Chapter 32
Third Act Breakup DENIED (...Or Is It?)
Gavin
Doc's face is right there, flushed and furious, glasses crooked, hair sticking up in seventeen different directions from fighting his way out of that hoodie. He looks like an angry kitten that got caught in a paper bag.
An angry kitten I'm desperately in love with.
Don't think about that right now. Focus.
"What the hell, Gavin?" He shoves at my chest, but it's like being attacked by a very determined chihuahua. "You can't just, you literally kidnapped me!"
"I know, I know, I'm sorry—"
"Across campus!"
"I panicked—"
"In front of everyone!"
"You were doing the thing!" The words explode out of me. "You were doing the breakup thing! The 'it's not you, it's me' thing with the rambling and the excuses, and I just… I got scared, okay?"
Doc freezes.
The silence stretches between us like a rubber band about to snap.
Say something. Please say something. Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me you weren't about to—
He doesn't say anything.
My stomach drops through the floor.
"Doc..."
He moves toward the door.
Nope. No. Absolutely not.
I don't even make a conscious decision. One second I'm standing there with my heart in my throat, and the next I'm throwing myself at the door like a demented starfish, arms and legs spread wide, fingers gripping the doorframe like my life depends on it.
Which it kind of does.
"Gavin, what are you—"
"No!" My voice comes out way too loud. "No, we are not doing this!"
"Doing what? I just need to—"
"I've seen this!" I'm clinging to the doorframe like a barnacle now, probably looking absolutely insane, but I don't care. "I watched this happen with Tyler and Ethan!"
Doc blinks. "What?"
"When Ethan thought Tyler cheated!" The words are tumbling out faster than my brain can organize them.
"There were pictures, fake pictures, and Tyler was broken, like completely shattered, and Ethan left, and it was awful, and then Ethan found out the pictures were fake and he came back to our car wash wearing like.
.. basically nothing? I think it was short shorts?
And he apologized, and now they're all happy and gross and in love all the time—"
"Gavin—"
"And then!” I barrel right over him because if I stop talking, I might die.
"Caleb! The guy who made the fake photos!
Except he didn't know that he was breaking anyone up, and Drew made him pledge because of it, and he moved in, and James immediately became less of a grumpy asshole, and they fake-dated over Christmas, except it was so obviously not fake at all, and then they broke up because Caleb's dad is a massive dick and—"
I finally have to breathe.
Doc is staring at me like I've grown a second head.
"—and it's not happening." My voice cracks. "I'm in love with you, and we're going to figure this out."
Doc's mouth opens. Closes. I watch hope and fear and something like panic flash across his face in quick succession.
He's not saying anything. Why isn't he saying anything? Did I break him?
"No miscommunication is going to happen," I say, because apparently my mouth has decided to just keep going.
"I'm talking to you, and you're talking to me, and we're going to be alright.
I watched Tyler and Ethan break up. I watched James and Caleb break up.
I'm not letting us break up over what my asshole family thinks. "
A knock on the door makes us both jump.
"Gavin?" Tyler's voice, muffled through the wood. "You okay in there, buddy?"
I look at Doc. Doc looks at me.
"Yeah!" My voice comes out slightly strangled. "I'm fine!"
Am I fine? I don't know if I'm fine. Doc still hasn't said anything about the love thing.
A pause. Then Ethan's voice: "Seb? You okay?"
My heart stops. I watch Doc's face, waiting, barely breathing.
Please say you're fine. Please don't ask them to rescue you from me. Please—
"I'm fine, Ethan," Doc says quietly.
The relief nearly buckles my knees.
"Go away!" I yell at the door. "We're communicating!"
Footsteps retreat down the hallway. The music downstairs kicks back up to full volume.
Doc lets out a long breath. "Gavin..."
"Don't." I'm still plastered to the door, still clinging to the frame. "Don't say you're saving me from losing my family. Don't say you can't be the reason I lose them. I can see it on your face, that's what you're thinking, and I need you to hear me."
His jaw tightens. "You don't understand—"
"Then explain it to me!" I'm begging now, I can hear it in my own voice. "But nothing you've said is about not wanting to be with me. It's all about my family, and Doc, you have to listen, they're terrible people."
"They're your family."
"And you're the most amazing person I've ever met." I swallow hard. "Did you hear me say I'm in love with you?"
Doc's eyes drop to the floor. A faint flush creeps up his neck.
"Yeah," he says quietly. "I heard you."
"And?"
