Chapter 35
CHAPTER 35
Warm sun brushed against her cheeks, coaxing Haleigh’s eyes open.
Yawning, she stretched, a smile rising on her face. Jack’s weight in the bed beside her still made her giddy, filled her inside with light things like feathers. She loved falling asleep in his arms every night, and waking to his face each morning.
He’d been hinting again that she should move in with him, and for the first time, she was considering saying yes. This wasn’t Jack, her best friend, trying to save her from her messy life: this was Jack, who loved her, wanting to open more of his world to her.
And she wanted to take whatever he would give. And give him the same in return.
With another languid yawn, she reached for her phone to check the time.
The gasp that ripped from her mouth caused Jack to startle beside her.
“It’s ten.”
“Hmmm?” he grumbled.
She rolled over and pushed him with her hands. “Jack. You’re late for work.”
They hadn’t even had sex last night. After Jack’s bath, they’d eaten their spaghetti and gravy and curled up together on the couch reading. Haleigh was certain she’d heard Jack set an alarm.
Her heart seized as she waited for him to respond. He wouldn’t handle this well. He was never late for anything. Especially not work. And not after the way his boss had spoken to him yesterday.
Haleigh couldn’t help but think of Hawaii. Of that word he’d thrown at her like a dart. Mess. Would he take his panic out on her again like he had that day? Would he blame the bath? Their relaxing night together? Her being there at all?
When he didn’t answer, she said his name again.
“I know.” Jack rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “I can’t.”
“Are you sick?” She lifted her hand to test his forehead, but he rolled away. “What’s going on?”
Finally, he flipped over so she could see his face. His pupils were blown, his eyes wide like a deer in headlights. His cheeks were drawn and colorless and his jaw was tense enough to be painful.
Haleigh had seen this look before. That night junior year in high school when she’d had to get her parents because Jack was sitting outside their front door in the rain, unable to sleep until he was sure she was safe. And that day in Hawaii, as she’d sat there helpless, watching him spiral.
But Haleigh wasn’t either of those girls anymore.
This didn’t have to be like those days. The two of them had grown enough to know how to move in tandem together, to be strong when the other was weak. To stand when the other fell.
She sat up. “Talk to me.”
“I can’t do it.”
“Do what?” She rested her hand, palm up, next to his. Her heart calmed a little when he took it.
“Go in there.” He scrubbed at his face with his free hand. His eyes were glassy, and his jaw trembled a little. “I was lying here all night, running over and over in my head what my boss said yesterday and it just felt…” He exhaled loudly. “Pointless. How am I supposed to come back from this?”
“It’s one mistake. You’re allowed to make mistakes.” She spoke those words as firmly as she could. She needed to drill them into his head and his heart. He didn’t have to win all the time. He didn’t have to be perfect. No one was.
“He thinks I’m an awful manager. They’re going to fire me. I’m going to lose this house.” Just from his face, Haleigh could tell he was letting this train of thought take hold of him. He turned toward his nightstand and brushed away imaginary dust with his hand. Once, twice, three times. Then again, once, twice, three times.
Haleigh stood up, and rounding the bed, pulled him up with her.
“I know it feels like that’s what he said, but I was there. And it’s not. He could have chosen his wording better”—Haleigh would like to give that man a lesson in constructive criticism—“but he wasn’t saying you’re awful. Or that you were going to lose your job. That’s your brain lying to you.”
“But now I didn’t call in. I’ve made it worse.” His face looked stricken.
“That’s fixable. It’s all fixable,” she insisted. It’s like they’d switched spots from after her job interview. This time Haleigh wasn’t the one in the spiral. She was the one trying to stop it.
“How?” His tone was pleading. Like he was begging her to pull him out. Set him on solid ground.
Haleigh found a smile for him. “We plan.”
Over the next half hour, Haleigh was able to convince Jack to shower and eat something. Then they sat at the dining room table with his laptop.
First, they wrote a list of everything he was going to do. He’d start by emailing his boss about missing today and setting up a meeting to talk about the issue with Dylan.
Then Jack was going to look at his schedule and find some time to take off. Not to avoid work, like he had been lately, but to get some real rest.
Finally, he had to stop telling everyone he was fine when he wasn’t. Starting with his therapist.
She edited a manuscript as he composed his emails. Then she read them over and suggested changes. Clasped his hand as he hit Send.
It was a start. He’d done enough damage control to reassure himself that he wasn’t getting fired.
They moved to the couch, and Haleigh cradled his head in her lap as he drifted off to sleep. Smoothing his curls back behind his ears, she watched some of the tension slip from his face.
Today could have been a disaster. They could have been a disaster. But instead they’d worked through it together. Side by side. A team.
It was the final reassurance that Haleigh needed.
“Jack,” she whispered.
“Hmmmm?”
“Want to be my plus-one?”
A sleepy smile found his face. “Absolutely.”