Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
WINDSOR
New Year’s Eve
Vic was in Orla’s place making a cup of coffee when she heard the front door fly open and a loud commotion in the hallway. She poked her head around the door to see her spirited housemate throwing her bags and coat onto the floor, then stumbling to the lounge with an anguished groan. On following her through, and finding her friend face down on the sofa, Vic couldn’t help but laugh.
‘I am never fecking drinking again,’ Orla stated dramatically, running her free hand through her unruly black curls. Vic was not in the mood for going anywhere, let alone wishing anyone a happy new year, and she breathed a huge sigh of instant relief.
‘Ma O’Malley decided that a leaving party for her firstborn in the local pub was a clever idea. I mean, Ireland is only an hour’s flight away and I’m already booked to go over on my birthday. You would think she’s never seeing me again. Anyways, I’m ruined. I had a whisky on the flight home to try and ease my head, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt this shit before in my whole life.’
‘If I had a pound for every time I’ve heard you say that… Coffee?’
Orla looked up at her friend. ‘Bejasus, you look pretty banjaxed yourself.’
Vic took a deep breath. This was her chance to tell all. But once she did, their friendship would be different and she didn’t want it to be different. Maybe just one more day. Tears rushed to the back of her eyes. ‘I haven’t slept much. Nate has gone AWOL and…’
‘He’ll be back. You know what he’s like. Shit, I take it you told him about Blondie, then?’
Vic nodded. Telling him she had been unfaithful would have been like telling him she had won the lottery now she knew what she knew. One thing her dad had taught her was that in life there was always a solution to everything – except for death. He should have added death and HIV because, at the moment, it felt nothing was going to be easy now that she knew she had a virus with such fear and misunderstanding connected to it.
Orla groaned. ‘I think I just need to get into bed for a bit; a nana nap will sort me right out and I’ll feel grand later.’
Vic bit her lip. ‘Orla. I’m sorry to let you down but I don’t think I’m up for a big one later. What with me and Nate and…’
‘Don’t be stupid, the craic is what you need. It’ll do you good to let your hair down.’
‘Says the woman who’s never drinking again,’ Vic replied flatly, then shouted back as she walked through to the kitchen, ‘I’m really sorry, Orla, but I’m going to go to Mum’s for the night. All I feel like doing is watching Jools and his Hootenanny and snuggling up with Chandler.’
Taking Orla’s silence as a sulk, Vic walked back through to the lounge, shook her head, and managed a smile. For, lying flat out on the sofa, was her beautiful friend, absolutely sparko, a thin line of dribble running from her mouth.
Vic turned into her mum’s road to see an RSPCA van parked on the driveway.
‘For fuck’s sake,’ she said aloud, standing still for a second to gather her thoughts ready for the fight to keep Chandler where he really did belong.
Tentatively entering the house, Vic saw no sign of Chandler, or any occupants from the van, for that matter – just her mother at the kitchen table, a large vodka and tonic in hand.
‘You said they’d come and take him.’ Kath emitted a huge ugly sob. ‘I always feed him, and I know I don’t walk him as much as I should, but he loves running around the garden and he’s healthy, Vic, and happy. I know he is. What am I going to do without my boy?’ She began to wail.
‘Slow down, it’s OK.’ Vic continued talking to her mum as if she were a child. ‘Where is Chandler? Did they take him? Where is he, Mum? The van is still out there. I don’t get it.’
‘I don’t know. I was upstairs, came down and he was gone.’
‘So you didn’t let anyone in?’
‘No.’ Kath made a noise of complete despair.
‘Was the back door open?’
‘Yes, but they can’t get round there. Albie told me to keep the back gate locked at all times, and I always do.’
Vic went to the front room to see the van pulling off the drive. As soon as it was out of sight she marched around to Joti and banged on her front door. So much for all the love thy neighbour, happy Christmas bollocks, the pretty new neighbour was showing her true colours now, wasn’t she? Joti opened her door wearing a nurse’s uniform, with a splodge of mud on her face and what looked like a twig sticking out of her hair.
‘I knew you were trouble. All this pretence of?— ’
Joti put her hand up to stop Victoria’s tirade of abuse and said calmly, ‘Get in here, Vicki. Don’t give those bastards opposite the satisfaction of another show.’
