’d said, but he took her lips again, kissing her thoroughly and deeply. Then he skimmed his mouth over her jaw, down her throat, sucking her nipples with a thoroughness that made her want to cheer and scream at once.
The tension in her body grew tighter with every tug, but no way did she want to rush a single moment of her first time.
He slid down her body, following the trail of tattoos, her skin prickling with heat as he traced their loops and curves on the way to his destination.
When he spread her open with his thumbs, she couldn’t take her eyes off him. Their gazes locked. She’d never seen anything so magical as the sight of Jake Ryan between her legs, his mouth mere inches from her center.
“I want you to remember this night forever,” he told her, his voice husky with need. “Because I’m certain I will. I don’t want to be the only one.”
“You won’t be.”
He licked her, and she nearly came undone right that moment. Never—oh God, never—had she imagined it could feel like this. Jake sucked her clit and she saw stars.
There was no way she was going to last, no way she could endure more of his tongue without exploding. Jake licked and sucked her until she panted with the effort not to come so soon.
She lasted right up until he slipped two fingers inside her and curled them against her G-spot.
Eva exploded with a sharp cry.
He didn’t stop licking her, and she kept coming until her voice grew hoarse. When she finally opened her eyes, emotion welled at the look on his face.
Fierce and pleased at the same time. And possessive. Like he owned her. She hadn’t thought she was the kind of woman who would appreciate a man looking at her like that, but oh God, she definitely did.
He produced a condom from his pocket and tore it open.
“You were expecting this?” she asked. But she wasn’t upset. Far from it.
He grinned. “Hoping. Dreaming. Not expecting.”
He crawled up her body, his jeans still in place, his hard-on still massive, and kissed her. Tasting herself on his lips made a current of hot possessiveness wash through her. Mine, she thought. He’s mine.
Except it was more like she was his. Her soul knew his. Wanted his. They were alike. She felt complete with him. Even if he didn’t feel the same, she couldn’t regret this moment between them. It would always be special.
“Jake,” she breathed.
“Yeah?”
“If the rest is anything like that—well, I may never want to leave this house again.”