Be a good little meal, won’t you
10
“Like… bite them and drink their blood? But won’t that kill them?” Like it killed me.
“Yes, theoretically, biting them is indeed a death sentence since you can’t control the venom you inject when you bite, but it’s not like you’ll be killing them on the spot with your bare hands.”
“I don’t want to kill anyone. That’d weigh too heavy on my conscience. It’d be unbearable.” Killing seemed like something I could put my foot down on, even if Riftan wanted me to do it.
“Look”—Riftan’s hand slid across my cheek, leaving goosebumps in its wake—“I have a conscience too, but given what you are now, there are some things you’re going to have to get over. Without blood, you will lose control, and it’s not enough to simply survive off what you can get in a bottle or a bag. One day, you’ll find yourself needing to know how to feed from humans, whether you like it or not.”
“I’m serious. I can’t do it, Riftan.”
“It’s not as bad as it sounds, I promise. Hear me out, okay?” His eyes were gentle and kind in as they prodded me to obey, and so I did—listening for the moment. “The world is filled with more bad people than you’ll ever truly know. I can promise you that from my seven hundred-and-something years here. I’m talking about the kind who rape, murder, and take advantage of anyone who they deem less than them: people who wouldn’t be missed by a single soul on this planet if they disappeared tonight. If you could find one of those people, wouldn’t you think it justice for this world if you could rid it of them? And in turn, you get a meal—you get to let them contribute to the circle of life and maybe make their worthless existence mean something. So, I’m not asking you to kill some saint who volunteers their every waking moment to charity. But what if you kill one very, very bad person instead?”
“And what if I don’t find anyone who fits that description?”
He patted my cheek. “My sweet, na?ve girl. I promise we will have no shortage of scumbags for you to choose from. I’m sure there are at least five that fit the bill in this very bar.”
“Fine. If I can find the absolute worst person I’ve ever met—”
Riftan started to snicker like he’d won, and I lifted my finger to his lips to cut him off.
“—And I mean, the absolute worst! As in the kind whose children will praise his death: Then! Maybe, only then, I will agree to take his life.”
“Yes, ma’am. That’s good enough for me.” We sat in silence for a moment, eyes flitting between each other. “Well,” Riftan started, “are you going to go look for him, or what?”
“Oh. By myself?”
“Of course. You won’t find him with me in tow. Go use those feminine wiles of yours.”
Wandering eyes raked over my tightly fitted dress, hinting at the scheme he had in mind.
Some sick part of me thrummed at the idea of freely participating in this little hunt. In the past, I’d thrived on scouting out men at the bars, relishing in the response I could get from a simple bat of my lashes. Since dating Johnny, I hadn’t gotten to partake in the activity for fear of getting either myself or the person I was flirting with murdered. I rose from my seat and surveyed the crowded bar. If I didn’t find someone who could be deemed a complete scourge to the universe, I wouldn’t kill anyone that night.
As I made to pass him, Riftan’s hand clasped my arm, pulling me close until our noses nearly brushed. “If you find someone who fits the bill, take them through the kitchen and out the back entrance. I’ll meet you out there.”
“Okay.” I watched his lips as they settled close in front of mine—close enough to kiss. It would have been so easy to close the limited distance between us… inches—if that. Maybe then we could forget about this whole killing a human thing and go back to our condo, just the two of us.
Oh, how I’d love to be doing that instead.My stomach started doing flips, butterflies turning to birds until I was swallowing the emotion down like a knot in my throat.
Riftan’s lips tipped up into a sultry grin. “Don’t look so glum. You can have fun with this. Okay?”
I nodded, took my drink in hand, and wandered out toward the dance floor. That would be the best spot for finding men looking for some ass. If I didn’t spot one, I knew some scumbag would come along if I danced alone for long enough, and a scumbag was what I was looking for, after all.
The first two guys who came up to dance with me were, for the most part, harmless—annoying, but harmless. After that, I jaunted over to talk to a guy who ended up being an asshole, but not murder worthy. There were more like that, some of which I decided weren’t worth my time based on eavesdropped conversations or short interactions.
No matter how long I’d been at it, every time I looked back at the bar, Riftan had his eyes pinned on me, which didn’t help take any of the edge off. If only he’d concern himself with someone else for a few minutes, I might have been able to have some fun like he’d suggested, but instead, I felt scrutinized under his watchful gaze.