Victoria frowned in confusion but did as she was told. Walking through the house and through the double doors into Joti’s garden, her face broke into a huge grin, for there was Chandler contentedly chewing on one of his favourite bone snacks, with not a care in the world.
‘I don’t understand.’ Vic was now full of both joy and bewilderment. ‘I thought that?—’
‘Vicki, you need to trust me. I’m the last person who’d want to see your mum even sadder than she already is.’
‘So what happened, then?’
‘Well, someone clearly wanted to make trouble and report your mum. Luckily, I’d just come off shift and saw the van pull up. I launched myself under the back hedge, snuck in your mum’s back door, grabbed Chandler and his food and water bowl, then ran to stop them in front of your mum’s front door before she had a chance to open it.’ Joti took an exaggerated breath. ‘I explained that Kath had had some health problems and that I had now taken charge of Chandler’s care until she got back on her feet.’
‘Oh, Joti.’ Vic burst into tears. ‘I’m sorry I’m such a bitch. Look at you. You really are a real-life angel.’
‘And a tired one at that. I work in A it’s hardly lifesaving – or life-changing for that matter.’
‘I disagree. Creativity takes courage. So few people stick at doing what they love.’
There was a loud bark from the garden. ‘Chandler?’ Kath Sharpe screamed and ran out into her back garden. ‘Chandler? Is that you, my precious boy? ’
Vic gasped. ‘Shit. Poor Mum. We forgot about her.’
As soon as he saw Vic, Chandler’s tail started wagging furiously, and he jumped up and barked even more loudly.
‘Chandler? Chandler!’ Kath shouted.
‘We’re coming, Mum.’ Vic grinned at Joti.
‘Here. Quick.’ The nurse handed Vic a carrier bag containing the dog bowls. ‘Take this little fella to where he rightly belongs.’
‘I’d love to talk some more,’ Vic said, without thought.
‘Me too.’ Joti put an arm on Victoria’s. ‘And I need to start getting my life back on track in the new year, which includes exercise, so I’ll make sure I get some walks in with this little fella, if that’s OK.’
Vic suddenly felt an unexplained closeness around this clearly kind-hearted woman, and began to well up again. ‘Of course. That’s amazing. Thank you so much. Oh, and thanks for getting a bed downstairs for Mum, and the Christmas food. I take it that was your intervention, too?’
‘I’d love to take the credit, but no, not me. Although I did hear an almighty crash through the wall the other afternoon.’
‘Oh, Jesus.’ Vic put her hand to her head.
‘I couldn’t get an answer round the front, so I shimmied through the hedge and luckily the back door was open, as it usually is, so I let myself in.’
Vic tutted. ‘Thank you, thank you so much.’
‘Your mum was anaesthetised with vodka by the look of her. I checked her over; she was lucky. Just bruised, nothing broken. I had to get off to work so I was relieved to see your brother arrive a while later.’
‘I’m sorry for you having to get involved. How about we share numbers and then you can just call me if you need me? If that’s OK, of course.’
With numbers shared, Joti’s voice softened. ‘It is such a good thing that your mum has a bed downstairs now, though – less of a worry. She’s not of a mind to stop drinking, I take it?’
‘Sadly not. It would take something pretty big to get her even to start thinking about it, I tell you.’
‘Right. I’d better get my hair washed.’ Joti pulled the stray twig out of it. ‘I’m filthy.’
‘Have you got plans tonight, then?’ Vic picked her phone up off the side.
‘Yes, a hot chocolate, a comfy sofa and trash TV. I’m exhausted.’
‘Same! Happy New Year, Joti.’
‘Happy New Year, Vicki.’
Vic grimaced, took a breath to say something, but decided to let the ‘ki’ go. More important was the mystery: if it wasn’t Joti or Albie who had helped move the bed and get the Christmas supplies, then who was it?
Leaving her mum with a mug of strong coffee and a large slice of Christmas cake, in the hope that she might sober up for the evening, Vic made her way to the river path with a tail-wagging terrier. As she headed towards the town, it sounded like the New Year’s revelry had already begun.
