Chapter 49 - Liam
forty-nine
Liam
Later That Day
I know how to blow things up.
Push people away before they can smell my shame.
Then Linus brought her into my life.
Avonna knows exactly who she is. She names her desires with a steady voice. Goes after what she wants without apology. When she decided on both Linus and me, it’s her truth, not a transgression.
I want to fall to my knees for her.
For them.
Instead, I gave them my body but kept my truth locked away. I made myself small again. Starved at the table they set.
Avonna called me on it many times. Made herself vulnerable and told me my silence felt like rejection. Linus gave me space, not punishment. I’m not such which hurt worse.
I’m the problem. My silence. My cowardice. Yet, they’re still here. Waiting. Not for perfection. For honesty.
I nearly lost everything tonight, but here we are.
Wet. Clean from the shower. Wrapped in each other on the couch in my hotel suite.
I’m done running.
I press my cheek against Avonna’s. She blinks up at me, smiling like she already knows what I’m about to say.
“I want this,” I swear solemnly. “You. Him. Us. Our baby. I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”
She touches my cheek. “Good.”
“I feel free.” Linus leans in. Kisses the back of my neck. “Whatever the consequences, we’re in it together.”
I wrap my arm around her from behind and pull Linus against my back. Our bodies are clean and our souls are catching up to the events of the past twelve hours.
It seems so stupid now. How I’ve deliberately closed myself off to my future. My family.
My family is in this room.
Untraditional. Unorthodox.
Unbreakable.
Avonna’s head rests on my chest, one leg draped over mine like she’s anchoring herself there.
Linus lies along my other side, long and quiet, his fingers tracing absent lines along my forearm.
We can hear the low hush of the city outside, distant traffic and the faint rattle of an elevator somewhere down the hall.
We’ve gone still.
Not awkward. Not tense.
Aware.
“I keep thinking about it.” Avonna voice is slightly muffled against my chest. “What it means. It’s all hitting me.”
Linus’s hand pauses. Mine tightens around her shoulder.
“You’re pregnant,” I marvel.
She nods without lifting her head. “Not in some abstract way. I mean… now. Us. This. The band.”
Right.
Shit.
Not fear. Responsibility.
“I want it.” There’s no hesitation in Linus’s voice. “I’m not scared of the work. I’m scared of doin’ it wrong.”
Avonna meets his eyes. “You won’t.”
She turns to me. “You okay?”
“Aye.” I exhale. “I think so. I just keep runnin’ the future in my head. The conversation I can’t avoid anymore.”
They exactly which one I mean.
“Padraig,” Linus says.
“Padraig,” Avonna echoes.
“I need to tell him right away.” I gulp down a wave of panic. “I’m not sure how he’ll react.”
Linus brushes the hair from my eyes. “He’s going to feel pushed aside. Even if he won’t admit it.”
Avonna sits up enough to look at both of us. “We don’t minimize it. Or soften it. We tell him the truth. The entire truth. He loves you, Liam. It’s about expanding our lives, not shrinking them.”
“He’s already at his limit.” I rub my face. “Facin’ another hiatus or break won’t bode well.”
“I know.” She kisses my forehead. “Hiding will hurt him more.”
Avonna reaches for my hand. Then Linus’s. Links us together between her palms.
“We don’t get to build our family by pretending the people we love won’t be affected,” she continues. “I know a lot about this and I won’t allow our child to grow up dodging honesty.”
I stare at the ceiling for a moment, then back at them. “Okay. I’ll tell him today. Once we get our day goin’.”
“Thank you.” Avonna’s shoulders drop, relief washing through her like she’s been holding herself rigid for days.
We settle back into the couch, quieter now, steadier. “I want to come again.” Avonna strokes my chest. “How do you feel about me riding your face while you fuck Linus.”
Jesus.
I’ll never say no to her.
She shifts and positions herself carefully, one knee on either side of my head, facing Linus. I slide my hands up her thighs, guiding her pussy to my mouth. When I lick her, her whole body shudders.
Linus’s thighs brush mine as he straddles me, ass hovering over my cock. He strokes me a few times and guides me to his entrance. His rim is already glossy with lube. Ready.
He lowers himself. I purr into Avonna’s pussy as I feel the first inch of my cock press into him. Inch by inch. She rocks against my face. Linus breathes out my name, and we start to move.
I thrust up. He grinds down. She rides my tongue. When Avonna leans over to take Linus’s cock in her mouth, we become a single, perfect, writhing, rhythm of need.
The deep, wrecked, sounds we make fill the room until we’re all on the verge of earth-shattering orgasms.
Then—a click.
The door. Footsteps.
A voice I know better than my own:
“Dar, wanna get breakfast with the family? Why did you disappear without sayin’—”
Silence.
I freeze.
Avonna stills above me and pulls off Linus with a pop. Linus stops mid-grind.
“Liam?” Padraig’s voice tears through the living room.
Sharp. Confused.
Avonna scrambles off me and clutches a pillow to her breasts, giving me a clear line of vision to my twin brother standing in the doorway. My card key in hand.
Staring at the three of us. Mouth open. Eyes wide.
A bag of chips falls from his hand to the ground.
I’m still inside Linus. He and I don’t move. We’re frozen. Fused.
Only one thought resonates, louder than the blood pounding in my ears.
There’s no going back.