Chapter 19 #2
He shoved his jeans down, freeing his cock, and she drew in a breath at the size and beauty of it. She’d seen cocks before. In porn and a couple of times in person when biker dudes thought dropping their pants would make her hot, but she’d never seen one she wanted to explore like she did this one.
She wanted to touch it. Taste it. But all that would have to wait because he rolled on the condom and wrapped one of her legs around him as he positioned himself at her entrance.
“It’ll probably be uncomfortable the first time,” he said, amber eyes serious.
“I know.” She did know, and she trusted him. He reached between them and rubbed her clit, making little sparks shoot along her nerve endings as her breath caught.
He bent to kiss her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to pull him into her. He pushed forward slowly, his cock stretching her wide as he entered. There was a pinching sensation, a hot sting as flesh tore, and she gasped.
He stopped. “You okay?”
She was breathing hard, but only part of that was pain. The rest was excitement and the thrill of making love with this gorgeous man she’d once fantasized about. “Yes, please don’t stop.”
“Not stopping.” He pushed the rest of the way inside her until he was fully seated and she was stretched to the limit.
“It gets better now,” he whispered, flexing his hips and withdrawing a little before sliding in again.
“Oh,” she gasped as her body opened to him. “More. Please, more.”
He withdrew repeatedly, sliding inside her with a bit more force each time. He was capable of so much more, but he treated her with such care that she wanted to weep.
Firelight painted them in a warm glow as the flames flickered and danced. Jake taught her how to give and take, how to demand what she needed.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Right there. Oh, oh. Mmm…”
Her body tensed as he moved harder inside her. She was so close. So damn close. She didn’t want it to happen, because she didn’t want it to end, but she also craved it.
Jake seemed to know. He cupped her ass in one broad hand and shifted her beneath him, opening her as he slammed home deeper than before.
He filled her body, took control of her senses, and sent her flying into space. She fell apart in a shower of sparks that were so much better than when she took care of herself. Hot emotion swelled in her chest. She felt as if every atom of her being had been rearranged and made better.
She’d finally lost her virginity. This was something she would have told Heather about, but that was no longer possible. She mourned her sister, wished she’d had more time with her. But she didn’t, and she couldn’t let that loss ruin this moment.
It was more than she’d hoped for.
After all these years of feeling dead inside, dead to desire or the possibility of ever feeling normal again, she’d been awakened.
She wasn’t numb. Wasn’t broken.
Jake thrust into her one last time, groaning as he found his own release, driving her into the cushions as he pushed deep inside her. His mouth sought hers and they kissed for several moments. Then he sucked a nipple while she gasped at how sensitive it still was.
When he withdrew from her body and stood, she turned on her side as he walked away. Hot tears formed behind her eyelids.
Ridiculous. Stop.
She needed to play it cool, but she was having emotions here. So many emotions.
He wasn’t gone long before he returned and climbed onto the couch behind her, scooping her into his body so they pressed together, her back to his front as they watched the fire.
It felt nice. And it made her feel a little better that he still wanted to hold her close. That he wasn’t getting dressed and acting like what they’d just done was no big deal.
It was to her, even if he’d done it a million times before.
“Any regrets?” he asked, his breath tickling her ear as he pressed his mouth to a spot below it.
“About you? None at all.”
He ran his hand over her hip and then around to cup her pussy. She liked the look of his hand there. The feel.
“Not quite sure how you feel about this,” he growled in her ear, “But I’m thinking this is mine right now.”
The words made her chest squeeze, but in a good way. “For how long?”
“We can start with tonight, but I’m thinking I want more. If you do.”
She turned in his arms until she was facing him. The beauty of his features made her belly tighten. Evelyn Collier hadn’t stood a chance with him. Did Eva?
“I don’t know what any of this means, but I know I feel things for you I haven’t felt before. I trust you. I feel safe with you.”
She didn’t know what else to say. But she didn’t need to say anything. He knew.
He kissed her softly. “I scare you because I’m not what you envisioned, right? You’ve spent so much time with violent men that you decided you wanted a man who’d never committed an act of violence in his life—and never would.”
She dropped her gaze. “That’s right.”
“I’m not gonna lie, Eva. I’ve committed violence.
I’ve killed men—but I do it for the right reasons.
I’m not a criminal, and I’m not the man I was seven years ago.
I fight for freedom, for my country, for the rights our founding fathers granted us when they made this great nation.
I fight for justice, and I don’t give a good goddamn what color someone is or who they love so long as they’re good people and don’t commit crimes or acts of terrorism.
I won’t stop fighting for my country or to protect the people in it, so if that kind of violence is still too much for you, I understand. ”
Eva gazed up at him, at eyes that made her melt inside, and knew she’d never find another man who made her feel the way he did. Jake Ryan was worth more than all the accountants and lawyers in the world.
A safe man wasn’t a man who held a safe job—it was a man with inviolable principles who would do anything to keep you safe when you needed it.
“Maybe you aren’t the kind of man I thought I wanted… but you’re the kind of man I need. I don’t know what this is between us or where it’s going, but I want to find out.”
He cupped her ass in his hands and pulled her against his burgeoning cock. “I can tell you where it’s going right now, if you think you’re up for it again.”
She pressed herself closer. “I think that’s a great idea…”