On reaching her favourite bench, Vic lengthened Chandler’s lead so he could have a good sniff around, then retrieved her mobile from her bag. Still no word from Nate, which was giving her a pain in her stomach now, since she had called him every day, followed by a goodnight message, but got nothing back. She had even phoned his dad to wish him an early happy New Year in the hope he might let slip that Nate was with him, but he was just heading to the airport for a week in the Canaries with his partner, so no clues there.
Nate wasn’t at work, either. She had rung – imitating a call from a potential frozen dessert supplier – to be told that he wouldn’t be back in until the ninth of January. She was sure he would have told her that he had booked a week off, so that worried her even more. On the other hand, after she had left him the message telling him it was Danny who had given her HIV, maybe Nate had got tested, and he was positive and didn’t know how to react – because she sure as hell still didn’t. He probably hated her, in fact. His previous declaration of three little words, null and voided by the three little letters that had caused such a maelstrom of suffering already. Suddenly big, silent tears began to fall slowly down her face. As if sensing her distress, Chandler came to her feet and whimpered. Then, out of nowhere, somebody was standing right in front of her.
‘Come on, sweet Victoria, let’s get in the warm and get us both a nice hot drink, shall we?’ Norman the Jack Russell barked his approval as Jake led the way to the festively lit Lazy Daze , the boat which he called home . Once inside, Vic sat down in one of his comfortable armchairs and felt an instant sense of both familiarity and relief. The dogs tumbled around the floor playfighting until Jake threw them a chew each and they lay down in front of the wood burner, paws outstretched, munching away. Jake sat down opposite Vic and handed over a steaming, milky drink. ‘Funny to say, but it’s a dry boat in here, as you know. Not even a sherry trifle at Christmas. I hope you like Ovaltine?’
‘This is just perfect, thank you.’ Vic cradled the steaming mug in both hands. ‘Alcohol isn’t helping to numb anything at the moment, anyway.’ The kindness of the man she had known since childhood caused her to cry again. ‘I’m sorry,’ she blubbered.
Jake went to the toilet, grabbed her a wad of toilet paper and set a Simon there is a story. I lived down in Wiltshire. I bought a huge pile of an old detached house. I’d made my money on the stock markets. I had everything anyone could want. I could holiday wherever I wanted. Dress like a right dandy if I wanted to.’ He laughed. ‘My parents lived nearby. I loved the fact that I could treat them, too. Paid off their mortgage and made sure they never wanted for anything. Sadly, no siblings. Mum had wanted more kids, but it didn’t happen. I was in my early thirties and living like a king.’
Vic leant down to stroke the now-sleeping dogs. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for what was to come, because her gut and Jake’s tone were telling her that there was not going to be a happy ending to this story.
‘I decided to travel whilst I was still young. And that was when I met the most beautiful soul. Her name was Malini. She had the eyes of a doe, and the longest black mane of straight, shiny hair that I’d ever seen. Like some mesmerising sea creature, she was. I fell immediately in love. In fact, we fell in love so hard that I realised at last I had found a reason for my life. Love just took over.’ His face suddenly fell. He reached forward to turn the music off.
‘You don’t have to tell me, Jake – it’s fine.’
‘I want you to know, Victoria.’
‘OK.’ Vic put her empty mug down on the small hand-crafted table in front of them.
‘Mum and Dad were minding the house when I went travelling because I had a couple of dogs then, and they really did love it at my place. The grounds were impressive, and they both enjoyed pottering about together in the pretty walled garden. It had an indoor swimming pool, too, so for them, it was like being on holiday themselves.’
‘Sounds idyllic.’ Vic slipped her boots off.
Tears filled Jake’s eyes. ‘There was a fire.’ His voice wobbled. ‘The night before me and Malini were due to travel home. A spark from the huge inglenook fireplace took hold whilst they were sleeping. I lost them all: Mum, Dad and the dogs. Probably a good job they all went, really, because if any of them had survived, those who were left would have been bereft – and that includes the dogs.’
‘Oh, Jake. I am so sorry.’
‘Yes. So am I.’ Jake looked for his tobacco to roll a cigarette .
‘How do you ever get over something like that?’ Vic’s face was full of compassion.
‘You don’t, Vic.’
‘And you and Malini?’
