Chapter 5 Groomzilla VS Roostra
GROOMZILLA VS ROOSTRA
CHRIS
The rain held off just long enough for the reception to get started and our guests to be safely tucked into the new barn, which Ciara Treenut Picklesbottom—or whatever her name was—had decorated with the same flowers from the ceremony, along with white fabric and strings of lights.
It really did look beautiful for a place where animals would poop next week.
Trixie and I looked good out on the dance floor while we swayed to “You Belong With Me.” Our song. The one I’d played a thousand times when we were teenagers, listening to the lyrics and thinking about her. Now here we were, finally dancing to it as husband and wife.
Then Trixie danced with her dad while I watched from our table, my heart so full it hurt. When their song ended, Jules appeared at my side and held out her hand.
“Come on, big brother. Mom would’ve wanted you to dance.”
So we did. Jules and I swayed to “I Hope You Dance” while my baby sister pretended she wasn’t crying and I pretended I wasn’t either. It wasn’t a mother-son dance, but it was something just as special.
The food was served, delicious vegan options for Trixie and more protein-heavy options to feed the growing football players. I looked down at the new ring on my finger and over at my wife, who was doing her happy food dance as she ate her mushroom wellington.
I felt foolish for worrying so much about the small details. My dad was right, the only thing that mattered today was that we were together. Everything else would just be a story to tell our kids.
Then the time for speeches came.
Lulu stood up first, looking gorgeous in her maid of honor dress, and tapped her glass until the room quieted down.
“For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Lulu, and I’ve been Trixie’s best friend since kindergarten.” She grinned at Trixie. “That’s almost twenty-five years of friendship, which means I have enough embarrassing stories to keep this speech going all night.”
“Please don’t,” Trixie called out, and the crowd laughed.
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep it PG. Mostly.” Lulu winked.
“Trixie and I became best friends when she yelled at a girl who stole my yellow crayon. She didn’t even know me yet.
She just saw someone being a jerk and decided to do something about it.
That’s who Trixie is. She’s fierce and loyal and will absolutely fight someone over a crayon if she thinks it’s the right thing to do. ”
More laughter rippled through the room.
“We’ve been through everything together.
Middle school drama, high school heartbreak, college disasters, including one very ill-advised lip plumping device that shall not be discussed further.
” She shot a look at Trixie, who buried her face in her hands.
“But through all of it, the one constant in Trixie’s life, besides me, obviously, was Chris Kingman. ”
Lulu turned to look at me.
“I’ve watched these two circle each other for almost two decades. A billion years of ‘we’re just friends’ and ‘it’s not like that’ and ‘he doesn’t see me that way.’ I’m pretty sure everyone in this room knew they were meant to be together before they figured it out themselves.”
“Accurate,” Everett called out.
“So, Chris.” Lulu’s expression turned serious. “You finally got the girl. Don’t screw it up. Because if you ever make her cry anything but happy tears—I will end you. And I say that with love.”
“Noted,” I said, holding up my hands in surrender.
“To Trixie and Chris.” Lulu raised her glass. “May your love story be as epic as the eleventy-hundred years it took to start.”
Everyone drank, and Lulu handed the mic to Hayes.
Hayes was definitely the shyest of all of us.
He hated doing press after games and was never one to seek the spotlight.
He wasn’t starring in underwear ad campaigns like Everett or swanky car commercials like me, and he wasn’t dating the world’s biggest pop star and being hunted by paparazzi like Declan.
My baby brother was happiest on family nights, going on adventures with Willa, or curled up with a book. So him getting up in front of all these people meant a lot to me.
And of course, because it was Hayes, he was prepared with note cards.
“I was three years old when Trixie moved into the house next door,” he began. “I can’t remember a time without her there. She’s always been an honorary Kingman.”
He glanced down at his cards, then back up at the crowd.
“One of my first memories of Trixie is her baking Christmas cookies with us, right by my mom’s side.
She helped Chris take the training wheels off my bike.
She lent me her copies of the Magic Tree House books and talked about each one with me, instilling in me a love of fantasy and sci-fi that I still have to this day. ”
Hayes smiled, and I looked over at Trixie. Her eyes were filled with tears as she listened with rapt attention.
