Chapter 1
Danny
“Gracie,” I whined to my annoying big sister.
“Danny,” she whined back.
I smacked her arm.
She smacked me right back.
Harder.
A sign of affection in our family.
Then she met my gaze. “What?”
As I sat in her living room, I took a moment to admire her moxie. Moving away from home at eighteen so she could become an actor. Los Angeles wasn’t too far from our family home in Huntington Beach, but that distance felt especially huge today.
I pointed to my books. “School is so hard.”
She scratched my shorn hair as I sat at the table and she stood above me. I didn’t like how it looked when it grew out, so I always kept it short—much to Mama’s dismay. She preferred the natural look and despaired when any of her children did treatments and used products. My choice to be practically bald didn’t appease her, even though I didn’t use anything in my hair.
“Uh, Danny, you’re premed.” Her gaze softened as she smiled. “Did you honestly think you’d just sail through undergrad and right into the School of Medicine at UCLA?”
“Well, frankly, yes.”
She rolled her eyes.
I smacked her arm again. Lighter, I thought. “Gracie, I aced all my classes in high school. Had a near-perfect SAT score. Am on scholarship for premed at UCLA. This should be easy for me.” Because all my life, I’d wanted to be a doctor. Like, a cardiologist or oncologist or thoracic surgeon. Big names for big ambitions. Big dreams. I was going to make my parents proud. They sacrificed a lot for all of their seven children. As the youngest, there shouldn’t have been anything left over for me, but they’d put as much heart into me as they had with my older twin sisters—Leticia and Felicia.
“Just because everything that came before was easy doesn’t mean it’ll be that way now.” Gracie scowled. “Maybe it’s good you’re being tested now instead of when you’re in a position to actually harm someone.”
Again, with the scratching my scalp. She played with my hair to drive me nuts.
“Not everyone is cut out to be a doctor, little bro.”
“You know I hate it when you call me that.”
“And so, I will continue to do so.” She rose from the kitchen table. “You want something to drink? You can’t be hungry again?—”
“I am.” I patted my not-so-taut abdomen. I wasn’t fat…but I wasn’t slender either. I was heftier than my brother James, and that bothered me. Mama was always trying to show her love through food. Gracie, Leticia, and Felicia all inherited our grandmother’s slender frame—willowy. I, along with my brother James and my sister Whitney, had gotten our grandfather’s and father’s genes—hefty. Whitney’s curves weren’t too much. James managed to keep himself fit. Especially now he was helping take care of some dog down in Gaynor Beach that seemed to need constant walks, judging by his fake-bitching. I wasn’t as lucky. Then again, a few pounds never hurt anyone. “I am hungry. Have you heard from James lately?”
Gracie tossed a piece of leftover pizza into the microwave and refilled my water glass.
I was grateful but annoyed. I could’ve done both those things myself. She liked to mother me, and today, arguing with her wasn’t worth the effort.
“Not since Thanksgiving when Colin told us the Hep C was gone.” Colin was James’s boyfriend. And a super nice guy with an awesome dog.
“So…Colin needs a liver transplant next. Do you think James will consider donating?” Our brother was just a big teddy bear. So accommodating. So kind. So understanding. I was none of those things. Or at least I didn’t see myself that way. I was too focused on academics to deal with anything else. This whole liver-transplant thing fascinated me, though.
“I don’t know.” Gracie pulled the piping-hot slice of pizza from the microwave, plated it, and tossed that my way.
“They say that donations are best done with the same race and gender. Or, at least, those yield the best results.”
Gracie arched an eyebrow. “You’ve looked into this?”
I shrugged. “I’m premed, Gracie, and considering being a surgeon. Of course I looked into it.” Not as a donor or anything…just to see what might be involved. Especially if James wanted to donate. At least he and Colin were both guys. But James was Black and Colin was white. I tried to tell myself that things like that didn’t matter, but the odds of compatibility were a bit lower between them. No matter how much James might want to be a good match, if he had the wrong blood type, that wasn’t something wishing could fix.
“You’re thinking really hard, Daniel.”
I glowered. She knew I hated when she used my full name.
She merely smiled and pointed to my pizza. “Eat it while it’s hot. Then we can go for a walk. Let’s see if we can grab Cindy’s dogs and take them for a trek around Hancock Park. You need a break from studying.”
Gracie lived in La Brea, which, as she liked to point out, was central to everything. She worked in a high-end dining establishment as a hostess when she wasn’t out pounding the pavement for auditions. She hadn’t had her breakthrough yet, but I had high hopes for her. My sister was damn talented. And sure, I was biased. I might be closer in age to Whitney, but Gracie had been the best big sister. “Sure, a break sounds good.” I scrunched my nose. “Can you get the dogs without me?”
My sister laughed. “You don’t want to see Cindy?”
“Uh…no. Why did you tell her I was pan?”
“Because you are.” Gracie narrowed her eyes. “You’re out, Danny. Or at least that’s what you’ve always said?—”
“I am.”
“So why the fuss about Cindy?”
I considered. “I’ve dated men and women, but Cindy’s…”
“Aggressive?”
“Assertive,” I countered. “And that’s usually okay, but…”
“She’s not your type?”
That was a hard question to answer because I’d never considered myself as having a type. Knowing myself, though, meant certain things turned me on and certain things were off-putting. “I know she’s smart.”
Which was a turn-on.
“But she’s also…really set on dating me. And that’s just not in the cards right now, you know what I mean?”
