Chapter 20
It was late evening when the Darcy carriage left Netherfield. Darcy himself had ridden ahead to Longbourn to take his leave. To his relief he was granted an audience with Mr. Bennet despite the lateness of the hour.
“Mr. Darcy, to what do I owe a visit at this hour? I hope you are not here to finally give up on Elizabeth. She would be most disappointed.” Mr. Bennet spoke in his sardonic tone.
Darcy had been drained after the disagreement with Bingley and was in no mood for Mr. Bennet’s sarcasm. He afforded the man all the respect he deserved as Elizabeth’s father but did not think him justified in his stubbornness after his lackadaisical parenting.
“Mr. Bennet, I do not have words to express my feelings for Miss Elizabeth. She is as essential to me as the air I breathe. I know you do not trust me, Sir, but I beg you to believe me when I say that I am incapable of ever hurting her.”
Darcy had always presented a stony expression which had made the residents of Meryton including Mr. Bennet consider him a proud, disagreeable man devoid of any tender feelings.
This raw emotion from such a private man had been quite unexpected.
For the first time Mr. Bennet considered the possibility that he might after all lose his second daughter to the gentleman from Derbyshire.
Taking out his glasses he rubbed the bridge of his nose as he gestured to the younger man to take a seat.
“I appreciate your steadfastness, Sir, but whatever is the matter?”
“I am journeying to town without any possibility of a quick return. It is quite unexpected and out of my control. I have come to take my leave of you and hope that you will allow me to talk to Miss Elizabeth for a few minutes.”
“Mr. Darcy, while I understand that it would genuinely reassure Lizzy, it would be quite improper for you to wait for her this late in the night. Servants do talk, as you are well aware.”
Darcy let out a long breath, though he had expected that response it did not make it any more welcome. “Sir, may I humbly request that you allow me to write to her while we are separated.”
“You are putting me in an impossible situation, Mr. Darcy. I assure you, I am not being contrary just for the sake of it, but it would be the height of impropriety for me to allow your request.”
Seeing Darcy’s deflated countenance, Mr. Bennet continued. “I am well aware that your sister writes to my daughter with some frequency, I am sure that if you were to include a small note nobody would be the wiser.”
Darcy looked up with surprise. It seemed Mr. Bennet was genuinely trying to be helpful; though he could hardly write all he wished in a note with his sister's letter, it was still better than nothing.
“I thank you, Sir, I will now take my leave. I hope you will convey to Miss Elizabeth that had there been any way for me to stay in Hertfordshire I would not have hesitated for even a heartbeat.”
Mr. Bennet had become cynical when it came to love after his own marriage but even he could not be unmoved by the staid gentleman’s tone.
For the first time he considered that he may be wrong in his judgement.
It was possible that it was this emotional side of Darcy that had appealed to Lizzy who herself had always been a romantic.
That night Mr. Bennet stayed up late just staring at a miniature of Elizabeth as a child.
The whole of her childhood kept passing before his eyes.
The inquisitive and precocious child with whom he had always felt the deepest connection.
Elizabeth had always been perceptive, he thought as he considered her warning regarding Lydia’s travel to Brighton.
If her heart was set on Darcy, she probably knew much more than he did.
He decided that he would allow them to have an official understanding once Mr. Darcy returned, if Elizabeth still insisted.
Though he would still want a long engagement, he still did not want to take any risk with her future happiness.
Darcy was deeply dejected. Even when Mr. Bennet had insisted on the long courtship, he had not felt so powerless.
In the past months Elizabeth’s company had become an essential part of his day.
The idea that he would not be able to discuss his every thought and action with her was deeply disappointing.
He was still considering how best to make her aware of the whole situation with Bingley without Georgiana being any wiser, when he ran into Lydia.
“Miss Lydia! Why are you outside at this hour?”
“Oh nothing, I decided to take a walk.” The young girl airily replied.
“In the night?” Darcy frowned.
“Everyone thinks that I am recovered but the sun still irritates my eye during the day and Kitty was making a ruckus inside which was causing me a headache. So, I decided to come here. You can relax, Mr. Darcy, I am not planning to cause any mischief.”
Seeing Darcy frown again she continued, “Do not do that, I am sure it will cause Lizzy to dislike you again.”
“Whatever do you mean?” Darcy asked, horrified.
“You know when I realised that you and Lizzy were courting, I could not understand why she would ever agree. You are always so severe. Well, there was all your help with my recovery, but I would never marry someone because they helped any of my sisters. Then I saw you smiling and being pleasant at Lucas Lodge and noticed that you are very handsome. I am sure Lizzy agreed because she must have seen that before me.”
“Thank you, I suppose.” Darcy stammered as he tried to make sense of all that Lydia was saying. He had never been comfortable with compliments, but Lydia’s matter-of-fact tone confused him even further.
“Are you here for a secret rendezvous with Lizzy? Is that why you were so unhappy to see me?”
“No, of course not. Miss Elizabeth is not aware of my presence. I am going to town on some unplanned business, and I came to take my leave from Mr. Bennet.”
“You would leave without telling Lizzy. That would be badly done, Sir. Just like Mr. Bingley did last year.”
“I am not abandoning Elizabeth. I will ask my sister to write to her the moment I arrive in London,” Darcy protested.
“Just like Mr. Bingley’s sisters wrote to Jane,” Lydia countered.
“Miss Lydia, I really cannot meet with Miss Elizabeth now. Your father has expressly forbidden it,” Darcy finally answered.
“Then write to her,” seeing Darcy was about to object, she continued. “I know it is scandalous. What is the worst that would happen? You would both be made to marry. How tragic!”
With a rueful smile Darcy replied, “I do not have any writing supplies with me. My carriage must be waiting by the Meryton road now. I can ride and get my things.”
“Oh! Fiddlesticks, we keep perfectly good writing materials. Come with me,” Lydia responded as she dragged Darcy towards the back of the house and near the kitchen.
Darcy could not believe that he was taking advice from Lydia Bennet, the girl who had always made him deeply uncomfortable with her ill-mannered behaviour.
It seemed that he was destined to be humbled before every Bennet in existence.
Soon Lydia had dragged him inside the kitchen which was empty except for a frightened young maid.
“You can sit at the table there and I will quickly get all you need,” she said as she gestured towards the kitchen table.
“Do not worry about Dorothy, she is too scared to talk to anyone. No one else will come here now as dinner is done.” She answered his unspoken query at the maid's presence as she left him there to get the writing materials.
Four pages had not been enough for Darcy to write all he wished.
He could not bear the fact that he was going to be the reason for Elizabeth’s disappointment.
Then there was that unspoken fear that something else might go wrong and Elizabeth may again refuse him.
It was not that he doubted her constancy but none of the Bennets seemed to have a good opinion of him except for Jane.
With Bingley so decidedly against him it stood to reason that Jane may also change her mind.
With these uncertain thoughts he sealed the letter and entrusted his fate to Miss Lydia’s hands.
As he mounted his horse to ride away from Longbourn he stared towards the window that belonged to Elizabeth’s bedchamber.
Remembering the time when she had pointed it out to him.
They had been discussing a romance novel she had recently read and in her own way Elizabeth had teased him, when he had compared himself to the hero in the book.
“Well, you would have an easier time, for you do not have to climb up a tower to rescue me. I am on the first floor with a convenient tree branch right next to my window. You just need to tap thrice, and I will come rushing out. But do come holding a rose between your teeth, otherwise I would be severely disappointed.” She had said with a quick laugh.
“Farewell, Dearest Elizabeth. I promise to be back as soon as possible, till then do keep me in your heart,” he whispered as he finally turned his horse and rode away.