He doesn't answer.
"I want to be with you," I press on. "I don't want to break up over some crap my asshole dad said. And you were fantastic when you took Troy down, by the way. That pressure point thing was hot as hell."
The corner of his mouth twitches. Almost a smile.
Progress. That's progress.
"But losing your dad..." Doc finally looks up at me. "He's… your dad."
The words hit somewhere deep in my chest. Because he's not wrong. My dad is terrible, but he's still my dad. My mom is gone. My brother hates me. My cousin is a carbon copy of everything wrong with my family.
"Of course I want a relationship with them," I admit. "They're all I have."
Doc crosses the room, grabs my hand, and pulls me to my bed. Then he sits beside me on the edge. I go willingly, too freaked out to keep clinging to the door.
"That's not true," he says, and there's something fierce in his voice now. "Gavin, think about it. Tyler is your best friend. He'd do anything for you."
"I mean, yeah, but—"
"Ethan." Doc ticks off on his fingers. "The other twink in your life."
A surprised laugh escapes me. "I only have one twink."
Doc's flush deepens, but he keeps going. "The frat guys. Drew, Jeff, Noah, Rex, Ian, all of them were ready to jump in when your dad showed up. I saw their faces."
They were, weren't they? Standing behind me like they'd throw down if needed.
"Jamal and Omar and Devin," Doc continues. "Your teammates. They completely had your back in the parking lot with your brother and cousin."
I shrug, but I'm listening.
"Coach Daniels and Coach Williams have offered to be there for you." Doc's eyes are bright now, intent. "You think they do that for every player?"
"I don't—"
"You have so many people, Gavin." His voice softens. "And yeah, you still want your dad. That's okay. That's human. But only if he's willing to love you as you are."
Something in my chest cracks open.
"You're amazing," Doc says, quieter now. "Any man would be lucky to date you."
The panic surges back up. "That sounds like you don't want to date me. Did you hear me? I am in love with you. I want to be with you."
Doc's eyes go shiny.
Oh no. Don't cry. If you cry, I'm going to cry, and then we're both crying, and—
"I love you too," he whispers.
The world stops.
"You… what?"
"I love you too, you giant idiot." He's smiling now, shy and sweet and so beautiful it makes my chest ache. "I'm just... I'm terrified of being the reason you lose your family."
"You're not." I grab his hands, pull him closer. "The problems with my dad have always been there. It's only now that I'm in love with a man that they're fully visible. They were always there, just hiding under the surface."
Doc laughs, wet and surprised.
"Did you hear that?" I cup his face in my hands. "I'm in love with a man. You. I'm in love with you."
Doc swings a leg over and settles into my lap, and my brain goes completely offline for a second because Doc is in my lap.
Then he leans down and kisses me.
It's not gentle. It's not sweet. It's desperate and claiming, and his fingers are fisting in my shirt, and I'm grabbing his hips in case he disappears, and God, I could do this forever. I could kiss him forever. I could—
Doc pulls away.
His breathing is ragged. His lips are swollen. He looks wrecked in the best possible way.
Why did he stop? Why did he—
"It's not just your family," he says.
The words don't compute.
"What?"
Doc untangles himself from me. Climbs off my lap and steps back. Puts distance between us that feels like miles.
"I got an acceptance letter today."
The panic fades into confusion. "Okay? Doc, that's amazing! I knew you'd crush those interviews. You're going to be an incredible—"
"It's in Switzerland."
The word hangs in the air.
"...What?"
"The program." Doc's voice is steady, but his hands are shaking.
"It's a prestigious pre-med track. They take students from around the world, fewer than twenty-five per year, and train them from the ground up.
By the time you finish your specialization, you can work anywhere.
It's the best medical education in the world. "
My brain is trying to catch up. Switzerland. Europe. Thousands of miles away.
"How... how long?"
"Seven years. Minimum."
Seven years.
Seven years.
"I'm going to take it," Doc says, and his voice finally breaks. "Because I won't get a better opportunity anywhere, and all I've ever wanted is to be a doctor, and I can't—"
He stops.
Swallows.
"I can't..."
The sentence hangs there, unfinished.
I stare at him.
He stares at me.
The music thumps from downstairs, muffled and distant, like it's coming from another planet.
Seven years. Switzerland. The best opportunity of his life.
And me.
Doc's eyes are wet. His hands are still shaking. He looks like he's waiting for me to shatter.
I open my mouth.
Nothing comes out.