Chapter 50 - Avonna
fifty
Avonna
Four Months Later
Seattle’s sky hangs low and heavy as we wind through Capitol Hill.
The streets are glassy from the lingering drizzle. Liam drives with one hand, the other rests over mine on my thigh. Linus sits in the back but leans forward between the front seats, fingers curled around the headrests with enough force to break them.
We’re silent as the car creeps toward the McGloughlin house.
I place my palm over the slight curve of my belly beneath my sweater. Four months. We haven’t told anyone. Not Padraig. Not Liam’s family. Not Linus’s either.
This time it’s the fear of what we can’t yet define. There’s no blueprint for raising a child in a trio, considering the circumstances. There’s a lot to figure out.
We have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and an ultrasound.
We’re not sure who our baby’s biological father is.
Linus doesn’t want to find out. Liam agrees.
Then they change their mind. Then change it again.
I need to know and we’ve danced around the prenatal tests long enough, but had to finish Fireball’s tour in the midst of it all.
The truth is, despite all of us talking a big game, none of us has come to terms with the fact we’re actually going to be parents.
My dear friend Marcella’s text flashes across the my phone. Something about affidavits and coparenting forms. I silence it. We’ll deal with the legal stuff after we get through tomorrow.
It’s crazy to believe I used to be the hostess at her family’s restaurant and now she’s helping us figure out how to legally protect my polygamous family.
None of us expected it to be so…challenging.
Linus and I are legally married. We both want Liam to be in our marriage with us.
Add in triad parenting? We’re suddenly juggling guardianship clauses, hospital access forms, power-of-attorney triggers, custody frameworks.
We thought the toughest part would be coming out of hiding. Turns out, no. We also have to protect our chosen life and the parental rights for our baby. There’s little precedent and a lot of potential pitfalls.
It’s strange how something so tender, so intimate, can start to feel like a grind. We try to remind ourselves every form and every contract is a promise. A safeguard. A modern family. We’re in this. All the way.
I glance at Liam. He hasn’t slept much. None of us has.
Stepping out of the shadows has been wonderful on one hand, disheartening on the other.
In Albuquerque, the three of us went out for dinner.
We held hands. I kissed my men. Stupid. The hostess’s face pinched like she was looking at animals out of their cage.
The waitstaff all stared like we were zoo animals.
Microaggressions surround us like minefields. They’re triggering for Liam. Which is why coming here tonight to face his family is a huge step and could also be a disaster.
“I forget how green it is here,” Linus jests, sensing I’m spinning a bit. “Makes Dublin look like it needs waterin’.”
Liam huffs. “Do you have to say it every time we’re in Seattle?”
“Still true.” Linus grins at me.
It works. I snap out of my broodiness and take in my surroundings. The houses get bigger as we make our way uphill. Stately old queens, with wraparound porches and slanted roofs. Faded trim and fresh flowers. A lot of history.
Up ahead, I spot the one from Liam’s photos and feel my stomach flip. He squeezes my knee. Doesn’t look at me, doesn’t need to.
I’ve played to thousands. Sung to festival crowds. This is more challenging. I’m vibrating with nerves, even if this is what I want.
“Last chance to fake a flat tire.” I try a woeful attempt at humor.
“Nope.” Liam raises an eyebrow. “We’re doin’ this before I change my mind.”
Linus clutches the back of his neck. “We didn’t have to make it such an event.”
“It is one.” Liam shakes his head. “I never go home. Not unless Ma begs or Padraig guilts me into showin’ up.” He looks between us. “I did as I promised. Called her. Told her I was comin’ and I was bringin’ you both.”
A pause.
“I want them to know who I love.”
“Well, we love you too.” I squeeze his wrist.
The car brakes outside a grand Craftsman. Lights glow in the windows. A porch swing rocks in the breeze. The McGloughlin home is not only where the twins grew up, it’s the place of Liam’s nightmares.
