Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
E sme
“Hey, Esme.”
I turned my head from the sound of the voice. My favorite waitress Jenny stood with her arms folded in my office doorway. “What’s up?”
“I ran into Mr. Fox on my way in.”
“Which one?” I asked, grinning.
“Shephard. I keep forgetting there are three of them. They need to do us a favor and two of them change their names.”
“I agree with you.”
“Anyway, Shephard wanted me to let you know Hunter won’t be in for a couple days.”
I was completely taken aback by hearing the news. “Why?”
Jenny shrugged. “I dunno, and Mr. Fox was in a real hurry. He had his coat with him.”
“Hmmm… Okay. Thanks for telling me.”
“Sure thing. I thought you in particular would want to know.” She had a huge and very sly twinkle in her eyes.
I tossed my pen at her. She ducked. “Very funny.”
“And very true. You guys look great together.”
My look told her in no uncertain terms to back off. She threw up her hands as if surrendering. “I’m leaving.”
“Good!” I lost my smile as soon as she left. It wasn’t like Hunter to take any time off. I couldn’t remember a single day since I’d arrived. We had the same work ethic. No, it wasn’t healthy, but I had a feeling it kept his mind off his past like doing so did for me. So why take the time out of the blue?
After I’d opened up to him unexpectedly, he’d carried our wine and the bottle into his living room. When I hadn’t followed, he’d retraced his steps, carrying me into the room and positioning me on the couch with my feet up. After that, he’d pulled off my tennis shoes and rubbed my feet. It had been the sweetest gesture I’d had from anyone in years.
We’d talked and I’d explained the perpetrator had gone to prison for life. No, I wasn’t fearful he’d get out and track me down. He was in a maximum-security prison where escapes didn’t happen. And he had no chance for parole.
That didn’t mean the horrible experience hadn’t broken me just a little bit inside. At least Hunter seemed to understand why I needed, not just wanted, to learn to shoot and why I’d been so frightened at the thought of a possible intruder.
I’d worked hard to move on, but the dreams had always taken a toll. He’d understood, offering comforting words. There’d been no silly bantering, no arguments. He’d insisted I’d stay, holding me in his arms on the couch. The intimacy of that alone had been enough for both of us. And I’d felt so close to him. He’d insisted he program in my phone number since I had his, encouraging me to call him if and when I had another nightmare.
Who did that?
Certainly not a rough and tumble guy with a filthy mouth. Just thinking about him made me throb between my legs. The man could make me horny in a split second.
Yes, I’d left predawn, but with a very early shift, I needed to grab a shower and fresh clothes. Surely he would understand that.
I sat back in my chair, trying to figure out where he might have gone. Right now, I couldn’t take the time to find out. Besides, he’d given me moral support. My instinct told me that’s what he needed right now.
And time.
After a quick glance at my watch, I groaned. It was time to get to work. Maybe I’d hear from him in a couple of hours.
A girl could hope.
It was a little after two in the afternoon. I’d been at the resort since six. I was exhausted after having not slept and grumpier than normal. I’d even barked at Jenny when she hadn’t deserved it. I knew why I was grouchier than normal.
Hunter hadn’t returned my call.
There was no way I could believe he was purposely ignoring me. For all the horrible things I’d said to him, I hadn’t meant any of them. They’d simply been spouted off to continue talking to him. Poking fun was a mechanism I’d learned worked well since I was more like a wallflower around men.
I took off my chef’s coat, grabbing my regular jacket and keys. Maybe I’d drop by his house. Was that being too forward?
After talking with my sous chef, I headed toward the lobby. As soon as I noticed Jagger coming in through the front doors, I waited until he got closer before heading toward him.
“Hey, Esme.” Jagger looked as exhausted as I felt, dark circles under his eyes.
“Have you talked with Hunter?”
“No.” He said the single word with some discord in his tone.
“He took a couple days off. That’s not like him.”
“A hell of a lot isn’t like him lately.” He snorted and I tried to read his face.
“What does that mean?”
He slowly shook his head. “I’m not trying to be rude, Esme. Not at all. You’re a fantastic chef and honestly, I could see a change in Hunter when he was around you. But it’s short lived. He’s going to crush your spirit and I’d hate to see that happen. I don’t want to lose you as an employee.”
Everything about what he said and how he said the words seemed wrong. “I don’t understand. Is something going on I don’t know about?”
“I guess so, since he’s decided to check out.”
Before I knew it, I’d grabbed his jacket. “What do you mean check out?”
His smile wasn’t nearly as comforting as I suspected he thought. “Not like that. I just mean from living life fully. He’s been through a lot, not that I know the exact details. He won’t talk to anyone. He won’t open up. I was kind of hoping he would with you.”
