Chapter 24
“Do you have to do that in here? You’re going to make it smell weird,” Mom complains.
I grimace, fanning my palm over a handful of smoldering sage. I’m not letting any bad vibes or negative thoughts stay stuck around tonight, even in the living room. I need a clear head.
“Yes, I have to,” I say matter-of-factly.
I discreetly put my biggest amethyst on the center of the kitchen table before Mom woke up.
A few black obsidian stones in the corners of the kitchen and living room with clear crystals to amplify their wards against negativity.
Oh, and the spire of selenite on the coffee table in the living room.
Mom protested that, too, when I replaced the pretty vase of multicolored flowers I set up just last week, but it actually looks good there.
Maybe I can convince her to let me keep it.
“Surely your stones are enough, Kenzie,” Mom says.
She’s dressed up nicely with her hair hanging in long waves over her shoulders. I helped her pick out a moss-green knee-length dress and matching sash-like belt. She looks pretty in it, even if she is annoyed with me.
“I’m not sure anything is going to be enough.” I huff, moving on to the hallway and then the tiny guest bathroom.
I told her that I almost told Hayden the truth, so she demanded that I invite him over for dinner.
She wanted to “meet the boy who’s causing all this turmoil in her child’s life.
” Her words, not mine. It was either this or I call him right then and come clean.
Just the thought of doing that was too much—it was overwhelming to the point I almost fainted.
So naturally, I took option B, although now it seems like it might have been the worse of the two.
Plus, why does Mom want to meet him, knowing what she does?
She isn’t going to say something, is she?
No! Please don’t! The idea immobilizes me for a good ten seconds before I can regain control again.
I have to finish purifying the house. He’s supposed to be here in—I check my watch—five minutes.
“Why are you so worried about me meeting him?” Mom asks.
“I don’t know.” I shrug. There’s no way in hell I’m admitting I think she might betray me like some Judas. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’m overreacting. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Well you’re stressing too much, mein Schatz.
He’s just a boy. You’re young, and you’re even stressing me out.
” She follows me down the hall into the kitchen as I put out the remaining smolders.
“If you can’t admit you lied to him, maybe tell him you need a break.
Or do you actually like him? And does he like you too? ”
She says and before I can speak, but I think I do know the answer to both questions, or well, sort of.
After last night I might be a little more conflicted.
He’s still drop-dead gorgeous, but he’s not exactly what I had thought.
A little more into himself than I admittedly care for, but he’s not a total ass.
He’s neither of the extremes I’d seen before last night.
He’s somewhere in the middle with maybe a few extra tethers to the confident end.
But does he like me? I think I know the answer to that. Sure, he’s into guys and girls and theys, and yeah, he’s even making an effort to like me, but it’s still no.
“I mean, yeah, I do,” I say.
“That wasn’t the most convincing from you,” Mom says.
I roll my eyes and check the lasagna baking in the oven. The cheese is melting nicely, and the garlic and tomato aroma wafts through the tiny opening.
“I-I don’t know.”
She looks at me with this expression that says ah I’m sorry, so I look away and snatch the dishes from the cabinet.
I drop each to the table with a high-pitched clink.
They’re not the nice plates, but they’re some of my favorites.
Pure black, square with rounded edges. They appear to be made from obsidian, but they’re not.
The truth is I don’t know what I want anymore.
Weeks ago I wanted Hayden. Now I “have” him, and I’m horrified because it’s all a house of cards built on an ignorant mistake.
I think part of me still does like him. Maybe, but there’s Zach now.
I didn’t know him before. I didn’t even know he existed, and he managed to make me feel more important and seen in a week than anyone I know has in my entire life.
But he’s Hayden’s brother. It’s like some bad porn skit, except my clothes are staying on and I’m not getting caught with either of them because both of them are going to hate me when they realize the truth.
A knock comes at the door and I freeze. My eyes lock on Mom and she simply grins. It’s a smile that says so much. I love you. It’s going to be okay. Don’t worry. Oh, but I’m going to worry—a lot.
“I’ll get it,” she says, and I rush to take the lasagna out of the oven so the breadsticks can get going.
“Ouch,” I yelp as my finger slips and touches the bottom of the pan.
