Chapter 23
“Why haven’t you said anything yet?” I ask Eliza.
She’s by a display of necklaces and earrings, hanging up a few more pieces. An anxious grin bounces on her face and disappears as quickly as it came, and her hands reach for her cute black mid-thigh skirt dappled with orange crescent moons and tiny starlets, fidgeting with the hem.
“Timing?” she asks me.
I almost pounce with my words, but I stop myself. Timing? A question? To me?
“Why are you asking me?”
“I…just haven’t found the right time, Kenzie.” Eliza smiles again and her eyes grow smaller above her dimples. Why does she have to be pretty even when I need to be mad at her? “I’m trying.”
“Hayden is awake! He’s on his way here. Right now,” I tell her. “He’s about to take me, his fake ‘enbyfriend,’ on a date.”
This isn’t what’s supposed to be happening. Gods, I would have died for him to come walking in the shop to ask me on a date weeks ago. I even cast spells for it…which might have just gotten me into this mess in the first place.
“Maybe you are.” She shrugs. For a moment I think she’s saying I am maybe that good a witch, but that’s silly, that was in my head. Wasn’t it? Of course it was. “Maybe the date’s a good idea. You do like him after all. Or…”
My reaction might be a little too heavy to that one. Probably my pinched lips and squinting makes her second-guess it.
“…not.”
Maybe not. I don’t know. It’s all so complicated now and I don’t know exactly what I feel.
That’s sort of why I’m here in the first place.
When Hayden asked me out tonight, I didn’t want to be stuck in a car with him for too long, so I suggested we meet at his aunt’s shop.
As far as he’s aware, it’s because I felt bad making him drive so far to pick me up so soon after getting out of the hospital.
That part was only half true, maybe less.
Meeting here, I could grill Eliza on why his family doesn’t know the truth already.
She was supposed to tell them! Even if the thought still makes me sick.
“I don’t know. He’s not really like I thought,” I tell her. “I just think…”
I stop. Nope. I’m not going there.
“What? You think what?” Eliza asks, her interest piqued.
Oh no. That thought is staying in my head. She doesn’t need to hear the ending: I might like Zachary.
“I’m just worried he’s going to remember and then I’m going to be this horrible person,” I tell her instead.
I’m really beginning to wish I’d gone with my first excuse to get out of tonight.
I was going to say my aunt had unexpectedly flown in from Germany for a visit, and I couldn’t skip on her since it doesn’t happen often.
It’s not like she’d care if I lied about her; she’s halfway across the globe.
Plus, the last bit isn’t a lie. I can count the number of times I’ve seen her in person on one hand.
Even if I lost half my fingers. In the end, it would have only delayed the inevitable.
“You’re not a horrible person, Mackenzie, don’t do that to yourself. You—we all—made a mistake.” Eliza pats my shoulder and says a quiet intention I can’t hear. For me? “We just have to figure out how to fix it while hurting the least amount of people.”
“That’s it, huh?” I grimace at her.
Sounds horrible to me. I stare blankly at her.
“What el—” Eliza stops when the door chime rings and in walks Hayden.
He’s dressed to impress. His shirt is white with a paisley blue vest draped over it. The collar is open a button lower than normal, but it suits him. So do the black slacks and matching cowboy boots.
“Uh…” I don’t know what to say.
“Your mouth.” Eliza nudges me, and I snap my teeth together.
“Hey,” Hayden says the first word.
“Hayden,” I say, or maybe gasp, finally dropping out of my weird little trance. Something about that first glance took me back to all the times he walked into the coffee shop, and I’d go into a frenzied competition with my nerves not to be an idiot. It passes quickly this time though.
“Hey, Aunt Eliza.” He looks beside me and nods.
Eliza steps up and gives him a hug, “How was school?”
“It was okay. The Duke scout was at practice today. Fingers crossed he liked what he saw.” Hayden crosses his fingers and looks to the ceiling with his eyes closed like he’s praying. I can think of a number of better things to pray for, but I keep my mouth shut.
“A scholarship would be great.” Eliza is rooting him on.
“And to be a Blue Devil starter!” Hayden purses his lips.
“Let’s take things one at a time.” Eliza slaps him on the shoulder. “And right now, you two lovebirds need to get out of my shop so I can lock up. Y’all have a date.”
“Fine,” Hayden moans way too over the top.
