Chapter 34
CHAPTER 34
Perhaps joining Jack in the shower that morning was a mistake.
They’d spent the night playing strip go-kart racing, the loser of each game having to remove a piece of clothing. But because they were them, two of the most competitive humans on the planet, neither would throw games to get to the sex faster, no matter how much they wanted it. For a good half an hour, they were taking off one sock at a time. Haleigh counted each of her earrings as an item, and Jack shed coins from his pocket before removing his pants. By the final match, he was only wearing a shirt, and she had nothing but her panties on. She’d spent the race sitting on his lap, grinding against his rigid length as they both tried to keep their cars on the road. Haleigh’s underwear was gone and Jack was deep inside her by the second lap, their go-karts crashed on the road, forgotten.
Needless to say, they’d gone to bed pretty late.
Haleigh had truly been trying to conserve some water and steal a kiss (and maybe one more glimpse of Jack’s excellent ass) when she slipped into the shower, but he’d had his hands on her hips the second the water touched her skin and didn’t let her go until she came twice.
Then Twinkie had hidden one of Jack’s dress shoes, and he’d forgotten to plug his phone into the charger, and the poor guy was a mess as he ran out the door. Haleigh would have been concerned about how stressed he was, if not for the giant smile on his face.
Before heading out for her morning walk with Peanut, she wandered the house, picking up her dirty clothes and neatening her clutter. She’d basically been living here for the past few days, and the bathroom and bedroom were looking a little too much like her room at Stanton’s. Jack had enough going on at work. She didn’t need to turn his home into the aftermath of a tornado.
She spotted the lunch bag on the table as she was stuffing her belongings into an extra laundry basket. “Shit.”
He was always complaining that there were no good food options near his office.
She dropped his lunch into her giant tote and grabbed her keys. She could swing by on the way to walk Peanut, Murray, and Phil. The Chihuahua and her brothers couldn’t tell time. They’d have no idea if Haleigh was a few minutes late. (And just in case Peanut happened to be some kind of dog savant in hiding, Haleigh would give them all a few extra minutes in the dog park to make up for it.)
Spring had shoved off winter’s last grasp as March eased closer to April, and Haleigh left her windows down as she drove across town. With the wind in her loose hair and her favorite songs on the radio, she was a bird soaring through clear skies. A butterfly dipping toward a flower in bloom. She had Jack, and soon she’d start a full-time job. Joey’s party was just around the corner, and for the first time, Haleigh was excited for it. She wouldn’t have to lie, or spend all night hiding, or get drunk to numb herself against the polite but critical responses to her life choices.
She was proud of who she was, and what she was doing. And who she was with.
For once, her life looked good to everyone—including herself.
Haleigh had only been to Jack’s office once, so it took her a few tries to find the right building. Inside, the receptionist directed her to a set of cubicles at the far end of the room, near the windows.
There was a tall man with salt-and-pepper hair and an unhappy look on his face standing at Jack’s desk as she approached.
Jack’s shoulders were tense and squared, and a muscle feathered beneath his ear as he swallowed. “I’m sorry—” he said.
The older man shook his head. “As lead, you need to be aware of what your team is doing.”
“I know, Peter. I told Dylan I would take care of it, but she went over my head. She didn’t give me time to address anything.”
“How can I consider you for a higher position if you can’t manage a team of three?”
From the way the back of his chair was trembling, Jack had to be bouncing his knee. His fingers were most likely dancing against the underside of the desk too, where this guy, presumably Jack’s boss, couldn’t see them.
Jack’s spine was pin-straight. Rigid enough to crack. Haleigh could only imagine what was going through his head right now. To be chastised by his boss out here in the open like this, after how hard Jack had been working. He had to be falling apart inside. Haleigh wished she could rush up and hug him. Or kick Jack’s boss in the knees. She forced herself to hang back.
She couldn’t mama bear all his problems away.
Jack cleared his throat. “It won’t happen again.”
The man nodded, dropping a stack of papers on Jack’s desk. “If it does, I’ll need to rethink the trajectory we had you on. Maybe you aren’t as qualified as I thought.”
She was proud of how firm Jack’s voice was when he said, “I am.” If it was her, Haleigh would have fallen apart.
Her heart raced, slamming against her chest. That tone. It brought back the worst memories from her copyediting job. All the times she’d cried in her car on the way home because she hadn’t felt good enough. Every morning she could barely pull the covers off of her and face the day.
The multiple emergency calls she’d had to make to her therapist when her dark thoughts got too loud.
Work didn’t have to be like this. It shouldn’t be like this. You shouldn’t have to let a job eat you alive to prove you cared.
She waited until the man had been gone a few minutes before crossing the rest of the distance to Jack’s desk and knocking on the cubicle wall.
He spun to face her. Surprise creased his brow. “Hey. What are you doing here?”
Haleigh fished his lunch out of her tote. “You forgot this.” She held it up.
“You’re my hero.” The smile on his face was forced as he took the bag from her, the worry lines beside his eyes deep as rivers.
“You good?” She let her tone say everything her words didn’t: that she’d seen what had happened, that she knew even as she asked that he wasn’t okay. Who would be after that?
He froze.
“Jack.”
“What did you hear?”
“Enough.”
He pushed up from his chair. “Come on. I’ll walk you out.”
Haleigh didn’t argue. She wanted him to talk to her, to let some of that stress out, but it didn’t have to be in the middle of his office.
He held her hand tightly the entire walk to her car, like she was keeping him grounded.
“What happened?” Haleigh asked softly. She leaned against her car door.
He stepped beside her so their shoulders pressed together. The way his mouth tightened, she thought he was going to insist there was nothing to worry about, but then he sighed and his shoulders slumped.
