12. Jai
CHAPTER TWELVE
JAI
“ W ell, it seems you’ve had two very interesting days,” Cali remarked as I finished recounting the whirlwind of events that had recently taken place.
“Tell me about it,” I responded, glancing over at the twins as they raced around the park, their laughter echoing in the crisp October air.
It was one of those perfect autumn days when the leaves were just beginning to change, and everything felt alive. The delightful weather and peaceful atmosphere made it the perfect backdrop for me to unwind and shake off the stress of the past few days.
“Just please tell me you didn’t share any of this with Kelsie, ” Cali said, rolling her eyes as she mentioned her name. I could see her agitation rise at the thought.
Cali had never been fond of Kelsie; she tolerated her only because of me. From what I could gather, Kelsie held a similar feeling toward Cali. There was an underlying tension between them that neither would openly acknowledge, at least not to each other. Kelsie managed to keep her thoughts to herself, likely aware that since Cali was family, I wouldn’t allow her to say too much or anything about Cali in my presence.
“I did mention my argument with Leek to her, but I left out the details of what happened yesterday with his mom. I also didn’t tell her about the job offer.”
“Job offer? What job? Now that is news to me !” she exclaimed, leaning forward with interest, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.
“I know, but I wanted it to be a surprise. You should feel special, though. You’re the only person, besides one of my colleagues, who knows about it so far.”
Cali smiled. “Well, I would feel even more special if I was the first person you told, but continue, boo!”
“Jealously doesn’t look good on you, Cali.”
We laughed together.
“I know, but let me hear about this job!”
“So, I’ve been offered a position at the Chief Medical Examiner’s office. One of the current employees is planning to leave soon, and they’re looking for a replacement. My mentor recommended me for the position, and she put in a really strong word on my behalf.”
“Jaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! I’m so happy for you, boo!”
“Thank you, Cali,” I said, feeling a warm rush of appreciation for her support.
“No, seriously, I mean it! But wait, is this job for after you graduate and pass your boards?”
“No. Actually, I’ll be getting paid while I complete my fellowship at the office. It won’t be as much as I’ll earn once I graduate and start my full-time position, but honestly, right now, I’m grateful for any opportunity that comes my way.”
“Does Leek know about it?”
“No, he doesn’t. I was going to tell him yesterday when I went home, but seeing his mama there threw everything off.”
“Good! You know I don’t like his ass either!”
I chuckled. “Cali, who do you like?” I rhetorically asked.
“I like a few people, but you know I love you.”
“Ditto, cousin.” I smiled.
“So, when do you start?”
“Actually, I spoke with my mentor yesterday, and she told me that I’ll be starting the week after next. There’s a bit of a process, though. I have to complete a background check first. But, in the meantime, I’ll be doing my fellowship there. I’ll technically be working even before everything is finalized, and if all goes well, I could transition into an official employee after that. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, it does… somewhat.”
I let out a deep, heavy sigh. “It’s moments like this that I find myself wanting and needing my parents, wishing they were still here to share in my joy. I can almost picture my mama's smile and hear her voice filled with encouragement. If only I could sit down with her and talk about everything that’s happening now. No offense to you, Cali. This feeling doesn’t take away from how much I appreciate your support.”
“None taken, boo. There’s nothing like a mother’s love. Sadly, even though my mama is very much alive and well, I can’t really talk to her about shit unless it involves money.”
The frustration and sadness in Cali’s voice were palpable, and I couldn’t help but feel empathy for the awkward relationship she had with her mom.
“I wonder what happened to Auntie Audrey. She didn’t use to be so… non-caring.”
“The better term is a bitch. And, yeah, I know she’s my mama, but let’s face it, she is a bitch! But you know she loves her some you, though.”
I could see the deep hurt reflected in Cali’s eyes, a glimmer of sadness that tugged at my heart,
It was a painful reality that had unfolded over the years. My Auntie Audrey’s affection for me seemed to overshadow her love for her own daughter, Cali. That hadn’t always existed. In fact, it felt like only yesterday when Auntie Audrey couldn’t do enough for Cali, showering her with gifts and praise. As a child, Cali was one of the most spoiled kids I knew. Every birthday and holiday brought an abundance of presents, and her wants and needs were always met without hesitation. However, everything shifted dramatically when Cali reached her teenage years, specifically around the age of seventeen. I had watched the transition unfold, and both Cali and I were unable to pinpoint why or even the exact moment the balance of love and attention drifted. And with each passing day, that rift seemed to widen.