I pull my finger to my lips and kiss it like it’s going to make it stop burning.
“Just get the bread,” I tell myself, and place the individual breadsticks I prepared earlier on a new pan and slide them into the oven. If nothing else, there will be bread.
The door creaks from around the corner, and I listen as Mom says hey.
“Hello, Mrs. Jackson,” comes Hayden’s voice. I take a deep breath. “It’s great to finally meet you. Oh, and I hope you don’t mind, but…”
“Hey, Mrs. Jackson!” Another familiar voice rings around the corner.
“I brought Zach with me, he sort of begged.”
“That’s okay,” Mom says.
Excuse me?
My eyes bloom into the widest circles as I hone in on the entrance to the kitchen. First around the corner is Mom, then Hayden looking sober and nervous with a small bouquet of the sweetest little pink camellias, and then Zachary with a massive grin on his face.
“Hey, Mackenzie,” Hayden says, and comes straight up to me with his arms out like he’s going to hug me.
I freeze. “Hayden, thanks for coming.”
His arms wrap over my shoulder and side, and he gives me a tug while I pat his back, making sure my arms don’t touch him. Oh my gods, this is freaking awkward. Finally he lets go and turns back to Mom.
“And these are for you.” Hayden hands her the camellias.
Uh…okay. Not going to lie, I thought those were for me.
“How kind, Hayden.” Mom takes them and places them on the counter. “It’s been years since a man’s brought me flowers.”
Why is Zach here? And Hayden’s giving my favorite flower to my mom. What’s next? I tell the truth?
“Hope you don’t mind that I brought Zachary along.” Hayden’s looking directly at me.
“It’s…uh…it’s okay,” I stutter. Why the hell would you bring your little brother to dinner with your enbyfriend and their mom? It’s not like my mom needs a date! And oh no, Zach’s about to say something, so I open my mouth first. “Food’s about ready. Y’all can sit.”
I spin around and check on the bread. It’s got a minute more to go, but I’m not turning back around.
What was Hayden thinking? I don’t even want him here!
I definitely don’t want Zach around to make things even more weird.
Could things get better just for once? I really need this bread spell to work and make Hayden decide he’s just not into me and want to “break up.” Then maybe I won’t ever have to admit it was all an awful mistake.
Just don’t look at Zachary. Act like he isn’t here. It’s just you, Hayden, and Mom. That’s it. He’s only in my imagination playing tricks on me. That’s it.
“Your home is adorable, Mrs. Jackson,” Hayden says, and I want to vomit.
Neither one of them could ever think my home is adorable.
It’s small, and old, and simple. Yes, it smells good, my touch.
Lavender and rosemary dot the house. There’s some on the hall table.
A vase of them on the kitchen counter. A few in my bedroom, and a candle with their scent in the living room.
So yes, it smells good, but that’s it. Otherwise it sometimes seems almost claustrophobically small after seeing their house.
“Thank you,” Mom says. “So who’s the oldest?”
While Mom distracts them with random questions, I take another look inside the oven.
There’s only ten seconds to go, so I don my black mitten that says Don’t Make Me Poison Your Food and take them out of the oven.
The heat jumps out at me, and the intrusive thoughts in my head say to jump inside, it’d be so warm in there, but I refrain.
Once I’ve gotten them on the counter, I bunch them all into a little woven basket and take them to the table. I try not to look at either of the boys. If there was a way I could get through this without interacting, I’d do it so quick.
“How was work?” Hayden asks the moment I sit down directly across from him.
It’s immediately awkward. It was going to be bad enough having him here with Mom, but now there’s Zachary. It’s like they’re both locked on me, waiting for some exciting answer.
“It was good. The rush was shorter than usual, so that was nice.” I nudge the bread basket an inch to the right, looking at Hayden but trying not to focus on him. “The dude that tripped you worked today. Landon.”
It makes me laugh. Mom’s nonplussed, but it gets a snicker out of both Zachary and Hayden. It wasn’t Landon’s fault, I know, not really. He didn’t physically make him trip, but it hasn’t stopped me from telling Landon he was the cause.
“It’s not his fault!” Hayden shakes his head, but his laughing betrays him. “I’ve already told you. It was my fault for not paying attention. Bet I was distracted by you. That’s probably what it was.”