Chapter 21
KYLEN
Maybe there’s some truth to what Kole claims. Today in class was the first time I truly realized that Harold was actively avoiding me.
He wouldn’t even meet my eye when I stopped to say hello.
When I went to sit beside him, he practically hyperventilated, so I sat in my usual seat instead of beside him.
I didn’t pay much attention in class today because I was puzzling over Harold’s behavior. It wasn’t dismissal because there’s no attraction, and we didn’t click on a date. Not that I’m going to pretend to be well-versed in what that looks like. Harold was my one and only date.
But I’m pretty confident it was panic and fear in his voice and painted on his face, not disinterest.
It isn’t until I’m walking back to the frat house that I wonder why he’d be afraid of me. Even if what Kole said is true—and I’m not entirely convinced—Harold shouldn’t fear me. I’m the least intimidating person on campus. Pretty sure.
I avoid looking at Reese at the door as he opens it for me, and I walk by. He’s wearing a Princess Leia outfit, I think. That gold one. He looks unfazed as I actively avoid looking at him, and my cheeks burn like someone just stuck a hot coal to my skin.
As I’m climbing the stairs, my feet falter when I remember the words Arek had said in the dark all those weeks ago. Before I knew it was Arek. Since the end of our very first time together. I’ll kill anyone who touches you.
But that’s just… not real, right? It’s something people say when they’re, uh… possessive?
I chew the inside of my lip as I push my bedroom door open. My windows are open, and a cool breeze ruffles loose fabric and papers throughout the room, bringing with it a floral scent. I let it wash through me and dismiss the idea that Arek meant that threat.
He didn’t, right? He couldn’t. I would never say this in my parents’ presence, but we’re just kids. He can’t have killed someone, right?
Right?!
I shake my head, brushing off the concern entirely. I know Arek. He wouldn’t hurt me. I repeat the words firmly in my mind as a little voice that sounds exactly like my sister whispers that he could have hurt Harold, and my statement is still true. He wouldn’t hurt me, but would he hurt Harold?
You’re mine! Understand? Mine. I’ll kill anyone who touches you, little kit.
Arek, as the anonymous man in the dark, repeated those words in various arrangements many, many times. It should have been concerning, but I’d been so caught up in how good it felt to be with him, the pleasure he fed me, erasing all the fear in my head that I’d simply… forgotten. Dismissed it.
I drop into the chair at my desk and pull out my electronics. Since I didn’t take any notes in class—hell, I didn’t even listen to the professor talk!—I log into the online portal and see what the topic was today.
I feel like such a cliché since I don’t really know what I want to do after college. I know a bachelor’s degree isn’t guaranteeing me shit. I’m here because… well, because Kole wanted to go to LU and Lathan’s here.
Somewhere. Not like I’ve seen him more than a handful of times all year. Or our previous two years. I’m not even sure why he stays enrolled when he only takes a single course at a time. Does he even want a degree?
Huh.
I pull my phone out and dial his number. I’m a little shocked when my brother answers.
“Hey, Ky Ky. What’s up?”
I pull my phone away from my ear, just to make sure he really answered. Well, damn. “Hi?” I respond, and my brother laughs.
“You called me, baby brother. Why do you sound so surprised that I answered?”
“Because… I haven’t talked to you in, like… months. I kinda thought you didn’t exist, and I’d been making you up this entire time.”
Lathan laughs again. “Wow. You’re just as dramatic as Kole.”
“Hey! I resent that.”
His smile remains in his voice when he answers, “Uh-huh. So, what’s up?”
“Nothing. I was thinking about you and that you’re so close, and I never see or talk to you. Only taking one class at a time, so I don’t know why you remain enrolled at all. And I guess I really did think that you just wouldn’t answer.”
“I’ve been neglecting my brotherly duties, huh? That’s what you’re telling me? I hear you. Want to come over for dinner tonight?”
“It’s like you think I have no life!” I complain dramatically.
Lathan laughs again, and I smile. I can imagine his big grin.
He looks just like our dad, Sage, with his darker skin and dark eyes.
He’s not quite as… puppy-like as our father—that’s what our other dads call our father, Sage; a puppy.
Wiggly, happy, tail always wagging. Lathan is far more laid back, like our dad, Simon, though not the epitome of calm and cool like our Daddy Quin.
Kole is just like our twin dads, Damon and Declan. A little wild, confident, and seen. Everywhere.
Me? Maybe I’m like our sixth father, Zarek, but like, a hundred times more insecure. In some ways, our dad Zarek is probably the most insecure of our fathers. I’m not sure why or how, but I’ve always thought that.
