Thirty-Nine
Saylor
The raging headache I’d suffered all day had finally eased. It had taken most of the day and a lot of water. The only problem now was I had no distraction. Every good memory I had of Jude would make tears fill my eyes. I missed him. The urge to unblock his number and call him, beg him to talk to me, was hard to resist.
Right now, however, I had been dragged from my house and my grieving by Bane freaking Cash.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I glared at Bane’s back.
He had shown up, demanding that I go with him. Gathe had apparently done something that he needed me to help him fix.
Since when did they want me to get involved in family stuff?
I had pointed that out, but he said if I didn’t go, then Gathe’s life might be in danger.
That got me slipping on my tennis shoes, then slipping my pistol into the waistband of my jeans, just in case this was dangerous, before leaving the house with him.
I might be wallowing in my sad existence, but I wasn’t about to let something happen to Gathe. Bane being the one to come get me meant it was serious. Seeing as he didn’t like me and he was also the second-in-command, behind Linc. Trivial errands weren’t his concern.
“How much farther do we have to go?” I asked, trudging behind him through the woods on the back of his father’s property.
At least, I thought it was still Cash property. It was way out here. We had driven past his dad’s house a while back, then been on foot for what felt like several miles. Probably was only one, but I didn’t like the woods, especially at night.
He stood and bent down over some brush, and I watched him, confused. Had he dropped something? If he had, it was too dark to see in that pile of stuff. I started to tell him he needed to use his phone’s flashlight when I heard a faint click, and then he looked up at me.
“Come on. Down here.”
Down where? I walked over to peek and see what the heck he was talking about when he lifted a trapdoor. Light spilled into the darkness, and stairs appeared, going underground. I knew then what this was. I had heard them talk about “the underground” and “cellar” for years, but I never expected to get to see it.
I didn’t ask if he was sure. Thoughts of Gathe being hurt had me climbing down into the surprisingly cool, damp concrete tunnel. Bane followed me and pointed up ahead. I went a little slower now, not sure what to expect. Cigarettes, earth, and another scent I couldn’t place met me, the farther I went.
A room appeared, and I stepped inside.
Sucking in a breath, I looked at the man they had hanging by his wrists from the ceiling. His front was caked with dried blood, and his head hung forward as his body appeared limp.
Had Gathe killed someone, and why was Bane showing me?
I started to ask him what the hell this was about when the man slowly lifted his head. Swollen black-and-blue eyes that could barely see out through slits. Battered cracked-open lips. Blood running from the nose all the way down his neck. It took me a moment, but then I saw it. Recognition slammed down on me, taking my breath. As I stood there, frozen, my eyes melded to his. Then, a wail tore out of me, and I ran to him.
“GET HIM DOWN!” I screamed, alarm, panic, and anguish overtaking any other emotion that had been controlling me before.
My hands gently touched his face.
Oh God, oh God, oh God. What had they done to him?
“NOW! GET HIM DOWN NOW!” I demanded, swinging around to see where the hell Bane was and why Jude was still hanging here.
“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed. “I am so sorry. This is my fault. Oh God, this is all my fault.”
“Move so I can get to him,” Bane said, standing behind me.
I nodded, stepping back, then stopping. “Don’t do anything else to hurt him,” I warned.
His eyes dropped to mine. “I came to get you, didn’t I?” He reached up and untied Jude’s hands with such precise skill that he made it look easy.
Jude stumbled forward, and I wrapped my arms around him to try and hold him up.
A grunt, mixed with a groan, left his battered lips.
“Here,” Bane said, clasping his hands on either side of Jude’s arms and leading him over to sit down on a stool, then leaning his back against the wall.
I moved Bane over so I could get in front of Jude. Standing between his legs, I held his head up by cupping his face. Tears dripped from my chin as I stared at the horrific things that had been done to him.
“Get Dr. Burl here,” I told Bane, not taking my eyes off Jude. Afraid he’d stop breathing. “DO IT!” I demanded.
“It’s going to be okay,” I assured him. “I’m getting you out of here. We have a doctor. He will fix everything that’s broken.”
A sob shook me as he continued to just stare. Had they damaged his brain? My eyes dropped to his mouth. His tongue. Oh God, his tongue. I closed my eyes and inhaled, trying not to completely fall apart.
“Bane, tell me that they did not slice out his tongue.” The words came out in a frantic rush.
“No, there’s a molar on the floor over here though. Probably the bleeding from that,” he replied so casually that I wanted to slam my fist in his stupid face.
I was going to kill them all.
“Tooth.” Jude’s raspy, barely there voice caused another sob.
