Chapter 7
seven
Liam
Four Months Later
I lock the door before I even kick off my boots.
Slide the bolt. No hesitation. Wedge the chair under the knob. My routine for the past couple months.
You get burned enough times, you stop touching the fucking stove.
Everything with Felicity has moved fast. Padraig and I found the rental house at the start of summer.
Off campus, close enough to the bars where we play, far enough to make noise without the cops showing up.
When we brought Felicity into the band, he and I invited her to move into the spare room across the hall from me.
Stevie came back a couple weeks later. She and Padraig share the master on the other side of the house.
At first, Felicity was a pretty easy roommate.
Until we crossed the line as I knew we would. Her being across the hall from me made the sex easier. She rode me like she had something to prove, and I let her. We both got off and she curled up next to me like we were something.
Then she came back the next night. And the night after. Slid her hand into my boxers while I was half-asleep and got me off before I said a word.
I didn’t say no until I’d had enough. She seemed to take it well. I thought we both knew what this thing was.
Unfortunately, Felicity doesn’t respect boundaries. Not when she’s bored. Or horny. There’s no aspect of her life where she thinks rules apply to her.
It’s got to stop. I don’t want her living in the house, but we’re stuck. At the very least, I want her gone from my bed and personal space. She lingers like smoke. Always watching. Singing in the kitchen like the house belongs to her. Acting like she’s the reason Fireball finally has traction.
She’s not.
The band is me and Padraig, busting our asses to make something stick. Writing constantly. Rehearsing until our voices go raw. She has a great voice and is a good performer, but she’s not the engine. She’s the window dressing.
Padraig and Stevie haven’t caught on yet. Ideally, I don’t want them to. Which means Felicity’s holding a card I don’t want her to play. She hasn’t used it yet. But she will. Eventually. Probably the second I say no in a way she can’t twist.
I stare at the chair braced under the knob. This is madness. I walk across the room and pull it away.
She’ll knock. Or she won’t.
Either way, tonight, I’m not hiding.
Sure enough, I hear a soft shuffle. Bare feet on the hallway runner. I know it’s her.
I sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor, palms sweating. I wipe them on my jeans. Stand. Sit again. My stomach’s a knot, but I’m done hiding. Pretending like my situation isn’t going to catch up with me.
I cross the room and rest my hand on the doorknob. Breathe.
Open it before she knocks.
Felicity wears an oversized sweatshirt and no makeup, which somehow feels more calculated than the full glam she rarely goes without. She looks soft, undone, like a young, innocent girl.
“Thought I’d have to beg tonight.” She bats her eyes at me. “You’ve kept me out for a while.”
“You still might.” I turn and sit back down on my bed. “Not for what you think.”
She smiles like she’s already halfway to getting her way and slips inside, closing and locking the door behind her. She moves toward me like she’s measuring the space between the bed and the gap between us. I sit on the edge of the mattress, elbows on my knees, waiting.
“So…I’ve been thinking.” She scoots next to me. “You and I didn’t give it a real shot. I think we can be something.”
“No, we can’t.” I shake my head. “This was never going to be anything other than a couple of fucks.”
Her expression is intense. “Are you seriously saying, I was a mistake?”
“No. You were a choice I made.” I peer up at her. “We agreed we’d get the sexual tension out of the way so we could move forward in the band.”
“I didn’t mean it,” she pouts, sliding her hand up my thigh. “Not when you fucked me so good. Don’t you remember how hard I made you come?”
I place my hand on top of hers to keep it from moving. “Well, I did mean it. I liked fucking you and now I’m done.”
She flinches. Good. We’re through pretending.
I stand up and move toward the window to put some distance between us.
“Felicity, let’s focus on the band. You can sing circles around anyone else. I want you there. I want Fireball to blow up. It’s not gonna happen if we’re dragging personal shit into every set.”
She crosses her arms. “So you got what you want and I’m supposed to pretend nothing happened?”
“No. I don’t want to pretend.” I meet her eyes. “I want you to be clear about it not happening anymore. Like I’m being now.”
“You sure Padraig would appreciate your version of clear?” She crosses her arms.
There it is. I don’t react. I’ve been waiting for this moment.
“I know you haven’t told him yet,” I admit. “You will. Eventually. When you think it’ll sting more. I think you’re the kinda girl who’ll take great delight in watching it land.”
She lifts her chin but doesn’t deny it.
“He’ll be pissed,” I continue. “He’ll have every right to be. I fucked up. I should’ve thought about the band and what it would mean if this went south because of my cock.”
She watches me like she’s trying to find where I’ll break.
“Get this straight, you stupid cunt,” I continue. “I’m gonna tell him myself. You won’t stop me from making this right. I won’t fuck you again. I don’t play games and I won’t let you try to convince yourself this was something it never was.”
Felicity rolls her eyes. “You’re outta control.”
“No. I think I’m finally in control.” I walk to the door.
She steps closer. Runs a finger along the hem of my shirt. Soft, teasing.
“C’mon, Liam,” she purrs.
“No.” I take a step back. “Please leave. Now, I’m bored.”
Her voice drops to a whisper. “Liar. You still get stiff when you think about me.”
“I get hard when the wind blows,” I deadpan. “Nothing to do with you, specifically.”
She scowls. “Fuck you, Liam.”
“You keep trying, but no thank you.” I gesture for her to leave.
“You think you’re the only one who’s scared of losing something? I didn’t join Fireball to fall for you. I wanted to be in the band. I wanted to matter. But you—” She chokes on her words. No tears fall. It’s not grief. It’s fury. “You think Padraig’s the only thing I can burn,” she snaps.
I nod. “If you start lighting matches, we all go down. You included.”
She fucking hates me for saying it out loud.
“Don’t make me your enemy, Felicity. Don’t ruin your, our shot over something we both agreed wasn’t going to last.”
She gulps. “I don’t want to be your enemy. I want you to want me.”
“I did.” I meet her eye. “Then I didn’t. I’m being honest.”
She stares at the door. Doesn’t move.
“For what it’s worth, I didn’t lie to you,” I add. “I didn’t handle it right either. I’m sorry for hurting you.”
She storms out.
When she’s gone, I lock the door. Sit down. Dig the heels of my hands into my eyes.
I’ve never lied to my twin. I’m going to correct my error immediately.
No more hiding.
No more running.
Fireball is my life.
I’m done setting fires I don’t know how to put out.