36. Chapter 36
Chapter thirty-six
~Kitari~
M y soul was complete.
It was nothing like I thought it would be, nothing like I had heard it described. It was so much more. I thought I understood what it meant to have a ‘soul bond’, but I had not. Finally, I understood what it meant.
As we stared into each other’s eyes, I could feel the connection flowing between us like the breeze on my skin, or the ground beneath me. It was a solid, living thing that wrapped around the both of us, creating one whole soul in two bodies. I could feel him inside me, just as I could see him in front of me.
Perhaps it was the process of forming the bond, or perhaps it was the planet-shattering climax, but I was more tired than I had ever been in my life. I wanted to curl around him and sleep for a season, just enjoying his closeness. But my mate needed somewhere safe to rest.
My mate.
Bryce was my mate, and we would spend the rest of our lives together.
I gathered our clothing, threw Bryce over my shoulder and scaled the closest tree. He laughed as I climbed and told me to put him down, his joy filling me like a warm tide.
I joined in his laughter as I climbed into the boughs where the branches were thick and covered with a soft layer of growth. Here the tree split, creating a bowl wide and flat enough for us to comfortably lie down. I carefully set Bryce back on his feet.
“I can climb on my own, you know.”
“I am aware.”
Here, we would be out of the way of most prowling predators, as well as the other humans. We lay down and I wrapped myself around him. His warmth seeped into me, and I rested my face on the top of his head, inhaling his scent. So sweet. So delicious. And entirely him.
We were bound now, and I could not be happier. We would deal with my father and my people when the time came, but at this moment, I did not care. We could stay in this tree forever and I would be just as happy. I had always longed for something more, for something bigger than the small life that had been laid out and planned for me. And now I had found it, I had found Bryce.
“This is so weird,” he said quietly.
“It is.”
As he drifted off to sleep, I felt him fade until the bond became fuzzy and unclear. I pulled away slightly and looked down at his face, studying every mark, every hair. I kissed the dark scar that ran through his eyebrow. The brown fleck on the side of his cheek. His fair eyelashes. The stubble that lined his jaw. He was dirty and his hair was ruffled—the last time he had bathed was when we jumped into the river to escape the caves, and I hardly thought that counted—and perfect in every way.
I resettled behind him, closed my eyes, and hummed with content.
***
I must have drifted off to sleep, because the next thing I knew, I was jolted awake. Fear and dread rippled through me in devastating waves, and I scrambled to my knees, searching for the danger that threatened to strike. But I could not see any.
A deep groan by my side drew my attention to Bryce. He was still asleep, but his face was stricken, twisted into a mask of fear. Then I realized; it was Bryce’s fear that had awoken me. He was in the throes of some kind of nightmare.
He threw out his arm, slamming it against the branch, and rolled, making a pained whimpering noise.
If he kept thrashing like that, he would fall. I grabbed his arms. His eyes popped open, wide and wild with fear. They rolled in his head as if he couldn’t focus on anything. A wild, panicked animal.
I took all of the panic and fear that boiled within him, accepting it deep inside myself, and wrapped it in a feeling of calm, attempting to soothe him through the bond. I did not know how, but I did it instinctively, like shifting my muscles to move a limb or breathe.
“Bryce, you are safe, you are here with me,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm as his fear swirled inside me. It kept coming and I took as much of it as I could, relieving him of the burden.
His eyes settled on me and seemed to find my face. He slumped and the dream passed.
“I’m so sorry,” he panted. His voice was hoarse with emotion.
I expected the fear to ease now that the nightmare was gone, but it did not. It continued to spill through our bond in a flood, and I attempted to soothe it yet again.
“Why are you still afraid?” I asked.
At my words, his fear increased further still, catching my breath in my chest. Is this how he felt every night? How could he have survived this alone? My omega was even stronger than I had thought.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I can learn to keep it to myself.”
I blinked at him. “Why?”
“You don’t want this.” He clutched his head and the swirling torrent inside. His voice took on a pleading tone. “I’m sorry. I can learn to hold it in, I promise.”
Guilt mixed with the fear now, deep and sickening. Finally, I understood. He was no longer afraid of his nightmare but of my reaction. My shock must have registered with him, because he met my eyes. I took his shoulders and held them tight.
“Bryce, you are my mate now. I want to share everything with you, even your pain. If you think it will scare me away or make me change my mind about you, you are very much mistaken. I am here now, and we will face it together.”
He gazed at me, the moonlight illuminating his damp cheeks, and finally, gradually, the roaring waves of his fear receded. He rubbed his hand against his chest as if it ached inside.
“You really mean that,” he said. His voice was still hoarse, but this time with a different emotion.
How many times had he been lied to—let down and abandoned—to be so shocked by my conviction?
“Of course I do,” I said.
I wrapped my arms around him again and laid us back down, pressing my lips against his head.
“Now go back to sleep,” I murmured.
“I don’t think I can,” he said.
“I will help you.”
I held him tight, swathing him in calmness, and, gradually, he fell back asleep.
***
I stayed awake until the sky turned a crisp pink, fading to purple. For the rest of the night, I had fended off the nightmares when they came for him, accepting and taking his pain in waves until calm returned. He did not wake again.
Finally, he stirred, and the fuzzy bond came into focus.
“That was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in…well, since the accident,” he murmured. “Thank you.”
I smiled against his hair. “And I will do it every night that you need me to.”
He turned in my arms, coming to lay down facing me.
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Then don’t. I will do it anyway.”
He gazed at me for some time, and I could feel his appreciation and confusion. I did not know why he thought himself unworthy of the effort, but I would have to make my opinion of that obvious to him in time. Finally, he shifted again, growing troubled.
“What do we do now?” he asked. “We can’t live up a tree forever.”
The idea was extremely attractive to me. “I do not see why not.” I leaned in and ran my lips along his jaw. I enjoyed the feel of his short hairs, which had grown. I wondered how long they would get. “I can hunt and bring you food. We can bathe in the river. And I can give you pleasure any time I please.”
That sparked a flash of arousal in him. He smiled but shook his head. “My team is still out there. I need to tell them the truth before anyone else gets hurt.”
I sighed. There was that damned logic again. “You are right, I suppose.”
“And I guess I should tell them I won’t be going back with them too.” His voice was casual, but there was still a shadow of apprehension as he said it. Was he still unsure if I wanted to keep him? I could not understand why he thought himself so unworthy, so disposable.
“Yes, you should, because I am never letting you leave my side again,” I growled.
He smiled and warmth bloomed between us. In that moment, it became my life’s mission to always make him know how wanted he truly was. I would protect him forever.
“And once we’ve done that, I guess we’ll have to go and face your father.”
I grimaced.
The prospect of living in the jungle and fighting beasts for the rest of my life suddenly seemed very appealing indeed.