Taking another look at Riftan, my eyes wandered past his stoic form to settle on a man tucked away in the shadows. He sat in one of the plush booths in the back, a small woman folded so deep under his arm that she almost wasn’t visible. Dark brunette ringlets draped her shoulders, an errant few falling over her face. Blinking slow, as if the act was laborious, the girl was continually sinking farther against this man, her head falling cockeyed in an unnatural position.
I used my enhanced senses to hone in on their voices from across the crowded bar. It was difficult to pinpoint them with so much going on, but all I had to do was match the voices to their lips moving. Then, I was able to isolate their conversation from those of the masses.
“I can take you back to my place, baby. Don’t even worry about it,” the man whispered to the girl, gripping her head so she couldn’t look away.
“No. I want to go home. Please,” she breathed, hardly able to keep her words together.
“It’s okay. I’ll call a couple of friends and we will take care of you.”
“No…”
I was in front of their table in a heartbeat, a millisecond, less than the blink of an eye. My sudden appearance startled the man, but he was quick to regain his composure and share his sleazy smile with me.
“Hello there, beautiful. What can I do for you?” He laid on the cheese, acting as though he was some hit movie star. In truth, he was hardly cute enough to pass as an extra.
Matching that energy, I leaned over his table, showing off the ladies in my low-cut dress. “I noticed you a little bit ago, and I was wondering if you would buy me a drink?”
It’d been a while since I’d flirted with anyone. Luckily, I didn’t think it mattered much how rusty I was, given my newfound vampiric glory. All I really had to do was smile and flash some of my ethereal, smooth skin.
The man looked torn, glancing down at the girl under his arm. He hesitantly answered, “Well, I’ve already got someone sitting with me here. Can we take—”
“So, tell her to get lost. I’d prefer your company all to myself.” I added a wink.
“Okay,” he abided obediently, practically wagging his nonexistent tail in excitement. Without any care for the brunette’s condition, he pushed her out of the booth. She wobbled, hardly able to stand on her own.
Pretending not to care how she looked, I slid into her spot next to the man. I quickly looked back at Riftan and tipped my head at the girl, who was now leaning against the wall and trying to make her way toward the door. “Already on it,” he said under his breath, leaving the bar in a rush to help the girl.
“Thank you,” I whispered, aware that if I’d heard him at such a low volume, he would probably hear me as well.
He turned back and winked before taking the girl under his arm and pushing out the door. I sincerely hoped his version of helping was the same as mine. I was confident that he wouldn’t take advantage of her, but he was the one encouraging me to kill someone, so it was hard to decipher his true intentions.
“What was that, baby?” the sleaze ball next to me asked, slipping his arm around my shoulder.
“Oh, nothing. Drinks?”
“Yeah, sure thing. I’ve got some right here.” He pushed over a drink already on the table, forgoing ordering any new ones. That alone was suspicious. Bringing it to my nose, I did my best to ignore the sting in my eyes, instead smelling for any sign of tampering. What I found was a subtle hint of salt in a drink that shouldn’t have been salty—something nobody would notice unless they had super-powerful senses like I did. That girl wasn’t drunk; she was drugged.
“Thanks.” I took a small sip, trusting that most poisons and drugs wouldn’t have as much of an effect on me. “So,” I began a conversation with the man, hoping to ensure that he was indeed the ultimate pig I’d been looking for, “what do you do for work?”
Puffing out his chest, the man began his spiel like it was rehearsed in the mirror. “I’m an entrepreneur. Last year I had to expand into an offshore account to hold all my money. That and I’ve been investing in some real estate. It pays the bills and buys my yachts.” The way he exaggerated his expression, showing all thirty-two of his teeth at the mention of money, reminded me tragically of Johnny. That could mean his means of collecting said wealth was not as licit as he was trying to make it seem—either that or he was lying altogether about having it.
“What about family? You got any kids?”
“Probably. I don’t know.” He sipped his drink, rolling his eyes like he was already losing interest in our conversation. Apparently, all he wanted was a quiet piece of arm candy.
Deciding to move things along at his speed, I leaned in and kissed him. He definitely wasn’t cute, so it was preferable that way—I didn’t have to look at him with our lips locked. Luckily, he did smell nice enough, like expensive cologne. And holy shit was he a good kisser, his lips leading mine only a beat ahead, making me hurry to keep up. I suppose that was probably because the piece of shit had some practice on poor defenseless girls before me.
I decided to solidify my choice in killing him. Feigning utter innocence, I pulled away and hunched over, really playing at my act. “I’m feeling tired all of a sudden. Maybe I should go home.”
“If you’re feeling tired, I can take you somewhere more private so you can rest. How’s that sound?” His voice was so cocky and sure. He knew exactly what he was doing. He’d clearly done it a thousand times.
