Chapter 47
FORTY-SEVEN
It was a glorious summer’s morning, which allowed the whole front of the event hut to be opened up. Kate had set up tables, chairs and flowery parasols outside. The whole area looked really quaint and inviting.
The vibrant woman greeted Gracie with a smile and a kiss. ‘Wow, you look amazing, girl. The break has certainly done you good.’
‘You look pretty chirpy yourself and I had a fab time, thanks.’
Kate picked a piece of litter up from the grass. ‘Where did you go in the end?’
‘Noms has got a friend who has a villa in St Lucia, we went there. It was pure bliss.’
‘Lucky you! I adore the Caribbean. We ended up going down to Cornwall for a week; the house was lovely but the weather was bloody awful.’
‘Bad weather means lots more bed time, though, surely?’ Gracie smirked.
‘Really? With a petulant child on board? We only had sex once.’
‘Well, it only takes one of those little swimmers, Kate.’
‘I know.’ Her face dropped. ‘I just wish Kevin would enter them into a few more galas.’
Gracie smiled. ‘Well, chin up, chicken, we have a new venture now to take your mind off all that. Saying that, I’m a bit nervous, actually.’
Kate put her arm on Gracie’s. ‘Aw, don’t be. To be honest, I’ve no idea how many we will get coming along today. The Facebook page you set up has helped, but I’ve only been back a week myself and know I could have done more advertising.’
‘This looks fantastic, though.’ Gracie scanned the outside area. ‘And I’ve got more flyers to dot around today too, the same ones I dropped in some places in the high street.’
‘Good, good.’ Kate retrieved her mobile from her pocket and checked for messages. ‘That’s somebody else who’s coming from the school.’
‘Great! I can obviously put a lot more time in moving forward and I think it was a genius idea to do a launch for the whole event business and not just start with Miscarriage Matters. This weather makes it perfect, too.’
Gracie went inside and noticed a sectioned-off area with a dressing-up box, toys and books. Kate followed her in. ‘Brilliant, you’ve set up a play area. You’ve thought of everything.’
Kate flushed at the praise. ‘Well, I thought a little investment now with toys, the parasols and all that would bolster interest. I’ve got jugs of lemonade and fizz in the fridge. The urn is on in the kitchen for teas and coffees. Mac from the café is firing up the BBQ at eleven.’
‘Great, you’ve got it all covered, by the look of it. Noms will be down at ten to set up her bag stall and Ed said he’d connect my phone to the speakers when he’s got a minute.’
‘Good stuff. My make-up friend is coming at ten. Sally, that’s my author friend, is busy today, but hopefully will make the next one. Talking of the lovely Ed, I don’t suppose you have seen him since you’ve been back, have you?’
Gracie blushed slightly.
‘Ah, so you have?’ Kate smirked.
‘So you have what?’ Ed appeared with a big smile on his face. Gracie blushed some more. She couldn’t deny that sex with him the other night had been amazing. He had been so gentle, but also so passionate. It was as if opening up to him about the babies and him being completely honest with her about his predicament had allowed her to feel so much closer to him. Meeting Leo had also given her an inner confidence. For the first time in ages she liked her body and wasn’t shy of being naked. She still wasn’t the size she’d like to be, by any means, but she was brown and toned and, most importantly, felt really well.
She had been nervous to make love to someone other than Lewis and, as she lay looking up at Ed’s ceiling, she did fleetingly think of him. More because she had made the breakthrough of sleeping with somebody else, than the fact she was comparing the two.
‘Just the man.’ Gracie smiled. ‘I need to set up the music.’
‘Here, give me your phone, I’ll get it sorted.’
Gracie handed her handset over and followed him into the hall. Within seconds he connected it up and soothing notes from London Grammar caught the breeze outside.
‘God, you’re good.’ Gracie skimmed his bum with her hand.
‘I know. Bloody brilliant.’
He ushered her into the kitchen area and edged her towards the wall. She put her hands under his shirt and felt instantly horny.
