35. Chapter 35
Chapter thirty-five
-Bryce-
C ould it really be that easy? My head was telling me that no, it couldn’t, of course it couldn’t. But my heart was saying why the hell not ?
“Ok,” I said before I could think about it too much. This was probably a terrible idea, one of the least thought-out decisions I’d ever made. All I knew was that, somehow, against all reason, this was what I had always been looking for. This right here was what I’d always wanted, without knowing it. And now that I’d found it, I couldn’t let it go.
This time, I managed to get my shirt all the way off. In furious desperation, I freed my arms, flung it away, and started to pull my undershirt up. Kitari joined in and tugged it up over my head, stretching his body against mine. His chest was hard and warm. He took the bundled-up vest, pressed it to his face, and inhaled deeply, appreciation rumbling in his throat. He was smelling my scent on my clothes like a starving man smelling fresh bread. Jesus, that was hot. I needed him right now.
Only then did it occur to me that we were in the middle of the jungle. “Wait, is it safe here?” I said as I pressed my face into the space where his throat met his chest. He smelled like warm grass and sweat. My mouth watered.
“I do not care,” he growled with animal hunger, so low that his skin vibrated against my lips. “Let any creature try to disturb me.”
His desperation was as wild as mine. He reached down with both hands and fumbled with the buckle on my pants, tearing them open and then yanking them down while I held on to his shoulders. The boots had him stumped though, and I clawed at them. Why did they have to have so many laces? I’d never had an issue with them before but now they seemed impossible to contend with. I cursed whoever designed them. Finally, I got them off, standing on one foot and then the other as Kitari yanked them free and tossed them aside, followed swiftly by my pants and underwear. Now I was fully naked. The breeze played across my skin, a premonition of his touch.
He took me by the waist, his huge hands hot on my skin, and pushed me down onto the ground on my back, and I held my arms out to wrap around his neck and pull him down with me. But he pulled away just far enough to look at me, taking in my naked body with his flaming eyes. I felt pinned down by his gaze, every scar and line completely exposed, grimy from our journey together. And I desperately needed him to like what he saw. I held my breath and waited for his reaction to come.
A deep rumble sounded in his chest.
“Mine.” It was more growl than word.
I shuddered, and my body erupted in goose bumps. “Say that again.”
Kitari grinned a slow, wicked grin, his eyes raking over me again. “Mine.” This time it came out quiet and filled with a heat that made my spine melt.
“Yes,” I said. “Yes.”
He stared at me like he’d never seen anything so beautiful before.
“You are perfect, Bryce Bryce Gunner.”
God, I wanted him to fuck me so bad. My body was crying out for it; to be filled and loved. I was desperate for him, reaching my arms out, but he lowered himself reverentially. Positioning his weight on his elbows, he flattened himself against me, letting every inch of himself connect with every inch of me. I wrapped my arms around his neck. Emotion was welling up in me, threatening to make my eyes water. Kitari buried his face in the hollow of my neck and inhaled deeply, as if I was the air he needed to breathe. He licked up my neck, leaving a trail of fire across my skin, along my jaw, and up to my ear, where he took the fleshy lobe between his lips and nipped at it.
“I want to taste all of you, Bryce. I want to touch every part.”
Oh god. I felt like I was going to come apart already. I ran my hands down his sides, over the hardness of his muscles, breathing in the smell of him and letting it make my head spin in that exhilarating way. Damn, it was such a rush.
As I let my hands trail over him, he kept on pressing his mouth against me, not quite kissing, but like he was desperate to feel me with his lips, his tongue, even his teeth. He grazed them across my skin with a need I had never experienced before, breathing me in. I’d never felt so wanted. I’d let him devour me if he wanted to. He pressed his mouth against the corner of mine, licking at the crease of my lips, then on my cheekbone. He licked across the scar through my eyebrow where the skin was pink and raised. He touched every part of me like it was sacred and new and perfect.