Despite the pain of having to witness them at odds, I found myself caught in the middle, torn between my loyalty to Cali and my complicated relationship with my aunt. There was a heaviness in my heart, knowing that while I cherished my time with Auntie Audrey, my love for Cali ran deeper. As the tensions escalated between them, I made a silent vow to keep my close bond with Cali intact. During those difficult times, I only made an effort to visit my aunt when Cali was by my side, ensuring she felt supported and loved.
Gently, I reached out and placed my hand on her shoulder.
“Well, you know you’ve got me, boo.”
“I know,” she replied.
“Well, enough about all this depressing stuff. Let’s get into some juiciness,” I said, shifting my body in her direction and transitioning the conversation, hoping to lighten the mood.
“Juicy? Okay! You know I like juicy!” That instantly perked Cali up.
“So…. I’ve kind of met someone.”
“Met someone? Someone as in…” she leaned in closer, her curiosity piqued.
“A guy,” I admitted, a smile spreading across my face as thoughts of Savvy filled my mind.
“Muthafuckin' Jai! Have you been holding out on me?! And wait! Where does the kind of come in? Either y’all met, or you haven’t.”
“No, I haven’t been holding out on you. I actually met him the day Leek and I had that argument. Anywho, I bumped into him the other day at Starbucks. Not only did I bump into him, but I spilled my drink over him. You know how most of these niggas are about their clothes, so I just braced for the worst. Instead, he surprised me by offering to buy me another drink!”
As I shared the story, a smile crept onto my face at the memory of the unexpected kindness.
“Fast forward, we chatted briefly, then went our separate ways, both of us probably thinking that was that. However, that same day, afternoon to be exact, while I was at the hospital, I bumped into him again! Crazy, right?” I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.
“This is either something straight out of a Hallmark Christmas movie or, girl, you might have a stalker on your hands,” she joked, eyeing me with mock seriousness.
I chuckled, playfully rolling my eyes.
“I thought about him possibly stalking me, but it turns out he was at the hospital because his brother was admitted there.”
Cali narrowed her eyes, clearly skeptical. “Did you verify that?”
I paused, momentarily contemplating her question.
“You know what… now that you mention it, I didn’t. But he seemed so sincere when he said it, and I can’t imagine someone lying on their brother in that way.”
“Jai, I had a nigga to tell me that he was at an all-white party. Turns out, it was his damn wedding! Moral to that, these niggas will say the most believable lies when they’re trying to get something.”
I chuckled.
“Now, I’m not saying he’s lying, but you can never be sure about these niggas these days,” she added.
“That’s true.”
Although I didn’t know Savvy that well, I didn’t believe he was lying. But for my peace of mind and just to be sure he wasn’t stalking me, I was definitely going to look into it somehow.
“Oh, and then he said, ‘I know you got a boyfriend, but I thought you were looking for a husband.’ Bitch, I was speechless!”
“Yaaaaasssss! My type of man! So, what is this mysterious man’s name?”
“Savvy,” I said with a smile, savoring how his name flowed off my tongue while I reminisced about the memorable encounters we’d shared.
“Ouuuuu, Savvy. His name even sounds sexy, so I know he has to be.”
“Girl, he is!” I fanned myself dramatically, feeling a flutter of attraction.
“Well, too bad for you. You’re in a committed relationship, boo.”
I slumped down on the bench, a playful pout forming on my lips.
“I knooooow. But, honestly, I’m not sure how much longer that will last.”
Cali leaned in closer, her eyebrows raised in curiosity.
“How much longer will what last?”
I took a deep breath, preparing to reveal the secret that had been weighing on my mind.
“Cali, there’s something I’ve been keeping from you.”
Cali turned her body toward me, her interest fully engaged.
“Okay, I’m all ears. What’s going on?”
“I feel so embarrassed having to even say this but fuck it! You know how I tell you that me and Leek have sex all the time.”
