Chapter 7
Hank
“Ricky!” I swore under my breath as Iola’s little terror—er, terrier—humped Diva, causing the husky to wail dramatically.
Diva could easily bite Ricky’s head off, but she fell over onto her side, mournfully crying, while Ricky assaulted her.
I jogged across the doggy daycare and pulled him off, his little hips still pumping thin air. “You’re such a horndog,” I scolded. “What would your mommy think of this behavior?”
Ricky yipped and licked my chin, drawing a reluctant smile.
“Yeah, you’re a pain in the ass, but you’re cute.”
He wiggled, eager to get back to the ground and harass other dogs. I’d already had to break up one fight, though, and I wasn’t eager for a repeat, so I carried him toward the door.
“I think you need a time-out.”
There were no grooming jobs right now, so I took him out front and set him on the counter. Sammi raised an eyebrow from her spot at the computer, where she was catching up on some accounting work.
“Ricky, are you being a naughty boy again?”
“He’s rotten to the core,” I said in a light voice that made him wag his tail as if I’d praised him. “But he looks cute doing it.”
Sammi laughed. “He does, and Iola probably lets him get away with murder at home.”
“But surely she doesn’t let him hump her leg all day.”
She snickered. “Did he get you again?”
“Only three times,” I grumbled. “But this last time, it was Diva.”
“That explains the wailing. I thought you’d finally lost it over his unwanted attentions.”
“Ha-ha,” I said dryly. “I am secure in my manhood. I can handle a guy’s attention. I mean, who can blame him, right? I’m a catch.”
The memory of Jamie peeking up at me through his eyelashes resurfaced. His attentions had made me far more nervous than little Ricky’s—but then Sammi didn’t know anything about that.
She smirked. “It’s good to have self-confidence, but I’m pretty sure Ricky would hump anyone, big guy. His tastes aren’t exactly discerning.”
I snorted. “I’m kind of relieved it isn’t reserved only for me.”
Ricky tried to take a flying leap off the counter, and I grabbed him, keeping him in place. Sammi tossed me the box of treats, and I bribed him into settling down with a rawhide chew.
Yapping started up in the daycare room. I groaned. “I guess Ricky and I will rejoin the masses.”
Sammi pushed back in her office chair. “I need a break from this, anyway. Planning this dog festival was supposed to be fun, but it’s a lot more work than I expected.”
“Do you need some help?”
She paused on her way to the door, giving me eyes that would have rivaled Bruno’s when I held a treat over his head. “Would you really? It’s pretty time-consuming.”
“I don’t have much else to do,” I said with a shrug.
She frowned. “I thought you signed up for matchmaking.”
“I did, and it was a disaster.”
“Seriously? What happened?”
The barking grew in intensity. I waved her toward the door. “Tell you later.”
Sammi went inside, the big alpha voice coming out. “Settle down!”
There were a couple of more barks, a whine, and a growl.
But within two minutes, she had them calmed down.
Whenever we had a truly problematic dog, we removed them from the crowd.
We didn’t like to keep anyone locked up in a kennel, but occasionally pooches needed a time-out.
Ricky was lucky we weren’t too busy to spoil him out here instead.
The doorbells chimed, and Iola came in. I was relieved that Ricky would soon be out of my hair, but nerves fluttered in my gut as she smiled brightly at me.
“Hank, dear, so glad to see you today! I’ve been wondering if you ever set up that matchmaking date?”
“I did,” I said cautiously.
“How did it go?” She leaned in over the counter, patting Ricky’s head, but 98 percent of her attention locked in on me. “Was it a love match?”
I laughed, but it sounded edgy to my own ears. “Not exactly, Iola.”
She pursed her lips. “Well, shoot. We don’t always get it right on the first try. What was the problem? Jamie is lovely.”
“Jamie is lovely,” I agreed carefully, “for a man.”
“What?”
“I don’t date men, Iola. You said you were going to match me with a woman.”
“And I did! Jamie Westerly, a hostess at the Dinner Bell. She’s new to town like you, and I thought you two would hit it off nicely.”
I shook my head. “That’s not who showed up, unless one of us is very confused about gender. My Jamie bakes dog treats.” I cleared my throat. “I mean, not my Jamie, but the Jamie who showed up for the date.”
Iola’s forehead furrowed. “Dog treats? I don’t know—”
“Jamie Mathis,” Sammi said as she came through the daycare door. “He works for Darling Dish Catering, but he makes the best dog treats. He sometimes gives out a few at the dog park.”
“Ohhh, Jamie Mathis!” Iola nodded. “He’s been waiting for a match for weeks, poor thing. The pool of queer men is just too small.” She eyed me. “Are you sure you can’t date a man, dear? He’d be a great match for you.”
