37. Chapter 37
Chapter thirty-seven
-Bryce-
W e walked through the jungle again, only this time, I knew I wasn’t leaving. I was staying right here, with Kitari. But how would I explain that to my team in a way they would understand?
Was this a terrible idea? Probably, but it was too late to start wondering about that now. I had come here to rescue Clay, and now I was doing exactly the same thing as him. Was my team going to think I’d been brainwashed too, just like Clay’s crew thought he had been? Was I going to make all of this worse?
I stopped walking. I’d been too wrapped up in Kitari to think about how my team would react.
But I couldn’t just say nothing . If I disappeared into the ether it’d be even worse, they’d think I’d been killed. There had to be a way I could do this, to convince them everything was fine, and get them to leave.
To leave. My stomach panged. That had been the plan since I saw Clay, but at the time, I had been going to leave with them. Suddenly, it really sank in. In the best-case scenario, they would leave, and I would stay here. The closest thing to family I had ever had, and I might not ever see them again.
But the alternative, going with them, leaving Kitari, made me feel physically sick. I couldn’t go back to that life; hopping from place to place, searching for something I could never find.
“Are you alright?” Kitari asked, concern radiating from him.
“Yeah, I just…this is so big. I’m not sure how to…” I took a deep breath. “I don’t think I can face them. My team. I don’t want to abandon them, but I can’t go back.”
Not to mention the fact that if any of them saw Kitari he might be in danger. The thought of him getting hurt was enough to resolve my mind. I couldn’t face them. I’d have to use the comm, explain at a safe distance, make them see the truth, explain that I wasn’t going to come back, and hope that was enough.
I didn’t know if it would work, but in these circumstances, it was the best I could do.
“But how will you speak to them?”
“I can use the comm.”
He frowned, and I realized I had never told him about it. It had been sitting around my neck and in my ear the entire time, but there was nothing that would indicate it was a way to communicate rather than jewellery.
I touched it. “This, I can talk to my team through it.”
“I thought it was decorative.” He touched his own neck, where the gold hung.
“No, it’s a communication device.”
“And you have been wearing it all of this time? But I have never seen you using it.”
I grimaced. “Yeah, I—” I considered lying, but was there any point if we were bound through our souls? “I didn’t think it was a good idea for you to know at the time.”
He raised his eyebrow. “I see.”
“You were kind of the enemy. At least, that’s what we thought.”
I expected him to become irritated with me, angry that I had lied to him. Betrayed, in some way. But he just snorted and rolled his eyes.
“Well, contact them so we can continue with our lives.”
I turned it on and tuned in, searching through the static until I found the right channel.
“This is Gunner, does anyone read me?”
The line fuzzed and O’Neill’s voice responded almost instantly. “Gunner! You went offline again. Where have you been?”
“Around,” I said.
“You really need to stop going AWOL, man. Where are you? Are you almost back at base camp?”
I drew in a deep breath and glanced at Kitari. He had backed up to allow me to talk, leaning against a tree, but was watching me with steady eyes.
“I need to tell you something, O’Neill. It’s going to sound crazy, but you have to listen to what I’m saying because it’s the truth. Ok?”
“Er, ok, you’re sounding a bit weird.”
“I’m not coming back to base camp.”
I could practically hear the deep frown in his voice. “What?”
“I’m not coming back, so you need to tell the others to go without me.”
“Are you hurt?”
I could hear other voices in the background, coming through the line.
“No, it’s not that. I’m not hurt or anything, but I’m not leaving. I’m staying here.”
“What do you mean staying here? Why?”
I pushed on, aware of how crazy this was going to sound. Kitari was an anchor of calm next to me. “I went to their settlement and spoke to Clay. He doesn’t need to be rescued, he’s here because he wants to be. He wasn’t kidnapped, he decided to stay. So the mission is over, ok? There’s absolutely no reason for us to be here, and you guys can all leave.”
“Without you?”
“Yes.”