“We all always knew that Trixie was the one and only girl for Chris. So when he finally fessed up about his feelings last summer, you can be damn sure the Kingmans were prepared to help him do anything to win the girl.”
A few cheers went up from my brothers.
“I might be his best man today, but Chris is one of the best men I’ve ever known every day. It can’t have been easy to be the ringleader of this group of menaces, but he’s always been the best eldest brother you could hope for.”
Hayes paused, his voice thickening. I swallowed hard, and Trix squeezed my hand under the table.
“I always felt like I could come to my big brother with anything, and he would have the answers. And if he didn’t, he would help me find them.
He could have been a jerk with no time for us little kids, but instead he was always there for us, never rushing us along.
Time with Chris was special because he focused on you and made you feel like you were important.
For me, the sixth of seven brothers and one spectacular sister, he always made me feel seen when it could have been easy for me to feel lost in the shuffle. ”
Ah, shit. Why did my little brother have to make me get all teary-eyed? I was going to kick his ass later. After I finished hugging him.
“When Chris made it to the pros and catapulted himself into stardom, winning a Big Bowl in his first season as a starting quarterback, it would have been easy for him to ride off into the sunset. Instead, he stayed close to home and made sure he took all of us along with him.”
Hayes swallowed hard and looked down at his cards for a moment before continuing.
“After we lost our mother...” He paused, his voice cracking slightly. “After we lost our mom, dad held us together and built us into a strong family that could withstand anything. Chris has made us even stronger. He’s the most generous person I know.”
He looked directly at me.
“Like everything with the Kingmans, we turned who would get to stand up here with him today into a competition, and I’m so honored that it was me who was chosen to be here by his side.
I love you, brother. All of us do. You too, Trixie.
I know today is the best day of your lives, but I think I speak for myself and all of my siblings when I say that getting to see the two of you happy together at last..
. it’s also one of the best days of ours. ”
He raised his glass.
“To Trixie and Chris.”
The crowd held up their glasses, and I looked around at my siblings. Every single one of them was crying as much as I was. I didn’t think it was possible to feel this much love in one room.
I stood up, grabbed my little brother, and buried my face in his neck. “Love you, Hazey,” I whispered.
“Love you too, big bro,” he said, holding onto me for a long moment while we both got our shit together.
Afterward, I took the mic from him, my face still damp and cheeks flushed.
“Well, okay then. Hi, everybody.”
A wave of laughter rippled through the guests.
“I just wanted to thank everyone for coming today. Trixie and I are honored that you’re all here to celebrate us. I know some of you may be wondering why we chose to have our wedding here and why we asked for donations instead of wedding gifts to support The Gentle Barnyard.”
I looked over at Trixie, and she slipped her hand into mine.
“My girl, my wife, the love of my life has always had a soft spot for animals. She’s been volunteering here for years and has taken me along with her many times, swearing that shoveling manure was for my football muscles.”
More laughter filled the room.
“But supporting this organization has given me a chance to honor the two most important women in my life.” I took a breath.
“When planning this wedding, there’s been one person who’s been missing from all of this.
Trixie and I wanted to announce that this building we’re in now will be known as the April Kingman Welcome Center, to honor my mother, who should be here with us tonight. ”
The room went quiet. I could see my dad in the front row, his jaw tight with emotion.
“Your gifts will continue to support the rescue and the animals my wife loves, and remember my wonderful mother, who we all miss dearly. She would have been the first person on the dance floor tonight, so I want to see you all out there for her. Thank you.”
I sat down, and Trixie pulled me into her arms and gave me a kiss. I looked over and connected eyes with Dad. He smiled and tapped his chest twice over his heart.
The rain kept up as the sun went down, and everyone took my orders seriously. Most of my teammates were out there tearing it up on the dance floor. My siblings were making fools of themselves, as was to be expected.
Isak had his tie fashioned around his head like a headband and was making sure to ask every single lady in attendance for a whirl around the floor.
Flynn held his new girlfriend Tempest close and swayed to the beat, while Gryff and his girl Artie moved like they had no joints.