“Damn near every morning, as you say,” she interjected.
“Right. Well, we do, but the shit be horrible, girl, and has been for over a year now!” I sheepishly admitted.
Cali sat in stunned silence, her mouth hanging open in disbelief at the unexpected revelation I had just shared.
“Get the fuck out of here!” she leaned in and muttered with a grin on her face.
“Girl, it’s like watching paint dry!” I chuckled. “Do you know how tired I am from having to fake moan?! Ugh!” I voiced in a low tone.
“Fuck fake moaning! If the dick is bad, pull him close and start booing in his ear. At least I would.”
I laughed. “I know you would.”
“But, Jai… I can’t believe you’ve been experiencing bad sex all this time, and you managed to keep this little secret from me for this long!” she murmured.
“I knoooooooow, but for good reason. There’s more, though.”
“Morrrrrrrrrrre,” Cali exaggerated.
“Yes! Cali, Leek hasn’t just become cheap as hell; he’s been cheap as hell for well over a year now.”
Cali reared her head back. “How cheap are we talking?”
“For starters, girl, Leek has become almost obsessive about our water and electricity usage! If I didn’t know any better, I would think the nigga watches the clock while we’re in the shower, practically timing us! Then, when it comes to lights, he insists we turn them off the moment we leave a room! It’s like every drop of water or the mere flick of a switch is a potential financial crisis in his mind! Lastly, the lack of romance has taken a toll on me! We haven’t been on a single date in what feels like forever! And it’s not just about the outings! Aside from the three hundred dollars that he randomly gave me today, Leek hasn’t offered me much, if any, money lately for shopping. It just feels like there’s no room for enjoyment or spontaneity in our relationship anymore, leaving me feeling trapped and unappreciated.”
“Whew, chile! Cheap and the dick ain’t worth shit… I can’t deal with two worthless niggas. Jayceon might be a liar, cheater, lazy, and stingy as hell, but he lacks nothing when it comes to laying that dick down! Mmm, mmm, mmm!”
From the look on Cali’s face and her tone, she was probably having flashbacks from a sex session of theirs.
“But, Jai, we talk about damn near everything! Why am I just now hearing about all of this?! Especially the sex part?!” The disappointment was evident in Cali’s tone.
“Despite all of that, Leek is a good man. So, I guess the reason I didn’t tell you is that I wanted to keep up his ‘good’ image and make at least one brother look good for something because we both know Jayceon isn’t shit.”
“I’m with you when you’re right!” Cali agreed.
“But, Cali, when I say I’m tired of having sex in missionary, bitch, I’m tired! Like, damn, do I gotta get in an accident to get hit from the back?!”
We laughed together.
“All jokes aside, do you think he could be seeing someone else?” Cali asked, her tone turning serious and causing my laughter to immediately fade.
I let out a nervous chuckle, trying to brush off her comment.
“As in having sex with someone else? Girl, no!”
Actually, that thought never crossed my mind until Cali mentioned it.
Could he, though?
“It’s just a thought. I just always found it hard to believe that Jayceon is such a big ass hoe, and his brother seems to be so innocent, and they do damn near everything together.”
“Well, Jesus sat with sinners, and he didn’t sin,” I pointed out, attempting to convince both myself and Cali that Leek was not the cheating type. The words felt hollow, and I could sense the lingering doubt in the air.
“We’re talking about the real world, though, Jai. These new-aged niggas ain’t built how Jesus was! Actually, I think some of their asses need to be men for Halloween ’cause they’ve been acting like bitches all year!”
I laughed. “But, for real, say Leek was cheating. How would I know or even find out?”
“His phone, girl! That handheld device tells it all !”
“Cali, I’m scared to go through a nigga’s phone,” I admitted. “What if I go in thinking he’s talking to Brianna, only to find out he’s sleeping with a nigga named Brian! Girl, that thought terrifies me! I can only imagine the heartbreak I would feel, probably how Peggy Scott Adams did in her song ‘Bill.’ “
“Whew! That’s a possibility these days, but trust me, you wouldn’t be the first. But let’s just move on to something else. I can tell this isn’t a topic you’re interested in talking about right now, so let’s talk about my no-good ass boy because his ass surely isn’t a man ,” she suggested.