I had to squeeze my eyes shut and steady my breathing, otherwise I’d start crying.
He spoke as he dragged his mouth along my throat and collarbone. “The bond, it will bind our souls together for life. There will be no turning back.”
I couldn’t think of a single thing I wanted more.
“Please,” I said.
“Are you sure?” he breathed against my jaw.
My voice was thready. “Yes, give me your bond. Please give it to me.”
He made another deep noise as his lips found mine, and he kissed me hungrily, so hard it pushed my head down into the mossy ground. It was like he was trying to consume me. Like he wanted me so much he couldn’t hold himself back. It felt astonishing to be so wanted. Sure, I’d had sex before, but it had never felt this vital , like he would die if he couldn’t have me. I gasped at the tidal wave of emotion it sent through my body, and he pulled back.
“I am sorry,” he said breathlessly. “Was that too much? I do not have much experience at this kissing.”
My lips felt bruised. “No. That was perfect.” I tried to keep my voice steady, but it came out breathy and weak.
He hesitated, so I smiled to let him know I was good. So good. I ran my hands over the pale markings on his skin, catching on the metal stud in his nipple, and his breath caught. I dug my fingers into the meaty muscles of his chest, relishing how they tightened.
“You’re amazing,” I murmured.
Hooking an arm around his neck, I pulled him closer again. This time, I attacked him, licking deeply into his mouth, and he made a soft, surprised grunt before diving in himself.
I moved my hips against him, pushing my already throbbing cock up against his navel. Last night, in that dark muddy hole, was the best sexual experience of my life so far, and I could only imagine how much better it would be this time. I needed to find out, now, before these raging emotions swept me away and my body shook itself apart.
His body, so strong and hard, trembled, and he let out the smallest whimper. The sound shot straight through me, making me throb. He sounded almost as needy and desperate as me. This big strong warrior had lost his composure already, because of me .
He jerked back just enough to get his clothes off, his hands trembling and clumsy. His usual cool confidence and ingrained swagger were long gone, replaced with frenzied yearning. His skin was flushed, his eyes blown wide and glazed over. I leaned up on my elbow and helped him with it, snatching at the material draped over him just as eager as him to free his dick.
Finally, his clothes were in a pile on the ground with mine, and I took him in in all his glory. In the dappled light through the trees, he looked perfect, like a daydream come to life. Miles of smooth sculpted flesh, narrowing to a tight waist that led to his groin, where his cock stood erect and dark, covered in the glistening golden fluid. I marveled at it, long, thick, and ribbed. And so, so big. Mouth wateringly big. Earth-shatteringly big.
I didn’t realise I was staring until he laughed, happy at my reaction.
“Do you like what you see?” As if he had to ask.
“Fuck yeah, I do,” I rasped.
He crawled over me and kissed me deeply again. His hand slid down my chest, over my belly, and grazed over my throbbing cock with the lightest touch. I gasped into his mouth and moved my hips to chase his hand, but he was already moving down, sliding his fingers between my thighs and up between my cheeks, nudging his way in. His finger slid up over my asshole and I tensed, then spread my legs further apart. He ran his finger back and forth, grazing the ring of muscle. God, it felt so good.
“Which do you prefer?” he asked, trailing his kisses from my mouth along my jaw.
It took a moment for my spinning head to latch onto his meaning.
“Receiving.” I looked down at his dick where it hung heavy between his thighs, and swallowed. “Oh god. Definitely receiving.”
He smiled against my skin and changed the direction of his finger, tracing teasing rings around my hole.
“And I don’t have any, you know. Problems,” I gasped.
He lapped at the hinge of my jaw, his tongue rasping on my stubble. “Problems?”
I struggled to find the words as my hips circled, following his finger. “I haven’t caught anything off anyone else. From sex.”
“Oh, neither have I. I have not been with anyone.”
