Chapter Eighteen
Dallas, TX
Mia
S hortly after leaving Kami and heading home, I send Jake a text. I don’t know what he’ll think when he reads that I want to talk. But it’s done.
His quick agreement is a surprise. I’m nervous but relieved. All I can do now is sit on the couch and wait.
Ten minutes later, I’m still waiting. I play a game or two on my phone, but nothing helps with my rising anxiety. Each second that passes feels like an eternity. What will he say? What does he want to tell me?
What happens after that?
Good question.
Depending on what we talk about and how well it goes, maybe I should be open and honest about some things, too. But if all he plans to do is laugh at me again, I’m not interested.
What if all his words end up being empty platitudes about what a good kid sister and friend I am? What if he’s not willing to risk his friendship with my older brother and intends to set me down gently? Happily ever after is only in movies and books, right?
No matter what happens, I should prepare myself. A part of me would rather hide from the impending heartbreak. Hide from my feelings.
Before I can decide what to do, I hear a knock at my door. Is that Jake? No. He has keys. Maybe he lost them? Then how would he have gotten home?
Just in case my visitor is an axe murderer, I talk through the locked door. “Who is it?”
“Mia? It’s Vance.”
Of all the people who could’ve knocked on my door, he’s the last person I’d expected. Slowly, I open the door. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He smiles. “I’m sorry to just drop by. Trust me, I would have let you know I was coming if it wasn’t an emergency.”
Seeing Vance at my place is already unusual, but the fact that he’s carrying a suitcase is even more strange.
“Going somewhere?”
“I am…which is what I want to talk to you about.”
His timing sucks, but if it’s an emergency… “Come on in.”
“Thanks,” he wedges through the doorway and scans my unit. “You’ve got a nice place.”
“Thanks.” I lead him into the kitchen. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Got a bottle of water?”
“Sure.” I grab one from the fridge and guide Vance to the living room.
“How did you know where I live?”
“I called Josie. She’s out of town, but she gave me your address.”
“Where did she go?” I ask, handing him the bottle.
“Somewhere in the Midwest on a business trip.” He sets his bag down and accepts the water. “Thanks.”
“No problem. What can I do to help?”
“My grandfather has been sick for some time, and last night I got a call that he’s taken a turn. My family isn’t sure how much longer he’ll last. So I booked the first flight to Tucson I could get. I took an Uber here, but I wanted to talk to you before I left.”
“I’m so sorry about your grandfather. Were you planning to take another Uber to the airport?”
“Yeah.”
I shake my head. “Don’t waste your money. I’ll take you myself. We can talk on the way. What terminal are you leaving from?”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I insist. You’re going through a lot, and you’ve helped me. Let me help you.” I grab my keys and purse, then put on my shoes.
Besides, I have no idea how long before Jake shows up. The airport isn’t far. I’ll be there and back before anyone misses me.
“Thank you. You’re the best.” Vance pulls me in for a hug.
“Anything you need.” I hug him back as he kisses my forehead.
Suddenly, a door slams. “Anything, huh?”
At the sound of the unexpected intrusion, I whirl to find Jake glaring at Vance, who still has his arms around me. I can only call his expression a snarl.
Oh, he’s pissed.
I pull away, wincing. I was so focused on my conversation with Vance that I didn’t realize Jake had come home.
“Hey, Jake.” I try to smooth things over. “You remember Vance, right?”
“Hey, man.” Vance extends his hand.
Jake refuses to take it.
Silence falls. It’s tense and awkward. I don’t know who Jake is more pissed off with, Vance or me.
What’s his problem?
I clear my throat to break the ice. “I’m taking Vance to the airport.”
“The airport?” Though he hides it well, I hear the bite of sarcasm in his tone.
“Yeah.” Vance lets out an awkward laugh. “I told her she didn’t have to, but she insisted. Isn’t she so sweet?” He smiles at me, his gaze full of longing.
What is he doing?
“Can’t you get an Uber?”
“I told her I would, but that’s Mia.” Vance squeezes my shoulders and tucks me against his body. “I stopped by to spend some time with my girl before I have to leave, and she volunteered.”
I try not to grimace. Vance doesn’t know that I don’t need him to play the swooning boyfriend anymore. And Jake is reacting to Vance’s act like someone waving a red cape over bull’s face.
I have a feeling this is going to end badly.
Tearing his death glare from Vance, Jake focuses on me again. His expression shifts to one that’s softer, almost sad. “Are you leaving, then?”
“I’ll be back as soon as I drop him off.” I try to grab Jake’s hand in reassurance.
He pulls away. “Just go.”
In the snap of a finger, his demeanor turns icy.