“Thank you. I’m okay to stay here, though.” I continued my performance, keeping my voice low and weak.
Closing the distance between us, the man kissed me again. This time harder and with more intent, his tongue coaxing at my teeth. It was almost enjoyable—kissing that dirtbag. Making out with someone I had the intent to kill had jitters creeping over my flesh and soaking into my bones. It was enthralling. I am going to kill this piece of shit.
When his smarmy hands started getting friendly with the edge of my skirt, I did my best not to simply kill him right then and there. Instead, I told him, “Maybe we should leave. I need some air.”
“Okay,” he agreed, following me eagerly as I got up and led him to the kitchen like Riftan had told me to. Past sizzling pans and pungent ovens, I tugged my prey through the kitchen and to a door in the back illuminated by a red exit sign. We burst into the alley, a crisp late-night chill embracing me with release from the club’s muggy atmosphere.
Before I’d fully taken in a breath of fresh air, the man I had by the hand was stifling me, pulling me into him and shoving my back against the brick wall. His lips were all over mine, his hands not hesitating a moment before they were on an explorative journey of everywhere he’d left unventured on my body.
It nearly made me laugh—how desperate he was. “Do you like taking advantage of defenseless girls?” My tone was meek as I looked up at him from under my lashes.
“Shut up. It was you who wanted this.” He smothered me with a sloppy kiss.
Retreating from his lips, I played a little more. “And what if I begged you to stop?”
“Don’t act like such a teasing slut.” He practically spit the words out before grabbing for my chest.
Straightening my spine, I beamed. “Okay, that’s all I needed to hear!” Catching his grabby hand in mine, I pushed him away with more than a little force. He went sailing through the air, only stopping when he hit the far wall of the alley with a soft plunk. I didn’t have a ton of experience with my new and improved vampire strength, and I honestly hadn’t expected him to fly so far—but I didn’t regret it. I giggled to myself. “Oops.”
The scumbag scrambled to find footing in a pile of loose trash bags that he’d landed in. “You fucking bitch,” he muttered.
I crossed the alley to meet the spot where he still fumbled in garbage on the ground. He didn’t cower or recede, which I took as insolence in the presence of me, who so obviously outmatched him. “That’s no way to talk to a lady,” I complained, reaching down to claw my fist around the man’s neck and lift him back to his feet since he was too insufferable to get up on his own.
In a puff of grey smoke, Riftan materialized down the alley. Hands in his pockets, he sauntered up. “Well, it looks like you have this under control on your own.”
The man in my hands squirmed, making a fuss. “Who the hell are you?”
We both ignored him as he fought to pull my hand from his throat.
“Yeah,” I agreed with Riftan, “but I don’t have any idea what to do with him now. I was waiting for you.”
Riftan nodded. “Well, sorry to keep you waiting then. You can put him down now.”
Doing as Riftan said, I tossed the man to the cobbled ground, away from the cushion of trash bags that he’d been lucky enough to fall on the last time I flung him. He crumpled to the street in a heap and gulped for air, not even attempting to regain his footing this time.
“You’re sure this is the one?” Riftan confirmed.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I poked the heel of my shoe into his ribs and the guy groaned. “He’s a real piece of shit.”
Taking that as confirmation, Riftan turned to the man, who was slowly hobbling back to his feet. Riftan only took one step to put the two of them eye to eye, though he was looking down on the vile predator who was nearly a foot shorter. “This is her first time. Be a good little meal, won’t you?”
The man got on his knees and stared directly through me, completely blank to the world, not a single thought or idea behind his eyes, entirely thralled.
“So, do I just… bite him?” I asked.
“Yeah, find a vein first.” Riftan reached down with two fingers on the human’s neck and then pointed to a spot. “It shouldn’t be hard with your senses the way they are now. That part comes naturally.”
I touched the place where Riftan’s fingers sat and sensed the blood flow he’d been referring to. It rushed through this man’s veins like a raging river. I could feel and hear exactly all the places where that river crested near his skin—all the places I needed to bite him.
Thankfully, Riftan had him kneel, so I only needed to bend over a little to put my lips to his neck.
He was soft under my teeth, but his flesh took more effort to break than I’d expected. I had all the strength in the world, but it felt like I was tearing into him, masticating the flesh under my teeth. Pulling back, I examined the very human-looking bite mark I’d given him. “This doesn’t seem right.” I looked up at Riftan, whose eyes were intent on where I’d bitten this man.