I was trying not to cry. He was the one in pain. He needed me, but seeing him like this was another side of torment I hadn’t experienced.
“I’m-okay.” His words ran together.
“No, you’re not. But you will be,” I promised.
“We’re underground,” I heard Bane say behind me. “Broken bones, dehydration, blood loss.”
I winced, listening to the list.
“Hurry. Saylor is having a fucking breakdown.”
“Doc is coming,” I told him. “You’ll feel better soon. I didn’t know. I would have never let them hurt you. I am so sorry.” I wouldn’t be able to say that enough.
I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth to stifle more sobbing. He needed me. I had to get it together.
“What can I do now? Anything?” I asked.
“Water.” Another weak, raspy sound.
I swung my gaze back to Bane. “Do we have water?” I asked.
“No. We got ice.”
“What kind?”
He cocked a brow. “The kind you ice dead bodies with. Fucking ice, Saylor.”
I winced. “Is it in pieces?”
“I can break some up,” he replied, then walked out of the room.
I turned back to Jude. “Who did this?” I asked him. I needed to make sure I shot the right people.
“Doesn’t matter,” he replied.
“Yes, it does. This is my fault.”
One of his arms moved slightly, as if he were trying to get it closer to me. I reached down and picked up his hand as carefully as I could. The blue color was fading, but the broken skin on his wrists looked like raw meat. I bit my lip until I tasted blood to keep from breaking into a fit of sobs I couldn’t control. Once they were let loose, I wouldn’t be able to hold back.
Lowering my head, I pressed a kiss to the top of his hand. “I’m sorry,” I whispered again.
“I’m sor-ry.” He struggled to speak.
I shook my head. “No. You, what you did—different level. This is wrong. You can’t help what you feel. You didn’t deserve to be beaten because of it.”
God, what all had I said last night? Gathe. It was Gathe and Than. Than would have helped Gathe. Again, this was my fault. I had been drinking, and shit had flown from my mouth. Damn them!
“Here.” Bane handed me a plastic cup with small chips of ice.
I took it and picked one up. “I’m going to slide this in your mouth. Is that okay.”
“Yes.”
Easing it between his lips, I tried my best not to touch the cracked-open skin. He made a small noise, and I waited to see if he was going to be able to handle it. I didn’t know how much damage they’d done in his mouth.
“More.”
Relieved that this was working, I tried another of the smaller pieces. Leaning forward, I brushed my lips across his cheek. Needing to comfort him in some way. Not sure if he’d ever speak to me again when I got him free.
“More.”
I tried a larger chip this time.
“Do we have a wet cloth or something I can use to get the blood off his neck at least?” I asked Bane.
“We torture people for information and/or kill them down here. It’s not the fucking Marriott.”
I might shoot him too. Even if he had helped and brought me here. I just needed to inflict pain, and he had never been my favorite.
“S’okay,” Jude said.
I gave him more ice, then brushed the hair off his forehead. Running my hand through his hair. It seemed the only place where there was no blood.
“Feels good.” His voice was weak, but the raspy tone was gone. His throat not as dry.
“Me touching your hair?” I asked hopefully. Wanting to comfort him somehow, but not knowing what to do.
“Yes.”
I started at the top and slowly moved back through it again but down the other side. When my fingers hit something hard and matted hair stopped me, he made a pained sound, and I jerked my head back. That was blood.
“He has dried blood in his hair,” I told Bane.
He glanced up from his phone. “Where they hit him on the head to knock him out before they brought him here,” he replied, then looked back down at the screen in his hand.
“What?” I asked, hoping to God he was joking.
Bane’s annoyed gaze shot back up. “I spoke clearly, Saylor.”
“Why would they hit his head and knock him out?”
“Because that is typically what we do when we want to get someone quickly and without fuss.” His expression said he thought I was an idiot.
I took a steadying breath and turned back to Jude. “I bet you are really wishing you’d sent me to another church that first day,” I muttered, then used the palm of my hand to wipe at my soaked cheeks. “God, this is awful.”
The touch of his hand grabbed the side of my thigh lightly. “No. Never that.”
My eyes filled up immediately, and my mouth turned down at the corners, unable to help myself. I wanted to throw my arms around him and weep. But since he had been beaten and was suffering because of me, I couldn’t touch him. When Bane helped Doc Burl get him out of here, he’d probably ask that I wasn’t allowed near him. Right now, I was just all he had.
“Saylor.” My name was stronger than the other things he’d said, but still a struggle.
“Yes. You want more ice?” I asked, reaching into the cup to get another slice.
