Love is an emotion meant to last no more than a human lifetime
11
Diamonds glittered in a celestial dance with Prague’s night lights, all seen from my quiet corner leaning against the windows of our condo. Only the shadows of crenelations pierced through the artwork of the inky canvas created by the dim moonlight. I envisioned how brilliant that scene would be during the day, since I couldn’t see it for myself.
“What are you thinking about?” Riftan asked, handing me a small glass of wine.
“About the sun.” I released the tiniest laugh under my breath, as though it’d been a joke to myself.
“Do you miss it?”
“Something like that.”
He brightened, changing his tone as if he’d moved on to a new subject. “Will you meet me out on the balcony in three minutes?”
Startled by his suddenness, I gave him a look.
Not waiting for my response, he turned tail and scampered off into his room.
Left in the silence of our living room, I figured that meant I was expected on the balcony in three. I couldn’t be out there for long, since the sun would snake its fiery tendrils into the sky very soon, but I trusted Riftan to know that.
As I stepped out onto the balcony, the night embraced me with a serene chill. The weaving tapestry of the city and sky was more alive without the separation of glass between me and it. Finding the railing, I leaned into it, reaching my nose toward the unique mineral scents of ancient building stones and the meandering Vltava River.
Only a moment later, Riftan came dashing through the open door like an eager kid on Christmas morning. His hair, though styled earlier that night, flopped over his forehead when he screeched to a halt by my side. It was so far from his usual stoicism that it made me laugh outright. “What’s gotten into you?”
He beamed, sharing a smile that lit up his entire face. “It’s a surprise. Close your eyes.”
I did as he’d said, all the while holding back a stupid, giddy grin of my own. I’d always had an impractical love for surprises.
My senses kindled at the touch of Riftan’s fingers on my hair as he gathered it over one of my shoulders. A moment later, something cold draped over my chest. “Okay, you can look now.”
Opening my eyes, I looked down at the golden chain wrapped around my neck. Hanging at the end and inlaid in golden prongs was a smooth oval stone about the size of my fingernail. Despite the dim light, the stone still glowed a brilliant amber with swirls of deep orange and flecks of white that flickered like tiny, imprisoned sunbeams. It was beautiful. Maybe not as glamorous as the many shiny things Johnny had once given me, but somehow more amazing than any of those less unique pieces. “What is this?” I asked.
“It’s an enchanted sunstone pendant. With it, you can go out in the sun.”
I squeaked. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. I was going to wait to give it to you, but I figured there is no harm in giving it to you now.”
Tears welled in my eyes; my breath caught in my throat at the prospect of seeing Prague’s lively streets in the daylight. “Thank you so much!” I crashed into Riftan with a suffocating hug.
Unphased by my fervor, Riftan patted my hair and held me until my heart beat so rapidly I knew he’d notice my discomposure. Setting his nose against my head, Riftan whispered into my hair. “Now you can finally watch the sunrise with me.”
His statement sent me overboard, the butterflies in my stomach going feral for him. I should have pulled away, but I didn’t want to be any farther from him. Not to mention, I couldn’t look him in his stunning eyes. Not without this exchange ending in some sort of dirty shenanigan.
Gently snaking his hand between us, Riftan pulled my chin from his chest and motioned toward the sky. I tried to ignore the lightness in my head when he smirked, sparking a raw heat in my bone marrow that burned to be closer to him.
When he nudged me further, I responded obediently by shifting my gaze toward the changing sky. What was once a dark indigo, dotted with glimmering stars, now faded to aqua. In the distance, the sleepy city streets reawakened ever so slowly, one trolly honk at a time. Gold and pink hues spilled over the nearest buildings, painting the city line’s horizon. For the first time all night, there was one thing that could captivate me more than the man who held me close.
As the first rays of sunlight leapt over buildings, I cringed, fearing them as they met my skin. The warmth was nominal, and it didn’t shock me as my response may have indicated I thought it might. Instead, the only discomfort I felt was from the brightness of the beams themselves in my sensitive eyes. I squinted, hunching away from the prick of light that burned even when I wasn’t looking at it. “Wow, it’s so much brighter than I remember.”
“Oh, yeah, here; I was prepared for this.” Riftan pulled away and patted his pant’s pockets before taking out a pair of sunglasses. “In all honesty, you’ll never adjust to that. It’s best to get friendly with a good pair of sunglasses before you start going out in the daylight.” Flipping them open, Riftan set the sunglasses over my nose and tucked them behind my ears.