.. or rhythm. It was painful to watch, but you couldn’t look away.
Someone had even thought it was a good idea to let Luke out of his rolling prison and onto the dance floor, where he was boogieing along with most of the Mustangs’ O-line.
I made eye contact with Trixie, who was chatting with an aunt who had come in from out of town, and winked. Just a few more hours and I’d have her all to myself. I couldn’t wait.
Suddenly there was a loud crash as one of the more exuberant dancers accidentally bumped into a member of the waitstaff who was clearing a tray of glasses, causing it to topple to the floor.
The noise scared Luke, who made a run for it straight off the dance floor and out the barn doors and into the rain.
“Luke, no,” Trixie called, and she ran after him into the night.
And I ran after her.
Outside, Luke made a break for it like a chicken with its head still on, and Trixie tried to follow him, but the yard around the barn had turned into a swamp. She reached out to grab him and ended up slipping in the mud, landing on her stomach.
I got to her as quickly as I could, but when I tried to stop, I quickly found out that dress shoes and mud just don’t mix. I ended up in a heap next to her in the muck.
We both sat up, looked at each other, and burst into laughter. My beautiful bride was absolutely covered in filth. Rain was pouring down her glasses and I wasn’t sure she could even see me. I suddenly regretted choosing a white tuxedo jacket, as it made everything so much worse.
Luke, the asshole, had the nerve to stand there and look at us like we were crazy.
I helped her up out of the dirt, snagged Luke and tucked him under my arm, and we made our way back to the covered porch of the Welcome Center, where Ciara and my family were waiting.
Ciara took one look at us and shook her head, but with a smile. She lifted a walkie-talkie to her mouth and said, “Wes, initiate backup protocol Dirty Birdies.”
My father looked at us, then at the chicken, then told Isak to get the chicken back home.
Luke’s glare was filled with betrayal as he was returned to his stroller and prepared to go home.
“Well, it’s not like we didn’t plan for this,” Ciara said.
“You planned for us to end up covered in mud at our wedding?” Trixie asked, looking at me.
“I, um, might have asked Rose Vond to make us backup copies of our wedding outfits in case there were any accidents.”
For a moment I thought she was going to scold me for being so ridiculous, but she just smiled and said, “That’s my husband.”
Whoa. Instant boner. With my whole family looking at me.
Think about the damn chicken. Think about the god damn chicken.
“Wes will meet you with some towels over by the luxury toilet trailers on the east side so you two can get cleaned up,” Ciara said. “I’ll let security know to tell everyone they’re temporarily out of service.”
“Luxury toilet trailers,” I repeated with satisfaction. “Yes, they are.”
Ciara grinned and patted my arm. “Hop to it. You two have a cake to cut. Mud or no mud, this wedding is staying on schedule.”
“I think she can’t wait to be rid of me,” I said to Trixie as we headed out. The monogrammed umbrellas sure came in handy.
“I think she’s just very serious about her job,” Trixie replied. “Besides, she isn’t really getting rid of us. We’ll be seeing her again in July for Kelsey and Declan’s wedding in Aspen.”
“True.”
Wes met us at the trailer as promised with fresh towels and garment bags, and we got to work.
This was not exactly how I’d pictured taking my wife out of her wedding dress tonight, but we managed to get off our dirty clothes and into the dry-cleaning bags she had provided.
We soaked some of the towels in warm water and, almost like magic, managed to get all the dirt off our skin and dry off.
“Well, I think my hair is a lost cause, but at least I don’t have dirt in any more of my crevices.”
I looked over and found her staring in the mirror, poking at her curls, which were now breaking free from her updo. She was wearing only a white corset and white lace underwear.
“Hand me my dress, will you?”
“Let’s not be hasty.” I stepped up behind her and kissed her neck. My hard cock had nowhere to hide in my boxer briefs, and she ground her ass back against me, teasing me, wanting me as much as I wanted her.
“Chris, there are two hundred people waiting for us to cut a vegan coconut cream cake right now,” she sighed, leaning back against me even more.
“Well, it’s not like they can cut it without us.”
“I suppose you have a point.”
The cake cutting started fifteen... or twenty, okay, thirty minutes late.