“You’ve never had sex before?” With the way he was working me up into a heaving mess with apparently no problem, I found that hard to believe.
He sucked on the flesh of my throat, and I leaned into it. “No, of course not. I had not yet met my mate.”
That explained why he’d lost his composure so quickly, he’d never actually had sex before. That also probably explained why all the alphas seemed to have anger management issues. That was a lot of stress to suppress.
“You seemed to know what you were doing in the burrow,” I gasped.
“I simply did what felt good. And I may have done some research in our archives. My time there was not a complete waste of time.”
Thank God for galactic sex education. “Well, you’re a natural.”
“Thank you. But when it comes to the penetration, I may be lacking in knowledge. I will do my best for you.”
As he spoke, the confidence in his voice fell away, only briefly, but it was enough for me to understand. He was nervous. He’d never done this before, and he wanted to get it right for me. My heart ached for him, and the urge to please him increased tenfold. But this time, it wasn’t to prove myself, it was simply for him. And if there was one thing I excelled at, it was pleasing other people.
I sat up, pushing him back. He looked confused for a moment.
“Was that not good?” he asked.
“It was really good,” I assured him, sliding around him and gently pushing him down with one hand against his chest.
He hesitated, unsure what to do, and then sat back so he was sitting against the tree trunk. I straddled his thighs, leaned forward, and caught his mouth in another deep kiss.
“It’s ok,” I said.
I braced one hand against the tree behind him. He stared up at me in wonder, his eyes huge and dark as I took his dick in my hand and started stroking it. My fingers glided over the thick fluid coating it. His eyes went even wider and rolled upwards, and his hands dug into the ground by his thighs. Now it was my turn to lavish kisses on his face, and I did it with relish as he lolled his head back against the bark in bliss.
His hips started rocking up into my hand in time, elongating every stroke, and he picked up speed, already frantic with lust. Another whimper escaped his lips, short and high-pitched, and I drank it down and licked into his mouth.
When he was shaking and gasping, I pulled away, lowered my head, and licked a long line from the base of his glistening cock to the tip, tasting the fluid, which was as sweet as it looked—like honey and pineapple. This time the noise he made was high-pitched in a way I didn’t think possible for someone as big as him. It made my balls tighten and I licked him again, drawing it out and relishing the way his body tensed and flexed.
“Bryce,” he panted, his voice on the verge of breaking. “I need to release inside you for the bond to take hold. Please. I cannot—” He broke off on another moan. His chest was heavy.
Damn, two licks and he was already ready to go. His loss of control was almost as hot as the noises I was wringing from him. I could have done this for hours, but it looked like he wouldn’t have the stamina. I straightened and readjusted myself over his hips, I kept my grip on his dick though.
“It’s ok,” I said. “You’ll need to prep me.”
I wanted to sink right down on him, but he was so big there was no way I’d be able to and still walk tomorrow. I needed to be ready.
“How?” he panted.
“Give me your hand.”
He held it out, his face trusting and grateful. I guided him to run his hand over himself first, spreading the fluid on his fingers. He bit his lip as he did, shuddering. Then I slid his hand around my hip and down between my cheeks, pressing his fingers where they needed to go.
“Use your fingers to open me up,” I said, swallowing.
He stared at my face as he circled my hole, eyes dark and heavy with arousal, then slid a single finger inside. My breath caught.
“Like this?” he asked.
“Yeah. That’s right.”
I moved on his finger, pushing down to bring it inside myself, closing my eyes lightly at the feeling of being only slightly full, and knowing there was so much more to come.
“Another,” I said.
He positioned another finger, nudging it up next to the base of the first, and I let out a deep breath as I took it inside, easing myself down onto it. When they were both fully inside, I rocked, riding on his hand. Fuck .
Then he curled his fingers inside me, and I made a strangled noise, my eyes snapping open. He paused, watching my face closely. I urged him on with my hips.
“That’s good,” I reassured him. “That’s a good noise, keep doing that.”