“Look at me.”
I lifted my eyes to his, wishing I could see the lush green color looking back at me.
“I love you.”
The three words I would have given anything to hear him say just two hours ago. But not like this. Not when he had been beaten and tortured to get him to say it. That wasn’t the love I wanted.
“No, you don’t. And no one is going to touch you again or hurt you because of it. I swear. They will all be recovering from the gunshot wound I intend to give them. Now, eat some more ice, and don’t worry about telling me things you think I want to hear.”
I slipped the melting ice into his mouth.
The hand that had touched my thigh closed around mine. I dropped my eyes to look at him holding on to me. The horror that was his wrist sent another wave of misery through me.
“I love you.” His words were stronger now.
I closed my eyes not sure I was sane enough to survive that.
“Jude. Don’t. Please.”
His hand tightened on my wrist. “I chose you.”
The bitterness in my chest felt foreign right now.
“You chose me after your life depended on it.” A humorless laugh passed my lips. “It’s fine. I will recover eventually. Find the courage to open my heart again, or maybe, like you, I can make some vows and become a nun.”
I just ignored Bane’s bark of laughter behind me.
“Not a priest. I chose you.”
Maybe he was hallucinating from the blunt force trauma to his head. I’d tell Dr. Burl when he got here. That should be checked.
I ran my hands through the hair on his non-injured side and smiled at him the best I could. “You were a priest two days ago. You’re still a priest. I think your head injury is causing some confusion.”
The hand on my wrist tightened, and his other hand rested on my arm. “Dimples, I chose you. Told the Berrys. Sent my request to the bishop on Sunday morning to start my laicization. I want you.” He paused, and a small cough came from the back of his throat. “I love you.”
I didn’t want to keep making him talk like this. His words sounded sincere, but I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to believe them.
“That’s not from the hit on the head. They talk out of their head about weird shit when that happens. He sounds sane,” Bane said behind me.
I begged to differ.
“Considering that he was almost beaten to death over me, I’m thinking his wanting me isn’t sane.”
The corners of Jude’s mouth twitched, and then he winced. “Deserved it. Your face on Sunday. Deserved it.”
I shook my head. “No. You did not deserve this.”
And I still wasn’t sure he knew what he was saying.
The sound of the trapdoor opening was a relief. Dr. Burl was here. I watched the door, continuing to cup Jude’s face, waiting for him anxiously. He needed to walk faster.
But it wasn’t Dr. Burl who walked into the room.
Gathe’s eyes swung from where Jude had been hanging to where I held him. Anger surged inside me, and I jumped up, spinning around to stand in front of Jude while pulling out my gun and pointing it at Gathe.
“Stay the fuck back, you crazy son of a bitch!” I warned.
He held up both hands, not reaching for his own gun. “Whoa,” he said. “Why are you down here?” He paused, and his eyes shifted to Bane, staring at him, completely unaffected by any of this.
“You brought her down here?” Gathe asked him.
“Yeah, I did. You got a problem.” It wasn’t a question, and Gathe knew it.
His eyes swung back to meet mine. “Put the gun down, Saylor. You’re not gonna shoot me.”
I inched it just enough to miss his arm before pulling the trigger.
“FUCK!” he shouted, jumping back. “Are you serious? I did this for you. That sorry asshole hurt you.”
I let out a flat laugh. “This isn’t how you handle it. You don’t kill people. How many girls’ hearts have you broken? Dozens. No one ever beat you over it.”
He tilted his head to the side. “This isn’t about some random girls. It’s about you.”
“I warned him that Gathe and Than would kill him if he made you cry again,” Bane said behind me.
Jude’s hand grabbed my waist this time, and I turned to look back at him.
“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “Put the gun down.”
I didn’t want to. But his hand squeezed my hip, and something about that gesture, his silent pleading, got to me. I lowered it.
“Only for you,” I said. Then turned to look back at Gathe. “I won’t forgive you for this.”
He nods. “Fine. But you’ll see in time that I did it because I love you.”
“That’s not the way to handle it. Regardless of how he feels about me, what choice he makes, I love him. So, that means I don’t want him beaten and hanging in a freaking dungeon.”
Jude’s hand squeezed my hip again. I turned my back to Gathe, not wanting to look at him.
“I love you.” He repeated the words.
“Fuck, Saylor, how many times does he have to say it?” Bane grumbled.
I reached out and brushed his swollen jaw. “You’re hurt. You’ve been through a lot.”
The sound of a door and more footsteps. The doc was finally here.
I bent down and kissed his head. “You’re gonna be okay. He’s here now.”