‘She was amazing, a complete rock. Flew back to England with me, helped me with the funerals and sorting out the insurances, et cetera. We lived in a rented place for a while, but it appears that sometimes love doesn’t always win. Because in this instance, grief did.’ Jake’s face contorted in anguish. ‘I became hopelessly lost, and I began to drink heavily. Malini tried – she tried so hard – but I wasn’t a nice person to be around, and I don’t blame her for leaving.’
‘So, how come you are here? What brought you to Windsor?’
‘I studied at Eton many moons ago and I remembered the boats along here, and how I loved living near to this river. I wanted to be a nomad. In my drunken haze I thought that was a good thing to be. No houses to lose, no people to lose. Just me and the boat.’
‘And Malini – did you ever see her again?’
‘I knew the drink or not seeing her again would kill me, so I got myself sober and I tried to find her for years. But there was no internet then and she loved to travel. In the end I paid a private investigator to go to her hometown and see what he could discover.’ His voice tailed off. ‘And he found her.’
Vic put her hand to her heart. ‘That’s amazing.’
‘Not that amazing, because she wasn’t actually there. He found out that she was married, with a little girl, living in Australia. Timings added up that she had waited less than a year to get hitched and have a kid after being with me. He was a doctor.’ Jake shook his head. ‘So at least she married well.’
‘And you didn’t want to speak to her again?’
‘Of course I did. I wrote her a letter, in such a way that if her husband did see it, he wouldn’t have known that we had been lovers – just friends – but included enough information to let her know that I was sober and that I still loved her and would wait for her as long as she was on this planet.’
‘Oh, Jake, that is so romantic. Please tell me she replied.’
‘Nothing. For two years, I checked that PO box every single morning. I was so torn but also so hurt. I figured if she had really loved me, she would have waited for me, or at least replied to the letter. It was a raw love, Vic. One that, if you haven’t already experienced it, I really hope that you do, at least once in life. We said we had found a “diamond love” because it sparkled. Our chemistry was effervescent. We even noticed that our eyes shone brighter in each other’s company. Which is why I was so surprised that she moved on so quickly and didn’t reply.’
‘Aww, Jake, that is so sad.’
‘Yes, really sad. But I had to get on, and there’s not been one minute that I have regretted living here. Money is of no interest to me. I like the simple life. I love waking up to birds singing, the water sloshing and all this nature. And Norman’s a great little companion. Nineteen sixty-nine, I arrived. Sober and ready to sail off down the Thames.’ He laughed. ‘And then I met your mother.’ His voice tailed off again and he jumped up. ‘Good gosh, it’s eight o’clock already. Won’t she be wondering where you are?’
Vic leapt up too. ‘Shit, yes. We need to eat, and I need to feed this little man, too.’ She looked down at the sleeping pair by her feet. ‘They’ve been such good boys.’
She put the lead on the snoozing little terrier, who shot up and started running around her feet, barking. Norman joined in, the two of them causing a right old commotion.
‘Send her my good wishes, won’t you?’ Jake squeezed Vic’s shoulder. ‘Your mum, that is, and hope I didn’t bore you too much. I don’t tell many people my pitiful life story, you know.’
‘I’m glad you did.’ Vic squeezed his arm and slipped her boots back on. What a kind and caring man Jake Turner was. Clever, too. She had only known him at a surface level before. Maybe he had been hoping that with his outpouring of truth she would share what was troubling her, as she had quite often used that tactic in the past with friends. Sadly, she felt her truth was so huge that even learning about the trauma of dead parents and dogs and lost loves couldn’t release it. Not yet.
Jake opened up the tiny front door and helped Vic and Chandler onto the deck. ‘It’s been so good to see you, Victoria, and how about instead of worrying about what you can’t control, shift your energy to what you can create, eh? Short of that, just breathe.’
Suddenly feeling a stronger sense of self through Jake’s own resilience over adversity, Vic carried Chandler off the boat and placed him down gently on the river path. Waiting a minute for a pleasure boat blaring out its party music to pass, she looked up at the wise and distinguished white-haired gentleman in front of her and smiled.
He smiled right back. ‘Happy New Year, Victoria.’
‘Happy New Year, Jake.’