His lips parted and he started again, curling his fingers. They were long and clever, and they found the exact spot as if by instinct and stroked it as I moved my hips.
“Right there,” I groaned.
God, it felt so good. I closed my eyes, grinding down onto him, and when I opened my eyes again it was to find him staring at my face, mouth open, lips trembling, pupils so blown they almost showed no yellow at all.
At some point, I’d released his dick and gripped onto his shoulders to steady myself as I rocked. His hips were moving now in small jerks, rubbing his cock against my stomach as if he had no control over it. It collided haphazardly with my own dick. I clenched around his fingers.
“I do not know how much longer I can…withstand,” he said, his eyes pleading.
God, how could I resist him like this. I wanted to give him everything he wanted, everything I had. I couldn’t wait any longer, that would have to do. I was starving for his cock. I pulled off his fingers, which slipped out of me, leaving me unacceptably empty, and repositioned myself over his cock on shaking knees. I paused with the head of it pressed against my hole.
“Ready?” I asked.
He nodded, mute and jerky, eyes still on mine.
I eased down, as slowly as my trembling thighs would let me, and the tip of his cock pressed against my hole. It felt impossibly big, and the prep laughably insufficient. Gradually his cock pressed in, stretching me, the pressure building, until there was a light release and it slipped inside. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the tree, letting out a deep moan as I hovered and allowed myself to adjust. It was so tight, but the burn and the stretch only added fuel to the fire, and my dick throbbed heavily as I panted.
“I need to get used to it, I have to work up to it. Can you stay still for me?”
He nodded again, the lines of his neck and shoulders rigid with unreleased tension. I tried to relax and sank down as far as I could in one go. He squeaked in a breath.
“Ok?” I asked.
His nod was just a jerk of his chin this time, and he wasn’t looking at me anymore, his eyes glazed and focused on something far away. I stopped and eased off again, and repeated, easing down further each time. I had to stop and remind myself to breathe every time, allowing myself to stretch around him. He was so huge it made my head swim, and my fingers dug into his shoulders, probably hard enough to bruise.
Kitari’s hips were trembling with the effort to stay still, and he gripped the tree behind him, nails sinking into the bark as he panted.
“Ah, frernk,” he gasped. “Frernk, Bryce. I cannot— Ah iwe salensel, ah frernk.”
“You’re doing so well, I’m almost there. Just a little longer.”
He closed his eyes and breathed heavily through his nose while I worked my way down. Finally, when I’d taken as much of him as I could, I began rocking gently. He made a strangled groan between his teeth. His dark hair was stuck to the sweat on his neck.
I was so full, my head spun. He was pressed up inside me in every way, taking every inch of space, stretching me impossibly tight. I’d never been so full in my life, and my body started moving on its own, throwing caution to the wind. I was past being careful, taking it slowly.
He hissed, and I leaned forward, pressing our damp foreheads together.
“It’s ok. You can move now,” I panted.
He shifted, his hips jerking upwards in aborted spurts, still trying to keep control of himself. I moved faster, rolling my hips with each downward thrust, riding his cock. It jabbed upwards as I moved down, and hit something deep inside that made me short-circuit. I cried out and my body twitched and then sagged before I caught myself on his shoulders again. It occurred to me that my team was in the area, and at any moment they might stumble upon me writhing on alien cock. But instead of making me worried, the thought was so absurd that it shocked out a barking laugh and I tensed around him.
“ Ah, frernk.”
That was enough to push him over the edge. He lost control and started bucking his hips upwards into me furiously. I gasped as he knocked the air out of me. My knees shook and finally completely gave out beneath me, and I fell forward onto him, my face buried in the side of his neck.
He let go of the tree and gripped my hips, his fingers digging in hard enough to bruise, but I didn’t care. I wanted him to squeeze harder, push deeper.
“Neniya selador,” he panted against my shoulder, mouthing at my skin, dragging his teeth against me.