I breathed a sigh of relief when Cali decided to change the subject, drawing me away from the storm of anxiety that had taken hold of my thoughts. The idea of Maleek potentially cheating on me had my thoughts spiraling into a whirlwind of what-ifs and worst-case scenarios.
“Oh, goodness! What did he do now?” I wondered, but there was really no telling when it came to Jayceon.
Cali went on to tell me about her and Jayceon’s issues.
“You’re lying, Cali! Jayceon didn’t even have half of what he said he would give you on the rent?” I exclaimed.
“If he did, he didn’t give me shit ! Then, he had the nerve to come home later that night looking for a plate in the microwave! His ass got a rude awakening! Jai, I tell you, when the devil can’t get to you, he sends you a toxic nigga with some good dick! I should’ve known Jayceon wasn’t shit when I first heard him snoring! Because why you can’t breathe? ’Cause his ass isn’t overweight! I know why now! It’s because his ass be stuffed with lies!”
I almost fell over off the bench in laughter at what she said.
“So, how is y’all sex life? Like, are you still getting it in consistently?” I asked once I composed myself.
“Jai, me and that nigga probably fucks twice a week now, if that, and most times he’s the initiator. If I’m being honest, I only think he wants to have sex then because he doesn’t want me going to another nigga to get it, not knowing it’s going to take more than him trying to drop some dick off twice a week for me not to consider getting it from someone else. Around this time every month, we get into it about the same shit, and I’m honestly getting tired of that shit. If he don’t get his shit together, another nigga will definitely be who he’d have to worry about ’cause I’ma make sure to find one with a bigger bag and dick!”
“Okay!” I agreed.
“I’m serious, Jai. I’m tired of being broke, especially with a nigga staying with me. The way my bank account is looking now, everybody will be getting a text message for Christmas, and that’s if my phone is still on.”
It really wasn’t funny, but the way Cali put it made it sound amusing.
“For real, though, Cali. Stop forcing that nigga to do better and get you another man… a better one! You have so much going for yourself—you’re talented, beautiful, responsible, loyal, and you’re working hard to achieve your goals. Most importantly, you’re an amazing mom.” I glanced over at the twins, and her eyes followed. “Anyone who fails to appreciate all of that simply isn’t worth your time,” I continued. “I said all that to say you can’t build with someone who expects you to do all the work in a relationship. You gotta build with someone who wants the same things you want out of life, and it's clear that Jayceon doesn't.”
“You’re right, Jai, but right now, I don’t feel bonita. I feel stressita and in need of a margarita.”
Leave it to Cali to turn a serious situation into something that brings laughter and lightness.
“You’re laughing, Jai, but I’m for real. I’m just waiting for the moment when you reveal that this has all been a cousin test and you’re actually a millionaire living large!”
We broke into laughter once more, the cheerful sound echoing around us.
“Girl, how I wish that were true!” I exclaimed, a mixture of hope and humor in my voice.
“For real, though, some days I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making up ridiculous shit. I really need to find another stream of income, one that I can dedicate entirely to my savings and another to fulfill my dreams. I’ll be so happy when?—”
“You finally decide to break free from that no-good ass nigga,” I interrupted, my voice turning serious. “Cali, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, Jayceon is the one who’s really holding you back from true happiness… even your success. Just think about it—you could be living a completely different life right now, possibly even married to a billionaire if you weren't with him.”
“There sure have been plenty of niggas with money trying to get at me.”
“See! And who knows? If I didn’t love Leek, I definitely would’ve been of found me a man with some better dick by now.”
“That part! I wonder where I can find those families who would just hand over five million dollars and say, ‘Take this money and stay away from our son?’” Cali joked.
“I’m sure if Angela had enough to give both of us, she would do something like that, but whenever you find one, please let me know.” Despite the humor, there was a little seriousness behind my words.
“I’m sure her ass is sitting on God knows how much money. She’s probably just too cheap and stingy like her sons to give up that much money,” Cali stated.
“Right! But for real, Cali, only you will know when you've had enough. It’s time to stop saying, ‘I’ll be happy when this happens’ or ‘I’ll be happy when I have that.’ Instead, make the choice to embrace happiness in the present moment.”
