Chapter 12 #2
The room falls silent. No one knows what to say, and I’m not taking a chance.
Instead, I take a gulp of water while I try to ignore the gut feeling that everyone is looking at me, like they know my secret.
My head is screaming that they’re all accusing me right now with every innocent glance.
Gods, I want to duck under the table and disappear, to become nothing.
On top of that, it’s been hell having to be around Zachary.
He’s being too nice. I don’t deserve that.
Part of me would feel better, more in place, if he was still questioning me. I don’t deserve to be here at all.
The quiet is too much. No one knows what to say, and all but one face is somber and soured by Hayden’s absence. Super Old Gran is at the end of the table smiling away like nothing could be better, but she doesn’t look entirely present.
“Have you seen Hayden’s room?” Zachary speaks up from across the table.
It’s a weird question, sudden for the middle of dinner, but there’s an easy answer.
“No.” I shrug.
“Let me show you.” Zachary slides his chair back and gets up. His eyes look at me expectantly, and a second later I’m up. Why are you saving me from this awkwardness?
“Oh… O-okay,” I stutter and look to his mom. For some reason I feel like I need to be excused first. She grins and dips her head, so I get up and meet him at the edge of the hallway.
I don’t have a clue where I’m going, so I stay a step behind.
Why does he want to show me Hayden’s room?
Is he trying to make me slip, to give myself away?
I can’t shake the feeling there’s an alternative motive.
Was it all a ruse to make me feel comfortable, to make me trust him so I might say something unreasonable?
“It was getting way too serious in there,” Zachary says once we’re out of earshot. “I had to get out.”
“Yeah,” I mutter. But still, why take me here? “I mean, I get it though.”
“Sure.” Zachary nods. “But still.”
A meow squeaks around the corner before a little blue-gray kitten prances into view. Oh my gods, they’re so cute. Then as quickly as it appeared, it sees me and runs the other direction.
“Ah,” I sigh.
“He’s skittish,” Zachary says.
“And so cute! Is that Artemis?” I ask. I think I remember him telling Mom about his Russian Blue kitty cat being Artemis.
“Yeah.” He grins. “Rhaenyra is around here somewhere.”
“I love kitties,” I squeal. I want one so bad, but Mom always says no.
“You like animals?” he asks.
“Uh, yeah. I need a cat familiar,” I tell him. Every witch needs a familiar.
“Wait!” Zachary grins big and turns back around. “My room first, then.”
“Uh…sure.” I shrug and follow him back down the hall to the door we just passed.
I cross the threshold and…wait. This is his bedroom? It’s massive. You could fit two—no, three of my rooms in here. And there’s a skylight in the ceiling. It’s like a moonroof in a car, but in his room. And it’s so clean and tidy.
“You have a king-size bed?” My mouth hangs open.
“California king,” he corrects me.
“Asshole.” I shake my head. “I’ve got a twin. And it’s from the consignment store.”
“I…” Zachary tenses up, and immediately I realize what I’ve done.
“It’s good, it’s comfy. Your room is so cool though! It’s so nice. And green.”
There are plants everywhere. Ferns and shrubs, flowers and vines.
Splatters of color dot the vegetation, from big purple orchid blooms and pink hyacinth to white daisies and some bright blue and white blossom I’ve never seen before.
But somehow, despite the plants being everywhere, it doesn’t look cluttered.
“A little.” Zachary laughs and the weirdest thing happens. My nerves calm a little. It’s gentle, like a springtime melody. “Yeah, I like plants…and gardening…and basically anything nature.”
“You’re in the perfect place then,” I say. “Your house is surrounded by it.”
“Isn’t everyone’s up here?” he smirks.
“Fair,” I agree. Except the rest of ours are set within view of other houses, or power lines, or some state road. Here it’s like you’ve stepped out of the world into a wholly separate universe. “Yours is cooler though.”
“Eh.” He shrugs, and his eyes dip toward my chest.
A tingle rises in my throat and I clamp my teeth together. What are you…
“I really like your necklace,” Zachary says. “Are those amethysts inside it?”
“Huh?” I blurt. His eyes are back up again, and his smile is soft and kind. “Thank you. And, yeah. Just little tiny stones.”
I’m about to tell him how it’s my anxiety necklace. How the amethyst is packed inside with cedarwood, horsetail, and lavender, and how it gives me calming energy when I need it, but I stop. He doesn’t care about all that.
“My Aunt Eliza wears a lot of jewelry like that. I love the crescent moon stuff,” Zachary tells me.
Maybe he would know some about the metaphysical. His aunt is a witch too. He might have grown up learning about it, unless Mary-Anne and Randall didn’t let him, but I don’t know how all that works here.