So yeah, I guess that makes me like him. Though Kole and I look like our twin fathers, which can’t be surprising, really.
“Are you busy tonight?” Lathan asks as I’m thinking that maybe I miss my dads and I need to call them.
“I don’t know,” I admit, and think about Arek. Then I look at my computer with the portal pulled up. “Actually, I ignored class today, so I should probably study. I think I also have to man Hush tonight. We keep having dropouts of staff, and I’m about ready to throw a tantrum.”
Lathan hums. “Sic Kole on them.”
“Trust me, I’m about to.”
“Ohhhh,” Lathan says. “You’re seriously annoyed. The only time you let Kole loose is when you’re fed up.”
“I am fed up. Hush isn’t going to fail because it was a bad idea or whatever. It’s going to fail because we don’t have anyone showing up to work,” I complain.
“If you’re having trouble with the DIK population showing up to work, why don’t you reach out to the Omega boys to see if they want to take some shifts?”
I’m about to dismiss the idea, but… yeah. Why not? If our own guys don’t want to pick up the slack they’re required to, then I can offer the money to Omega guys instead. “I don’t hate that idea. Suggest more good things, and I might forgive you for ignoring us so much.”
Lathan chuckles. “How about tomorrow night?”
I open my mouth to agree and then sigh. “I promised I’d help with the dick molding thing tomorrow, which maybe I can get out of if I say I have brotherly responsibilities to attend because honestly, I’m already mortified and want to sink through the floor.”
“Such dramatics. I’m out of town this weekend and have class on Monday. How about Tuesday?”
“I have a dry run sensation play class on Tuesday,” I whine.
“Sounds to me like we need to work around your schedule, Ky.”
“I didn’t know I was so busy. But seriously. Where do you go all the time? Are you working? Are you running an underground rabbit race ring? Are you smuggling exotic flowers into the country? Are you a sex worker and don’t want to tell us? No shade. Sex work is work.”
“Oh my god, Kylen, shut up,” Lathan says, laughing loudly. “No, I’m not doing any of those things. No, I don’t work.”
“You’re seriously never home.”
“I’m not,” he agrees, but doesn’t elaborate.
“You’re living a secret life and don’t want me to know about it.”
Lathan doesn’t answer right away.
“Do you think I’m going to judge?” I push. “Or that I won’t approve? Do you think I’ll feel differently about you? Because I won’t. I love you no matter what you tell me.”
My brother sighs. “No, I don’t think any of that.”
He still doesn’t elaborate, though. I frown. “You’re not going to tell me, though, are you?”
“I’m not,” he says quietly. “Not right now.”
“Why?”
“We’re allowed to have private things, Kylen. It doesn’t mean I love or trust you any less. I’m not ready to share yet, but when I am, I’ll tell you. You first, probably. You’re like the gateway of our family, and I think I’ll feel less nervous talking to you over anyone else.”
I’m simultaneously sad and elated at his words. There’s something he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with us, and that’s what makes me sad. That he would tell me first is probably the best feeling in the world, in contrast.
“Okay.”
“Want to tell me about this guy you’re seeing that Kole wants to bury alive?” Lathan asks.
“You don’t want to tell me about your thing but want to know about mine?”
“Yes. You’re tracking.”
“I’m flipping you off right now.”
“No, you’re not,” he says, probably grinning.
I roll my eyes. “His name is Arek Van Doren. He’s…” My heart gives this concerning little jump of excitement where it threatens to stop entirely or race right out of my chest. I sigh. “He’s really great, Lathan.”
“Yeah?”
“He is. He’s so nice to me. He holds my hand and hugs me tightly—like we see our dads hug. He texts me just to say hi when I’m in class, and he brings me lunch and… I really like him.”
“I hear he leaves you covered in bruises. Specifically, around your neck.”
“I like them!” I say defensively. “Just because Kole is vanilla and likes to pretend she’s not doesn’t mean I am. I like it rough, and I like visual reminders that he likes my… uh… sex.” My face burns, and I want to hide it from, well, no one since I’m all alone. Fuck’s sake. What is wrong with me?
Lathan laughs loudly. “I can tell by your tone that you have this argument with Kole often.”
“Yes. She’s offended that I like to be manhandled.”
He’s still laughing. “Okay, okay. No judgment, bro. Promise. As long as he understands no, then I support your non-vanilla lifestyle.”
“I have a safeword,” I say with a pout. “It’s bubbles. He knows it. He asked me the very first time we were together. That’s probably more than most people.”
“You’re right. That’s far more than most first times.”