My eyes flick to Liam. He’s pale. I know he’s thinking about the night Padraig found us. There’s no word for the sound his twin made when he caught the three of us mid-fuck.
It was a full-blown rupture.
I’ll never forget the look on Padraig’s face when he finally comprehended what he was seeing.
He’s never mentioned it to me or Linus since. We’ve gone about our day-to-day band life like nothing happened. We’re gonna have to deal with it at some point, but our schedule has been crazy and we owe it to the fans to keep the train on the tracks.
For now, the three of us keep our relationship private and he doesn’t know about the baby growing inside me.
Yet.
Liam parks, turns off the engine. We sit in the quiet tick of cooling metal for a second until he finally speaks. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to know.” Linus caresses his neck. “You’ll know when you see them.”
“You mean my da?”
Linus nods. “Yeah.”
“I don’t want a fight.”
“You won’t get one.” I cup his face. “You’re a grown man now. With two partners who’ll stand by you no matter what. We can walk out at any time.”
Liam exhales and opens his car door. “Right. Let’s rip the plaster off.”
When we are at the front door, Cillian opens it, and we follow him in. The table is set with a huge platter of corned beef and cabbage is in the middle next to a bowl of mashed potatoes, a loaf of soda bread and small bowl of mustard sauce.
Liam’s fingers brush mine. Linus’s hand settles at my back, steadying me.
The scent is mouthwatering. An unexpected wave of emotion passes through me.
This family scene is nothing like the cold scraps and silent tables of my childhood.
Here, there are place settings for all of us, as though we’d be missed if the seat were empty.
Maureen appears from the kitchen, apron dusted with flour, arms already outstretched. “Oh, come here, my loves.”
She wraps me in a hug and nearly squishes the air from my lungs, then pulls back to cradle my face. “You look thin. Are my boys not feedin’ you?”
“Tour life.” I giggle nervously at the word “boys,” knowing she means Padraig and Liam.
She hugs Linus with equal enthusiasm and turns her attention to Liam like she’s trying to stitch him back together. Her hands frame his face, thumbs brush the tired places he can’t hide, and I see it clear as breath on glass. She loves her son with a force filling this entire room.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” She kisses his cheek. “Rory’s…” She pauses.
Liam stiffens.
“Upstairs,” she finishes.
As if he heard her, Rory appears on the landing and joins as we sit at the table.
Dinner starts with softball questions from Maureen. The flight. The tour. Padraig and Mara. Cillian jumps in with talk about some of the projects he’s working on at McGloughlin Construction.
We dig into the corned beef and cabbage. No one says much. It’s not exactly tense, more like awkward. Throughout, Rory watches Liam with a careful, almost fragile attention. Not pushing. Waiting.
When plates begin to clear, he speaks. “I’m glad you reached out.” His voice carries a weight he has held for years. “This is nice.”
Liam nods. “Yeah.”
“You’re not home often.” Rory takes a small breath. “Never on your own.”
Liam nods again. “No.”
Linus shifts closer to Liam. I slide my hand to Liam’s thigh. He weaves his fingers between mine, grounding himself between the two of us.
Rory clears his throat. “I am glad you’re here.”
“Well, we’re here for a reason and I don’t know where to begin.” Liam puffs out a half laugh.
Maureen grips Rory’s arm. A familiar gesture.
“How about this.” Liam draws a bracing breath. “I’ve been hidin’ myself from this family and I want you to know who I am.”
The room suspends with a hovering stillness.
“I’ve been in love with Linus since the year after everythin’ happened here. We met at Wazzu. He managed Fireball. I was scared to tell any of you…” He pauses. “I didn’t think I could ever bring him around our family after. When his visa expired we split. Padraig, obviously, knows all of this.”
Linus stays still beside him, eyes low.
Liam continues, “There’s more. The reason I cut it off was Linus and I dreamed of findin’ a woman who would love both of us but never believed it was possible.