I spread my legs to let him in further. I needed to take everything he had to give. “Oh. Fuck , Kitari.”
I gripped onto his hair, tangling my fingers into his dark silky locks, and arched my back, angling myself, seeking out that perfect spot. His cock slammed into it like a prostate-seeking missile. I shouted. Stars exploded before my eyes. He bit down on my shoulder.
“ Neniya selador. You are perfect. You are my soul.”
The tears that I’d managed to subdue earlier rose with a vengeance. I didn’t try to fight them this time, I didn’t have the bandwidth. I was lost in the pure churning fog of bliss and his hands and his cock and his mouth. A strangled sound formed at the base of my throat, and I choked it out against his neck. He let go of my hip and snaked his hand between our bellies. He gripped my throbbing cock hard and pumped in time with his thrusts. I pushed into his hand, impaling myself on his cock with each movement, riding the waves of pleasure that crashed through me. My movements got faster and faster as I hissed in breath through clenched teeth. Every muscle in my body jumped and twitched as I panted against his shoulder. I wanted to groan and beg and tell him to go harder, but I couldn’t make a noise past a strangled wet and breathy whine.
He was babbling in Aldarian, the rolling words fervent as a prayer. I sobbed into his neck, tasting the salt of his sweat and my tears.
He thrust into me at a fierce pace, our bodies moving together, faster and faster. The pleasure pooled, tightening deep inside me.
I stiffened and came hard. My mouth fell open in a silent scream as my hot cum coated our stomachs, spreading between our bodies as we continued to slide against each other.
Waves of pleasure surged through me, smashing into me, and I clenched hard around Kitari.
“Frernk!”
His hips jackhammered, losing their rhythm as he stiffened, arched, and with a strangled snarl, came. His cock throbbed inside me, still spamming against my prostate and milking more cum out of me.
Warmth ignited inside me, hardly noticeable at first with the mind-blowing orgasm tearing through me. Then it grew, brighter and fiercer, and more pleasure poured into me. It coiled and tightened in my chest, and in the pink haze of bliss, I think I might have orgasmed again. It felt like some seismic change was happening inside me. The tectonic plates of my life were shifting and breaking apart, and in their place, something new was forming. There was more pleasure than my body could possibly contain, I felt like I was going to explode with it or pass out. But it kept on growing, impossibly, until the warmth spread through my entire body and bloomed out around me. Was this it? Was this the bond?
I managed to open my eyes. Beneath me, Kitari’s eyes were rolled back in his head, his mouth hanging open. His face was flushed with pure ecstasy as his body rolled with pleasure. It was a sight I’d never forget.
Finally, gradually, the impossible bliss edged away, and my muscles stopped clenching and turned to jelly. I flopped forward at the same moment that Kitari went limp. He buried his face in my neck and breathed heavily, his arms falling away from my hips onto the ground.
I tilted my chin and caught Kitari’s lips in a heavy, messy kiss full of hot breath. The thing in my chest fizzed like a live wire, sparking feelings I’d never felt so strongly before. Possessiveness, the urge to protect, and sheer wonder.
We broke apart and our eyes met. Kitari put his hand on his chest, in the same spot where my fizzing was. Could he feel it too?
“You are happy,” he said, still breathing heavily.
I nodded in disbelief.
He smiled, and fierce joy seeped through me. Bright and bubbling.
I put my hand to my own chest. “I can feel you,” I said in wonder.
“We are bound. Our souls are entwined.”
I knew it was coming. I’d wanted it with everything in me, to be connected to Kitari in the deepest way possible. But this…this was something else.
Now I understood. This was why Clay had fought his crew members to get back. This was why he wanted to stay.
Emotion welled in me, and I had to swallow around the tightness in my throat as more tears spilled down my face. He reached up and gently wiped them with his thumb as water gathered in his own eyes.
For the first time in my life, I felt truly connected.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I was home.