Gracie nodded. “Okay, I’ll go get the dogs and you hang tight.” She put on her lightweight jacket and headed out. Early December in Los Angeles could be hit-or-miss temperature-wise. We’d gone through a spell of cool weather earlier in the fall, but we were in the mid-sixties with sunny days this week.
My phone pinged with a text from James.
—We need some assistance to do some physical labor. You up to helping? I don’t want Colin to overdo it. —
I replied. —Sure. What does this involve? —
—Tomorrow we’re moving my stuff to Colin’s and I’m renting my place out to?—
I waited for a full minute, about to prompt, but then he finished.
—A family in need. I’ll explain when you come down. —
—Sure, be there at eight. —
He gave me the thumbs-up emoji, then a string of hearts. That was James…showing affection in any way possible. I eyed my chemistry textbook. Tomorrow was study day with a major test on Monday. Except James rarely asked things of me, despite me being single and most able to help. Martin had his little daughter, with another one on the way. Whitney was busy with grad school, and Gracie’s schedule was unpredictable. Thanks to my scholarship and a bit of help from Mama and Daddy, I didn’t need to work. Which meant I had all the time in the world to lend a hand and still focus and study…
And yet I didn’t. My mind was always elsewhere. Restlessness had set in, even as med school neared.
Gracie poked her head in the door. “Two Dalmatians at the ready. You know I can walk them both alone…”
She could, of course. My sister was wicked-strong. Still, I grabbed my keys. I had one for her place so I could come over when I needed reassurance. I locked the door, then took one of the leashes. Honestly, I’d tried to figure out how to tell Lucy and Linus apart, but I was clueless. Well, except for Linus’s big dick. It wasn’t his fault that his penis hung out. If they’d been better behaved, they might actually respond to their names. Cindy hadn’t quite got the training down, so both dogs sort of did what they wanted—which was why Gracie appreciated when I walked one with her.
We did about six miles before heading back to her fourth-floor studio apartment. She was in the heart of La Brea, close to the restaurant and within spitting distance of all the major studios.
Or at least that was my perspective.
I, on the other hand, felt the hands of time creeping up on me. Becoming a doctor was going to take me eleven or twelve years through residency. Gracie could hit it big in the next month, or even the next year, but becoming an MD had no shortcuts.
While Gracie returned the dogs to a grateful Cindy, I closed up my textbooks and put them back into my knapsack. I promised myself that I’d look at them after I helped James tomorrow, even as I knew that to be a lie. After whatever physical activity was too much for just James? I’d likely be too tired. I’d drive from LA to Gaynor Beach in the morning—which meant being on the road by six. At least, early on a Saturday morning, the trip would fly by. But I’d have to drive back up afterward. I texted Mama and asked if I could stay tomorrow night at the family home in Huntington Beach. That was partway between Gaynor Beach and LA. Would get me closer to my dorm without actually landing me there. Maybe I’d study at Mama’s.
Ha.
No, I wouldn’t. I’d flop on her couch and watch reruns with Daddy. Or a game, if there was one. I wasn’t big on sports, but Daddy kept up with all the California teams.
Mama texted back that she’d make Mission-style burritos.
I countered with a request for a cobb salad.
She said she’d make both.
Which should’ve made me feel guilty. Mama’s heart wasn’t so good, and she needed to take it easy. And I patted my stomach, which didn’t need more high-calorie foods. Oh crap. I texted back that I might be eating dinner with Colin and James.
She said she’d put something aside for me just in case.
Knowing me, I’d be tempted to eat it, even if I’d consumed plenty at my brother’s place.
“Cindy says hi.” Gracie bounded into the room, still full of energy.
“You want a dog.”
She shook her head. “I get to watch Widget when Colin and James are at the hospital. Cindy lets me borrow hers. Germaine fosters, so he’s usually got one or two as well…”
I cocked an eyebrow.
“Okay, yeah, I wouldn’t mind a furry companion of my own. But you know I can’t, Danny.”
“If you met someone…”
She tossed a throw pillow at my head, which I caught with ease. “It could happen. You’re not the only lesbian in LA.”
“I might’ve…”
“Oh…?”
“There’s an app for that.”
“And?”
“I can’t find anyone who’s my type.”
“And what type is that?”
She tapped her lips. “Attractive—although that’s not the most important.”
“Yet you listed it first.”
She held up another throw pillow as a threat.
“There’s more?” I loved needling her.
“Smart.”
“That’s a given.” I didn’t say the duh—it was understood.
Grace slashed her hand through the air. “I want someone who gets me. Who doesn’t question the insanity of what I’m doing. Who will understand when I’m upset that I didn’t get a job. Who won’t mind the crazy hours I work.”
“Those all sound like reasonable things.”
She rolled her eyes. “I haven’t met a single woman who matches any of those criteria. It’s like I’m asking too much.”
I grabbed her and pulled her into a bear hug. I wasn’t as tall as James’s six four, but I held my own. Taller than Gracie’s five ten, that was for certain. Well, by an inch or two. “You’ll find the right woman, I promise.”
A snicker escaped, even as she held me tight. “I might just hold you to that promise. You can interview the local lesbians and bi women for me.”
This time, I whacked her with a pillow.
Five minutes later, I was on my way back to my dorm for a good night’s sleep. I was excited to see Colin and James again, but barely gave a thought to the reason they needed me. James asked, I responded. Easy as that.