Now I felt guilty for unloading on him. “He’s been a little busy caring about me.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that.” He laughed. “Not that you might be having tough times. Foot in mouth.”
“Not at all. I guess he just needs time.”
“He needs to see a shrink. He isn’t permitted to talk about what happened while serving his country twice unless it’s with someone with medical credentials. And he’s not going to do that.”
“Well, I’ll encourage him.”
“Just know he’s a hardheaded son of a bitch.”
“That I can handle,” I told him, practicing my fake smile. “Maybe the dinner for your dad will perk him up and remind him what’s important.”
“Yeah, well, I think the dinner might need to be postponed if not cancelled.”
“Why?”
Jagger’s sigh was full of angst. “Dad was admitted to the hospital last night. That’s where I just came from. He had trouble breathing and the doctors feared he had a mild heart attack on top of everything else. He’s stable, but I don’t know how long that will last.”
“Oh, Jagger. I’m so sorry.” While Hunter had been allowing me to cry on his shoulder, his father was lying in a hospital bed possibly dying. No wonder he didn’t want to talk to me today.
“Dad’s a fighter, but cancer is a bitch who knows no master.”
“You’re right. Maybe I’ll drop by Hunter’s house.”
“He’s not there, Esme. When he needs time alone, he tends to disappear.”
“Any idea where he might have gone?”
He thought about what I was asking and smirked. “Maybe. There’s a place he’s talked about several times. If he’s not there, I honestly don’t know. Just be careful if you find him. He’s even more broken than Shephard and I were and probably still are. But you’re good for him.”
Good for him.
I was beginning to think we were good for each other. I only hoped for the right reasons.
Clouds threatened to overtake the brighter sun. I’d heard a snowstorm was rolling in, but given the recent beautiful weather, I hadn’t believed the forecasters. Now I wasn’t so certain. There was an eerie feeling in the air, as if danger was approaching.
With Hunter refusing to talk about the fact his personal stalker was here in town, I’d developed the creepy crawlies. Every shadow caught my eye. Every loud noise forced me to jump.
It was ridiculous to live life that way.
Here I was, trying to locate a needle in a haystack.
I’d yet to venture out but so much around Danger Falls. While the town itself was small, tiny in comparison to Baltimore, the surrounding parkway and mountains had trails and rivers crisscrossing the state. Everywhere I turned, there was another beautiful sight to see. I’d been told there were hidden gems every few miles, waterfalls with crystal clear lakes, areas where the rock climbing was second only to the spectacular views.
Even in February when the leaves were mostly off the trees, the thick pines allowed for continuous greenery. And the snowcapped mountains were a sight to behold. However, my lack of knowledge about the area made finding the exact spot Jagger had mentioned the closest thing to impossible I’d experienced.
I’d driven down the same road four times, twice each way. I was about to give up when a glint of sun coming through the trees caught my periphery of vision. A marker. The marker Jagger had mentioned.
It was about time.
I had to turn around one last time, slowing down enough I was thankful there wasn’t anyone on my tail. There was a road of sorts, more like a path with a few pebbles of gravel thrown in for good measure. I made the turn, grateful I had a truck with damn good suspension.
Shadows were blocking the sun the foliage was becoming so dense.
I kept driving and driving. How far back did this go?
While I adored nature, it was more to the tune of keeping a single plant in my little house alive for longer than two weeks and having a bunch of flowers I could admire while watching television. My idea of a good time wasn’t traipsing in the woods.
The little voice inside my head was telling me to turn around. I almost listened to her when I noticed something out of place just up ahead. I had to park the truck. The lane was far too overgrown. Hell, I’d come this far. Right.
I checked my surroundings as soon as I’d climbed out, making certain I was alone. If there was a serial killer in the woods, my body wouldn’t be found for weeks, maybe months. But in just a few steps I was able to see what had caught my eye.
A Harley.
A tiny shiver coursed down my spine. I’d forgotten Hunter had told me he owned one. Jagger had been right. Hunter had intentionally disappeared. I pushed my way through the thick foliage, wishing I’d worn a thicker coat. The chill was picking up with the breeze. I could almost smell snow, something I’d loved as a child.
I could see nothing in front of me but trees and more trees. Finally, I thought I noticed a small clearing. With the trampled underbrush, it was possible that was where Hunter had gone.
How did he find the place? It was completely secluded.
Maybe it was a locals’ thing.
As soon as I moved past the last pine tree, I took a breath of fresh air. He was there, sitting on a grassy knoll overlooking what I imagined to be a breathtaking body of water.
I’d learned already to keep snow boots in the car, something Bella had taught me the moment I’d moved here. They crunched down on the brown leaves and I was shocked Hunter didn’t jerk up with his weapon in his hand.
