16. Chapter 16
Chapter sixteen
-Bryce-
O ne second I was floundering at being an absolute idiot and exposing the lie I had told Kitari earlier. And the next, a split-second after I realized my mistake, he was grabbing me and rushing me into a small space between two rocks. He slammed me against the damp wall, and I let out a rush of breath.
I had been so thrown by all this talk of mating, alphas, and body odor, that when he’d mentioned Clay, I grabbed onto it like a life raft in a sea of uncertainty. Clay was the mission. The mission was solid. Something I knew and could understand.
I instinctively fought back, but he was built of pure, solid muscle.
“Stop,” he hissed into my face, pressing his hand over my mouth. He leaned his full weight against me, then stopped moving. I was pinned in such a way that I couldn’t do more than grab at his shoulders.
“Quiet,” he hissed again, raised his fingers to his lips, and looked back over his shoulder. He wasn’t moving at all. Aside from holding me in place, he wasn’t trying to hurt me.
I stopped pushing against him and went still as understanding dawned. It was happening again, wasn’t it? I thought he was attacking me for my obvious lie, but he was saving me yet again.
Over the rush of breath through my nose, I could just make out a scratch scratch noise, something sharp scraping against stone. The sound was coming from behind Kitari in the cave somewhere, and it was getting louder. My forehead creased and I met Kitari’s eyes, which were staring into mine with an unspoken warning. Something was out there. Something bad.
The sound of scratching got closer and closer. I couldn’t see around Kitari, but from the stiff way Kitari held his body, it must be bad.
Whatever it was prowled past our hiding spot, close enough to hear and for me to smell its pungent scent of musty dampness and rotting meat. I caught a glimpse of something dark, a shadow shifting across the ground just on the edge of my sight. The smell was overpowering, making my eyes water and my stomach turn.
Kitari pressed his finger against his lips again, even though his hand was still over my mouth, drawing my attention to them. They were parted slightly. I suddenly became aware of the heat of his body against me, the solid press of his muscles, the width of his shoulders shielding me from whatever was out there. With each breath through my nose, I took in his scent, and I tried to concentrate on that instead of the stink of the creature. He smelled great, a heady mix of earth, sweat, and spice.
I shifted against him, feeling the way my body slid against his, and my head swam again, the dizziness from earlier returning. Was this the pheromone sickness he was talking about?
Kitari’s eyes swiveled down to meet mine. He lowered his hand carefully, slipping it down from my lips so it rested against my collarbone. I gulped. Warmth flooded me and blood rushed to my groin. With his eyes boring into me and his body pressed to mine, I almost lost track of what was happening.
He was undeniably hot. And strong.
My dick started to fill, and I shifted again, relishing the heady feeling of being pinned in place.
It was only when he spoke that I realized the sound and smell of the creature had gone.
“I think we are safe,” he breathed as his body relaxed, softening against me. His warm breath brushed against my lips.
“Ok,” I whispered. But neither of us moved. Instead, we stayed pressed close together, heat radiating between us. “Should we…?”
“We should stay. To…make sure it has gone,” he said stiffly.
“Good idea.”
His eyes fell to my mouth as I spoke, and I wet my lips. My head swam. He moved his jaw, letting out a low noise that dripped with hunger. My body responded to the sound without consulting my brain, and I tilted my head back, slowly, baring my throat. He lowered his head and pressed his face into the space below my jaw, nuzzling and breathing deeply. His lips brushed against my throat, sending sparks down the length of my body. I closed my eyes and let out a groan as my dick hardened.
Suddenly, he was gone. I opened my eyes to find him stepping away from me, holding his hands up in a way that indicated he wasn’t going to touch me again.
“I am sorry.” He seemed upset and turned away from me.
I sagged as if my strings had been cut, suddenly feeling cold. I hunched over to hide my semi, pulling at the tight neck of my suit.
“What was that creature?” I asked.
He turned back to me, all hunger in his eyes gone, replaced with frustration and confusion. “You thought I was attacking you?”