“I have a bunch like these. With different crystals and herbs in them, but I usually wear this one,” I admit. It’s become a habit. I’m not sure if it’s because it works or because it’s my prettiest one, but I do love it.
“Wait.” Zachary angles his cheek toward me and pooches his lips. “Are you a witch? Wiccan?”
“I am, but not Wiccan. Just a witch, well, a Norse witch, a Norse Kitchen Witch.” I keep adding to it, hoping that he’s good with it. Please be good with it.
“That’s cool! Aunt Eliza is too. Except she’s Wiccan, I think, and maybe a Green Witch…” Zachary seems excited. “I’ve never met a Norse witch though. Who are your gods?”
Did he just ask who my gods were? It wasn’t, Oh my God that’s weird, or Norse, really? Or, A witch? It was who are your gods. I might be in lo— No! Nope. Stop right there!
“Odin, Freyja, Heimdall, Odr, and others.” I reel myself in. No one usually cares. “I pray mainly to Freyja though.”
“That’s so neat. Freyja’s Thor’s mom, right?” Zachary asks.
“No,” I say. It’s a common misconception.
Thanks to Marvel everyone knows Thor and Odin, and the rest just get thrown around.
“That’s Frigg, Odin’s wife. Freyja’s the daughter of Njorer—not sure I’m saying that right—and rules over Fólkvangr.
She’s the goddess of love, and beauty, and war, and future magic. ”
Zachary seems surprised. He did ask, so I feel no remorse for unloading it on him.
I could go on. All about how Freyja’s part of the Vanir, and she can use her cloak of falcon feathers to become a bird sometimes, and is charged with the Valkyries.
Oh, and how half the dead go to Odin in Valhalla, while the other half go to the field of Fólkvangr where Freyja reigns, and not only Valhalla.
I find it all fascinating. I love how she was venerated by all and equal to men in a time in Christendom when women weren’t.
“You’re really into it, aren’t you?” he asks.
“Yeah, it’s my faith,” I tell him. Shouldn’t I be?
“Of course! I didn’t mean to belittle.” Zachary waves his hands, palms out, horror written all over his face.
It’s hard to bury the laugh building in my throat with the way his entire body is fidgeting and jumping. I manage it though.
“I know!” I grin.
“I’m sorry. I really think it’s cool, I do!” Zachary says again and again.
“It’s okay! Promise,” I assure him, or at least attempt.
“Okay. Good. I didn’t think how it sounded. Moving on though,” he says, and just as quickly his eyes shoot to the other end of the room. “You’re not afraid of spiders, are you?”
“I most definitely am,” I say promptly. Bugs in general freak me out, but spiders are next level.
“Hmmm…” Zachary purses his lips and considers me a moment before turning and heading toward a large glass aquarium…with no water in it.
No. Don’t you dare tell me I’m in the same room with a freaking pet spider! No!
His hand plunges over the aquarium’s open top and fishes around a second. When he comes back up, he walks backward…toward me. My throat tightens. My arms pull back and I gulp. Please no, Zachary! But do I say it? No!
“Meet…” Zachary strings the word out and then suddenly swings around. “Teo!”
In a matter of a second I’m confronted with the biggest sand-brown spider I’ve ever seen in my life. I flail backward against the wall and claw for anything that I can get my hands on.
“Put it back! Put it back!” I beg.
The excitement in Zachary’s eyes dims to shame. He yanks back and hurries to the aquarium. My body is shaking by the time he returns. He surprises me again when a palm lightly cups my arm. I flinch from the unexpected touch, but he holds on.
“I’m sorry, Mackenzie,” he says. “I didn’t think it’d…”
He doesn’t finish the sentence and I find myself staring down at his hand. It’s still there, lightly holding my arm. It’s warm and soft, and I’m not shaking anymore. Then my brain floods with one singular question on repeat.
Why the hell is he touching me?
I yank my arm away as the adrenaline wears off, and he takes a step back. His face is blushed. Damn. I made him feel bad. Well serves you right, scaring me like that. I told you I was scared of them.
“I’m s—”
Involuntarily, a tiny giggle jumps into my mouth and escapes.
I try to hold the next back, but it happens anyway.
Zachary looks at me oddly, and I giggle again.
Now I’m smiling because it’s funny, even if I was just scared out of my mind.
It’s like a reflex for me. Something makes my adrenaline spike, then it fades and I giggle.
“Are you okay?” Zachary asks, a smile forming on his lips despite the confusion pouring from his eyes.
“Yeah, it’s an adrenaline response,” I tell him. “Weird. I know.”
“It’s cute. I mean okay. It’s okay,” he speeds over himself.
Okay… I’m not sure what to do with that.
“So, no Teo then.” Zachary keeps talking. “I love spiders, he’s my second, actually. But I get it. You and them don’t mix.”