She laughed as he bent to kiss her.
He pushed himself gently against her and whispered, ‘God, I so want to fuck you again.’
She laughed. ‘I love it when you talk dirty but I’ll need to check my diary. I’m a busy girl now, don’t you know.’
‘Well, don’t take too long, or the women of Wimbledon Common will be forming an orderly queue later.’
Gracie mock-swiped his face.
‘The other night was lovely.’ Gracie blushed.
‘I do my best, girl.’ He kissed her on the forehead. ‘Good luck today, I know it will be great. Give me a shout when you’re done, maybe we can grab a drink.’
With that he headed out into the sunshine, jumped on his quad bike and shot off.
Gracie flew around making last-minute checks to ensure everything was perfect. She had created flyers to promote the party side of the venue, plus a smaller, more discreet flyer to promote Miscarriage Matters. She dotted them around on the picnic tables. There were clipboards and application forms on the side tables, in case anyone wanted to book an event today with a twenty per cent discount.
By midday, everything was ready. The smell of cooking from the BBQ, combined with the music and the sunshine, threw a distinct party vibe on the breeze.
Gracie poured two glasses of Prosecco and handed one to Kate.
‘Ready?’
‘As we’ll ever be.’
They raised their glasses. ‘Cheers to us.’
Despite a lot of the Wimbledon women being extremely wealthy, as Kate had guessed, the offer of a free glass of fizz at lunchtime would still draw them in.
‘The rich are usually the tightest, you wait and see,’ she had said to Gracie.
Gracie had replied, ‘We are here to help anyone, from whatever circumstance, so it doesn’t matter how much free fizz is quaffed.’
And quaff a lot of them did. By one o’clock the fizz had run out and Mac was sweating furiously from putting his fortieth chicken skewer on the BBQ. Gracie reckoned there were nearly seventy people milling around. She and Kate were absolutely delighted.
She had already taken a booking for a tenth birthday party in two weeks’ time, and a yoga instructor wanted a weekly hour-long slot on a Tuesday morning. A few Miscarriage Matters flyers had also been taken from the piles on the edge of each table, so that was a start at least.
It wasn’t until three o’clock that the crowd started to dwindle. People had made the most of the sunshine, sitting at the tables, chatting and enjoying the ambience. Noms was chuffed, as she had sold eight handbags and Kate’s make-up friend had almost sold out of her revolutionary new ‘magic’ wrinkle cream.
Gracie had started to take the parasols down to store inside when a young girl, who Gracie guessed could be no more than eighteen, approached her. She had mousey shoulder-length hair, small rimless glasses and wore a flowing maxi dress with a big sunflower print.
‘Excuse me.’ Her voice was very quiet.
‘Can I help?’ Gracie replied kindly.
‘Your club about the miscarriages?’
‘Yes. You can talk to me about that.’ Gracie stopped what she was doing. ‘Here. Take a seat.’ She patted the seat next to her.
‘Well, I’m not sure this is appropriate at all, but I just wanted to talk to somebody really.’
‘Go on.’ Gracie could see the girl was overflowing with emotion.
‘The thing is – and you may hate me for saying this – I really want to have a miscarriage.’
Gracie took in a big gulp of warm summer air.
‘So you’re pregnant, obviously? How many months?’
‘Not even a month, well, I guess about a month. I’ve just missed my period and done a test. I can’t have a baby. It’s the wrong time. I go to university in September, it will just mess my life up. My parents will kill me. And I know what you’re thinking.’
‘Hey, no judgement here.’ Gracie had seen the girl having a glass of fizz earlier. ‘I’m listening. What’s your name, by the way?’
‘It’s Lana. I bet you’re thinking what’s a bright girl who’s off to get a degree doing not using a condom.’
‘We’ve all made mistakes, Lana.’
‘I just can’t face the thought of having an abortion. If I were to just lose the baby naturally, then that would be OK. Then it wouldn’t be my fault. I’m sorry. I should go. I can’t believe I’m telling you this.’