“What?”
“You fought me, you thought I was attacking you.”
“No,” I said automatically. “Well…maybe at first. You startled me when you grabbed me.”
“And Clay? You know him? You said you thought the planet was not inhabited. Did you lie?”
“No, I…I didn’t know if I could trust you.”
“Are all humans this distrusting?” He moved further away from me, seeming genuinely hurt. “If I meant you harm, I would not have saved you from being squeeshed . Twice.”
I got the impression he hadn’t fully understood the word ‘squished,’ but now wasn’t really the time to correct him.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know anything about you or your people. And the information we do have isn’t exactly complimentary,” I said defensively. My intel told of a violent, reclusive, and brainwashing race. It seemed like the picture that had been painted for us wasn’t wholly accurate. For all the Aldar, or just Kitari, I didn’t know.
I wouldn’t be a very good marine if I just trusted any old alien because they looked hot. Got a rippling six-pack? Guess it’s time to throw my weapon down. Being on my guard was the right thing to do. So why did I feel so bad?
I had always hated the idea of anyone being mad at me. If they were mad, they might not want me around anymore. Which was why I always had to be useful, to ingratiate myself and be everyone’s friend. I formed attachments way too easily, ever since I was a kid back in the group home, only to be left again.
And now I was doing the same with Kitari. Maybe it was a survival thing. I needed his help to get out of here, so that meant I needed him to like me.
“Sorry,” I repeated. “For all I know, you could have saved me from that creature so you could eat me yourself.” The attempt at humor fell flat and only made him narrow his eyes at me further. His face twisted in disgust.
“Eat you? What kind of—” he broke off. “So you do not trust me. And that is why you lied about why you are here.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t lie,” I said. Not completely, anyway , I added to myself. I really was here to explore, that was a huge part of the job for me. “But it wasn’t the whole truth.”
“So why are you here?”
“We have orders,” I said.
“Orders to do with Clay?”
I grimaced. Was it treason if I gave classified information to the enemy? I was pretty sure it was. When I remained quiet, he glowered.
“I see. Since you cannot trust a dangerous creature like me, let me make it clear for you. I do not want to eat you,” he said. He seemed irritated and…disappointed? I felt the overwhelming urge to make it up to him. I wanted him to like me. Badly.
“Sorry—”
“I do not wish to kill or hurt you in any way, and I will not attack you. Is that understandable?”
“Yes, it is—”
“Then we should continue, before the kapion comes back. Their territories are small, and they remain in them. I assume you still require my help.” He started to walk and then shot me a look over his shoulder. “If you trust me not to eat you, that is.”
***
Great, my alien rescuer-slash-captor was mad at me. Walking in silence, I had no idea what to say to him. Sorry I assumed you were going to kill me when you were trying to save my life again? Sorry I keep overreacting to things even though I’m trained to remain level-headed in all situations?
I was a trained soldier, damn it, but my stomach dropped every time I looked up at his wide shoulders swaying in front of me.
I turned my mind to more practical things, i.e., what I was going to do when we got out of these caves. Obviously, I needed to get back to base camp somehow, but with my leg like this, it didn’t seem possible to get away from Kitari.
Maybe if I went with him, I could just talk with the Aldar and convince them to give Clay back. The idea would have sounded insane yesterday, but if Kitari was any indication of what the rest of his people were like, they might actually be reasonable. And that would avoid any hostilities, because if it came to a fight and the rest of the Aldar were like him, we were going to lose.
I found myself missing the conversation we had before and his easy-going, halting voice. Now Kitari had a closed-off look and stared straight ahead.
I did the best I could with my stiff leg, but it was hard going. He only stopped to help me when I was having trouble getting over a big rock or slope of loose stones. And every time it made my skin tingle and my head spin. I felt weak, and I hated feeling weak. As we walked with only the sound of our feet and dripping water, my thoughts spiraled.
Was Kitari getting irritated at me constantly needing help? I’d already offended him. I started to avoid touching him, opting instead to struggle over the rocks myself and smile politely as I turned down his offered hand. After a short while, he stopped offering.
