Chapter 71
SEVENTY-ONE
Lewis flicked through the TV channels. Not even a weeknight football match could keep his mind focused on anything but Gracie and the Annalize situation. He got himself a can of beer from the fridge, took a sip and put it to one side. Drinking wasn’t the answer, either. He felt like he was going mad. As much as he tried, he couldn’t make Gracie love him.
He took his toolbox from under the sink and made his way to the nursery. Slowly and painstakingly, and with tears running down his cheeks, he took the two little Moses baskets apart and placed the frames and mattresses neatly against the wall. He boxed up the soft toys and ceiling mobile and gently pulled off the teddy-bear border. All that was left was a white-walled empty shell. The promised warm, happy family of four that could have laughed and grown together in this space was reduced to one sad, lonely man with huge regrets.
He put away his tools and sat back down in front of the TV. At least Gracie would be pleased he’d sorted the spare room. Maybe it was better to see if one of the mums she knew could make use of everything, rather than sell it to a complete stranger on eBay. A good excuse to ring her. He was just about to dial her number when a text flashed up.
Saw Annalize. She lost the baby. It wasn’t yours. G
Lewis phoned her immediately.
‘Wow, OK. Thanks for letting me know.’
‘Kind of a relief for you, I guess?’ Gracie was curt.
‘Gracie, don’t be like this.’
‘Like what?’
‘You know what I mean. At least we can move on now, can’t we? I want to see you, Gracie, I miss you so much.’
‘I texted, not called, because I’m on my way out.’
‘With lover boy, I take it?’
Gracie chose to ignore his comment. Yes, she had arranged to see Ed, but just for a drink and a catch-up. She was confused about how she felt about him, too, especially after her night with Leo. In fact, she felt like her heart and head had been put in a blender and they were whizzing around at one hundred miles an hour. If only the end result could be a love potion that led her to happiness with the right person.
‘I sorted the nursery tonight. Everything is taken down, even the border. I wondered if any of your ladies might have use for it?’
The finality of it all caused Gracie’s heart to break a little bit more. ‘Well, at least that’s something. I’ll ask Kate if she wants anything.’ She croaked.
‘See.’ Lewis spoke softly. ‘I can do some things right.’
Gracie flipped to curt. ‘It’s only taken you a year.’
Lewis sighed. ‘I just can’t win with you at the moment, can I?’
‘No, Lewis, I’m afraid you can’t. Anyway, I’d better get on.’
‘So, when can I see you?’ His voice was soft and low.
‘See me for what, Lewis? All we do is argue.’
She could feel his pain at the other end of the phone and softened slightly. ‘Look, why don’t I come round Saturday morning and I’ll put some of the stuff in my car. At least it’s out of your way then.’
‘OK. Before twelve would be good as I’m going to the cricket in the afternoon.’
‘Yep, fine, must get your priorities straight, eh, Lewis?’
Lewis said goodbye, hung up and sighed deeply.
However she behaved, it was as if Gracie was tied to him by an invisible thread and he couldn’t bear to cut her free.
At least there wasn’t the added stress of Annalize’s baby being his. What a bloody relief! That would for certain have been the end of anything he might still be able to salvage with Gracie. He wondered, too, how he would have coped if he had found out he had lost yet another baby.
Despite everything, he hoped that Annalize was feeling OK. For fear of getting his head bitten off, he hadn’t dared ask Gracie where she had seen her to be told the news.
He stretched out on the sofa. He felt tired of everything. He would see Gracie on Saturday, make his last attempt to win her back and then, maybe, he would do his best to move on. She was seeing somebody else after all.
In fact, he thought, maybe he should follow the age-old adage of setting her free. If she came back to him, then it was meant to be? Perhaps he should start dating other people, too. Maybe he was just hanging on to the good memories in their relationship. He took a slug of his now warm beer and flicked on the TV.
An advert came up for an online dating site.
Who was he bloody kidding? He hadn’t actually even thought about sex since the split, which was very unlike him. There was only one Gracie Davies in this world and he was going to do everything in his power to get her back.