“I just feel like I don’t have enough money to experience the happiness I crave or to pursue the things that bring me joy,” she admitted.
“Cali, I completely understand how overwhelming things may be for you. It seems like sometimes you’re left questioning if God even remembers you in your struggles. But let me tell you—God never presents us with a dream that aligns perfectly with our current financial situation. He’s not checking our bank accounts; he’s looking at the strength of our faith. So, instead of dwelling on all the reasons why something may not work out, try to focus on that one powerful reason why it absolutely can. Just remember, if a woman holds the power to create life, she also has the power to create the life she wants. I promise you, someone else has been in a similar situation and came out on top. Just look for a solution, boo.”
“Thank you, Jai,” she said, a hint of hope returning to her voice.
I wrapped Cali in a warm, heartfelt hug and reminded her, “You know I’m always here for you, my girl. We’ll get through this together.” When I pulled back, I added, “ Now, we can go and have those margaritas you mentioned.” I chuckled. “Oh, and I’ll be treating you and the little ones today.”
“Aww! Look at you being all generous today!”
“As if I’m not generous every day?” I countered with a smile.
“You are. You are,” she confirmed, nodding as if acknowledging my daily kindness was a necessity.
“I just really don’t have anything specific in mind to do with the money Leek gave me, but I know it can get put to great use where food and drinks are concerned.”
“Yassssssss! Well, let’s go! You know I don’t turn down anything free!”
I laughed because she really didn’t. Although Cali was a very independent woman, she wasn’t one with too much pride, and she rarely ever hesitated to accept offerings from others—especially when she was sure the intentions behind them were genuine and done out of kindness.
“Zuri and Zion, come on!” Cali called out to the twins.
“Actually, let them play just a minute longer. We should take a moment to pray. You know the routine,” I replied, and she graciously extended her hands, signaling her readiness.
I had always assumed the role of the supportive friend, consistently remaining close to Cali whenever she faced challenges that required prayer and encouragement.
“You can keep your eyes open while I pray so you can keep an eye on the kids,” I told Cali, and she responded with a nod.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and began to pray.
“God, I come before you with a humble heart to ask for strength for my cousin during her moments of weakness. Help her to understand that just as no beautiful flower can bloom without the essential nourishment of rain, no person can truly shine and reach their full potential without first enduring some level of pain and hardship. What is meant to come into her life is already making its way toward her, while everything that was never a part of her journey will gradually begin to fade away. I pray that in due time, she will find clarity and understanding in the experiences she’s been through. For now, please grant her the ability to navigate through the confusion that often envelops her and help her to cherish and fully engage in the present moment, free from the burden of worry. Let her know that she is never alone in this journey. In Jesus' name, we pray, amen.”
“Amen,” Cali spoke softly. “Thank you, Jai. I really needed to hear those words.”
“Always here for you, boo,” I replied.
Cali sighed. “One year from now, I just want to be able to look back at my life and say, “Girl, you really did believe in yourself, and it worked.”
I patted her shoulder. “And we will. One day, we will sit down, remember this day, and say it was hard, but we made it!”
Once we gathered the kids, we made our way to the parking lot. After Cali secured the twins in their car seats, she turned to face me, and we stood outside the car and talked briefly.
“You know what I’d like to do, though? I wanna take a hardworking man on a date and pay for everything. We don’t have to have sex or be in a relationship. I just want to show him that he’s appreciated,” Cali said.
“That would be nice, but you know those kinds of men usually won’t allow a woman to do much or anything for them. But... if you find one, preferably one who’s single , make sure you do. That man might just be your husband.”
Cali lifted her gaze to the sky, her expression filled with dramatic urgency.
“Well, dear soulmate, wherever you are, please hurry the fuck up! These niggas doing me bad out here!” She chuckled. “But who am I kidding? My soulmate is probably white, and I’m over here chasing chocolate covered lies!”
I couldn’t help but shake my head and chuckle at her antics.
“Silly, get in the car! I'll meet you at the restaurant.”
Being around Cali was always an adventure. I swear, there was never a dull moment with her. My cousin's vibrant personality and exaggerated expressions made even the simplest outings entertaining and unforgettable.