He didn’t, merely tipping his head slightly. He was in jeans and a thick parka, sitting with his knees bent and his arms encircling them. When I was only a few feet away, I noticed his Glock was placed behind him only a few inches away.
I still hadn’t been able to get the statement Jagger had made about checking out from my mind.
“Hello, Esme.” His voice was completely devoid of any tone, any emotion. That worried me more than if he was raging with anger or sobbing from heartache. What I suspected about him was that when he got very quiet, he was suffering the most.
“I thought I’d find you here.” I tried to act casual, walking closer and sitting down next to him. I’d been right. The view was spectacular. The lake had a stunning waterfall, the water powering over the rocky edge to an unknown depth. I could only imagine what it could be like in the heat of the summer. A little skinny-dipping action. The brief vision of his naked body kept me from launching into him.
He deserved the same respect he’d given me. At least one thing I knew. If he wanted to be all alone, he’d send me away. He had no qualms about telling me like it was and that was one thing I appreciated about him.
“You did, huh? The question is who told you?”
I shrugged. “I’m not giving up my sources.” Damn it. He was quiet. Too quiet. “Do you want me to leave?”
“Nah. I was kind of hoping you’d show up.”
“I did call you.”
“I’ve been up here a while. No reception.”
As if checking to see if he was telling me a fib, I yanked my phone from my jacket. Of course he noticed. The shake of his head was admonishing enough.
“You don’t trust me at all, do you, Esme?”
“I do. Other than Bella, you might be the only other person I do trust in this entire world.”
“Then you should know I wasn’t trying to avoid you. I just needed some air.”
“Because of your dad.”
He half chuckled. “No secrets in this town.”
“Not really. You didn’t go see him in the hospital. Why?”
As he sat back, placing his palms on the grass and lengthening his legs, I curled closer. The sight of the weapon just sitting there, as if waiting to be used, was extremely disturbing.
“Truth is I couldn’t stand to see him hooked up to machines. He was always so big and strong. I just can’t believe he’s dying, Esme. We both wasted so much time. Him barking at me for not being the son he wanted and me hating him and doing everything I could to stay away.”
“Families can be difficult.”
“Yeah, some of them. But my father raised his three boys to be soldiers and that’s what we became through and through. No emotion. No regrets. No guilt. You feel almost invincible until suddenly one day it all comes crashing down on you.”
“I know what that feels like.”
He threw a look my way. “I know you do.”
“You could have talked to me. I’d like to help.”
“You have enough on your plate, butterfly. I didn’t want to be the man who crushed your resilience.”
I turned more toward him, folding my legs and taking his hand into both of mine. “You couldn’t do that, Hunter. I’m a tough girl. Yes, I have my moments of sadness, lack of patience, and anger like everybody else. You’ve driven me nuts, but you’ve sparked something deep inside of me. You pulled me from the kind of darkness that had already threatened to come crashing back into my life. Now, let me do the same for you.” When I squeezed his hand, he smiled.
“You’re pretty damn special. Do you know that?”
“I’m just me, a little quirky around the edges.”
He pulled his hand free, cupping my jaw. “You drive me crazy, woman, but you also set me free when no one else has been able to do that.”
I took a deep breath. What I was about to say I knew would anger him. “If that’s the case, put your gun away.”
His eyebrows furrowed and he slowly looked down at his weapon. “I thought about it more than once, Esme. I’m not going to lie. Today included. I know it’s selfish as fuck, but I lost a part of myself during the tours of duty and beyond. I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same as I once was.”
“You won’t be. You’re a better version. I’m likely not the right person to talk to you about PTSD, but the one thing I do believe and I’ve heard before is that you need to forgive yourself. Whatever happened. Whatever situation you were placed in to create such a wave of guilt and misery is something you need to let go of.”
“You’re one smart lady. Before you came along, nothing seemed worthwhile. Nothing sparked my interest. Then you flew in like that feisty bat out of hell, refusing to buy my bullshit.”
At least he was smiling.
“Well, you know I can be one tough broad so put your gun away. Please.”
He glanced at the water for a few seconds. “My father told me one thing I’d forgotten until you dropped into my life. He said that love wasn’t what made the world worth living in. It was building all the joyful memories that made everything special. It took me thirty some years to figure out and admit he was right.”
“Does that mean you’d like to build memories with a bat out of hell?”
When he laughed, it seemed the whole world lit up. “Hell, yeah. You want to start now?”
“Uh-oh. What do you have in mind?”
“How about a ride?”
“A ride?” I gritted my teeth.
“Yeah, babe. On my Harley. You can wrap your arms around me and I’ll really show you all the best spots in Danger Falls.”
“Well, since you put it that way, I’d love to take a hot, hard ride with you. With my rugged, handsome hero.”