“One of my team members messed up big time and she was so freaked out she didn’t tell anyone at first. I was trying not to have to report it—” His eyes were sad as they cut to Haleigh. “She’s a single mom and she needs this job, but Dylan went over my head. And now it’s a thing.”
Haleigh reached up and cradled his cheek. “Where does Dylan sit?”
“Haleigh.”
“I just want to talk to her.”
For a second, a small smile chased away the dark cloud on his face, and he shook his head, his stubble scratching against her palm. “I’ve got it under control.”
“I know you do. I want to talk to her for me.” She put on her fighting face.
Jack kissed her temple. “All I want is to get through the rest of this shit day and come home to you and my dog.”
Haleigh rested a palm against his chest. Heat filled her cheeks. She loved that she was his safe place to land.
The same way he’d always been for her.
After walking Peanut and her brothers and stopping by Stanton’s apartment for more clean clothes and her laptop, Haleigh headed back to Jack’s.
She planned to make sure that his evening was the very opposite of his stressful day.
Deep cleans were not her specialty, but she dusted and mopped and scoured every surface in the house until it looked (to her at least) like it was brand-new.
Then she pulled down the box of old recipes from his grandmother that Jack stored on the top of the fridge. Before she’d died, his nona had been an incredible cook. Haleigh remembered the way her mouth used to water at the smells from the kitchen whenever she joined Jack at his grandmother’s for dinner.
Nona had basically ruined tomato sauce for both of them, since no jarred version stood a chance next to hers. Jack called them all chunky tomato soup.
Nona’s “gravy” was thick and flavorful and hearty. Haleigh still laughed every time she thought about her first Friday-night dinner there, when Jack’s grandmother announced the gravy was ready, and Haleigh fully expected someone to pour brown sauce all over her spaghetti.
She ran her fingers over the woman’s tight, almost illegible handwriting. How had it already been ten years since she’d died? And fifteen since Haleigh’s dad passed away? Sometimes it felt like yesterday. Maybe because she and Jack were still here, still clinging to each other, just as they had then.
By the time six o’clock rolled around, the house smelled like an Italian feast, and Haleigh had a hot bath running in Jack’s ensuite. He had one of those giant soaking tubs, and she’d filled it with effervescent salts and calming oils, and lit two candles for ambience. If this didn’t help him relax, absolutely nothing would.
She was trying to find a good playlist when his voice startled her from the doorway. “The house smells like Nona’s.”
She grinned at him. “The gravy has been simmering for hours.”
His eyes moved from her face to the bathroom. A sly smile skipped up his mouth. “Are we taking a bath?” His fingers had already started to loosen his collar.
“ You’re taking a bath.”
He pouted. “It would be more fun with you.”
“Fun is not relaxing. You need to relax.” Haleigh had no doubt that if she poked his shoulders, they’d be hard as a rock. He could tell her all he wanted that he had everything under control at work, but she knew his boss’s words had wormed into his head. She knew he’d be playing them on repeat in his mind until they took root. Until he believed every wrong word.
He needed to leave that at work. Haleigh knew from experience how much work stress and general anxiety disorders didn’t mix well. But if she could make his house feel like an oasis, somewhere he could actually escape, maybe he’d be able to compartmentalize enough to be okay.
She just wanted him to be okay.
His eyes skimmed over her body in her tight tank top and leggings. “What I have in mind would be very relaxing.” The words came from deep in his throat.
Haleigh crossed the room to stand in front of him. Gazing up into his face, she helped him undo the next few buttons. “I love how you think I wouldn’t make you do all the work.”
She almost felt bad about the erection he released as he took off his pants. She truly had wanted the bath to be calming. But flirting with Jack was as natural as breathing. It had been painful not to do it for years thanks to their rules.
The moan he made as he climbed into the bath was almost as satisfying as the noises that came out of his mouth during sex. Setting herself down at the edge of the tub, she watched him sink into the water to his neck. His eyes drifted closed immediately.
“This is amazing,” he breathed. “You’re amazing.”
“I’m merely skilled with bath products.”
“You’re so much more than that, and you know it.”
Silence fell between them as Haleigh squirted shampoo in her hands, and lathered it into his hair. It took a minute for the stiffness from his gel to fade away as she massaged his scalp. She itched to ask how the rest of his day went, urge him to tell her how he was feeling, but that was how she processed things, not Jack.
Jack was a comtemplater. He took his time working through feelings, weighed his options, tried to be logical. She needed to let him do that now.
When she dipped her hands in the water, Jack turned his face and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.
As he rested his head back down against the tub, his expression softened into something serene.
Cupping water in her fingers, Haleigh released it slowly over his curls. She did it again and again, until it ran down his neck free of suds.
Uncapping the conditioner, she combed it through his hair with gentle fingers.
They’d taken showers together, he’d been inside her so many times this week, and yet this felt like the most intimate thing they’d ever shared.
She’d never been so comfortable with silence. So happy to be here with someone, without needing to say a word.
It was moments like this that reassured Haleigh that she’d made the right decision. That Jack was her person in every possible way.
As if he was thinking the same thing, he murmured, “I love you.”
He’d said these words to her before. So many times. For years before they’d written their rules, “I love you” had been as familiar to their friendship as their jokes. He’d whispered them in her ears as they’d clung to each other in Hawaii, still drowning in the newness of exploring each other’s bodies, of realizing that they fit together as well physically as they did in every other way. After Stanton’s party, he’d uttered them like a plea or a prayer.
But this time they sounded different to Haleigh’s ears. Real in a way they never had before. She tucked them into her heart because she knew they had no edges, no points.
Lowering her face to his head, she brushed her lips across his forehead, the gesture as tender as the words that left her mouth.
“I’ve loved you my whole life.”