‘Don’t be silly. This is what this club is going to be about; we should all be honest about how we are feeling, and not what we think we should be feeling. Every day I think should I have eaten this, drunk that? Not eaten this, not drunk that. Rested more. My world fell out of me with my babies, Lana. But I do understand how you must be feeling.’
‘I’m so sorry that happened to you,’ the young girl added. ‘Do you disagree with abortion?’
‘No, I don’t. We have a right over our own bodies,’ Gracie replied immediately. ‘I do think that women need to take responsibility, but I’m no prude. I got drunk and had sex without a condom when I was your age. I have to say I was terrified for the whole week leading up to my period.’
‘You must think I’m so awful.’ Lana got up to leave.
‘You sit right down, young lady. You have the right to make a choice. You have your whole life ahead of you. There are always ways and means to manage with a child but it would be bloody hard at your age. How old are you?’
‘Seventeen.’
‘So, if you did have this baby, then by the time you get to my age, he or she would be twentyish! All wouldn’t be lost. And at least you know you can get pregnant, a lot of women can’t do that, you know.’
Gracie realised that her words would mean nothing to this young girl right at this moment, but she hoped that being balanced in her view would guide her to make the right decision, whatever that may be. She envied the bundle of cells growing inside her, but she did not envy her situation at all. At seventeen, she would have been very torn herself about what to do.
Lana sighed. ‘Thank you.’
‘I hope talking has helped a little bit. You should talk to your mum, she might surprise you. Granted, she may be angry at first but, do you know what, a mother’s love will burn through that anger pretty damn quickly, I bet you.’
Gracie thought of her own mother, whose love probably wouldn’t even smoulder a ten-denier stocking, and felt momentarily sad.
Kate walked over when Lana had left. ‘That looked intense.’
‘Yes, poor kid. She’s pregnant and wants to miscarry.’
Kate put her hand to her heart. ‘We are going to have to be strong ourselves doing this, aren’t we?’
‘We are, but how wonderful she felt safe enough to confide in me. We are going to do so much good, here, Kate. I suddenly feel I have a purpose.’ Gracie welled up. Kate squeezed her hand tightly.
Gracie cleared her throat and her voice lightened. ‘I think that went rather well, don’t you?’
‘It did. A big pat on the back for us both.’ Kate grinned and headed off the kitchen.
A male voice interrupted Gracie’s thoughts. ‘And how could it not be a success with you at the helm.’
Gracie’s voice shook. ‘Lewis, what are you doing here?’ He looked more handsome than she had remembered with his blue eyes matching his shirt. His tanned face, bringing out his bright smile. She also noticed the bags under his eyes and felt a sense of sadness enveloping him. Her heart began to beat at one hundred miles an hour.
‘I saw a flyer in the post office with your name on it. I knew you were here. Gracie, I cannot stop thinking about you.’
A vision of him proposing flashed through her mind. Gracie gulped. ‘I’m so sorry I ran away from you.’
At that moment Ed screeched up on his quad bike and walked over towards them.
He smacked her on the bottom. ‘So many people! See, I told you you’d be brilliant. Celebrations later, I reckon.’ He noticed Lewis. ‘All right, mate?’
Feeling Lewis’s pain, Gracie cringed. ‘Ed, this is Lewis.’
‘Ah, the infamous Lewis, no less?’
Wishing that the ground would swallow her up, Gracie slowly nodded.
Lewis’s face was contorted. ‘Didn’t take you long, did it, Gracie? Well, fuck you. I’ll leave you to… get on with it with your…’ He looked Ed up and down. ‘Your gardener.’ He marched towards his car.
Gracie wanted the ground to swallow her up. Ed went to follow him but Gracie blocked his way.
‘Ed, don’t.’ She felt a lump rise in her throat and ran to the toilet. Looking at herself in the mirror, she bit her lip. The realisation dawned. Yes, she was still angry with Lewis, but true love was a relentless bugger and, cheat or no cheat, they had been his babies, too.