Chapter 36 #2
“The only thing you know about someone touching your dick is bad touch,” I say, using my cousins’ words from our childhood.
“While you never outright told me you didn’t want to be touched there during sex, it was very clear right away that it made you uncomfortable.
I will never force you, but I think it might be a different experience than a hand or a mouth on you, since it’s something you haven’t done. Not even against your will. Right?”
Kylen nods. “Right,” he whispers.
“You’re in complete control, and if you don’t like it or if maybe it triggers something, we stop. You’re in charge. You have the reins.”
He takes a deep breath and nods. “Okay.”
“Yeah? You want to?”
Kylen nods again. “Yes.”
With a grin, I push the blankets away and reach for the lube on the nightstand. I don’t ask him to prep me. I don’t even suggest it. I shift so he can watch me do so, and his eyes are glued. Wide. His breath shallows, cock hard and leaking.
“What position do you want to try first?” I ask.
“I want to look at you,” he says quietly.
I hand him the lube and lie on my back, putting him between my legs. I adjust myself around him so he doesn’t have to move while he calms down. He’s clearly nervous when he eventually begins to adjust himself until he’s kneeling between my legs.
Kylen slowly puts lube on himself and then stares at my ass. His cheeks are so damn red, I want to lick them. Eventually, with shaking hands, he gets closer and brings his cockhead to my hole.
His eyes close, and for a long few minutes, he simply breathes. His cockhead remains pressed to my ass with no pressure. No teasing. Just… feeling.
“It’s okay if you’re not ready for this,” I tell him.
He nods but doesn’t open his eyes. “Talk to me?” he asks.
I touch his hand where it rests on my leg, and his eyes open.
“You’re safe. I’ll always keep you safe.
Every place we go, you’re safe. I’ll chase your bad memories away.
I’ll make you smile and laugh, and… I might struggle in my actions, but I’ll also always make sure you know I love you. You’re my entire reason for living.”
The tension throughout Kylen’s body releases slowly. He leans in as I talk, and very carefully, he pushes his cockhead inside me. I smile, hopefully encouragingly, and change my dialogue to encourage him.
“That’s it. You can go as slowly as you need. Does it feel good? You like the feel of my ass around you?”
Kylen nods, lips parting, as he slowly pushes deeper and deeper. His hands slide up my stomach and chest until he’s hovering over my face, and his hips slowly, experimentally begin to move. “Oh my god,” he groans.
“You like that?” I ask.
His nod is far more insistent this time. A little wild. A little unhinged. “Oh my god,” he repeats, and his hips pick up pace again.
I continue to talk to him, warmth flooding me—both from arousal and because he trusts me.
This isn’t really about firsts. It never was with him.
It was always about trust with Kylen. He’s been shown that he can’t trust people with his body.
Even though I didn’t necessarily make the conscious decision to do so, I’ve been making him take his power back a little more every day.
Every time I touch him. Every time he touches me.
Kylen doesn’t last long, though he goes much longer for his first time topping than I thought he might. He comes rather easily, considering he almost always comes hands-free.
When he stops moving, chest heaving and dick still in my ass as he stares down at where we’re connected, I hand him the butt plug. His eyes widen, and then he looks at me.
“I’m going to keep your load in my ass today. Just like you did yesterday.”
He shivers. His hand shakes a little as he takes it from me. I watch as he awkwardly lubes it and, face beet red, he slowly pulls his dick from me and tries to replace it with the plug. There’s resistance. Of course. When I tell him he needs to push, I think he’s going to melt into the bed.
But then it pops into place, and Kylen stares at it, his finger moving over the flat base that keeps it from being completely swallowed by my body. “That’s so hot,” he says, voice choked.
I grin.
His eyes move to my hard cock. I didn’t come. We weren’t in a position where I was going to come, but it wasn’t about me. This was about Kylen and his pleasure. His comfort.
“I’m going to get you off,” he says, and there’s a steely note of determination.
I rest my hands under my head and let my knees fall wide. The butt plug is thick in all the right places, so it’s already pressing against my prostate deliciously. Knowing that he just nutted inside me also makes my body sing.
“Go for it, little kit.”
Instead, he scrambles off the bed. I watch him curiously and maybe a little confused. When he comes back, he hands me a wrapped package that he took from his drawer. I raise a brow.
“Don’t even lecture me about not abiding by our agreement not to exchange gifts.” He pointedly looks at the little mountain of presents that are, in fact, for him. “Just so you know, I fully intend on spoiling you, too. I love giving gifts.” He shoves the package at me. “Open it now.”
It seems he had the same idea that I did. There are two articles of clothing inside. A tee that has one word. ‘Mine.’ The hoodie, however, makes me grin wickedly.
“‘Boy toy,’” I read aloud.
His cheeks flame, but his eyes are fire. Staring into mine.
“You’re my boy toy. Together, they make sense. If I had thought to put my name on them for all the world to know that Arek Van Doren is mine, I would have.”
I wrap my hand around his neck and pull him down so our mouths crash together. His hands—both of them—wrap around my dick, and while he’s tentative, a little shaky, and somewhat awkward, he jerks me as I devour his mouth.
I’m going to enjoy being Kylen’s boy toy.