“Hmm.” Leaning in, Riftan hooked his thumb under my lip and pulled it upward. Tilting his head, he admired my teeth. “I forgot that you don’t have fangs yet. Well, you do—they are just too small to do anything with. I’ll bite him. Then he’s all yours. Is that okay with you?”
“Yeah.”
Moving past me, Riftan took the man by his shirt collar and hauled him to his feet, only stopping to purse his lips and roll his eyes in the most exasperated way.
“What?” I asked, curiosity staining my tone.
“Ugh. It’s nothing… I don’t really like biting other men.”
The notion seemed foolish, so I scoffed. “Why?”
“What do you want me to say? Because I’m an insecure straight male?” He let out a laden sigh before taking the man’s hair and pulling his neck taut to expose the spot where my teeth had marked him. Riftan continued. “No… in all honesty, you shouldn’t sexualize your meals. It’s improper and yes, some vampires take it much too far, making it something it isn’t. It’s sustenance, and that’s all. Unfortunately, I’m obviously a little guilty of it myself. I merely prefer a comfortable meal to be that of a female. I can’t seem to help it.”
I hadn’t thought of it that way—though I’d never been picky about my sexuality much, either.
Putting his grievance aside, Riftan tucked his head into the man’s exposed neck, a trail of blood pouring from the spot where his lips met flesh. The red liquid puddled over the human man’s shoulder, fragrant and alarmingly alluring to my sensitive nose. My body naturally itched for a taste of him. Retracting from the river of blood, Riftan shoved the bleeding man back down onto his knees. Blood poured from the two deep punctures on his neck, which dipped into his veins much more effectively than my bite did.
Salivating at the rusty smell in the air, I pounced on the man the instant Riftan was free of him. While I lapped at the blood excreting from his veins, the man didn’t make a peep, only sat there silent and motionless. The thin muscles in his neck didn’t tense as they should have under my lips. Instead, they were completely relaxed as I suckled on the wound Riftan had given him. Sucking from the incisions on his flesh, I pulled until I was effectively dragging the lifeblood from him.
The taste was both familiar and not. It was what I knew—what had sustained me for weeks now—but different: fresher, sweeter, more delectable. It was like that one meal you couldn’t make at home, but your favorite restaurant does it perfectly. A culinary mystery you can’t recreate. I was hooked on it.
I’d never been especially drawn to the blood of humans, but the moment this man’s blood touched my tongue, my desire changed. I craved to bleed him. I never wanted to taste anything but him again. I’d rather drink his blood for eternity than ever breathe oxygen again.
While the taste pulled me in, the tingle shackled my bonds to this desire. The sensation was physical, it enraptured me, until it was mental, then it was euphoria in its purest form. The perfect thrum of satisfaction radiating through my limbs from drinking this horrible man’s delicious blood was like nothing I’d ever experienced. I felt everything and nothing; numb, yet wholly responsive. I was nearly transported to a different plane of existence—my mind ready to fly off so it could stay like this forever.
“Slow down.” Riftan’s warmth kept me grounded, his breath hot against my ear as he whispered to me, “If you go too fast, it’s only going to limit how much you can get out of him. Slow down, and when his heartbeat starts to weaken, you need to stop.”
There was no way I was going to be able to stop. I didn’t want to. Even with something as enticing as Riftan’s lips on my ear, I couldn’t stop. No matter how badly I wanted to follow Riftan’s every demand flawlessly, I wouldn’t pull my lips away from this man until there was nothing left to drink.
Much too soon, Riftan was in my ear again. “I can hear his heartbeat slowing. Stop now.”
I groaned, blood gurgling in my throat, but I didn’t stop. The idea of pulling my lips away from this source of magical euphoria caused my body to panic, tensing up as I bit into him with an urge to consume everything this man had to offer me. If I couldn’t drain him dry, I’d take his flesh from his bones. Anything to have more.
Riftan’s fingers wrapped around my shoulders, bearing down until the pain broke through my animalistic trance. Prying me back with more strength than I could fight, Riftan hauled me off the man. “I said stop now.”
Gasping for breath, I did my best to lick my lips around each heavy intake so as to not lose any of that mortal’s ambrosian blood.
“Are you in control?” Riftan asked, lacing his fingers under my chin and yanking my gaze to focus on only him.
“Ah,” I attempted, still out of breath. “Yeah. I’m okay. That was crazy.”
“Yeah. You actually did quite well. I’ve seen others tear mortals to shreds during their first live feed. It gets exponentially more controllable from here on out, I promise.”
