Chapter Sixteen
Charlene narrowed her eyes on Maddie, who in return narrowed her eyes on her.
“Don’t think I don’t know you disappeared with the Duke of Rotheworth last night,” her friend said. “And for ages at that.”
Charlene scoffed and broke eye contact first, turning her attention back to her orchid.
Last night had been… well, she couldn’t quite explain.
It had been magical in the sort of way that had been freeing.
Like at long last, shackles had unclasped and fallen from her ankles.
But she didn’t know how to explain that to her friends.
It’s not that they wouldn’t understand if she tried; it’s just that she didn’t understand what it meant either.
At least for the future.
She was attracted to Adam. No secret there.
She fell deeper with every encounter. No secret there either.
But he was a Cross. Most certainly not a secret.
And while he kissed her at the fireworks and kissed her back yesterday, it still wasn’t clear what he wanted.
Wasn’t it?
Urgh. That little voice! But she’d almost been engaged to his brother. Yes, there, she finally allowed the thought to surface. Engaged. While that didn’t mean they couldn’t kiss and whatnot, his brother was still the one who hurt her.
How to navigate that tempest?
She didn’t know. The only thing she did know was that his brother left England and stayed away. For which she was thankful. She didn’t know what she would do if he ever returned. She would never have reconnected with Adam if he had. And speaking of that, Adam had left, too.
What if he left again?
And while some part of her rational mind knew he wouldn’t just leave again, it was time to admit there was a small fear in her heart that he would. Perhaps not leave England, but what about leaving her for Miss Martin? Or someone else? Leaving, after all, didn’t have to be physical.
On the other hand, since his return, he’d seen her. Listened. Touched her like she wasn’t some broken-hearted person but someone worth holding onto. Worth kissing under fireworks, worth holding a conversation with under the stars, worth dashing through a garden.
It made her want things. Things, things. Adam things.
Like another moment with him.
And then another.
And then another.
And never stop another’s. Did that even make sense?
Her heart certainly thought so. As did her head.
Her brother would certainly not, however.
He had no time for a Cross, which was why she’d been thankful he hadn’t trailed after her to events.
Also, then there was Mr. Henry Grafton staying with them.
He hadn’t escorted her either. It seemed those two were neck deep in business transactions. That suited her just fine.
Charlene loved her brother, but she didn’t need him breathing down her collar and fighting her on her choices. She needed to discover her heart on her own, even if it broke again.
“What are you thinking about?” Maddie asked, breaking through her musings.
Charlene blinked. “Orchids.”
Maddie snorted. “Right, and I’m an orchid. Or should I say Rotheworth is an orchid. Just admit it, you enjoy his company, so enjoy it. Lord knows, rare poisonous plants are easier to come by than love.”
“Maddie!”
Her friend raised her hands. “What? It’s true.”
“Ashley and Sera found love. It’s not that hard.” She didn’t mention herself. There was nothing easy between her and Adam. Except kissing, maybe. And talking. And laughing. Nothing else.
“Given they are the minority, I don’t quite agree.”
Charlene shook her head, a reluctant smile tugging at her lips. She couldn’t argue against that logic. “You aren’t wrong.”
“Naturally.” Maddie picked at a leaf.
“Don’t you have anything better to do than pick my life apart?”
“Sad to say, your life is the most thrilling thing in mine.”
“That is sad.”
“Well, you know what is sadder, the Earl of Carry proposing to a pillar.”
Charlene’s eyes widened. “When was this?”
“When you were out and about with your duke.”
Oh.
“You missed quite the spectacle,” her friend added. “The man was so in his cups, but he looked at that pillar… well,” she waved her hand, “like your duke looks at you.”
“And how is that?”
“Like he’s already halfway in love.”
Charlene stilled, the words lodging somewhere between her heart and her throat. Halfway in love. It sounded impossible. Dangerous. Exhilarating. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “Only halfway?”
Maddie shrugged. “Well, I haven’t seen you together all that much. You keep disappearing with him.”
True enough.
“I might be a bit halfway, too.”
That earned her another snort. “I might not have seen you with him much, but I have seen you. You are smitten. More than halfway. In fact, any more, and the way might lead you to Bedlam.”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
Maddie laughed. “Whatever way it is, half-way or full-way, hold onto it. Before some Miss Marteen throws herself more fully in his path.”
“Miss Martin,” Charlene muttered.
“Exactly.”
Charlene couldn’t help but chuckle at that.
“I don’t think I have to worry about her.
” However, that did play straight into her worry.
It might not be this Miss Martin, but there might come another.
But then, something inside her scoffed harder than her little fears.
Way louder. Because Adam wasn’t like that.
He would never do that.
Not unless she pushed him away. She let him go. And so far, she hadn’t been able to. She didn’t think she would ever be capable of pushing him away.
“Do you think I’m foolish?” she asked her friend. “To want something more with him even though, you know, he’s a Cross?”
Maddie looked her squarely in the eye. “I think you’d be foolish not to, even though he’s a Cross.”
