Chapter 37
Xavier didn’t know what had happened. Three days later, he remained baffled at how he’d had the nicest not-breakup breakup ever.
“All right brother of mine.” Auggie sighed and played with the straw in her juice glass. Hermione had already been by twice to challenge Auggie into a few rounds of “Your Mother” jokes and a glare fest. “What the hell did you do?”
“What?”
“You’ve been glum, chum.” She chuckled, amused with herself. “What’s up? Did you lose your girlfriend? Because I’m sensing you’ve joined the lovelorn.”
“I don’t know.”
“How can you not know?”
He sipped his coffee, his appetite absent though he’d ordered food to keep Auggie off his back. “That’s what’s so baffling. We had the best time at her sister’s wedding. We only argue about TV shows that she’s clearly wrong about.”
“You and your Daleks.”
He ignored that. “We have the most amazing connection. And, I mean, in bed…” He cleared his throat. “Let’s just say it’s off-the-charts hot.”
“Good for you, studly. So what’s the problem? Is she not emotional enough for you? Too ‘dramatic,’ as I’ve often been accused of being?”
“No. She, uh, she told me she loves me.”
Auggie stared, her smile slow but wide. “No kidding. Way to go, slugger! You have them dropping hearts for you left and right, don’t you? Any more signs of Christine?”
“No.” He absently rubbed the back of his head. “What’s wrong with me? I’ve got the most beautiful, perfect woman in love with me. She’s sexy and giving. I don’t want to be with anyone else but her. So how did we break up?”
“That’s a mystery, for sure. Who broke it off?”
“No one. Well, maybe her. I don’t know.” Mystified, he had no idea how he’d sabotaged this relationship.
“I bet she did.” Auggie leaned in, her gaze piercing. “I bet she got sick of your distance bullshit and called you on it.”
“What?”
Auggie shook her head. “Bro, you know I love you. But you live too much in that fat head of yours.”
“Up yours.”
“See? It’s that attitude I’m talking about. You call me dramatic.”
“You are.”
“So what if I am? I try my best to find love and laughter in this big ball of worry we call life.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m trying to converse on your level, professor.” She lifted her nose in the air.
He had to laugh at that. “You are so annoying.”
“Yeah? Well so are you when you don’t like what you’re hearing.”
“What does that mean?”
They both paused as Hermione returned with their breakfast orders.
“Try not to choke on it, demon spawn,” she said to Auggie, then with a bright smile, to Xavier, added, “Eat up, honey. You look like you need it. Still handsome though. Always.” Hermione winked, gave Auggie the finger, then left.
He watched their server flirt all the way to the counter. “I don’t understand your relationship with Hermione.”
“Meh, few do. But that’s her way of telling me not to be late to tonight’s roller derby match. We bet serious money on it.” Auggie tucked into her food and said, “You have issues.”
“With my sister’s table manners, yes I do.”
She chewed with her mouth open and swallowed loudly. “Yet another issue. Your intolerance for all things fun.”
“Fun? I saw you masticating eggs.” He felt pretty proud for working “masticating”—his word of the day—into common conversation.
Auggie gave him a thumbs up. “Nice job.”
“Thanks.”
“But let’s get back to why you and Justine broke up.”
“I’m not sure we did.” Were they maybe on a break?
“Well, dumbass, have you talked to her?”
“Um, no.” He scowled. “And how about you lighten up on all the insults?”
Auggie laughed. “Yeah, right. Look, you’re acting like a teenager too afraid to talk to his crush and avoid a simple misunderstanding. You told me that Justine told you to figure things out. So what are you figuring out?”
“I… Hell. It’s your fault,” he snapped.
“Me?”
“Yeah. You made me think about how I acted with Mom’s boyfriends.”
“It’s not like she’s had a million of them. Six, no, seven, right? And of those, only three were long-term. That’s not counting her coffee dates. I’m mean real dating, like, a relationship that last more than a month.”
“How do you keep track?”
Auggie snorted. “I love how you pretend you don’t know about Mom’s social life.”
Sadly, she was right. He did know. He just didn’t like to think about it. “I’m uncomfortable with Mom dating. And you’re right. I didn’t like Jared, and I’m not keen on her with Top. And I actually like Top.”
“You didn’t like Noel, but you accepted him because he was a dick.
You knew Mom would never stick with him.
I know you because I’m the same way. I just realize and accept my shortcomings.
You try to pretend they’re not there.” She softened her voice.
“Xavier, you’ve dated a bunch of women over the years.
But you always find a flaw with them. Why do you think that is? ”
“Because I’m looking for Ms. Right.” It wasn’t wrong not to want to settle.
“Who you’ll never find. She will never exist for you because you’re afraid if you do find her, something will happen and she’ll leave. Then you’ll be as sad and freaked out as Mom was when Dad died.” She shrugged. “You should already know this.”
“What? That’s not true.”
She quirked a brow, just like he often did, and he stared at her, as if trying to see the truth in the mirror of his twin. “Look, I went to a lot of therapy while you were going to school to be a shrink.”
“Therapist.”
“Whatever. I know my issues. I love excitement and have a flair for—sure, fine, I’ll admit it—drama. But I know when I’m picking a trainwreck of a guy. I’m not ready to settle down yet, so I go for flashy and fun. Or at least, I used to.”
He stared. “What? So what’s the deal with your new boyfriend? Is it really Benji?”
She blushed. “Shut up.”
“Ha! I knew it. You’re into the yeti.”
“Don’t call him that.”
“Hell. I never called him that. You did!”
“Well, it’s not like we’re actually dating or anything. Not really.”
“Is that who you were visiting the other day when you stopped by the complex but never stopped in to see me?”
“What?”
He gave her the eye. “Justine saw you. You talked to her, dumbass.”
“Hey, you said no more name calling.”
“As applied to me. Not you.”
“Say what you want, loser. But at least I’m giving the yeti a chance. You want to cut Justine off before she can be someone special. Because you stupidly think if you lose her now, you won’t be as hurt when you lose her later.”
He just stared at his sister, startled she sounded so intelligent about processing emotions.
“Hey, I keep telling you I’m more than a pretty face.”
“Huh.”
Hermione walked by, overheard, and laughed and laughed.
“I need to talk to someone about this,” he muttered.
“Damn skippy.” She lowered her voice. “For someone moonlighting as Aunt Truth, you sure are adverse to hearing it. We should call you Aunt Moron.”
“Oh, that’s mature.”
“Yeah? You want mature? I’ll give you a few more names. Imagine me giving up true love because I’m scared. Oooh. How scary. Love is terrriffyyinnng.” She made fun of him for the next few minutes, during which Xavier wondered how his overly dramatic sister had learned to be so smart.
And how he’d become so vacuous.
And double points for me for using another word of the day.