We broke up. I didn’t think I could be faithful to him.
Or anyone. I felt like a loser and was determined to never give my heart away again.
Spent years livin’ the rockstar life with all of the trappings.
” He looks directly at his da. “Nothin’ was off limits. ”
I shift in my seat so I can rest my head on his shoulder. I’ve never been so proud of Liam in my life and I don’t care if my affection bothers his parents. He needs me and he has me.
“Linus didn’t give up on me. He brought me back into his life a couple years ago.” Liam’s voice softens. “And he wasn’t alone. Avonna and Linus are married. She loved him long before I stepped back into the picture and she also knew Linus still loved me, inexplicable, but true.”
Linus chuffs out a laugh. Liam brushes his thumb over my hand.
“They waited for me.” He shuts his eyes. “Made space for me. Offered me a home. A partnership. A life where I didn’t have to split myself in half to be normal.”
He looks at Rory. Direct. Unshielded.
“What did I do to repay them for lovin’ me?” Liam’s voice breaks. “I hid them from Padraig until recently. From all of youse. From everyone. I was terrified I would drag shame back into this house. I couldn’t bear the thought you would see depravity every time you looked at me.”
I clamp my hand around his.
Liam breathes in, steadying. “I’m done hidin’. We’re done hidin’.”
He turns to Linus. “You’re the bravest, most patient man I know.
You never gave up on me.” Then his eyes find mine.
“You are strength and kindness and make me feel safe in ways I never thought I would.” He sits up straighter.
“They’re my life. Both of them. I love them with every fiber of my bein’ and we’re startin’ a family. ”
Rory’s breath catches. Maureen covers her mouth, eyes filling.
“Avonna is pregnant.” Liam brings my hand to his lips and kisses it. “We’re not sure which one of us is the biological father. As far as we’re concerned, this baby is all of ours. We’re workin’ with a lawyer to sort out the legalities.”
Liam lifts his face toward his parents. “I’m sick of being estranged.
So is Padraig. Avonna encouraged me to go into therapy and it’s helped.
I won’t live my life in secret anymore.” He meets Rory’s stare dead on.
“I love them. I choose them. If you can’t accept us, now is the time to say it so I don’t waste my time here.
I’m done being ashamed and I’ll protect them from anyone who doesn’t support us. ”
Silence fills the room. A heavy, shifting quiet.
Rory reaches into his pocket. He places a set of keys on the table. The metal clicks against the wood.
“I kept the townhouse for you,” he says. “You wouldn’t take it before. It can be your home when the four of you are in town.”
Liam stares at them, breath trembling in his chest.
“Your mother and I built those townhouses for our children because we knew you all needed a safe place to live. I destroyed my relationships with all of youse.” Rory fights back tears.
“I don’t want forgiveness. None of youse ever owed me forgiveness, especially you, Liam.
It doesn’t matter if I regret what happened.
It happened. I have to face the consequences.
You and your family are always welcome in my home, no judgment.
I love you and I hope to be part of your life again. ”
Linus places his hand near Liam’s elbow. I feel Liam steady himself between us.
After a long moment, Liam picks up the keys, fingers shaking.
“Thank you,” he says quietly. “I’ll accept this now, but we still have a lot of work to do.”
Rory nods. “I know.”
“We’re going to the doctor tomorrow.” Liam squeezes my hand “Our plan is to be in Seattle as home base until the baby’s born.”
Maureen’s tears slip down her cheeks. Cillian looks at Liam with a mix of pride and pain.
“We will take this at your pace.” Rory studies his son’s face. “I want to know you. I want to know Linus and Avonna and I want to know the baby. He or she will be our first grandchild.”
Tears stream down Liam’s face. “Me too.”
Linus slides his hand over Liam on top of mine. He looks at both of us with a warmth I feel in my bones.
I know he’ll find his way back to his da.
Not tonight.
Not all at once.
At least he’ll do it out in the open.