His fingers left a trail of goosebumps over my skin as they lingered on my cheek before finally dropping back down around my waist. When he returned his gaze to the color-changing sky, I did the same, able to appreciate it for its beauty without pain pinching at my retinas.
So close to Riftan, I was aware of every little movement he made, from his hand clasping tighter on my waist, to the hastening beat of his heart thrumming away in my ears. So, I took notice when he shifted to raise his hand over his eyes and shielded them from the glare of the rising sun. Turning away from the scenery, I found Riftan’s squinting eyes already trained on me. I reached up, holding my hand against his to help shield the sun, hoping that would make up for taking his only protection from the harsh rays. His face relaxed, relief lacing a throaty chuckle.
“Sorry I took your sunglasses,” I added.
“It’s okay. I brought them for you.” He took a step, pressing our bodies together until we shared the same space. With no room between us, my free hand landed on his chest, prudent for the time being.
His roving eyes dropped down my lifted arm and followed my outline up to my neck. Not far behind, the hand he’d been shielding with followed that same path. Like always, his touch didn’t hold back. Soft but demanding, it was perpetually like a plea for more—or maybe it was my senses doing the pleading.
Though Riftan’s eyes didn’t waver from mine, locking me in a heady staring contest that never seemed to end, he made no move to close the distance between us. For someone so touchy, he was being awfully timid.
Maybe making the first move is my job.And why not make that move? I could find no reason not to fall head over heels for Riftan. He was chivalrous, more handsome than anyone I thought could exist, and he’d never been anything but kind to me—except when he bit me and left me for dead, something he had long since made up for. So, without a reason not to, I was going to kiss him.
Pulling my hand that’d been blocking the sun against his cheek, I leaned into him. Slowly, I diminished the gap that’d existed between our mouths. The idea of his sharp fangs against my lips tantalized every bit of my being to the point I was nearly yanked from consciousness when our lips never did meet. Instead, the hand Riftan had gently set on the nape of my neck was pulling me back, away from him. Tone nonchalant, he asked, “What are you doing?”
I’d never been much for timidity when it came to romance, so I answered truthfully, “I was going to kiss you.”
“Well, don’t.” His lips moved simply, like what they said was a given. “The manner of our relationship can’t be romantic, so don’t make it that way.”
Didn’t he hold me whenever the hell he wanted to and touch me like my skin was practically his own? How was I the one acting romantic? What about our relationship up until now has been anything but romantic? “And why can’t it be romantic?” I asked, not to push it on him, but out of genuine inquisition.
“Many reasons. First and foremost, we are going to be together for the next couple of years, and I don’t want trivial relationship issues to make things harder. Plus, I’m over seven hundred years older than you are and I am also your teacher for the time being. I must hold power over you as your mentor, and I can’t in my right mind court a lady whom I don’t treat as my equal.”
His words and his actions seemed to disagree as he held his arm around my waist and his hand on my neck. Not to mention, leading up to this, he’d hinted that this kind of fun was what he had in mind for us. “When you turned me, you said it was going to be fun. You made me think that this was what you had in mind.”
A playful smile spread over his lips, and Riftan suppressed a giggle. “You’d only think I meant it that way, my dear, because you were once a dirty-minded hooker.”
I tapped his chest with an irritated finger. I probably snarled, too. “I told you. I’m not, and never was, a hooker!”
He ignored me, smirking at the fiery response that’d gotten him, only to go on and say, “Besides, you’ll learn soon enough that things are different now that you’re immortal. The biggest change will be that of your relationships—be they romantic or platonic. Love is an emotion that is only meant to last a human lifetime at most. Immortal relationships always end in heartbreak, and then you’re left with an ex who never dies. I assure you, I don’t need to be that for you. You’ll have plenty of time to collect broken hearts with other immortals. I don’t need to be your first.”
Still determined to have him, I asked, “And what if it really is just for fun and not a relationship?”
A dirty smile crept over his fangs. “Do you honestly think that the both of us could keep emotions completely uninvolved? Because if you do, I can assure you that you’re lying to yourself. Especially not with the heightened emotions that you have yet to experience—much less control—as a vampire.”
“So, you think I’d be the one to catch feelings?” Obviously, he didn’t know me well enough yet. I was the queen of one-night stands—before Johnny, of course.
“I’m saying that any immortal with overly sensitive emotions makes for bad friends with benefits.”