What felt like days later, we reached a flat area that wasn’t damp, a soft layer of luminous moss carpeting the ground. My boots sank into it. I was absolutely exhausted. Everything was catching up to me, the running, the pain, the walking, the panic attack.
Kitari came to a stop and looked around the area. “The creature’s scent has gone. Do you want to stop?”
After walking for so long in silence, his voice sounded too loud and deep.
“What for?” I asked.
“You need to rest.”
“No, I’m fine, I can keep going.”
My whole body was aching, and my head throbbed. My legs screamed to melt into the squishy moss. Before the accident I wouldn’t have needed to stop, but ever since then I’ve had to push myself; determined not to be the one to weigh others down.
Kitari gave me a slow look up and down. I tried to shift my posture into something resembling energy and life, rather than the aching mass of muscles that I was.
“I’m not tired,” I said.
“Fine,” he said. “Then I would like to stop.”
“You would?”
“I am tired.”
“If you want to stop, I don’t mind,” I said.
He nodded once, and I practically faceplanted onto the moss. As I sank down onto the ground, I thought I saw a slight curve at the edge of his lips. Had he just used reverse psychology on me to spare my stupid ego? I groaned inwardly. Was I really that easy to read?
As my body melted into the moss, Kitari stayed on his feet.
“I will find us some food,” he said and set off into the shadows of the cave.
Obviously not that tired then. I barely moved while he was away, just staring up at the ceiling, wondering if he was going to come back at all. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t.
But he did return a short while later, with a collection of the same pale, sickly green and brown vegetation as last time.
“Where do you find these?” I asked, taking a mouthful of the salty plant as my stomach gurgled.
He squatted down on his haunches a short distance away and took a mouthful with a flash of sharp, white teeth. “They grow in damp corners, if you know where to look you will find them.”
Without him, I’d definitely have starved, or been eaten, or lost. I took another munch.
“Maybe you could show me,” I said.
He tilted his head at me.
“I do trust you,” I said.
He looked over at me, but didn’t say anything, his strong jaw working on the tough plants.
I looked down at the greens in my own hands. “I’ve just been jumpy recently. Something bad happened and I…am not quite the same. But I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”
I sounded insane saying that to someone from an unknown race that I’d only heard bad things about, that I’d just met. But, somehow, I believed it wholeheartedly. He wouldn’t hurt me. I felt it in my bones.
He regarded me with lidded eyes for a moment longer before he looked down.
“What happened?” he asked.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek and fiddled with the leaves. “I made a stupid mistake. And it cost me.” I lifted my stiff prosthetic leg slightly and let it fall back down onto the moss with a weak laugh, trying to mask the tension in my voice.
Kitari didn’t laugh, though. His face remained serious, and he studied me with eyes that were too sharp and intelligent. I looked away. I felt like he could see right through my skin, like he was looking inside me and studying my thoughts.
“But I have this leg now, so, no worries. It’s better than my old one, when it’s working properly.”
He didn’t speak and we ate in silence. Afterwards, he found water and we both had a drink.
“We will rest here. You get some sleep, I will keep watch.”
“I’m ok,” I said. But I was damn exhausted, and sleep was already making my limbs heavy. I lay down in the soft moss and closed my eyes.
Before long, I started to shiver. My suit was armored, but the plasteel was for protection, not warmth. I glanced over at where Kitari was sitting with his back to me, looking out at the expanse of the cave. He was wearing a lot less than me, but he didn’t seem to be affected by the cold.
“It’s damn cold,” I said.
“Yes,” he said, bluntly.
So, he was still offended. I shut my mouth and rolled over, wrapping my arms around myself, and tried to go to sleep, shivering. The cold from the ground seeped up into my bones. I pressed my jaw together to stop my teeth from chattering.
There was a rustle of movement behind me, and I was about to open my eyes again when the solid warmth of Kitari pressed against my back. I froze as Kitari wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in close to him, spooning me from behind.