Charlene stared down at the orchid, brushing a petal with her fingertip.
Then perhaps… just perhaps… she could be brave enough to find out what more might look like.
*
Adam rolled his eyes. Inwardly, of course, but for what must be the hundredth time.
Can a man not enjoy his luncheon without being badgered, for saint’s sake?
Neither his mother nor Miss Martin had given him any space to breathe since he returned from the ball last night.
In fact, there were only two places in this whole damn house safe, and that was his study and bedchamber.
The former being questionable and the latter being the safest. But he couldn’t stay in his chamber every minute of every day, could he?
And his mother refused to send Miss Martin away.
The woman had a nest of bees in her bonnet when it came to this matter.
What made matters even more flinch-worthy was that he couldn’t get Charlene and her kiss from his mind, which wasn’t the flinch-worthy part.
That was Miss Martin popping into view whenever he stepped from his study or chamber, ruining his thoughts with her coy smile and seemingly innocent gaze.
There was nothing innocent about it. The woman was as calculating as his mother.
And they were most certainly in cahoots.
“You seem to be good friends with the lady of last night,” Miss Martin said. “Lady Charlene, was it?”
More than good. “Yes.”
“Still, Adam,” his mother said. “That was rather rude to leave Miss Martin to fend for herself at her first ball in London.”
“But I didn’t leave her alone, now did I, Mother? I left her with you.”
Both women huffed but said nothing further on the matter. But he wasn’t fool enough to think this was the end of it.
“Adam,” his mother began.
He was right.
He set his fork down, losing his appetite, and bracing himself for what was to come next.
“I do love Lady Charlene, you know this, but she was engaged to your brother. You must know how inappropriate it is to spend time with her.”
He knew nothing of the sort. “They didn’t marry.”
“It’s still not the point. She’s your brother’s ex-fiancée. How do you think he would feel if he returned to find you cavorting with her?”
Adam leveled a steely gaze at the duchess. “Take care with your choice of words, Mother.”
And to hell with David.
His mother didn’t know the damn truth. A decision he’d made not to tell her that might not have been the wisest, but he couldn’t do anything about it now. She might not believe him, or she might, but she’d be hurt, and he didn’t want to hurt his mother, no matter her antics with Miss Martin.
“Well,” the chit piped up. “Let us not speak of that which will sour the mood, shall we?”
Adam cursed. Inwardly. His relationship with Charlene was not souring, and he wanted to point it out, but one look at the two women and he decided against it. Defending their relationship might only move them to more drastic calculations.
He’d rather avoid that.
At all cost.
But that didn’t help with the matter of them now shadowing his every damn step.
“I hear there is a balloon ascension in a few days,” Miss Martin added. “It’s said to be a promising event.”
Balloon ascension? Adam said nothing.
They would have to outright—
“Shall we go to the balloon festival?” Miss Martin’s question came.
“That’s a great idea,” his mother chimed. “Right, Adam?”
“I can think of nothing worse.” Unless Charlene was there, then he could think of nothing better.
Miss Martin pouted. He pretended not to notice. Then she gave a small sigh, the sort of sigh that carried too much meaning and not enough moderation. “I do love balloons,” she murmured. “So very… much.”
The emphasis on the last word alone made his eye twitch. Don’t lose your cool, Adam. Patience always wins. What he would like very much was the image of Miss Martin being whisked into the sky on one of those balloons and carried over the ocean.
He swallowed and reached for his coffee, only to find the cup empty.
Bloody perfect.
His mother leaned forward with a smile that raised the hairs on the back of his neck. “A little air and company would do you and Miss Martin good.”
“I have air,” he bit out. “Plenty of it. What I lack is silence.”
Miss Martin tittered. “Oh, you are funny, Adam. Please escort, please?”
Two pleases?
“And besides,” his mother added, clearly undeterred by his darkening expression, “it would be an excellent opportunity for Miss Martin to enjoy more of London Society. Connections are crucial.”
So was a man’s sanity.
“I can’t,” he said. “I have a business meeting that evening.”
His mother arched a brow. “A business meeting?”
His mind raced. “A business dinner, to be exact.” With Charlene. Perhaps a balloon view? Talking about the business of… them.
Yes.
That sounded like just what he needed.
“Surely you can postpone that?”
Not in this life. In fact, he now needed to plan. A romantic night with Charlene. When was this balloon festival again? Where would be the best spot to watch the balloons from? He needed to get a man on that.
“I believe I cannot. This is too much of an important appointment.” In the making.
He pushed back from the table, the chair scraping against the wooden floor. “If you’ll excuse me, I still have matters to attend to.”
Without waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and strode from the room.
He had barely reached the staircase when the pitter patter of slippers behind him alerted him to a little unshakable pest. He picked up the pace knowing she wouldn’t be able to catch up with his strides, and since she would never enter his chamber, he made straight for it.
If he could, he’d scale the walls.
How had it become that he couldn’t even relax in his own home?
He needed Charlene. Or a drink. Preferably both.