He stuttered. “Bryce, we’re not going to just leave without you, this is insane. What’s happened? Why are you saying this?”
“I promise, I’m fine. I really like it here and the Aldar aren’t at all like we think they are. So I’m going to stay here. You guys have to go, and you have to leave Clay as well.”
There was a long silence. A voice in the background said something and O’Neill replied, “It’s Gunner, he says he’s not coming back.”
There was a muffled curse and then a moment later Clyde’s voice came on the line.
“What the hell are you talking about, kid? No word from you all this time, and now this? Where have you been? O’Neill told me you were alive, but he’s been tight as a clam about the rest.”
Clyde was sensible, maybe I could explain it to him.
“Hey, old man. There’s been a misunderstanding, Clay doesn’t need rescuing, the mission is void, and you have to go.”
“The hell? Have you banged your head or something? How do you know that?”
It looked like Chief really had kept my assignment secret.
“I spoke to him—”
“You what?”
Another fizz, another voice on the line. “What the fuck is going on? Gunner? Was no one going to tell me this bastard was still alive?” Rand said.
“Chief told me not to tell anyone,” O’Neill said.
“The fuck?” Rand said. “I’ve been fucking mourning—”
“Something’s happened, hasn’t it, Gunner? One of you tell us what’s going on,” Clyde said.
“I don’t know, I was just ordered not to—” O’Neill started.
“Guys—” I said.
I clenched my hands. This was so much harder than I thought it would be. These guys were my family, and I’d already caused them so much stress. And now trying to convince them to abandon me was so against my nature it was like peeling off my own skin. And to make it worse, I could feel Kitari’s concern radiating from him.
“Just listen, I spoke to Clay. It’s not what we think. You have to—”
Movement caught my eye. I looked up to see a creature, sleek and black, emerge from between the trees on my left. At the same moment, a sour smell, like rotting flesh, reached my nose.
Before I could react, Kitari shouted. The creature leaped.
I took a staggering step back. The creature slammed into my chest, claws sinking into my skin. I was knocked to the ground, the creature on top weighing me down. A sharp pain radiated in my side, and I turned my head to see a barb on its tail retracting from where it had struck me. Coldness flushed my body from the point of the sting.
The next moment, Kitari grabbed the creature’s neck with both hands. He roared as he heaved it off me, lifting it bodily as it twisted in his grasp. I heard them struggle as I rolled over and pushed myself onto my hands and knees. Apart from the claw punctures and the tiny stab wound in my side, it hadn’t got me too bad. But when I tried to get to my feet, my head spun, and I ended up falling to my knees again.
I heard snarling, but I didn’t know which one of them it was, Kitari or the animal. They were on the ground, both with their teeth bared. Kitari got his hands around the creature’s head as it tried to go for his throat. He gave a mighty twist and snapped the animal’s neck. It went limp. Kitari flung it off him and scrambled to his feet, and I relaxed.
“Are you alright?” I asked.
Instead of answering, he ran over to me and searched my body. His fear caught my breath.
“I’m ok,” I said, as he tugged at my top, pulling it up.
His eyes widened, and his mouth twisted with terror.
“No,” he said, his voice unsteady. “No, no, no, no.”
I looked down. There was only the smallest puncture mark on my skin, and the pain was already starting to fade. I’d had far worse. It looked like it had only nicked me. “It’s ok, I’m just winded.”
He rubbed over the spot where the barb had gone in like he could wipe it away. It was tiny, only a drop of blood came out. Kitari’s hands were shaking, his terror a sickening swirl around us.
“No, Bryce,” he said.
I tried to still his hands. “I’m alright, it’s just a scratch.”
Voices through the comm yammered in my ear, making it hard for me to hear Kitari.
“What’s happening?”
“Bryce, can you hear me?”
“Where are you?”
I groaned as I tried to get to my feet again, but my legs felt numb.
“Guys, I’m fine. Just go, ok?”