I’m still trying to process the feeling I had when he walked inside. It was like old times, before the coma, before I let everyone think the most perplexing lie, before Zachary. Simultaneously, I’m super annoyed I don’t get to grill Eliza more and that I’m actually going on this date.
“Y’all have a good one,” Eliza coos with a little extra New Orleans in her drawl, and shoos us toward the exit.
“Night, Eliza,” I say, scooting out the door behind Hayden and giving her an annoyed grin when he turns away.
We pass dimly lit storefronts, each door decorated with bland Closed signs, on our way to one of the very few restaurants left in downtown that isn’t a brewery. It’s mostly little local shops, cobweb-filled abandoned windowpanes, and like three breweries. They keep popping up.
“So how was school?” Hayden asks after an excruciatingly long minute goes by with nothing but the buzz of the streetlamps.
It’s such a freshman question to ask your date.
Right? Or am I being too critical? I don’t try to hate this, but had the Kenzie from three weeks ago gotten that question from the Hayden Marcus, they’d have lost their freaking mind, maybe even had a heart attack and fallen dead on the spot, and I would have been happy about it. Now…
“Good. It w-was good.” I bounce my head and try to think of something else to say.
The scholarship! I throw my foot forward, kicking it through a shallow puddle. “So you got a scholarship? For Duke?”
My right thigh vibrates. My phone. It’s probably Kaitlynn checking in. I told her to text me with an “emergency” if I sent her the text. Basically “HELP,” which I’d promptly delete from my phone, but I’m sure she’s going to bombard my phone all evening for updates.
“No.” He smiles and shakes his head. There’s an attractive confidence in that grin that rushes my head with dopamine again.
I cough and look away before he starts again.
“I’m hoping to get one. We just had one of the scouts at practice today, so I’m hoping he liked what he saw and that’ll work for me. I really want to play ball for Duke!”
“You are Mitchell’s star player,” I say, but it’s also a question. I’ve always heard he was, but with my bias, I would have assumed he was the best at anything he did.
My phone vibrates again. Stop it, Kaity! I need to check it. Well, I guess I don’t need to, but I want to. Is that rude on a date? This is my first, so I don’t know.
“I wouldn’t say star.” He grunts and shakes his head.
Okay, there’s some humility. I thought the other day in the hospital I’d discovered a new version of him that wasn’t so humble.
Not the idyllic vision I’d built of him from innumerable visits to the coffee shop, religiously ordering the same iced latte with cinnamon to sip between the most swoon-worthy lips.
“But,” he says, dragging out the word and swaying his head from side to side. “I do have the most points and field goals this season so far. And coach says I should have no problem getting a scholarship somewhere. Duke’s just harder, but I can do it.”
And there it is again. Or maybe I’m just in a bad mood because I can’t decide what I want and I shouldn’t even be here. To mask my annoyance, I pull out my phone. “Kaitlynn’s texting me.”
“That your friend?”
“Yep.” I unlock my phone, but it’s not what I thought.
ZACHARY: He late?
ZACHARY: Oh right! ::facepalm:: Prob not looking at your phone.
ZACHARY: Has he effed it up yet?
I suck in my lips and laugh. My heart does a little jump, and I shake to calm myself while I type back. “It’s your brother, actually.”
MACKENZIE: Not yet.
“Zachary?” Hayden asks, and I can hear the surprise in his voice.
“Do you have another I don’t know about?” I ask while the bubbles are still going.
ZACHARY: Just wait.
I laugh and pocket my phone.
“No,” Hayden laughs with me. “What’s he want texting you?”
“Asking if you messed up yet,” I say truthfully, but spin a little toothy grin into it to hopefully make it seem like a joke.
“That checks out,” Hayden huffs.
Maybe it’ll also blow up in my face and give me an angry Hayden.
“So Duke is no problem, huh?” I ask instead to get us back on track. It comes out more condescending than I’d intended, but too late to take it back.
“Basketball is my thing. It’s what I thrive on. It’s what I’m good at,” he says. “And if I don’t get a scholarship, I’m sure Dad or Gramps will help me out.”
Something tickles my hand, and suddenly there are fingers wiggling between mine.
Don’t pull away, Kenzie. Don’t do it. I should be excited.
This should be thrilling. Hayden Marcus, the Hayden Marcus, just chose, of his own free will, to hold my hand.
Hayden Marcus, that tall athletic man of my dreams, the man that I practically drooled over for months and dreamt some pretty unspeakable things about is holding my hand… but it doesn’t feel right.
I remember another instead. The one who just texted.