“Very sure.”
“You didn’t like him at all?” she asked, sounding so sad that I couldn’t lie.
“Well, yeah, of course I liked him. He’s great, but I’m not— I mean, I don’t, uh…”
“You can just say you’re straight,” Sammi said dryly. “It’s not offensive.” She snorted a laugh. “Oh man, I’d love to have been a fly on the wall at that meeting.”
“We met at the dog park,” I said testily. “You’d have needed to be a fly on a dog turd.”
“Charming,” she said.
“But accurate.”
Iola clucked. “Well, I just don’t know how this happened. I set you up with Jamie Westerly.”
“I texted Jamie at the number you gave me. Clearly, there was a mixup.”
She shook her head. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted Marilyn with admin responsibilities! The lady has lost one too many marbles. Gosh. I’m sorry, Hank, but I’ll send you the correct Jamie’s info right away.”
“That’s okay,” I said. “I think I’ll quit while I’m behind.”
“Oh, but she’s lovely!” Iola protested. “We won’t make the same mistake again. You’ll have a nice time, I swear.”
Despite everything, I’d had a nice time with Jamie Mathis. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy, and we did click over our shared love of dogs. If nothing else, I’d gained a friend.
But I really had no desire to tempt the fates with another blind date. “I’ll think about it,” I hedged. “No promises.”
She patted my arm. “You do that.”
She picked up Ricky, exchanging sloppy kisses that made me cringe no matter how many times I saw it. Then she shot a glance at my boss.
“Work on him for me, Sammi. Hank deserves happiness, and at Matchmaking Mamas we offer a guaranteed HEA or your money back.”
“I didn’t pay any money…”
“Not yet.” She smiled sharply. “We only ask our happily matched couples to donate to the cause. Thanks to Laurie’s generosity, we don’t need much.”
“Laurie?”
“He’s a very important man,” she said with a sniff. “Very wealthy. He married Tucker Ellis, so he invests in our little town.”
“Oh.”
She eyed me. “All our matches eventually contribute whatever they can afford.” She smiled. “Give us a chance, and you’ll happily be giving too. After all, love is worth everything, don’t you agree?”
Love that actually lasted? Absolutely. The messy emotions I ended up tangled in more often than not? Well, maybe it was for the best that my date hadn’t worked out after all.
“Love is priceless,” Sammi said when I paused too long.
“That’s right,” Iola said, nodding sharply. “Listen to Sammi. Don’t waste your chance at love.”
“Uh, okay.”
She took Ricky out the door, and I turned a look at Sammi. “Thanks a lot.”
She chuckled. “That’s what you get for not telling me your date was a bust! What the hell, man? I have to hear about it from Iola?”
I grimaced. “It’s awkward, you know? I feel bad. Jamie was really sweet.”
“He’s the sweetest,” Sammi said.
“He was so disappointed.”
She smirked. “I bet he was.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Because I’m such a nice guy?”
“Because you’ve got a hot ass,” she said. “Obviously, I’m a lesbian, so I can say this without a sexual harassment lawsuit.”
I laughed. “Uh, yeah, thanks?”
“Poor Jamie.” She shook her head. “He’s adorable. Someone should have snapped him up by now.”
“Yeah,” I murmured, thinking of that little nose he’d crinkled as he gazed up at me in the park Saturday. Of the long lashes he’d peeked through and the full pouty lips when he’d sulked. I couldn’t argue. Jamie was adorable, if you went for that kind of thing.
That kind of thing being a guy with a dick. Which I didn’t. But I still felt bad for the guy. He deserved better than a date who couldn’t be attracted to him.
Iola should be focused on finding him another match, not me. Jamie was right. If I really wanted to meet someone, I could do it easily enough. I hadn’t really tried. Not like him.
“Tell me about this dog festival,” I said to Sammi. “I might as well use the time I won’t be spending with either Jamie.”
“Okay,” she said, too eager for my help to pester me about getting out there again. “Well, it’s called Dogtober Days, and there’s an informational meeting Sunday afternoon. It’s Abby’s birthday, so if you could cover it—”
“Consider it done.”
She smiled at me. “Well, I guess your bad luck is my good fortune, huh? Thanks, Hank. Maybe you’ll meet someone through festival planning, and it’ll turn out this whole matchmaking mix-up is for the best.”
I shook my head. “Let’s forget romance and concentrate on the dogs. They’ve got more than enough love to go around.”
“Especially for you,” she teased. “You’re the dog whisperer.”
“More like the dog briber,” I said with a chuckle.
But she wasn’t wrong. I’d always been better with dogs than people. With the matchmaking gone so wrong, I could save the emotional energy I’d just pour into another failed relationship.
I’d save my love for the dogs—because they’d always return it without reservation.