Tearing that man to shreds would have been unavoidable if Riftan wasn’t there. But my need to please Riftan outweighed my need to devour that human, and the reality of his presence was quick to replace whatever loss of composure I’d just experienced. Still in a blissful kind of daze, I pressed for more of his praise. “Really? I did good?”
“You did.” He showed his fangs in a smile that made my whole face flush with warmth. “I’m going to thrall him so that he forgets about this, and then we can head back home, okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed, still breathless.
Moments later, Riftan sent the human man on his way after thralling him to get himself cleaned up and out of dodge. I’d made a mess of him: blood stained his collar and seeped from the spots where I’d seemingly clawed into his shoulders during my stupor.
As Riftan had told me, the man would go back home, get sick the next day, and die in twenty-four hours of what a doctor would diagnose as heart failure. I killed that man, and I didn’t regret it.
I had no emotions for the man I’d sentenced, but something inside of me still panged with guilt—guilt for not feeling guilty.
Wrapping his arm through mine as we made our way down the sidewalk, Riftan asked, “How do you feel? Are you doing okay?”
He must have thought I was bothered by what I’d done. Killing is wrong; I’d said it should be the one thing I didn’t have to compromise on. Killing should bother me. But the image of slaughtering that man, who was so ready to take advantage of the first low hanging fruit he found, involuntarily brought a smile to my face. “Is it bad that I’m totally fine?”
“No. I’m glad… I was a little worried about you at first. But from what I’ve seen, I think you’re going to be just fine as a vampire.”
“Thanks. I think I’m going to be fine as well. This way of life probably suits me—maybe that makes me a terrible person.”
“You’re not a terrible person. I think you’re a great person. You’re the type who can overcome any obstacle, big or small. That’s why I think you’re going to be adept with this new change. That’s all I meant.”
“Thanks…”
I admired the cobbled city streets as we walked back to our condo. It’d gotten late—or early, depending on how you looked at it. The sun would begin to rise in less than an hour, which meant I needed to be inside soon. Looking at the dark sky, I could only see a few stars dotted between the clouds. A cathedral, tall and spired, blocked a portion of my view. I wondered how those beautiful gothic cathedrals looked in the daytime, and something in my heart stirred with the hope of seeing that someday—no matter how trivial it may have been.
I sighed and looked back at Riftan. “Hey, what happened with that girl? Did you get her home?” I asked casually.
“Yeah, I called her a cab and thralled the cabby to make sure she safely made it home. Why?”
“I wanted to make sure you helped her.”
His eyes narrowed on me. “What else would I have done with her?”
“Maybe you chose to drink her blood. How was I supposed to know?”
He scoffed. “Psh. She seemed like an innocent enough girl. I wouldn’t kill someone like her.”
“So, you live off that rule, too? That you only kill bad people?”
“I try to, nowadays. I can’t say I’ve always done it like this, but I’m doing my best.”
I cleared my throat, holding back some form of anger that was sinking hot claws into my chest. “Um, excuse me? You bit me, remember? Did you deem me a lost cause to society like all the other bad people you kill?”
Riftan dropped my arm and put up his hands in a dramatic show of defenselessness. “I’m sorry! Your situation was a little bit different. Like I said before, I thought you were a hooker.”
“Even if I was a hooker—though I most certainly am not—sex workers are people, too. And while ‘innocent’ might not be the best word to describe them, they most certainly don’t deserve to be murdered!” I chided.
“Right.” Riftan nodded but refused to look me in the eye despite my death stare. “And I’ll apologize relentlessly for doing something so rash, but you looked so miserable back then. Call it insensitive to kill someone out of ‘mercy,’ but I’ve lived long enough to know that if someone is desperate enough to ask for their death instead of plead for their life, they’re probably better off dead anyway.”
I had asked him to kill me. So, could I really blame him for doing just that?
He continued, flashing a smile. “And I hardly regret it either. You were very tempting, you tasted good, and you looked so scared it was delightful. And hey, now we are here, and everything worked out for the better. I wouldn’t call it a mistake, just a happy accident.” It wasn’t the first time he’d said that.
I smacked him on the arm for poking fun at my fear. “You’re lucky that I’m happy with this outcome, otherwise I’d be very upset with you for saying something like that.” And I was happy. I was so much happier than I’d ever been before.
It was crazy to think that I’d come by that happiness from my own death.
I’d died, but I’d gained a new life with infinite possibilities. I’d found freedom like I could have never imagined, happiness in my own abilities to overcome, and a companion in Riftan.
This new life with him wasn’t the hell he’d warned me it would be. Instead, it was like my own really fucked up version of heaven.