Kitari was spiraling. Panic and terror sucking at my insides.
“It doesn’t hurt,” I said. “It’s fine.”
“No, no it is not,” he said.
I sat back down again. My head was spinning, making it hard to understand what was going on. I pulled the earpiece out. “What?”
“The venom,” Kitari said.
“Venom?”
“No, no, no, no.” Kitari was patting me down, grabbing my shoulders, pressing his hands to my stomach.
“Oh,” I said, finally understanding as my arms went numb. I’d been stung and poisoned. “How deadly is it?” I asked dumbly.
But Kitari didn’t answer, he didn’t have to, it was coming loud and clear through the bond.
Very deadly.
I was going to die.
“Oh,” I said again.
It wasn’t fair. I’d only just found my home. I didn’t want to go.
“No, you will be fine,” Kitari said, starting to get a grip on the terror that paralyzed him. “We have the cure. You will be ok. We just need to get back to Amalya.”
The numbness was everywhere now, and with it, a strange, cold calmness. I knew we were too far away. He would have to carry me, and we’d never get there in time.
I gazed up at him, at his beautiful, strange face, his amber eyes, his expressive mouth.
At least I had found what I was looking for before I died. Not everyone did. I was one of the lucky few.
“It’s ok,” I said.
My meaning must have come through the bond, because for a moment there was a pain so great it made me gasp, and then a wall came down. His face blanked and his terror was replaced with a sudden, cold determination.
“No,” he said with finality. “I will not allow this to happen.”
The frantic beehive of his mind cleared to an arrow point. He stood and strode into the bushes, returning with a handful of things.
“What are you doing?” The spot of the sting had started to burn, replacing the numbness. Low at first, but rising to a heat that made me grit my teeth.
His eyes were hard as he stuffed a handful of plants in his mouth and chewed, then spat them back out and squeezed them into a disc.
“You are not leaving me already.”
He held it over the wound, pulled one of the sashes from his waist, and wrapped it around my torso to keep it in place. It cooled the area immediately, and the burning receded to a dull throb. The noise I made was something I’d be surprised to hear outside the bedroom.
“That will keep the pain at bay.” He swept me up into his arms. My limbs flopped and my neck felt loose. “And you will hold on,” he said with ferocity. “I have only just found you, Bryce. You are my mate. I do not give you permission to die.”
“Yes, sir,” I said. My tongue felt thick, and my words came out slurred.
There was a bang, a whistle, and a flash in the air. Something smacked into the trunk behind Kitari’s head, showering us with splinters. He ducked, almost dropping me.
“Put him down, you purple motherfucker.”
A black-clad figure stepped through the trees, blaster trained on us. More stepped out on either side. I blinked sweat out of my eyes and tried to focus on them.
It was my team.
Kitari crouched with me held to his chest. He moved as if to run, and another blast erupted the ground by his feet, showering us with soil.
“Don’t move.”
It sounded like Rand. My head spun. What was he doing here?
“What have you done to him?” another said with Clyde’s voice.
Kitari snarled. “I must take him—”
“Put him down. Now!”
“Wait,” I said, or tried to say. I didn’t know if the word made it past my numb lips.
Kitari’s growl vibrated through my head. “You do not understand, he will die—”
“Now!”
Kitari moved again. He was speaking, everyone was shouting.
There was a short, sharp zap noise. Kitari fell to his knees.
I tumbled to the ground.
Pain and fear through the bond.
I tried to shout.
“No. Stop.”
“Get him up,” someone else shouted.
Hands on my arms, under the bend of my knees. My head flopped back. The world tipped end-over-end.
“What have you done to him, you fucker?”
Hands on my body.
“What is this?”
The soothing coolness left my side, and then I was burning. Someone screamed. Was it me?
“Do not take it off.”
Kitari’s voice, strained and hoarse.
Spinning sky and leaves.
And pain, fear, rage, pain.
His or mine or both.
And nothing.