“So, you really aren’t going to let me kiss you?”
“Mm…” he thought for a moment before settling with confidence, “No.”
“Ugh.” I pried myself from his arms and strolled inside, plucking the wings off of every last butterfly that’d been fluttering in my stomach for him.
“Don’t be mad, love,” he called after me, his voice a sickening sweet lull from his accented tone.
“Don’t call me that!” I shouted, leaving the budding sunlight in exchange for my dark bedroom, where I slammed the door shut.
It was one thing to nix the romance, but I wouldn’t stand for his lovey-dovey attitude if it was only leading me on.
Riftan had somehow, miraculously, inexplicably, unattainably, terribly, and successfully, gotten under my skin. If I was being entirely honest, I had never been turned down like he’d done to me. After years of boys throwing themselves at my feet, my ego had grown large, and maybe that’s why Riftan’s rejection had my entire body gripped with this foreign, unsettling angst. If it wasn’t that, then it meant there was a much more regrettable reason for how his refusal irritated me—and that was that I had already fallen for him.
In any case, Riftan had a point. We were stuck together for the foreseeable future, and I simply had to find my own way to make that time together bearable. Even if it meant acclimating myself to the way he treated me without falling any harder for him.
Speaking of the devil—a knock on the door cued his inevitable arrival. “Can’t I be alone for five minutes?” I draped the question in sarcasm, since it’d been much longer than minutes. I’d actually been sulking in my room for several hours. It wasn’t like I was avoiding Riftan, since that was usually when I would have been going to bed anyway. But I had been hiding in my room despite my mind being too busy to fall asleep. Instead, I’d looked for a different way to distract myself. Since I couldn’t talk to any of my old friends anymore, I’d settled onto my bed and started painting my fingernails with a dark green polish I’d brought from home. The sun had long since risen and I’d been basking in its glory from my bedroom window, even if the view wasn’t as good as from the balcony where I’d left Riftan. So yes, in a way, I was partially avoiding him for the sake of some time to myself—something I hadn’t had in weeks with him around. Unphased by the subtle suggestion I’d given him to leave me alone, Riftan barged into my room.
Hardly sparing a glance, I asked, “Did I say you could come in?”
“Did I ask for permission?” He closed the distance between the two of us and extended an offering of a steaming hot mug.
“What’s that?” I would have taken it, but I didn’t see a reason to stop what I was doing for him without knowing what for.
“It’s coffee. Something you haven’t gotten to try yet with new tastebuds.”
“Will I like it?”
“Undoubtedly. It’s black and slightly burnt, which might sound gross to you, but you’ll understand once you try it.”
“I’m going to bed soon; I don’t need coffee.” I refuted his offer, focusing on my nails once again as I moved to my toes.
Riftan got on his knees in front of where I sat on my bed. “You won’t feel any effects from the caffeine anymore—it’s simply for the taste. I promise it’s good.” He pushed the cup within the boundary of my personal space, and I nearly took it given the plea in his voice. He continued. “I’ll trade you and paint your toenails for you. Please?”
When my eyes flicked back to his, I found the most hopeful, sparkling puppy dog eyes, wide as blue saucers, imploring me to agree with his proposition. His brows flinched under my gaze, cheeks teasing at a smile his lips didn’t convey.
“Why?” I probed.
“To make up for being an ass earlier. You were mad at me, and rightly so. I may have been leading you on a little, and if it’s what you please, I’ll try and be better about that.”
Did that mean that he was going to keep his hands to himself going forward? And if so, was that truly what I wanted? My heart responded before my brain could catch up, trading him the polish for the mug of steamy coffee.
He lit up. “Does that mean you forgive me?”
“We’ll see how well you can do with my nails, then I’ll decide.”
“Psh,” he scoffed. “The nineties were practically yesterday for me. I’m undeniably great at painting nails.” He reached a gentle hand over my ankle and slid it toward the edge of my bed. From there, he focused on each of my toenails with precision, ticking his head to the side as he worked.
I let him do as he wished, though I didn’t think having his hands all over my delicate feet was necessarily the best way to not lead me on. However, he did seem content with it, and I was content when he had his hands on me. So maybe it’d be fine if nothing changed between us. Riftan and I could stay the way we were—no more and no less. Though it’d be strange, and I’d never quite get used to the yearning he summoned deep in my bones, I’d take this relationship we had over no relationship at all with Riftan.
Or so I hoped I could tell myself.