My throat tightens and dries up. My heart races. I feel myself panicking. How do I fix this? What should I do? What did I do to deserve his cold shoulder? My first instinct is to cry. Yet my anger swells, swallowing up my sadness.
I’ll deal with him later.
For now, I turn to Vance, who grabs his things. “Let’s go.” As I open the door, I turn back to Jake. “We’ll talk when I get back.”
He doesn’t respond, just stares, shaking his head, as I walk out the door.
“Wow, that was intense,” Vance says as I drive down the highway.
The tears in my eyes blur my vision. My grip on the steering wheel tightens. From the moment I drove out of view of the complex, I’ve been trying hard to hold onto my emotions.
From the corner of my eye, I see Vance look at me with worry. “You okay? You look like you want to murder somebody. Did I do something to offend you?”
I shake my head. “No. You did nothing wrong. It’s all me. I should never have let myself hope.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just when I was beginning to wonder if Jake felt the same way about me, he changes his mind.” I held back my feelings for years, never thinking he’d want to know. And now it’s too late. He’s moved on. I didn’t move fast enough.
“What are you talking about?”
“Isn’t it obvious? He treated me like I was dead to him.”
What did I do to make Jake that angry? It’s not like he cares about me that way. He even laughed last night. But just now, he almost acted…jealous.
Ugh. Forget it. I’m too frustrated and pissed off to figure it out now. His words and the disdain on his face… They’re stuck in my brain, playing on an infinite, torturous loop.
No reason. No explanation. And once again, love has taken me in the wrong direction.
How am I supposed to fall in love if love itself keeps taking me down the wrong path? I was right when I went to college. Maybe I was better off staying in the UK. It would have been safer; I wouldn’t have had my heart broken all over again.
And this time, it hurts so much more.
“If loving Jake means he can just change his mind about me like that”—I snap—“for whatever reason, at any time, I’m better off alone.” I wish I could turn off this pain inside me. Since I can’t, I’ll settle for hoping I never find myself in this situation—getting my heart broken—again.
“Mia, that’s not true. Jake is crazy about you.”
I gape at Vance. “You’re not blind. You saw what happened back there. And you still think he’s crazy for me?”
“He is.”
“He’s not. He made that pretty clear.”
Vance pauses. “Why do you think he gave you the cold shoulder?”
“I don’t know. Does he need a reason? Obviously he’s not interested in me anymore. That’s what happens every time a man thinks he wants to pursue me. The minute I get comfortable with them and start to open up, they leave. I should have known Jake was no exception.”
“Mia Knight, that is not true. In fact, hell, it’s the exact opposite.”
“You don’t understand.”
“ You don’t.”
I scoff.
“I’m serious,” he continues. “Jake didn’t give you the cold shoulder because he wasn’t interested anymore. He did it because he was hurt.”
“How?” I question as I weave through traffic. Is Vance insinuating that Jake was, in fact, jealous?
My natural instinct is to go into repair mode. To figure out how to either fix the situation or fix myself so he’ll stay. But if Jake is going to bail over a misunderstanding—when he didn’t even ask what’s up between me and Vance—is trying to patch up everything between us even worth it? The man I’ve had a crush on for years doesn’t want me, period.
“He saw us together and jumped to conclusions.”
“If you knew that, then why did you antagonize him?”
“I wanted to see if he’d fight me for you, maybe confess his feelings. Clearly, I overestimated the situation.”
“Don’t blame yourself. I was wrong about him, too.”
“You weren’t. I may have laid the act on too thick, but I’m not wrong about his feelings for you. Given his reaction to us hugging, I think he might be dealing with fears and insecurities of his own. In fact, I’m willing to bet this isn’t his first time he’s felt rejected.”
“By me? Why would he feel rejected? How can you tell?”
“Takes one to know one.” He pauses. “He probably felt rejected because someone he cared about, more than likely someone he loved, chose someone else over him.”
Maybe that’s why Jake is the way he is.
Like me, he probably doesn’t want to get hurt again.
The conversation ceases when I pull up to Vance’s terminal. The Dallas-Fort Worth Airport is crowded today with families saying goodbye, with men and women dressed in business attire hustling inside.
“Do you need help with your luggage?” I offer.
“No worries. I got it.” He pulls his suitcase from my trunk, then pokes his head out through the open passenger-side. “Do me a favor while I’m gone?”
“Of course.”
“Don’t give up on him. And stop giving in to your fears and insecurities. Go home. Be with him. See what happens next.”
“What makes you think he’s still there?”
“Like I said, takes one to know one. I guarantee he’s still in the same spot, debating whether to pack up and leave or wait for you to come back. He’s wrestling with himself just as much as you are. Don’t give up on this chance, Mia. Or you will regret it for the rest of your life.”